


I've Got Dreams to Remember

by orphan_account



Series: I've Got Dreams to Remember [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-08-12 01:20:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 31
Words: 104,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7914823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nahvalia is hiding from life, love and an angry ex. In self-imposed exile she begins to try again. Some things you simply can't escape, especially your birthright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Weakness

Nahvalia looked out over the palace grounds, and further to the outlying countryside, from the balcony outside her bedroom. It had been several years since she had been inside her parents' palace. She missed it there. She sighed as she reflected on her past, especially at the memories regarding what would happen today. Once, long ago, she had looked forward to this day with longing and anticipation. Today, she and her beloved would announce their betrothal. An event that now left her feeling anxious and saddened.

He had become power-hungry, more so after learning the details of her true birthright. She was no longer sure if he was wedding her out of love, or if it was to use her as a tool to serve his greater ambition. She wanted to believe in him, desperate for their love to be enough. Yet she knew, since the conversation that must come before was a necessity, it was more than doubtful. She had to know why he wanted this, and she was going to ask.

They had long shared each other's minds. Her people were born with the gifts of telepathy, it was part of the reason they were considered such a threat despite being peacekeepers for the realms. She and her beloved also shared a proficiency with magic, thus adding an additional layer to the shared path of thoughts. It had added to their bond. Neither had tried to hide anything from the other until very recently. It grieved her to shut him out of her thoughts, but she knew it must be done. She closed off portions of her mind where her fears, desires, hopes and dreams lived so that he could not use them against her. She fought back tears as she did so because once he would have known instantly what she had done. He would have rushed to her side, concern evident in his expression.

Quiet footfalls behind her alerted her to his presence. His smile was radiant as he looked down at her never acknowledging the change in her mind. "Darling, you look more beautiful to me than ever." His voice poured over her as his green eyes drank in her face.

"You are looking very handsome yourself today, my Prince." She turned fully to face him. She attempted to keep her misgivings from betraying themselves in her eyes. He stood a few feet from her as if waiting.

Nahvalia allowed herself time to memorize every detail of his dashing form. The tall, wiry frame clad as ever in his customary black and green. Long, elegant hands, that had once cradled hers in tenderness or gently turning pages in books. Her gaze stuttered at his chest. She yearned to lean into him, rest her cheek against that chest and confess all of her fears to him. She wanted to hear his laughter in his chest as he told her how silly she was. Her breath was ragged as she continued further up, finally, to his face. His beautiful smile, those expressive lips. His impossibly chiseled cheekbones. His glorious eyes. The soft black hair. She committed the image to memory to carry with her always just in case today went terribly wrong. This may be the last time she would see him.

"Do I pass inspection, my Love?" He teased lightly until he discerned the sadness in her eyes. The smile faded from his eyes as his consternation grew. His dearest, elven beauty stood before him with tears swimming in her large, stormy gray eyes. Nahvalia should not have been so saddened on this most joyous, long anticipated day. Yet she was. He reached out to her mind and found it, remarkably, closed to him. His confusion mixed with a sense dark foreboding. "Nahvalia, my Love, what troubles you this day? Surely it is a bit late in our courtship to be getting cold feet now. You've had three hundred years to get used to the idea." He tried to jest her out of her melancholy reverie.

She chewed on her lower lip as she considered her next words, her eyes timid as the looked into his. "Loki, I....." she struggled, sighed and continued ," I need to know if this is truly about us or if it's about your larger ambition."

He frowned in question," My larger ambition? Of course, I have a larger ambition, Darling! I wish to be your husband." He smiled gently. He placed his hands on her arms, sliding them from her shoulders down to her fingers and back up again, reassuringly.

"My Prince, I must know if you wish to be my husband as a result of your affection for me, or if it is because I could further your ascension to the throne of Asgard. " She whispered.

Loki lowered his arms to his sides. Anger began to flare in his eyes as he turned away from her. How dare she? He fumed inside. Over three centuries he had wooed her. Read together, taught each other magic. They knew each other better than any other souls could! She was his! Now here she stood pretending righteous indignation over his pursuit toward a throne he was best-suited to fill? She had a throne, if he did not, his title on Alfheim would be King Consort. Not King. Never her equal. Secondly, how could she expect him to stand by and watch Thor destroy the peace of the Nine Realms with his idiocy? Knowing all of that, and given her birthright as the Keeper of the Peace and the Light of the Nine, she had the audacity to stand before him now and use them as excuses to not wed him? How dare she?

"You might have told me earlier, you had no desire for this union, your Majesty. I had no idea your nature was so fickle." Loki fought to keep his tone civil and even through sheer force of will.

Nahvalia walked the short distance between them to rest a hand between his shoulder blades , "Loki, my dearest love, I want nothing more than to be your wife. Nothing in the Nine Realms would or could make me so happy. But I am afraid now more than I have ever been." she walked around to face him. Allowing him the time to assuage her fears. " I cannot allow my armies to be committed to useless bloodshed over a battle for a throne. I fear you will use my authority to gain position for the throne. For power, not justice. I fear it is corrupting you, making you a tyrant. You no longer see me with love, but as a tool to be put to your will. I fear that one day we shall stand at opposed sides of the battle and you shall want my death.

"I tell you this now because I cannot stand aside and watch it happen. Watch what you allow yourself to become, to change yourself. I come to you with my fears as one who loves you, to warn you. Together we can protect the Realms, maintain the peace. Be vigilant caretakers of each other and our people, as partners in a loving wedded union should. If the situation were reversed, I would want you to do the same for me." her eyes were clear when she finished. Loki could see the truth and love within them.

He took her delicate chin between forefinger and thumb tipping her head back ever so slightly. His thumb idly caressed the soft flesh beneath as he stared at her parted lips. Slowly, purposely, he lifted his eyes to bore into hers, "I believe you fear you shall wed a monster. I shall tell you my fears. I fear I gave my heart to a girl who no longer deserves it, who no longer has any claim to it. I fear I showed her who I really was, all of my hopes and dreams, and she proved too foolish to be worthy to rule at my side. Nahvalia, my Love, your selfishness and ill-timed confession have wounded me. I wanted to give you everything! Share my life, my kingdom, every world and all they have to offer with you. You have broken my heart and you accuse me of being a monster." he hissed at her before dropping his hand from her face and walked away from her.

He reached the door before he spoke again without turning," If you bear me, or these realms, any affection at all you will meet me as agreed to announce our betrothal. However, if your fears are so great you cannot see past them, flee this place. Get yourself hidden so well that I can never find you. I swear to you, if you do not meet me, my Love, I will find you and make you long for death." the door closed sharply behind him.

Nahvalia's lip trembled but she did not lose her regal bearing. Her thoughts whirled with his threat. This was the outcome she had feared and prepared for. She had the aid of her father, Queen Frigga and Heimdal in the escape. Loki's ruthlessness was unwelcome, but not an unexpected outcome. She calmed herself as she began her departure.

Her first step led her down to the kitchens where the wine was staged. She removed a flask from one of her pockets and started pouring a small measure into each cask of wine. The flask contained a memory charm from her father. It would erase her completely from the mind of any who consumed it. The whole of Asgard and royals from the elven realm of Alfheim were to be here and everyone would drink to this union. Once each of the barrels had been treated, she returned to upper levels in search of the Master of Ceremonies.

She found him almost immediately. She told him of an addition she had for the day's festivities, a release of birds in the house colors of each to signify the beginning of the celebration. The Master of Ceremonies loved the suggestion and swore to its perfect execution. The birds were covered in a fine powder. Frigga had given this to her to reinforce the memory charm. The birds would fly over the crowd, causing a brief loss of consciousness, adding it's strength to the charm, allowing Nahvalia to make it to the Bi-Frost. Heading to the servants' halls to the cart waiting outside. She wanted to say goodbye to her parents and Frigga, but she could not afford to waste much needed time. She dared not use a carriage, it would have drawn too much attention. Within minutes, Nahvalia was leaving the palace behind her. She called to Heimdal from the Bi-Frost's entryway as Frigga had instructed her to do.

"My Lady," the gatekeeper intoned, "I see your fears were founded and you are prepared to leave."

"Yes, great Heimdal." she replied.

"Give me what remains of the powder, in case the wind was uncooperative. I shall spread the rest after you've gone." she placed the sack into his waiting hand. She gathered her few bags and indulged in a last glance at the palace, tears falling unchecked. Here she had learned and lived for three hundred years. She would always love the man who chased from here. She said goodbye to her true home . "I love you.' she whispered before allowing Heimdal to send her to Midgard.

The Master of Ceremonies took pride in the perfect execution of her Majesty's new addition to the celebration. Wine flowed freely and none of the guests realized their minds had grown fuzzy almost immediately with all of the excitement. The Master raised his arm to call for attention." From the Princess Royal of Alfheim to his majesty Prince Loki of Asgard: our love shall endure forever. Cheers!" glasses clinked as the second glass of tainted wine was consumed. Birds were launched into the sky. Feathers of black and green intermingled with those of blue and ivory. A gentle breeze carried among the guests a barely discernable powder that shimmered iridescent in the light.

A drowsy sensation overcame the partygoers. They turned to each other, slightly dazed with confused smiles. Loki blinked heavily- lidded eyes as he slowly comprehended the use of very subtle, yet powerful magic in use. He caught a glimpse of his mother, to see if she was aware, and saw a tear glittering down her cheek. Her eyes on him reflected sorrow and disappointment. He frowned at the revelation but found himself distracted by the sudden nearness of the ground. Twenty minutes later the guests were groggily picking themselves off the ground. No one remembered why they were there. No one recalled an elven princess at all.

Nahvalia found herself in a wooded area outside of a city. It was bustling with activity. She observed the general chaos, overhearing conversations, and began to formulate a course of action. She considered her possessions and the information unwittingly provided by sailors on the way to a bar. It seemed that a ship had very recently sunk off the shore of New York City. It had carried a young English Lord and his newly-wed bride. No survivors had yet been recovered. Nahvalia sent her mind over the wreckage area and found the reports to be correct. As depressing as that was, it would work to her advantage. She would assume the identity of the fifteen-year-old Lady Halsford Stanton. Silently she sent her thanks to Frigga, knowing that somehow the queen was helping her.

Nahvalia muted her elven appearance, altered the perceptions of those she passed as she made her way through the city to a jeweler. She separated a link from her bracelet, encrusted with diamonds and sapphires. She told her newly-minted sad tale to the man who owned the shop. He exclaimed over the beauty and quality of it's design while telling her that he would purchase it for a sizable amount. He also took pity on her immediate situation, telling her where she could find shelter and clothing. He gave her a down payment for the bracelet along with his card. He apologized at length for the delay of full payment, explaining he could obtain a buyer within the month. She thanked him and took her leave, hoping that things here might be the same as on Asgard.

On Asgard, one could learn much from the seamstress. Ladies were known to gossip idly about their business in the company of an employee. One could get a feel for the politics, commerce, and general information from a talented seamstress. The sign over the door said 'Breene's Ladies Finery', a little bell over the door jangled pleasantly as Nahvalia entered. A lovely red-head in a complicated looking gown greeted her kindly," Hello! How can I help you today?"

Nahvalia smiled tentatively and proceeded with the fabrication she had now told twice today. "Good afternoon. I am Lady Halsford Stanton, and I am in dire need of your assistance. My husband and I were coming here to start a new life together when our ship sank off the coast. I , so far, am the only survivor of the wreck. I have only what you see with me, and I have no idea how to obtain lodging, vestments, or household goods. I am at the mercy of strangers in the center of my grief. I await news of my husband's recovery, but alas nothing's been forthcoming...." her voice and control shattered. Nahvalia dissolved into tears. The events of the day suddenly too much to bear. The fight with Loki. She'd abandoned her home, her parents ,her life, her kingdom , and now she was in a strange land in a self-imposed exile depending on the strength of a lie to protect her from these people and her enraged beloved. If the truth were to become known, she'd be branded as a madwoman and chased out into the wilderness or locked in an institution. She could afford neither. She would need the protection of others if her charms had not worked. It was a surety Odin would take offense at her reneging the contract of marriage with Asgard. Heimdal and Frigga were bound by oath and honor to reveal her location to him. Only the protection of humans could save her from Loki's threat. Odin would not risk becoming known to the Midgardians as something more than legend. The loss and shame were too much to take, so she wept before the strange woman.

"Oh, you poor sweet soul!" the kind stranger cooed. "You must have a seat. Would you care for some tea? You may feel free to speak on your trials or keep them to yourself as you feel best. My name is Constance and I will help you in any way I can, Lady Halsford." Constance bustled herself out of the room setting the kettle and grabbing a blanket to wrap the girl in.

Constance returned with two cups of tea. The girl's eyes had dried somewhat before she continued her story, "I need to purchase a home and furnish it properly. I will need to have things in order in case they find my beloved husband." Nahvalia's voice cracked and a fresh flood of tears poured forth in heart-wrenching sobs. Her thoughts returning to her broken dreams of a shared life with her beloved.

Constance felt her own heart break for the poor lost girl. Constance knew precisely what it was like to be foreign and alone in this new country. Not so long ago she and her mother had come here from Ireland. The trip had been harsh, conditions over-crowded. Her mother had grown very ill as a result of the cramped, sickening conditions. She'd held on in spite of her age and arrived in New York. Her mother had lived long enough to purchase the store, but succumbed shortly after to die on strange soil far from home. Constance comforted Lady Stanton as she cried and swore to herself that this girl would find her feet in this town. Constance said a prayer for the girl and offered a handkerchief to dry her tears.

Once the weeping had ceased, Constance said," It's alright , my Dear. Nothing's happened a strong lady such as yourself cannot recover from. First things first, you'll be staying here until we can get your housing situation sorted. No arguments, I'll not hear them." she stated, interrupting Lady Stanton's attempt at such.

"Then we need to see about a bath and some garments. Oh and your hair. How do you feel about French fashions?" Constance glanced down and saw a clueless tear-reddened face. "Well, I'd imagine you aren't well-versed in making such choices yourself. Fear not, I'll provide that service for you. I've excellent taste." At this, a small smile tugged itself over Lady Stanton's lips. It was small, but a start, and a lovely one at that.

Lord and Lady Stanton's ship had indeed sunk ten miles northeast of the harbor. It had been dreadfully stormy that night and the lighthouse had been unmanned. The following day had been dangerously foggy, keeping rescuers on shore. Men were still finding the ship's debris and searching for survivors. No bodies were recovered: fish had seen to that unpleasantness. The authorities, however, believed Nahvalia to be the Lady Stanton, so all business involving the wreck was brought to her. Her ruse had worked.

Within a month the jeweler had obtained a small fortune for the bracelet. The buyer had expressed great interest in more pieces like the one provided. The gentleman assured Nahvalia he could sell anything more she wanted to offer. Constance had found another gentleman who could procure a house for the Stantons. Luckily, the man in question was the same who had found the actual Stantons a home. Nahvalia was relieved at the discovery. She and Constance set about moving in immediately, thankful and relieved by this development.

Over the course of the following three months Lady Halsford Stanton - Halley, for short- became a widow by the New York Judicial Court. Her home was sumptuous, without ostentation, furnished and well staffed. She invited her neighbors over to thank them for their kindness and assistance in making her feel welcome. She was quickly becoming New York high society. To contribute to the fabrication and help her become familiar with Midgardian society, Halley went to operas, ballets, and the theater.

Halley, as a young widow was fashionably dressed on every occasion, causing Constance's business to flourish as a result. As a premier socialite, Constance had transformed Lady Halley into the fashion icon of the growing metropolis. Her shop was sought out by the daughters of highly ranked families. Constance now had seven new seamstresses in her employ, each a young Irish immigrant, and had expanded her shop. Lady Halley also set a new standard of payment, insisting that each dressmaker is appropriately compensated for each gown. Halley paid remarkably well, she also insisted the dressmakers' themselves be dressed accordingly. Each of the seamstresses had to create their own clothes before hers. Such a thing was unheard off. It only drove the exclusiveness of the shop's customers, as well as the desire to work there. Constance was by turns astonished and proud, she couldn't have been more surprised or thankful for Lady Halsford Stanton.

Nahvalia stopped thinking of herself in terms of Nahvalia. She had now told the lie often enough, she allowed herself to become it. She called herself 'Halley" in her thoughts. What she was unable to prevent bleeding through was the desire to heal. As a light elf, Nahvalia had the ability to heal sickness and injury. She had done so often in the past. However, she had to temper her gift: humans were not as her people or an Asgardian. They had finite lives and were supposed to die accordingly. She had no frame of reference for what Midgardian healing could or should do. She also could not help being concerned with the conflict between the North and the South. She listened closely to the rumors of southern separation and the argument of state's rights. She inquired how one went about attaining the proper knowledge on healing wounded people.

"Constance, how does on go to this institution?" Halley asked while choosing a new fabric for a day dress.

"You don't," Constance stated baldly with mirth in her tone.

Halley's head quirked in question," 'What do you mean' I don't'? Surely, I can learn how to heal another with proper instruction."

"No, ma'am. You aren't the proper gender." Constance answered. She was too distracted by her own interest in business to notice a dark frown growing over Halley's forehead.

"....not the proper..." the thought trailed off as Halley found herself once again vexed by proper Midgardian society. A growl was the only warning Constance heard before Lady Halley departed silently from the cloth merchant. With an air of prudent diffidence, Constance did not follow. Lady Halley was a force unto her own. Constance continued the gathering of goods. Silk, satin, pearls and unbeknownst to her, her mistress was planning to go to war.Several things occurred that day in New York on that September day: Billy the Kid was born and Halley applied for Columbia College.


	2. Longing

New York City 1859

"How do I look?" it was a seemingly innocuous question. If it were asked from a real boy. Instead, it was being asked of a full grown woman by a girl child in straight pants pretending to be a boy.

"Not sure...what the question is.... But, no, the answer is no. You absolutely cannot do what I'm afraid you're going to do. No one is going to believe this for an instant. " Constance tried for authority.

"My darling friend, I'd like nothing more than allow you to prove me wrong. But we're set" Halley adjusted the jacket and checked in the mirror for stray hairs peeking from beneath the hat.

" I really don't think this wise. I'm almost certain it is illegal to lie about something of this nature." concern painted itself over Constance's face.

Halley's eyes rolled audibly. On the scale of lies, she was telling this one concerned her the least. "Don't fret so. If this works you'll have much larger things to be worried about." Halley ran her hands down the front of herself again for perhaps the first time grateful she had a small chest.

"Wait." Constance shot a glare at her friend. "What should I be worried about? What are you on about this time?"

"If this works, you'll have to obtain a retainer for a lawyer to help you oversee my affairs." Halley continued to check her appearance. Constance was quickly losing her patience. She grabbed Halley by the arm and turned her forcibly from the mirror.

"Why in the name of everything holy would I have to do that?" Constance growled, her brogue thick due to ire.

"I would imagine it would be because I'll be too busy working and studying to be of much assistance to you throughout the week." the placid expression on Halley's face was not doing anything to improve Constance's mood. "Now do step out of the way or I'll be late."

"You want me to be concerned you'll be late ? Of all the..." Constance walked away from the door mumbling angry sounding words under her breath. Halley smiled fondly at her back before taking her leave.

Lord Jonathan Davies was the name on the letter received by the headmaster of Columbia College. It spoke of a well educated young man searching for further instruction in the medical field. His twin sister, Lady Halsford Stanton, requested that he have the opportunity to prove his worthiness to attend such a wonderful institution. Here was a sizable donation for granting him such a rare opportunity. The headmaster reread the letter and a number of zeroes on the check enclosed then glanced back at Lord Jonathan. The boy was small. Fragile looking, to be honest with white hair and large gray eyes. "Why would you request your sister send you here."

The voice was a pleasant tenor," As you know, Sir, my sister recently lost her husband. I have been sent here to assist her through her grief. Our father isn't well enough to come and help her through the process of establishing herself here. I am interested in continuing my medical studies while I'm here. My sister should be returning to England and yet is too stubborn to do so. I shall be remaining to assist in the success of her endeavor but I need to work. It's always been my dream to heal others, that's why I'm here."

"I can't guarantee we'll admit you, in spite of your sister's generous donation. " the headmaster warned vaguely.

"Of course not ,Sir. I would like to be judged on merit alone." Jonathan smiled barely avoiding patronizing.

"Do come this way, young man. We'll see what you've learned so far and if you have what it takes to attend." Several hours later 'Jonathan' left the university. The headmaster and the dean considered themselves quite lucky to have acquired such a gifted young man.

Constance nearly tore 'Jonathan's' arm out of socket as she approached the door." Are you going to jail? How did it go?" she hissed in a whisper.

"Brilliantly! I begin classes Monday. I believe there are aspects of the body I may have known better than they." Halley's smile was radiant as she removed her hat.

Constance raised a wry eyebrow, "You were in a room full of physicians and they admitted you to the school. I dare say that is true, my Lady."

Halley patted her shoulder, "Don't be so hard on them. Most people only see what they want to see, and that was a lot of money I threw at them." she retreated to her room to change before something was thrown at her.

Halley's days began to fall into a comfortable routine. School during the week, operas, ballets, theater, and perhaps a random party filled her weekends. Her status becoming cemented by her savvy business decisions and her philanthropy. Her generosity as an employer had become well known as well, to work for Lady H. Stanton became a goal for many a person.

Asgard

The memory charm worked fabulously. The gathered crowd could not recall why they were there. They dispersed with alacrity having no reason to remain. A chamber in the royal wing was cleared as there was no one who used them. No one could remember who had. Nahvalia had removed any indication of her presence, as it would have negated the charm. Curiously, the servants found a signet ring Loki had lost three hundred years ago. The only reminder was her garden filled with flowers and plants she had placed to remind her of her home.

The royal party of Alfheim took their leave as there was no need to remain or return. Frigga watched them leave with sorrow weighing on her heart. Mere hours had passed since the charm had been worked. Frigga ensured her family was occupied before she made her way to the Bi-Frost and it's attendant.

"Has she made it safely?"

"She has, my Queen."

"Will she be alright among them?"

"She appears to be well on her way. We'll send her assistance as necessary. No one shall know she resides there unless you wish it otherwise, my Queen."

"Thank you ,Heimdal," Frigga replied sadly.

"If I may, my Queen?" Heimdal asked quietly. Frigga nodded slightly." I shall miss her as well."

Frigga's smiled weakly, "I am worried about my sons. They do not recall, but she brought out the best in them. I fear for Loki without her. Help me keep an eye on him."

Heimdal nodded," As you wish, my Queen. For the safety of Asgard."

From the moment he drank the wine, Loki felt as if a profound part of his life, himself was missing. He had spent hours wandering aimlessly searching for the missing part. The libraries, the gardens, his practice study, even the stables seemed as if something vital was missing. Even the light seemed dimmed by a nameless thing . And it hurt.

Loki, having no explanation for this feeling of remorse and loss, grew cross and spiteful. Everyone was treated to his disrespect, irritability or silence. He refused food and company, preferring hours of solitude. His heavy heart and bitterness his only company.

Months of disquiet had passed. Loki had yet to have a decent night's sleep. He would wake to reach for something that eluded him, something he wanted with a desperation that bordered sickness. Twisting at the ring that felt ill on his finger if he became distracted during the day.

He'd had enough sleepless nights. In an effort to release his tension and heart sickness he prepared a sleeping tonic. Sleep claimed him almost immediately and his dreams transported him to a wood that seemed achingly familiar and yet foreign to him. The forest stirred something within him, but this was not his place. Something- someone- had an intimate attachment to this place. He searched for his missing something for reasons he could not explain to himself.

The wood was majestic, snow covered and glittering. He knew he had never seen this place in life and it was not his mind he walked in. He felt more than heard the figure emerge from the clearing to his right. It was difficult to discern details about the figure beyond the nature of the garb. The cloak was white and fur-lined, it blended well with the surroundings. The armor it wore was a pale blue , silver gauntlets, shin guards and chest plate shone brightly in the moonlight. The figure remained in profile, Loki could not see the face.

The clarity of the dream compelled Loki to look down. His clothing was the thicker winter hunting gear he'd often worn when he went with....he couldn't recall. He pulled the cloak around him, not because he was cold, but it gave him much needed familiarity in a place that wholly wasn't. He approached the figure, his breath catching in his throat when the hood she wore fell back. A stiff breeze had blown through the woods, grabbing her hood, briefly revealing silver, white hair captured in intricate braids. The weight on his heart pressed uncomfortably down on him. Actual physical pain in his chest as he watched her replace the hood.

"Do not come any closer, your Grace." her voice was bell-clear and beautiful. He longed for her to turn to face him, and knew she would not.

"Who are you?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

"I am a memory of a memory. You should not be here."

"I am in a dream. Is it yours?" he replied in astonishment.

The girl's shoulders slumped as she sighed," I should have anticipated this."

"I am afraid I do not understand. What should you have anticipated? Why should I not be here?" Question after question assaulted Loki as he felt , for the first time in months, strangely whole. He sought for reasons to keep the unknown girl with him.

"That- never mind. It will not cease if I answer. Content yourself with your life as it is now. Go forth and do the great things you have planned for yourself. Do not return to this place. It will only cause you grief." she turned as if to head deeper into the woods.

"You seem well informed as to my condition. Do you know what has happened to me? I feel as though I've lost something precious to me." Loki tried to keep the pleading tone from his voice.

"Your Grace, you will be best served to leave such thoughts in your past. Whatever has gone should not be missed as it has no place in your present or future. Go now. Do not linger here or revisit this place. Live well, your Grace." he watched her leave without comment.

Green eyes narrowed in suspicious thought. "The lady knows more than she reveals. With words of caution not to return. This is curious indeed. Fare you well, my Lady, until we meet again." he whispered softly to the trees.

Loki woke without memory of the dream. The persistent sense of longing worsened. His jealousy increased dramatically. Thor had merely adopted an attitude of avoidance. Loki attempted to fill his days as he had previously: reading, studying the arcane. Combat training when he could not elude it. He wandered the gardens often stopping by one near his own. Here were grew hauntingly beautiful lavender -blue roses, wisteria, and an unknown fragrant lacy flower. None of which could be found anywhere else on Asgard.

Frigga watched silently as the gap between her family grew. Thor was hesitant to invite Loki anywhere , so the younger was left to his own solitary pursuits. She looked on as the All- Father's gaze would slide from Loki to the vacant space to his left. She kept her own counsel. After all, she and Nahvalia had chosen this as the wisest recourse. There was no retracting it now. Frigga still missed her. Nahvalia had brought a life, a joy to the palace.

Every year on Nahvalia's day of birth Frigga honored her by visiting Heimdal, inquiring after her well being. Every year the answer was the same. "She thrives among them, my Queen. The Princess creates an abundant joyful life." Heimdal would report with a small smile. Every year Frigga walked back to the palace and resumed watching her family. Loki grew increasingly despondent, feeling unloved and unwanted. Thor grew more arrogant and selfish. Odin grew more distant and cold. The Light of Alfheim shined away in secret, far from those who had once loved her.

Nahvalia's birthday once again. This was the twentieth such trip Frigga had made. She carried a whiskey and two small glasses with her to honor the elf's day with the only other person who remembered her. Frigga was anticipating the same answer, the same sense of loss that had always accompanied this trip. She found Heimdal staring into the distance, a deep frown on his face.

"Heimdal," Frigga called to him, handing him a glass of spirits.

"She may soon be in aid of our aid, my Queen." the gatekeeper spoke gravely.

Frigga laughed without thinking," Heimdal, she's graduated from a male only institution of learning, fought and won a civil war, amassed a fortune and created a small empire of her own without our assistance. What more could happen to her that she would need us?"

"Time is her enemy, my Queen. She lives among them, yes, but time has not stopped for her Constance. Nahvalia's people live as long as the Aesir. She has ensured she has appeared to age accordingly, but I don't believe she's prepared for what is to come. Her friend has contracted an illness, it will claim her life."

"Certainly, that is no obstacle for Nahvalia. She'll simply heal the woman and carry on. She'll....oh. Oh, no." Frigga's words halted in her throat. The secretary couldn't simply get well, no one did. Nahvalia couldn't just make it disappear, Midgardians had no cure for the illness yet. This was the reason behind the schooling. Nahvalia had to know what could be cured and what couldn't. Too many questions would be asked if her patients' miraculously kept getting better. After twenty years Nahvalia and Constance were fast friends, let alone the fact the woman ran most of the businesses. Who would help Nahvie navigate the world? Who would help her hide? Panic began to set in as Frigga's dark thoughts took wing.

"My Queen, we will send her aid should she need it. As you said, she's done well among them. It will just be an unexpected, painful blow. Excuse my sentimentality, my Queen, I just don't like to see her grieving. Especially not alone."

Nahvalia's guardians sat in silence powerless to prevent her pain, while millions of miles away Nahvalia lived oblivious to the looming threat.


	3. Desperation

New York City 1861

In the two years, she had worked for Lady Halley there were things Constance had never seen her do. Just as there were things she wished she hadn't seen. Like her daily trips to the university as 'Jonathan'. Or her trips to the red light district to give the girls a quick once over and medication. Or her trips to Belmont to ride the horses. Or her incessant desire to learn to climb a tree, that one was really going to have to stop! The next time she had to stop another grown woman from hopping up an elm, Constance was going to leave her. But it was days like today that really bothered Constance. Lady Halley had gone to the tuberculosis ward on Blackwell. The hospital served not only the poorest New York had to offer, but one could take a tour of the asylum and the prison while they were contracting TB.

Constance had never heard her curse, seen her drink anything stronger than tea. She had never seen Halley lose her temper. So when the front door slammed shut, a hat went flying across the parlor and the bar was raided without an apparent need for a glass, Constance had no frame of reference for how to deal with the situation. Halley cursed a blue streak as she stomped up to her room. Constance had begun to pray with her ears covered after the second 'fuck' resonated within the space of five words.

Quietly, Constance made her way up the stairs taking care not to step on the creaky one. She settled herself at the keyhole watching Halley work out her rage. An angry string of words issued forth that, at first, Constance confused for French. Before long though it was clear that it was not any language Halley had spoken before. It was interspersed with pauses at odd intervals. Moving to a different vantage point at the keyhole revealed the reason : the pauses were due to Halley drinking from a bottle of whiskey. Halley was quite petite, delicate if one were honest. Yet Lady Halley must have been quite thirsty and possessed an unheard of level of tolerance. One- fourth of the bottle had disappeared into her in less than thirty minutes. This is not going to end well, Constance thought to herself. That was when Halley began ranting in English.

"Even here you torment me! This is to be your revenge on me isn't it, Love? I leave you to your Asgard and you start haunting my dreams! Now there's this disease! It would be so easy to walk right through the middle of them. Watch them jump from their beds, healed as if newly born! Whole. Complete. It would work right up until they started asking questions. Then they, just like you would have done, would make a weapon of me! I could have called down the wrath of the heavens on you for threatening me , but no! I had to love you! Give you my heart! Let you destroy yourself for power. I - I -I could scream out and call Heimdal right now! End this charade here, now! I would watch the recognition grow in your eyes right up until the torture started. And even then I would try to save you from yourself. Damn you, Loki! Damn this heart! Fuck this life! Damned be it all!" Halley screamed her curses to the ceiling.

For two years Constance had worked for this woman. She had long ago accepted Halley's eccentricities. There was something strange about her. Halley was fearless in a way Constance had never known anyone to be. She had an abhorrence for violence that bordered on insane, she ate no meat! Halley threw herself against suffering like...an angel. Constance started to cross herself and thought again. No. No angel would drink like that. Scream like that. Cuss like that. She did cross herself then. No, whatever wonderful thing Lady Halley was, she was no angel. But she was in pain. She needed a friend.

Constance opened the door and sat on the floor beside Halley. "Now here is what is going to happen. You are going to stop making this ruckus. At the rate you're going you'll have everyone up here. You're going to clean yourself up. I'm going to get another bottle, some tobacco, an ashtray and two glasses because neither of us is sailors. When I get back you are going to sit here on this floor and tell me what all of this is about. Darlin' you owe me the truth." she waited until Halley had nodded before taking her leave.

Halsford Stanton watched her secretary leave. She took several steadying breaths and took one last drink from the bottle. She stood, washed her face in the basin and changed into her nightgown. She returned to her spot on the floor and was soon joined by Constance. Drinks were poured. With a last deep breath, Halsford was back to Nahvalia.

"I am Nahvalia Talis Ja'Darehn, Light of the Nine Realms, Princess Royal of Alfheim, beloved of Prince Loki of Asgard. I was raised on Asgard so the princes and I could determine which of us, if at all, were compatible for marriage. Due to our bookish natures Prince Loki and I grew close. We fell in love..."she began.

The story took until dawn to tell. Constance held her silence throughout. Even as the tale concluded with the deplorable conditions on the island. Constance had thought herself ready to hear anything, in fact now she wanted to hear more! Constance had a deep affection for the delicate woman before her. Now she knew the affection was reciprocated. They were friends now, not just a work relationship, with a secret that needed to be protected. It also raised some concerns regarding the future for Constance, like who would look after Halley when she died. She saw Halley now with new eyes. So much love, so much kindness, and still all that unhappiness and pain.

Halley stared off into nothing. Her soul too empty from sorrow to do more. She had given all she had over those hours, and what she wanted was on Asgard threatening to torture her. She wanted nothing more than Loki's arms and kisses. His reassurances that things would be okay, but those no longer belonged to her. They weren't to be again.

"Nahvalia." Constance had to repeat it several times, she got no response. "Halley!" she finally snapped. Halley's head turned abruptly. "You need to listen to me now. We've got some things to do now, you and I. First, we need to prepare your enterprise in case something were to happen to me." Constance held up a hand, forestalling Halley's argument. "No. You need to be prepared because you cannot do this alone. Honestly, I need an assistant because you are busier than any one person should be. Secondly, let that man go. You said yourself that his schemes were too much about power and not about giving. You give too much. Look for a man who lives, believes and works as you do. And look! You've hidden too much. There have been gentlemen trying to garner your attention since the minute you opened your front door. Give them a chance. You are stuck on a man who has sworn to hurt you. Move. On.

"Lastly, never lose yourself. Nahvalia. Halsford. Halley. Does not matter. All of these strong, beautiful women are you. Continue to be the example you are. " Constance took Halley's face between her hands so she couldn't look away. "You have been a blessing to me that I have thanked God for daily. Continue to be a blessing. Or I swear before Jesus I will haunt you when I die."

Halley removed the hands from her face and held them in hers," Thank you. You are ever a blessing and a gift to me as well. Get thee to bed, my friend. I think today, we sleep in." Constance rose gracefully albeit slightly tipsy.

That April, the nation erupted in civil war. Lady Halsford Stanton took herself on a tour of Europe for the duration, leaving Constance in New York to handle her business affairs. In truth, she entered into military service as her twin brother. Jonathan Davies had an incredible patient survival rate despite to grim conditions in the Union's field surgical ward. The frequent letters exchanged between 'Jonathan' and Constance assisted her male cover and allowed her to make decisions on business while away. He left the war as Major Jonathan Davies. As a result when Halley returned from Europe and her 'brother' sailed away four years later she was quietly the wealthiest woman in the United States of America.

Halley did not return from the war the same person she'd left. She refused to speak about it, telling Constance that no one should ever see something like that, so she refused to burden her with more. Halley stopped sleeping without a light on for weeks. She would wake screaming for the shots to stop. It took months for that to stop and she held her silence the whole time. Watching her hurt killed Constance inside, but she knew why. Halley didn't share things, not until the weight of them broke her.

Winter 1868

"Go to Breene's. On the corner. Ask after Claire," Constance shouted to the young girl.

"Do I employ each of your requests?" Halley asked, a raised left eyebrow

"If I want them to work there, yes," Constance answered.

"Ummmm. What is it they do for me again?" Halley asked.

"Brocade." she answered.

"Seems way too French. Isn't that last year? " The query was left unanswered.

 

Summer 1880

Lady Halley and Constance were returning to New York City after trips abroad. Trips abroad during winter had become the tradition in the years following the war. Halley had insisted Constance spent Christmas with her family. The trips length grew as Constance watched her family grow and lives end. Constance had gone back to Ireland to visit family, while Halley had visited England. Constance was grateful Halley had always let her go alone, this trip especially. It was becoming hard to hide her illness from Halley. She could be so oblivious and yet managed to observe everything she wasn't supposed to see. As an example, she had failed to notice Constance was in love with her, yet she noticed the unwelcome attention Constance received from the butcher. In the twenty-one years, they had known each other Constance was still surprised at the things Halley could do to irritate her. She shook her head fondly as she waited to see the doctor. It was not good news.

Halley was distracted. Constance was by turns happy and irate about this. Halley should have been describing what a lovely time she'd had or asking her incessant amount of questions as per usual. Instead, she stared out the window, brow deeply furrowed in thoughts she was refusing to share. If she were refusing, it usually meant bad. Very , very bad.

"All right, out with it," Constance demanded. " You are terrible at hiding things from me."

"I'm selling the house and going back to school."

"Why?" Constance asked. It wasn't Halley that looked back at her. It was Nahvalia. Constance lowered her head unable to look her friend in the eye.

"I cannot live in that house without you. Everything I've done here was a direct result of your assistance. I will forget to put my face on without you because this is my home. You've done that for me. You gave me a home." she snarled at Constance.

"As did you for me. I have more money than I know what to do with because I dressed that glorious ass for years. So if anyone in this carriage has any pity for you, I promise it isn't me. You seem to be doing just fine handling it to yourself." Constance spat back.

"You're dying." it was a statement, not a question. Nahvalia's voice broke.

"Darlin' I'm forty - four years old. I have cancer. Yes, of course, I'm dying." Constance addressed the ceiling as opposed to the tear- filled face of her friend.

"You were too far away for me to heal it." Halley addressed her lap, unable to look at her friend. "You will leave me quick. It's too advanced at this stage for me to heal you in bits. I'll have to do it whole or..."

"You will not." Constance cut in. She cared not for propriety or manners. "You will do no such thing. You will follow the plan. You will let me die and you will carry on. Do you hear me?" the brogue truly thick as her ire found it's true target.

"I'll have nothing without you. You are my only friend. " she let it out then. The vulnerability, the real Nahvie.

"You will come out okay. I've seen you do it. Don't build such high, deep walls. Let people in. You are far too guarded. You make yourself unapproachable. Get out! Have fun. Live for me!"

"I - I-..." nothing she found to say was right or appropriate so she settled for silence.

"It's okay, Darlin'. I know."

"No. You don't." Nahvalia spoke with finality. The silence becoming thick , it stayed that way between them for weeks.

 

In the end, it was settled by Halley leaving. Constance couldn't work with Halsford breathing down her neck. "You are becoming a problem, Hal. Go."

"You may need me," Halley growled.

"As much as I need a hole in my head." Constance grumped quietly.

"I can hear you." she shot back.

While Halley was away Constance did some body-snatching. A dressmaker to run the shop. A cobbler from downtown for her arches. A mute stable boy in case she forgot her face. She began to build the staff Nahvalia would need when she was gone. A head of staff who would be meticulous about the house but had a home of her own. She appointed a chef who was experienced and didn't balk at meatless meals. She'd found a secretary well versed in dictation and good at arithmetic. What she couldn't do was find Nahvie a friend.

Nahvalia made sure she didn't go too long. She was taking her friend down Fifth Avenue when Constance found more employees. "Are you handy with a needle?" she inquired of a ten-year-old girl.

" No, but me mam is."

"Go to Breen's with your mother. Tell Claire your mother has a job and you need clothes. Am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Is this your brother?' Constance asked the girl. The boy's legs were strong but his mind wasn't.

"Yes ma'am, but he's not good for.."

Constance cut her off, "Nonsense. Is he good with animals?" the girl answered with enthusiastic head nodding and a smile. "Good. Go to Stanton house. Ask for Ben. We need a groomer."

"Halley." Constance snapped.

"Aye, Sir." she answered with a wryly raised eyebrow.

"You need to find someone to do this for you."

"Oh goody. Because you doing the bossing of me has been so pleasant for the last twenty years. Goodness knows I want to sign up for more of that." Halley leaked sarcasm over the pavement as they resumed their walk.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Halley smiled.

Heimdal and Frigga toasted her honesty. "I like these mortals."

"As do I, my Queen."

Constance's funeral was an understated affair just as she wanted. Nahvalia was at a loss to what to do with herself. It was a letter from Constance, the last one sent during the war, that finally drew her out of her funk. "Come home and move on with your life" it read. Halley remembered the threat as well. With the house unoccupied with the exception of one, she traveled back to the forest. Nahvalia had ceased being Halley when Constance stopped breathing. She would carry the words with her instead.

 

Loki remembered this place. He'd attempted to return often. She had not. For so long now winter had held his heart. SHE was here. He felt it. Heat and hope grew within him.

Over the years Loki had visited this place. He couldn't help it. It drew him like breath. Even when he knew she did not walk here he found peace, though not the wholeness as he had when she was there . Secret arms held him here. This was safety . He had watched her wander and knew the differences between when she wandered and when she slept. She had ceased wandering. His heart retained the memory of her warning.

She was wandering now. She appeared in the glade. Her heart broken and her tears falling over a stone. For once she did not hide. Her hair curled around a circlet. Her slim fingers wound in silver jewelry . Her cloak and gown befitting a royal. He rushed forward. Headless of reprimand, or his heart's own warning. She recovered a breath too late.

Loki saw her face in a flash. Soft pale skin, large grey eyes, those full lips. He had painted her face on anyone- everyone- that held a resemblance He didn't know why until then. Her face, his dreams! And then his eyes darkened with a familiar pull of desire.

"My Lady, often have I lingered here for the briefest glimpse of you ." slowly, cautiously Loki walked toward the slight, still form.

"I wake from my dreams starved of hope. Lacking in the true will to live. I've seen you now as I have never seen you. And I am afraid." he told her.

For the first time since the last time she spoke. " Why?" she turned to face him for the only time. Her beauty overwhelmed him. "Why do you fear?"

Loki shivered and she felt it. "I fear that this time, you'll leave and not return. I fear that the only reason I see you now is because you are in pain and you still care for me. If I don't tell you how I feel you'll be gone."

Nahvalia closed the distance between them. Turbulent, grey eyes met hope-filled green. Memories swirled between them like breath. Heart beats echoed in opposite hearts. Within her eyes, Loki could see the change twenty years had wrought. There was a sadness that quietly demanded comfort. A smile lingered that he could only hope was meant for him. A kiss waited in those delicate folds for a man, the right man, to take. She had a strength she hadn't before because she'd found the steel in her spine.

Loki knew her and didn't know her all at once. Nahvalia took the ghost of his ring from her finger and his left hand in both of hers. He felt the weight in his hand as he willed it to be untrue. A moment flashed between them:

She had gone home for six months, it had been the longest separation they'd had since she'd come to Asgard. She had run to him without hesitation or fear of reprimand. She hugged him tightly and held his hand as they ran to the stable. They had ridden to his favorite spot where they shared kisses and exchanged confessions of love. She gave him her birth ring there, giving him claim to all that she held. He had given her his signet ring, an emerald surrounded in onyx. It marked her as his.

Loki looked down at the unwanted weight. It was no wonder the ring felt ill on his hand, it should have been on hers! The ring she had given him was gone. A delicate design of white gold surrounding blue and white diamonds He looked down at her hand and found it. She said nothing as she watched pain tear its way over his face. She didn't need to : it was mirrored on her own. She turned and attempted flight. A wordless sob and a scream warred within him. He staggered after the ivory velvet and pale blue brocade cloak as it retreated into the darkness of the forest.

She turned back, tears falling unchecked," I told you not to come back here, my Love. It would only bring you grief. Fare you well, your Grace." she bowed, turned and disappeared.

Loki woke screaming. His mother and his brother held him tight to stop the shaking. He wouldn't stop saying no.

"She loved me." he gasped at his mother," She loved me and I made her leave. No. Worse. She loved me and I threatened her. I threatened her so she wouldn't come back. She loved me."

Thor left after ten minutes. Drink, women, whatever. He had to get away from his little brother. Maybe Loki should get out more. Maybe he was in need of a woman. Loki needed to leave the damn books alone. Obviously, he'd read too many! He'd had a nightmare about a girl in a book. No one could love Loki, not like that!

Frigga held him until his raving was reduced to muttering, his eyelids heavy from exertion. She was the only one to hear," I loved her. I loved her, but she'll never come back. She teased me, treated me like I wasn't a disease. I loved her but I threatened her. She was the only one who called me that name. 'Your Grace'. I-I-I- loved her. Now she will not come back." he whispered.

Frigga did what needed doing. She went down to the wine cellar and retrieved the wine from that day. She added the powder to give it strength and poured it down Loki's throat. She took turns hating herself and acknowledging it had to happen. She only told Heimdal what she had been forced to do.

New York City 1889

Lady Stanton took a turn after Ms. Breene's death. She had grown philosophical. She'd read for hours but only great religious texts. Treaties on philosophy. She had yet to purchase a new home. She would go days without speaking, eating or sleeping. The staff figured she was ' making her peace with God'

So it was really no surprise when they received a letter:

My dearest staff,

I have departed for home. It is my wish to finish my life there. Someone of my family will arrive eventually. She will have my name. You will know her. She is heir to all I have. Please guide and help her. She will need you as much as I ever have. I shall miss you. Thank you, I have been blessed.

Truly,

H.Stanton


	4. Seeking

Nahvalia buried her pain and then began to run from it. She traveled from one war-torn region to the next. Self-recriminating thoughts chasing her every step. Constance. Loki. New York and all those she'd abandoned haunted her. She would have gone home, had she one to run to.

She lost track of the skirmish, battle, or whatever. She lost track of time. She'd buried herself in the wounded. She only saw the lost. She didn't try to protect an identity, whatever for? She could simply walk away if it got too close. Nahvalia drifted from war to war. Allowing the hurt to fester and grow. Compounding her troubles by adding the horrors of war to them.

 

1928 Africa

Nahvalia labored over an elderly villager. Her hair hung in sweat-soaked clumps around a testy, tired face. She longed for the snow. She longed for a rest, and that was when it struck her. She had been running from herself. She was denying herself the time to process her grief and deal with the pain. She'd refused herself any form of comfort.

Her sleep was haunted by things she refused to acknowledge. She had never returned to her meditation forest, she feared Loki walked there. She was avoiding going back to New York, from buying another home. Constance wouldn't be there. What would she do without her? She settled her patient and stared at her hands. The bloodstains were only in her mind, but she saw them as clearly as she saw her own fingers. She had waded in blood, she had seen the atrocities men visited on other men. She had seen what horrors people could visit on other people. It had left its scars on the backs of her eyelids.

War wasn't something the Princess Royal had been sheltered from. She had to learn warfare, she was her father's only heir. The difference? She had been to rooms where healing happened, she'd never been brought to men too injured to move. She had never seen the brutality of the front lines when active before. Her mind and stomach rebelled at the implied revisitation of some of the sights she'd seen here. She knew she was scarred, she knew she was damaged. She just did not realize how extensive the damage had been. 

Her hands massaged a spot between her eyebrows as she considered her options. She knew she needed time. Time to rebuild her fractured psyche. She enjoyed Europe, but it wasn't home. She would do her best healing amidst the familiar trappings of New York.

'Lady Halsford' was surely dead by now, or she would have been. Reappearing as a teenager or young adult came bearing its own set of difficulties. She did not want to be discouraging suitors in this fragile state of mind. For this, to work, she would have to surrender herself into the care of others. The board of directors had cared well for her business interests. She would contact the legal team in London so they could begin to arrange for her coming. Another house would need to be purchased, furnished, and the staff would have to be recovered from their current employment. Her plan coalescing faster than her attempts to stay away ever had. The only perceived hiccup was her name. 

Nahvalia's plan had unconsciously allowed her to retain her own name. Halsford Nahvalia Stanton could go to New York and make her life. If the plan worked, and it would she had no doubt, even if the All-Father and Loki discovered it there was nothing they could do to her. She would be better protected now than she had ever been.

 

Brooklyn Heights 1928

The rush of activity outside the old house was astonishing. The legal team and the realtor had deliberated briefly over locations then price. The house on Joralemon Street was precisely the kind of place they figured Lady Stanton would have wished for her grand niece. There were trees, a rear garden, and a carriage house. They had set about painting, cleaning, and furnishing. 

Sasha was a holdover from the days of Ms. Breene. She had been hired straight off the streets along with her family. She recalled meeting Lady Halley once. Lady Halley had been so regal, so elegant. Her house so beautifully furnished and refined. It fell to Sasha to decorate this house as close to that as possible. She had chosen wall colors, wallpaper, and rugs. China and flatware. The furnishings were chosen for their grace and style. Every item an epicurean assault on the senses.

Sasha had purchased things Lady Halsford would have enjoyed. Lady Halsford Ashton Stanton was not anything close to what Sasha had expected.

Ida Barnes had been hired on Sasha's recommendation. It would fall to her to oversee the general state of the home. Chefs, delivery men, and housekeepers would all come to her with questions or for dispatches. She had excitedly run to tell her sister Winifred the good news.

"Freddie! Freddie!" Ida exclaimed, racing through the door.

Winifred attempted to calm her sister as the commotion drew the children's attention. "Stop screaming. I'm here. what is the matter?"

"I'm working for the new Lady Stanton!" she gasped out. The assembled family grouped about her, their mouths in 'o's.

"When do you start?" Winifred asked.

"As soon as she touches land." 

"Thanks be to all in Heaven,"Freddie answered before clasping her sister in a hug.

 

 

"I believe we've done well,my Queen," Heimdall said turning toward Frigga.

A slight frown creased the brow of the queen. A foresight, or vision passing through her mind." Mayhap, Heimdall. Or we've done far more damage than we know."

Heimdall considered her for a moment." It will be as must be."

"True," Frigga answered as she tried to take her leave, the vision still bothering her. "It will not be us that lives it."

Heimdall was treated to a vision of us own: Frigga bleeding out under a dark elven dagger. "Not all of us will, my Queen. Not all of us will." he intoned quietly.


	5. Respite

James Barnes and his best friend Steve were headed over to the Stanton House. James' Aunt Ida was baking cookies today and her friend Sasha wanted them to meet the new girl. Well, that may not actually be what she said, but he was positive it was what she meant. James had overheard them talking.

"Sarah, you should see the poor thing. She came off the boat alone. Barely any luggage and sad as could be." Ida was telling Steve's mother as they shelled peas.

"You'd think with all that money they could have sent a governess with her." Sarah's tone reproachful.

"That just it! Old Lady Stanton sent for money loads of times until 1913 and then it just stopped. Nothing. Then, we get a telegraph from the London office telling us to buy and furnish a house. They just packed her up and sent to her to strangers. Her parents are gone, Lady Halley is gone. She has no one." Sasha told her sadly.

" That's awful! Is she sickly? How old is she?" Sarah asked, sympathy evident in every word.

"She's eight but no bigger than a five-year-old. Your Steve dwarves her, fair truth." Ida nodded for emphasis. "Our Rebecca is as big as she."

Sarah clucked her tongue, "Needs a mother, she does. And a friend I'd wager too."

"Without a doubt. All she's done is read, barely speaks. As polite as can be, though. Very clean too." Ida commented.

"I'll be by tomorrow with some treats for the little thing. Look her over, make sure she's healthy." Sarah promised.

"Oh do! But maybe not bring the boys? She is just such a shy, tiny thing! Just as pretty as they come! As pale and lovely as Lady Halley herself. God rest her."

 

James and Steve walked into the kitchen of Stanton House. It never ceased to amaze the boys how the other half lived. You could have fit both James' and Steve's apartments in the kitchen and dining rooms alone.

"Now where do you think the two of you are going?" Aunt Ida asked from the pantry door. Sarah had just left. Ida figured they had followed her and then waited for her to leave before announcing their arrival.

"We came to meet the new girl!" James smiled at his aunt.

Ida's face went from gently scolding to almost angry. "You walked the better part of six miles with Steven? I know she's an heiress, but she isn't the queen. What were you thinking? He could get sick!" she rushed to Steve, sitting him down, and fetching a glass of water for him.

"But she is a Lady, isn't she? Closest we'll ever be to royalty, I reckon." James reasoned at the scowling face.

"That may as well be true." Ida retorted. "Just the same you should not be here James Buchanan Barnes. Or yourself Steven Grant Rogers. Your mothers will both be worried sick!"

A small gasp broke up the rebuking. In the doorway stood a slight, frail- looking girl. Large, wintery gray eyes, almost too big. Pale, blond hair caught in braids wrapped crown- like around her head. Her frock was blue, lacy, and very girly. Her hands clasped before her, a nervous expression on her face. "They won't be in too much trouble, will they?" she asked in that tiny, whisper soft voice.

"Most like as not, no. But they should be hided." Ida answered turning back to glare at the boys.

"They were merely curious I'm sure. Perhaps if I apologized on their behalf it would not go as badly for them." The girl's bottom lip caught apprehensively between her teeth.

Smiles appeared on the boys' faces as they glimpsed a punitive reprieve. Ida sighed dramatically,"Now you've done it, my Lady. Now we'll be forced to keep them and feed 'em. This one's my nephew James. This one is his friend Steve." She cast her eyes to the sky,"God's mercy be with us, they'll never leave now."

The young girl stepped forward and curtseyed. "How do you do? I am Lady Halsford Ashton Nahvalia Stanton. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Her accent quite pronounced.

"Hi, call me Bucky." James extended his right hand. The young lady's eyebrow raised confused. Ida took the girl's right hand, placing it into the one offered.

"Here we shake. No more than twice and keep your grip firm if you're honest." Ida instructed. Young Lady Stanton did as she was told.

"Hello miss, I'm Steve. Pleased to meet you too."

"Charmed." she replied with a smile shaking his hand.

"Alright then. Miss Stanton, please take these heathens out of my kitchen or you'll never eat," Ida instructed, attempting to shoulder them out the door.

"She can't wear that." Bucky gestured to her finery.

"Oh?" Ida asked.

"Naw. She'll get it all messed up and torn." He looked down at the diminutive figure. "You have the best climbing trees in town. Can't do that in a dress," he told her wisely.

Nahvalia looked down at his jeans."Oh dear. Of course, you're right. Please excuse me. I'll be just a moment." She ran from the room. She returned minutes later in jeans and a short sleeved shirt. She looked at Ida timidly, "Miss Ida, I know the boys do not have permission to be here. Do you mind letting their parents' know where they are? Oh, and please invite them to dinner. I've longed for friendship for some time now. It is only proper their parents are familiar with their acquaintances. It is much appreciated." without waiting for a response she took a bag from the wall, placed a few apples within, and joined by both boys trailing behind her left.

Nahvalia had elected this age specifically. She would learn all of the current customs as taught to children. She would need no one to look over her shoulder to ensure she behaved properly. She would know them by rote from practice. She could keep this disguise for many a year, and she needed the freedom not afforded an adult to heal her heart and mind. There was another reason she had not yet admitted to herself. However, it confronted her blatantly as she walked.

Nahvalia had always made her most lasting friendships with boys. She had gathered from their minds the strength of the friendship between this pair. In their hearts, they loved the other as dearly as brothers, more so perhaps. After all, they had made the choice. It was not lost on her the similarities betwixt the two with her now and the set she'd left behind. She stopped at the garden shed before she allowed them to lead her to the trees to find some rope.

Steve and Bucky taught her to climb trees, promised to show her to skip rocks and play baseball. She showed them freeze tag and let them feed the horses. They were large, handsome animals she had developed a breed fondness for, Friesians. The boys adored them almost as much as she. It was one of the best days of Nahvalia's life.

"Why do you have a boy's name?" Steve asked her as he helped her weave the branches of the willow tree into a hammock.

"It's a family name. Do you not like Halsford? My great aunt was called that." her head tipped slightly to the side.

"Yeah, but they called her Halley," Bucky answered.

"I don't feel like a Halley," Nahvalia responded after a thoughtful pause.

"That's cause you aren't one. You aren't a Halsford either. Maybe Nahvalia fits, but it's too odd. You'll get bullied for that. I think you're more of an Ashton , but that's too long and formal. I think we'll call you Ash. Like your hair." Steve concluded.

"Ash?" Nahvalia tasted the name slowly. She liked the direction the conversation had taken. It had been too long since she'd used her given name, she wasn't sure she'd answer to it now. Constance had begun calling her Halley and now Steve was giving her a new name.

"Like her hair?" Bucky echoed. Girls were pretty and they smelled nice, but similes were still a bit of a stretch at this point.

"Yeah like this story Mom tells about the stolen child." Steve fell silent, a rosy dusting on his cheeks.

"Well come on, Punk! Tell the story." Bucky demanded.

Steve turned on his branch gauging his audience. Bucky had moved a couple branches closer so he could lean against the trunk. Ashton tested their handiwork, it held well. She smiled and motioned him to join her. Steve was careful as he did so and was immediately rewarded with an apple and her head on his chest. Steve saw Bucky frown.

"Come on. There's room for you too, Bucky," he called. He and Ash shifted as Bucky settled himself on her other side. Her smile grew wider as she offered him an apple of his own.

"Alright. So here's the story....." Steve began.

Dinner time was nearing, the guests were coming, and the children had not been seen for hours. Ida went looking for them. One of the stablehands, departing for the day, told her they were last seen in the big willow tree by the paddock. A large, basket-like structure appeared to be holding them. Ida marveled at the handiwork. Checking around to be sure she wouldn't be caught, Ida shucked her shoes, hiked up her skirt, and climbed. She found them asleep. Steve on his back, his left arm a pillow for her head. Lady Stanton curled on her side, head on his chest, her right hand holding Bucky's left. Young James snuggled in behind her. A feeling of dark foreboding overcame Ida. She gently woke each child and bade them come to dinner.

Asgard

Loki's dreams were tormented. The snowy forest was no longer there. For a long while, it had been replaced by battlefields. Now, a sunny meadow had taken its place. He recognized none of the children playing there, but the way the two boys looked at the girl sparked something hungry and dark inside him.

Against the tree, her eyes closed, she counted. The boys, playing a game familiar to Loki, ran to hide. The dark boy pulled the light boy into a barn and up a ladder. His eyes glittered with mirth and mischief," Next time we play, I say we have to kiss once we're found."Loki's soul raged at these words. "She's too smart for that. Besides, you can never catch her." the light boy teased.

As those thoughts haunted his nights, the missing Tesseract haunted his days. No one knew who, how, or when the artifact had gone missing from the weapons vault. It simply went missing. Odin, who was forestalling his Odin's Sleep, had placed Thor in charge of recovery while Loki had been charged with defense. It was now his job to ensure that whatever escaped Heimdall's notice into the Realm Eternal without permission would not be allowed to leave.

Tired, mind taxed to breaking with the spells necessary to create the Destroyer and the impenetrable shield Loki sought the refuge of sleep. Loki prayed for the snowy forest and the mystery girl. Instead, he got a memory.

Loki had been lying on his bed trying not to wrinkle his best attire. Thor had rushed into his room and announced the carriage had been spotted on the Rainbow Bridge. Loki allowed himself to be pulled down the hall by his brother. Loki was in no hurry, why should he be? It was just another girl to be waved before Thor. It mattered little that this one would rule her own realm someday. So what if she were beautiful. They were all beautiful and royals of some sort. This one just happened to have her own planet. Loki prepared himself inwardly to endure the forthcoming simpering, the flattery, the empty-headed conversations.

Their mother and father awaited the arrival of the foreign sovereigns as if greeting equals. This was more than passing strange. Loki took his place beside Thor. The doors opened and through them passed the small retinue of guards.They were finely dressed in the navy blue and ivory livery. The ceremonial armor a blinding silver. All of the elves of Alfheim were fair: hair, eyes, and skin. Their faces serious and elegant. Their movements graceful and efficient. One of their number bowed low before Odin and announced:

"Presenting their majesties. King Roran, Queen Octavia, and Princess Royal Nahvalia Talis Ja'Darehn. Light of the Nine. Keepers of the Sacred Peace. Rulers of Alfheim."

King Roran was tall, his frame wiry just as the others. He bowed slightly before Odin." Lord Odin, well-met. It has been far too long since last we were together." the man's voice resounded throughout the hall.

Odin and Frigga both stood, walked down the stairs and clasped hands with him in turn. "You are always welcomed in Asgard's halls, my friend." Odin smiled warmly.

The queens also greeted each other with the kindness of long familiarity and gently introduced their children. Thor, naturally, went first to greet the queen and princess. Loki feigned interest. Queen Octavia was introduced to Loki first. Loki was at once struck by her beauty. Queen Octavia's eyes were the deepest blue Loki had ever seen. Her hair was hidden beneath the cowl of her cloak, and strings of jewels dangled from her crown onto her forehead.

"Your Majesty." the Queen addressed him with all the formality and respect she had greeted his father. Loki adored her for that immediately. "Your mother tells me you are a practitioner of the arcane."

"Indeed, your Majesty. My mother is my instructor," he responded.

"On our realm, it is a requirement for the royal family to learn the arcane. Mayhap it will give you and Nahvalia something to discuss. Nahvie, darling, come here." the Queen beckoned.

Loki looked to the girl for the first time. Her cloak such a dark shade of blue , it could have passed for black. The relief on her face at having a reason to excuse herself from Thor was almost palpable. She exited the older prince's company with the practiced ease of an older woman and moved to her mother's side.

"Prince Loki, I would like you to meet Nahvalia, my daughter." the Queen spoke softly.

The Princess' touch was whisper soft as her hand glided, from his elbow along his forearm to his palm, in the way of sorcerers. "Well met Prince Magus. It is an honor." Her voice much like her touch.

"Prince Magus?" Loki inquired.

"Yes, your Grace. It is an honorific among our people, acknowledging both your station and experience with a complicated and delicate subject. It was not meant to offend." Nahvalia explained in quiet almost panic.

Loki smirked at the compliment, "My Lady, I am not offended by Prince Magus in the slightest. However, I request you never call me 'Your Grace' again."

"As Loki has none!" Thor's voice broke in boldly with a hated familiar jest.

Loki felt the blush rising up neck and face, a retort being readied when Nahvalia said," I am quite sure that cannot be the case, Prince Thor. It is widely known the grace, skill, and cunning of Prince Magus Loki know of no equal in the realm Eternal. It is a great and wise man who extols the virtues of his companions and their accomplishments whilst maintaining his own humility. It is a great strength among battle-hardened warriors."

Thor's brow furrowed in frustration and embarrassment," Commendable traits and words indeed, my Lady. I wonder who in your realm discussed the topic of war with a princess?"

"My father, of course, your Highness. As Princess Royal, I am sole heir to my father's holdings. It would reflect poorly if I were not trained in warfare. All should be aware of my capabilities and training in war as the future Keeper of the Sacred Peace." she answered mildly. Loki noticed a patronizing expression begin to steal its way onto her face.

"Surely my father is the Keeper of-" Thor began hotly.

"Son!" Odin's voice was sharp and angry. Loki started. He'd never heard his father speak in that voice, especially not to Thor." Do not presume to speak of that which you do not know." Odin's voice was quiet now, deadly so. Odin turned back to the visiting monarchs,"Please allows us to show you to your chambers. After such arduous travel, rest and refreshment are overdue."

In his dream, as in reality, the conversation following became not but white noise. Nahvalia had flipped her hood back and her face came clearly into view. Loki lost both his breath and heart in that moment. Her gaze was kind, intelligent, and captivating. She gave him a small smile and a brief nod before turning and joining her parents.

Loki woke with a start. His breathing heavy along with his soul. He cast his eyes around his room blindly as his mind sought desperately to catch fragments of a dream. Nothing came. He rose from his bed donning his robe and went to stand before the glass balcony doors. He watched the sky grow pale as the dawn came. He was surprised to find his cheeks wet as the sky turned from gray to blue. Why did that color cause him to weep, more to the point, he wondered: why could he not remember?


	6. Anguish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a/n: Your humble author does not like to do these often, but things to note here: lots of sad feelings. The address used within is not canon for either Steve or Bucky. However, it is a real place and is historically accurate. As always, thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day. ( You know, after you've read this, and I've hurt your feelings too)

Brooklyn, New York 1928

James was not a native New Yorker. He'd been born in Shelbyville, Indiana while his father, George, had gone to war. George had enlisted as soon as he was old enough. He had married his high school sweetheart, Winifred, the day he signed his enlistment contract. Bucky had been born nine months later. The war had ended when Bucky was just over a year old. George's orders had stationed him at Pine Camp. Unwilling to put his new bride and young son through life on a tiny Army post, he left them in her sister Ida's care on 3rd Street in Brooklyn. He wasn't happy to be missing out on priceless milestones in his son's life, but James was fed, cared for. That was the important part. It became doubly so when they were joined by Rebecca five years later.

They saw each other on weekends. Five year old Rebecca trailing after her father and beloved older brother. George tried to catch up on various and sundry chores and maintenance and taught Bucky as much as he could with the time they had. George was a mechanic for the Army during times of peace. He was proud of Bucky and told him so often. Just as he assured Becca she was his little angel. They were in the middle of repairing the car when Rebecca ran crying incoherently from the house.

George caught her in his arms, worry plaguing every inch of his face," Honey, are you alright? Are you hurt?" His eyes searched over his beloved daughter searching desperately for the source of her distress. He cradled her to his chest feeling helpless and small, unable to stop her tears.

"M-m-m-m-mo....." she tried for words. They wouldn't form. They caught in her throat, strangling her, mocking her cruelly, preventing her from getting help.

Bucky stared furtively. His eyes settling briefly on one then the other unable to discern what was going on. He watched Rebecca try to pull away from their father only to fall despairingly back against his chest. Clinging to his comfort. George refusing to relinquish his sobbing child from his embrace.

That was when realization struck him. She had run from the house and Mom hadn't come out....

Fear clenched at Bucky's heart and stirred him into recalcitrant motion toward a door. He wanted with every fiber of his being not to be doing this. His father, who stood clutching a defenseless agonized daughter to him, had said: the true measure of a man, is not that he doesn't fear. It's that he doesn't run away. Bucky looked back at his father protecting his sister from an unknown assailant and trembling, opened the back door.  
She laid on the floor like a broken toy. Lifeless. Still.   
Bucky stood statue still for a full breath not knowing what to do. With startling alacrity, he ran to the only source of help that came to mind. Steve.  
He pounded on the door he had long since knew was open. Faces as familiar as those he'd just fled appeared before them. He saw the words form on their mouths, yet could not hear them. "My mom," he gasped at Steve, holding back a scream," my mom....floor.....help."

A flurry of activity happened in the background. He felt the rush of air, as someone ran to help Winifred. Bucky's eyes could only focus on the terrified face of his friend. Steve's face was full of pity and concern. A cold, black thing was growing in Bucky's head. He had no name for what it was, but it scared him. Terrified him. Broke his heart. The only thing saving him was that face swimming in the tears in his eyes. "My mom....." he shuddered." My mom..." Bucky broke.

The ambulance was stopped outside of their building. Upstairs in their tiny apartment, Bucky's mom was trying to die and Steve's mom was refusing to let her go. Outside on the low brick fence George, Bucky, Rebecca, and Steve took small comfort in not surviving this alone. Numb. Bereft. Wordless pain shared between. No thought toward what needed doing. There was only one thing: praying. Each sat bargaining silently with a being they were quickly losing faith in. Each asking the same mute question: what will it cost me God, for you not to take her today?

It felt like an eternity had passed for each of them. Not one of them welcomed the peace that stole over them. No one accepted the answer they were given. Not one of them were grateful in that moment that she was forever free of pain. The need of her, the want of her, the loss of her was too strong. Not one of them had remembered to call Ida either.

Ida and Sasha had spent the day being amused, baffled and astonished by Ashton. They had done as she requested and had the finest private institutions within 15 miles come to interview her. It surprised everyone when they discovered it was decidedly the other way around. Ashton was going to be a doctor. Not wanted to be. Going to be. The teachers sent to test young Lady Stanton's knowledge came away with unmitigated examples of her knowledge of ethics, philosophy, mathematics. English, grammar, science, and most surprising, religion. For all intents and purposes, it seemed Lady Stanton was Buddhist. She could ably discourse on the subjects of Lao Tzu, Socrates, Machiavelli, and in several different languages.

At eight years of age she was no savant, she was a phenomenon. She did not request the ability to attend the school, she inquired about their ability to send her to college. Not just any college either. Miss Ashton Stanton required attendance to Harvard or Columbia. Which ever possessed the best medical education. When they attempted to scoff and dismiss her, Ashton proceeded to level human anatomy at them. Unable to make a substantial argument against it, they instead made promises to attempt to gain her admittance. Ashton took no pride in her victory. She felt a pull in her heart, something she hadn't felt since...Loki. Someone - someones- she loved were in vast amounts of pain. She dismissed them in a manner that left them feeling superior . All the better, she surmised. She refused to let Ida go home alone. She knew she could do nothing for the newly rendered pain from that distance .   
They rounded the corner as the fully sheeted figure was brought out.   
Ashton had no shield from their grief . A cacophony of sorrow snatched and tore at her heart. She felt each one in exacting clarity. The loss of family from Ida, the carefully concealed body burning the known loss in her mind. The loss of comfort as unconsciousness claimed sweet Becca in remorse for failure.  
George struck motionless and crippled with the loss of his true love. The complete heart sickness, a will snatching outcry of utter despair.  
Bucky's soul robbing hurt of the loss of his mom. The guilt of surviving something so natural, yet profoundly unfair. The heart cry of Steve, who had been in Bucky's place years before. The reminder of how badly he'd hurt when they had lost Joseph. Unable to staunch the wound, rendered useless.  
Sarah, working not just on her pain's only behalf, but to spare Steve the added burden of the collective wound. Ashton prepared to gather it to her, ready to accept the weight.   
Ida rushed from the car. She pulled each of them to her, taking the weight Ashton was set to bear. Ida gave them motivation to live on   
"Dear heart, I know this is hard." She told young Rebecca, looking deep into pain numbed young eyes. " You must bear up with courage and strength. She would want you to."

She turned on Bucky, who was clasped in Steve's arms. Steve glared balefully, but stayed quiet. "You must be the glue now. Shed what tears your soul says you must. Then recover, for your sister and father have need of you." Steve gathered what he could of Bucky. Together, they cajoled Rebecca out of her father's arms. Ash attempted to remain behind. Ida's eyes slashed in her direction.

"You know what hurt is. Learn what it should be." 

Nahvalia was cut to the core by these words. This is what she'd surrendered for, what she'd bled to learn. Yet, there she stood as raw and wounded as the rest. Unable to form thoughts or articulate through the pain. She walked behind them, the silent witness, the quiet watcher. Bucky, Becca, and Steve wrapped each in a cocoon of sorrow. 

This is why my people join with Watchers, she thought. Because the hurt won't touch you there. She watched as their grief folded them on one another. Bundled them together in solidarity of denial of pain. Togetherness in the hope of denial. She settled herself on the couch. She would watch them this night. Ease what sleep they could wrest in the face of their anguish and catch them when their sanity faltered.


	7. Revisions

In the wake of Winifred's sudden passing, the rearing of Rebecca and Bucky fell to Ida. George had debated taking his children with him, but Ida staunchly resisted the idea. They had friends here, a support system, familiarity. They did not have to explain their sadness to anyone here. Did he truly want them reliving that moment to satisfy a stranger's curiosity? George understood her argument and as much as it pained him he left them with her.

Ashton conceived a plan. Immediately after the tragedy, she had insisted Ida and her charges come stay with her. She had more than enough room and she hated the idea of them reimagining that horrible image day after day. A week had passed and the relocation seemed to be helping them begin to heal. Ashton was more than sympathetic to what they were feeling. She proceeded without further delay.

It was early on a Saturday. Bucky and Rebecca still asleep. Ida was in the kitchen telling Sasha what was needed in the way of groceries. Ashton struck," Miss Sasha, Miss Ida I have a proposition that I believe to be mutually beneficial to us all."

Sasha and Ida exchanged a glance between them before turning to the girl. "What do have in mind, child?" Sasha asked. Sasha dealt in business on behalf of Lady Halley and now Ashton. As young as Ashton was her business acumen was shrewd and savvy. Sasha ceased balking at her when she had offered these kinds of suggestions. 

"Ida, Bucky, and Rebecca move in here. Everyone transfers to Chapin." 

Ida gasped. Sasha and Ashton ignored her, "I see the logic behind moving them here. However, I'm unsure they'll meet the criteria necessary to attend Chapin." 

"Now you see here-" Ida snapped jumping to Bucky and Becca's defense.

"We have several months to prepare them." Ashton reasoned over Ida's protestations.

"What about George?" Sasha countered.

"We'll talk with him. This will save expenses for everyone and we have room for him when he visits as well. This very well could ease his mind during his week long absences." Ashton replied ending her portion of the deliberation. 

"Shall I employ a tutor?" Sasha asked.

"We shall see. Allow us time to see what can be accomplished without one. Bucky isn't overly fond of instructors." Ashton wore a wry half smile. She looked to Ida, a modicum of chagrin crossing her features, "That is of course if you find this amenable?" Ida nodded, slowly, mutely.

Sasha nodded in conclusion and Ashton retired to the music room. It would be time for her piano lesson soon. In this, as well as most things she did, she possessed a talent. Sasha returned her attention to Ida, a bewildered expression on her face. "What?" 

"What indeed! A child just rearranged my life, and you stood by watching."

Sasha offered a slight shrug, "She is an unusual child. I fail to see why you seem so shocked by this. She's very observant and this will solve many issues for all of you."

"That isn't the point! She's a child, Sasha. She shouldn't have the capability to even think of such things. Let alone have the wherewithal to have found the solution! She needs to be thinking about tea parties and dolls, not housing a mourning family! What in Heaven's name has the child been put through?" Ida was mortified by the possibilities.

Sasha collected herself before she spoke," According to the letter preceding her arrival, her parents were killed on a peacekeeping mission. Lady Halsford had passed the month before. Ashton was forced to make the arrangements for their return and burial. She was sent to us because the barrister recalled how fondly Lady Stanton remembered us. He wrote that while Ashton appeared unaffected, she had matured far too quickly for his liking. It was his hope we could help her heal the wounds."

"Sweet Mary, Mother of God." Ida crossed herself, tears swimming in her eyes.

"I'm also told that Halley was responsible for the raising of the child because of her parents dedication to missionary work. If she seems old it would be because her only exposure to life has been at the side of an eighty or ninety-year-old woman." Sasha took a breath. "Now, if you're quite finished wasting my time, I'll have the rest of the grocery list. As you know I have to see about moving your belongings, negotiating the move with George, contact Chapin School about enrollments, and find a tutor we may or may not need."

Ida blinked up at her," But Ashton said...."

"Ashton is adept at a great many things, but I refuse to place the burden of educating other children on the shoulders of an eight year old." Sasha allowed her displeasure a voice.

In the end Ash got her way and a little extra. Steve was spending so much time at the Stanton house, Ash gave him a room as well. Sarah had been hesitant to accept the kindness, but was convinced not only by the the argument that Steve had access to a better education, better doctors and round the clock care should he fall ill, but the five pairs of puppy dog eyes and whining cries of 'plleeeeeeaaasssseeee!'.Steve would stay with them during the week and visit during the weekend. It also came to Ash's attention that Sarah was a nurse. Ashton followed behind Sarah like a faithful hound whenever afforded the opportunity. The tutor was needed as well.

A comfortable routine fell into place at Stanton House in a surprisingly short period of time. Monday through Friday the tutor came for Bucky and Becca between the hours of eight in the morning and left at noon. Ashton and Steve attended school. When they returned, homework was done in the library and then they were allowed to play. Baseball, tag, and hide-n-go seek were the order of they day as they all waited for school to let out. George enjoyed his weekends, as he was made to feel valuable. Sasha and Ida would find various chores or repairs to keep him occupied. He and Bucky maintained the cars used by the household staff. 

The summer felt long overdue. Steve wanted to spend it with his mother, Bucky refused to let him go alone. So that summer they headed back to Bay Ridge, found odd jobs and could afford their frequent trips to Coney Island. Becca stayed with Ashton. Their summer was filled ballets, operas, and theater. When Becca mentioned an interest in learning ballet, Sasha was dispatched to find an instructor.  
When she asked if Ashton would be joining her, Sasha was treated to a solitary pale eyebrow rising from its usual position of rest. " Why would I have need of that skill? I am able to waltz. That is sufficient." The subject of Ashton's dance skills was not broached again.


	8. Dispossession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a/n: fighting, pain, language. Blood. Everyone lives though. yay

Manhattan, New York October 1934

Ashton had decided to attend Columbia University when she graduated. She started her campaign with charm and a great deal of money. She had encouraged the others to seek out their destinations for higher learning with her. The city was beginning to recover from the calamity of the Depression. It hadn't really affected those at Stanton House. Sasha and Ashton had averted most of the damages. Ashton took little credit, the warning had come from her guardians. She thought wistfully of what could have - should have- been her life in the months that followed. Ashton did not want any of them to live without, but she'd also witnessed what became of people when robbed of their pride. She had no qualms with them all staying with her for the rest of their lives. However, she knew not a damn one of them would do so.

She double checked the new list of texts she would need to read before handing the list off to Sasha for procurement. "Everyone ready?" Bucky called, taking his plate to the sink and grabbing his satchel and heading for the door. He had obtained the privilege of driving everyone to school once he had reached sixteen. He told them it was a chore, but he reveled in the freedom.

The day had started normally enough. They had parked and Becca ran to go meet her friends. Bucky had sauntered off to converse with his teammates after biding Steve and Ash to stay out of trouble. Ordinarily, this was a joke. Neither Steve nor Ash had a tendency to trouble, rather the contrary. They were not paying any special heed to the others around them, this was a mistake.

A voice from the rear left of the pair started yelling 'Hey!' in a crowd of people. Ash had been in mid sentence cajoling Steve to consider art school when her upper arm was grabbed from behind. She froze.

Ashton was not comfortable with contact, especially when it was unexpected. On Asgard, it was considered treason. She was Princess Royal, as such only Odin, Frigga, Thor and Loki were permitted. Her own parents had allowed over three hundred years to pass after they'd left her there. The royal family of Asgard was not to be confused with "huggy" people. She had never encouraged Constance to indulge in physical displays of affection. Now, she either spent her time with young teenage boys or poor Becca, who was afraid of breaking her. Touch was unfamiliar to her, the result, she didn't want it unless she started it.

Cold disapproval marked her face as her head slowly pivoted to look down her nose at the offender. She looked from his hand up to his smirking face in silent indignation. A boy, far older and larger than the irate fourteen-year-old, continued to feed her inner fire in ignorance.

"Hey! I was talking to you. You should learn better manners. Why don't you come over here with me and the fellas? We're much better company than the runt you're with."

Steve had never seen her with this look before. Her eyes, usually a placid icy mix of blue and gray, were purple. He felt the tension in her motionless body, could see the thoughts forming the words she had yet to say. This was not going to go well, he thought. He tried diplomacy, "Hey, please take your hand from my friend. Why don't you head back to your friends and we'll act like this never happened." Steve watched the crowd gather from his peripheral.

The offender pulled Ash closer to him causing her to stumble into him. Her expression grew icier, he had not thought it were possible. "She's going to stay right where I want her. There ain't a damn thing you're going to do about it either."

Steve's brow met in righteous indignation, his own eyes becoming a darker enraged blue. He dropped his bag, "She doesn't like or need to be manhandled. Let the girl go."

The delinquent's smile was insolent as he looked back to his friends. Had he turned the other way he'd have seen Bucky closing distance with speed. "Oh yeah?Maybe that's because no man has handled her." he taunted, still facing his buddies," What are you going to do about it?" Steve's response was a punch to his face.

The malefactor lost his grip on Ashton to clutch his nose. Her reflexes remembered, if her mind hadn't, to jump immediately to Steve's side and out of the way. Her mind whirling and her body shaking from the surprise assault. Steve readied himself to take her away and bent to recover their bags. The coward took that moment to shove him to the ground and proceeded to start kicking. He connected with Steve once. Bucky had arrived. Bucky used every ounce he had in a brutally well- executed flying tackle, driving his target to the ground. He said nothing as he unleashed blind hate upon his target with every punch's forward swing. It wasn't long before blood was visible.

Coherent thought fought its way back into Ash's head. She herded Steve to Becca then went to retrieve Bucky. She had finally recognized the murderous intent and had to stop him. Faculty had noticed the crowd and were making their way to the scene.

"Bucky ! Bucky, stop," she demanded desperately. She was tugging on the arm holding the bleeding boy to the ground. "Bucky, that's enough!" It was Bucky's coach, however, who got him to stop.   
The coach and Ash each maintained a hold of his arms as three other teachers took his victim to the nurse.

Bucky's breath was hard and fast. Ashton was still shaking, she rested her head against his shoulder, begging for it to subside. He looked down. She was touching him! On her own! It shocked him back to normalcy. Carefully, he put his arm around her and held her until the shaking stopped. She looked up at him, the purple fading haltingly from her eyes. She smiled, he returned it.

"Mr. Barnes. La- Miss Stanton. To my office now." the headmaster insisted from the direction of the school.

"Yes, sir." they answered in tandem, collecting their bags as they went.

Bucky was expelled. No explanation or description of what had occurred was going to change that. Not even Ashton's threat to cease donations. The boy that had grabbed her was a Blackwell. The same Blackwell's who had once owned what was now known as Roosevelt Island. Before they had sold it had been Blackwell Island. The irony was not lost on Ash. It galled her deeply to think the little shit could get away with something like this while Bucky was discarded. The purple was gradually returning.

" He should, at the very least, be suspended and forced to make a public apology. He assaulted me in public. Attempted to degrade me before my peers, the same should be said of his remorse." came the imperious demand. The headmaster's eyes opened and closed, much like an owl, for an uncomfortable amount of time.

Ashton rolled her eyes, "I see. Well, you have an issue here because that altercation was quite public. Everyone present is sure to go home and tell their parents. So it would seem you are left with few options: either be seen as a headmaster who allows unruly behavior in a joint gender environment and is permissive to the assault and abuse of the innocent young women of Manhattan. Or the headmaster with the fortitude to see what is right is done. Oh, and you without tenure in a voting year. I know my assistant will look forward to your decision. I know I do." Her smile in parting bordered on tyrannical. "Oh. " she hissed from the door without turning back, "We will be taking Mr. Rogers with us as well. He may be in need of medical attention."

As Bucky walked between Steve and Ash, he sketched a glance down at her. Her current pace was not so much walking as it was marching. She was not stomping her displeasure at the ground. If he were honest, it looked more like... stretching. His eyes widened in surprise. She was feeling violent! He met Steve's worried look with one of his own : we have no frame of reference. Make her stop!

"Hey, Ash?" Bucky asked, "Are you late for something?"

"I seek vindication."

"Uhh... Ash..." he frowned in question at Steve, who gave him a clueless look and shook his head.

" I will see Mr. Blackwell and tell him personally of his child's actions of the day." her smile was malevolent.

Bucky's eyes widened in surprise, he noted a similar expression on Steve's. "You realize that isn't wise, right?"

She halted momentum so quickly they almost tripped on her. "I will have satisfaction." she hissed.

"What are you going to do? You know dueling is illegal, right?"

"I am not going to request a duel. You've beaten him badly enough already. No, I want my apology. I want his father to know what he's doing when he's unsupervised. "

Bucky ran to stand in front of her, "At least let me drive you." She nodded in response and followed him to the car.

Mr. Blackwell turned out to be a reasonable man. He listened with rapt attention to Ash's retelling of the day's events. She told it accurately. Even the drubbing Bucky had given him. Mr. Blackwell didn't applaud Bucky, but he didn't rebuke him either. Mr. Blackwell offered his own apology to Ashton and requested they all stay until his son returned home.

The whining commenced before the boy had shut the door. The story he told, of course, resembled Ashton's in almost no way. The look of shock on the younger Blackwell's face would have made her laugh under different circumstances. Mr. Blackwell demanded Ashton receive her due reparation. He also wanted to ensure such a thing would never happen again. Mr. Blackwell was having his son sent to another school: boys only. It wasn't a perfect resolution but Ashton took what she could.

Bucky was quietly grateful. Not to have to go back to that place, listen to Ashton's nagging over homework, and he had never seen the point. He was prepared to go to work, anticipated it. He could not move forward though without having a question answered.

Bucky let days pass before he caught her unaware and alone.

Becca was dancing and Steve was with his mother. Ida was in the kitchen garden and Sasha wasn't around on Saturdays. Ashton had a routine for every day. On Saturday she would take a feed sack bag, load it with books, take something to gnaw on, and spend the day up a tree. Well, their tree, the willow by the paddock where they'd spent their first day together. He looked on from a doorway as she carefully picked over and debated which of the books she'd had Sasha obtain for her earlier. Once she was satisfied she made her way to her destination. Bucky left through the front door, no one could know he'd followed her if he wanted the truth from her.

Ashton was thoroughly consumed in a text describing various surgical techniques. She had taken no notice of Bucky as he climbed the tree and settled himself in the hammock near her. He gave her several moments before he cleared his throat and broke her concentration. She tore her eyes away from her book and took in his. Bucky had a brief hesitation, should he ask? Yes.

"Ash? You had a... frail... moment... at the school the other day. I need to know why. " there was an implication of more, but it was either too much or too mean.

" I hate violence and my tra-" Her eyes became shocked circles with the utterance of these words.

"No. You don't get a pass on this one. You better fucking start talking, Stanton. I have to know." Bucky's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Ashton took a stalling breath as she carefully edited what she was going to say, "Before I came here...I had friends. We ...had martial training. I was competent, but it ...doesn't suit me. I get... ill. That isn't the problem. That occurs after. " her face turned scarlet and she closed her book.

"What do you mean?" he scoffed.

"I mean I can be moved to violence. I was very well trained and was dedicated to these studies. I had no natural aptitude, but it was needful to be accomplished to satisfy my family. Therefore, when I am moved thusly I require bloodshed. Death. It's a sickness regarding my- my family. We aren't supposed to be moved in that manner. It causes a kind of sickness. I chose not to indulge the darker side of the soul. It's ugly and shameful." she addressed her feet.

Bucky could see the truth through the lie. He didn't call her out right away. He entrapped her chin in his left hand tenderly and looked at her, now, green eyes. "Halsford Ashton Nahvalia Stanton, do not lie to me." He watched her lower lip tremble.

Tears leaked from her eyes, she let them, "Bucky I can't tell you this. "

"Why?" he demanded.

She met his eyes and let the disguise go. She appeared as she had last known herself to look, an adolescent light elf. Old enough to wed, but not fully developed. Her five hundred-year-old eyes looked into his as she said. " I will not give you secrets to keep from Steve. Someday I will have reason to tell you the truth. I know I cannot stop them from coming for me eventually. Until then, please, allow me to harbor my secret."

Bucky took a breath. He had a thousand questions, but satisfied himself with one," You promise you'll tell me?"She didn't answer with words. She nodded as she threw herself into the comfort of his arms.


	9. Wounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: warnings: language. NSFW!!!!! +18. b/b. vomit. death. arguments. SMUT. The warnings are listed for reasons, please heed them. Should you choose to do so, thank you. Should you choose not to, thank you. Have a wonderful day! Your Humble Author.

Manhattan, NY June 1937

After leaving education in the past tense, Bucky moved in with Sarah. He'd found work on the docks and moving back to the tenement meant a fifteen-minute commute on foot. Sarah was grateful for the extra help around the house and secretly joyed not to be returning to an empty home.

Sure, Bucky missed his friends and his sister, but at nineteen he'd begun developing other interests. Like redheads. Brunettes were nice. And the blondes ! But the redheads, oh Lordy, the redheads! Now at twenty, he was debating the merits of each. Their curves the rouged lips and charming giggles. He smiled to himself thinking about how Becca was perfecting that and how Ash never made that sound. The young lady he was meeting later tonight, Dot, had a pretty little giggle and she deployed it often. He left a note for Mrs. Rogers so she knew where he'd gone and when he'd return. His time at Ash's had left a dent of polite courtesy. 

Steve was packing his suitcase when Ash knocked at the door carrying an armload of his clean clothes. He was headed back to his mother's for the summer. This marked a bittersweet occasion as she wouldn't be joining them this time. Ash would be attempting to test out of high school to begin her pursuit of a surgical medical degree. Steve was looking forward to being with Sarah and Bucky, the relief from Ash describing in loving detail the alumni of Columbia, and a decent apple pie. Not that Ida's were bad, he just wanted one without the crumbly topping for once. He smiled at her and took his clothes. She patted his shoulder awkwardly and departed. Steve's smile grew wider, coming from her it, that had been a hug!

That summer felt to both boys as if it were passing too quickly. Work consumed the daytime hours of the week. While Coney Island beach or the amusement parks claimed their weekends. Either was a good choice because of girls. They rarely saw Sarah and when they did she gave them the Ash update. Yes, she had graduated early. She had applied to attend Columbia in the fall. An exception could be made due to her preparedness and the thesis she had written for entry.

Steve turned seventeen that summer. His interests took a different turn from Bucky's . The Irish accents he'd grown up around were becoming hard to find the closer one moved to Manhattan. But, oh gods, English accents. He hadn't put thought into why, but every one he heard had a vague blond head when pictured in his mind before voice met actual face. They were all just so difficult to talk to! When he was with Ash, she'd....No, that thought was better left unfinished.

Late July 1937 

It came upon them unexpectedly. Sarah had made breakfast: eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns. A red herring she was up to something. The boys were roused by their appetites rather than adequate rest. Sarah waited to drop the news until their plates were full and they wouldn't be moved from them. "Alright, young men, you'd best enjoy this weekend, as it's your last." It was due to several factors she got the response she did. They were still half asleep. Mostly, it was the food.

"Aw, Mom." Steve tried with the puppy dog eyes.

"No, sir. Ashton is sending a car Monday morning so we can have you properly prepared for school for once. Bucky, you'll be needed as well. She has a task for you. I will need you looking like gentlemen again. There is to be a garden party next Friday." she told them in her mom's voice.

"Mrs. Rogers, are you sure we'll be safe with her? Ya know she might try to kill us with her ties and snotty friends. " Bucky tried gamely.

"You know she's applied to Columbia. This could be the last time you boys get to spend any time with her. She's getting a medical degree." Sarah spoke with pride. 

"Momma, are you sure? She's so much younger than they are. It's supposed to be boys only." Steve reasoned.

"Son, I've spent weekends and summers with the young lady and I can promise you she's probably read more medical texts than that darned Dr. Jacobsen. She has overpaid me so you can get good clothes and proper supplies without her charity. She's lending us a car. You boys will be there. You will act as gentlemen, and you will be good friends to a young lady who is deserving of it. Am I clear?" she finished with her hands on her hips.

"Yes ma'am." they intoned morosely

It wasn't that they disliked spending time with Ash, it was more the summer they were leaving behind. Steve and Bucky intended to live those forty-eight hours as if they were their last. Together they decided to do the unthinkable: ask Ashton to join them. Poor kid, she had no idea what she was leaving behind. She hadn't given herself a chance to live!

She had paid to have a telephone installed at Sarah's house. That way if Steve wished to go home, or she was worried they could call. Steve was elected over rock, paper, scissors to be the one doing the inviting.

"Hello?" 

"Ida! It's Steve. Is Ashton available?" he asked half-way hoping she'd be up the tree. 

"Yes. You caught her before she went out. Just a moment, Dear." Ida handed Ash the phone, returning to her custard.

"Hello?" If this was Ash, her voice had changed. It was a sensual sounding, unfamiliar thing.

"Ash?"

"Hello, Steven. I was headed out." She offered a light laugh, "As you no doubt guessed to you know where. Is everything alright?"

He cleared his throat, the room had suddenly grown closer and changed degrees,"I-I mean, we wanted to know if you're busy today?"

"No busier than usual. Is there some accommodation you're in need of?" she asked casually

Bucky growled in annoyance. He plucked the phone from Steve's hand," You want more than a week, Stanton. That's more than we agreed to. You've got to give. " he watched the horror creep over Steve's face and began to run with his discomfort.

A pause, "Alright Barnes. What?"

"You have to go to the Island with us or no deal." Steve looked as if he was suffering apoplexy. Steve's mother gave him more to work with. She realized what he was doing. She didn't just give him approval. Encouragement, that's what she offered before turning away.

"You know.."she started.

" You do this. We've accepted no every time but this time is different. You didn't throw Steve a party and this is my time and you're asking me to give it up to go play with you, babies." The smirk grew as he delivered words he had no idea he was going to say.

In Bucky's head : Ashton dropped her bag and suppressed a growl. A frown creased the forehead. Her hand trailed to the top of a newsboy hat in unconscious denial. Her hand would run down the quick length of her face, exasperated by the waste of her time. Her mind giving no ready weapon to refuse the request. She would be stuck.

In Steve's head: she constantly monitored the emotions on her face. She was hard to read. Her hands would attempt to fight the longing her left eyebrow betrayed, swipe the thrill at being invited from her mouth in an attempt to appear unaffected. She would try for neutral expression before she answered. She would close her eyes so no one could read how she truly felt. Between them, they hit every one. 

She sighed," That was for three garden parties."

"You are absolutely right, Stanton. You will have to watch a game with us. Without a book." 

"Have you gone outside? We are in a heat wave, Barnes," she told him dryly.

"It's July, Ashton. It's a month known for being hot. 'Sides, we aren't having our greatest season, so you'll pay up next year." 

"Does that mean you'll come?" Steve asked loudly at the receiver.

It was a stretch for Bucky, but he did it anyway. "Do you yield to all aspects of the contract as negotiated thus far?" Steve fell apart with laughter at Bucky's spot on impersonation of Ashton.

Bucky heard her choke before she answered," Ya got a deal, Barnes. Spit shake?" She had answered in a very Bucky manner.

"Sure, kid. We'll see you in an hour."

 

Ashton's mind went deviously clever after disconnecting the call. She was 'newly' seventeen, she couldn't maintain the twelve-year-old boy disguise any longer. She'd altered her appearance over the month she'd been alone, once again looking appropriate for her age. They wanted to drag her to Coney Island? She was going to make them remember this trip. She changed from her jeans into something more fitting and joined the drivers for the trip.

A knock at the door came five minutes before a full hour had passed. Three faces greeted her at the door. Sarah pulled the girl into a hug without reservation. Steve and Bucky caught a brief vision of blond and gray before Sarah had moved. As she stepped back, they were treated to the vision standing in the entryway. Ashton stood before them smiling and she gave them each a small hug. Ashton had changed. No more would she be passing as a boy.

Her dress - yes, she wore a dress- was dove gray. Large black buttons closed and decorated the front. She wore heels which only accentuated her delicate ankles and calves. Lordy, thought Bucky, I missed all this?! Steve merely stared, as if in awe. 

Ashton stood in the hallway her eyebrows gradually began climbing up her forehead as Steve and Bucky continued gawking at her. "Surely you've seen teenage girls before. You did, after all, spend your summer at the beach." a wry smile painting her mouth.

"Not with anything as lovely as you,"Steve answered with a familiar sideway smile. Steve could always talk with or to Ashton, and because of her, he knew the difference. She was beautiful to him, had always been so. To him though she was perceived out of his league. He could talk to her her, sure, but she was untouchable by birth.

Not just because she was royalty, she was Ash! Too bookish by far to be one of those girls. The girls who danced. She was the girl who took Plato to baseball games. Steve felt a form of remorse for the poor guy who took a real shine to Ashton. He'd never be able to talk to keep up the conversation! Then his eyes fell on Bucky. Bucky was looking at her like he'd never seen her before 

In truth, Bucky had long ago filed Ash into his 'Unfortunate' file. As in, she was nice but unfortunately looked like a boy. Yeah, she had a ton of money and carried a royal title. Unfortunately, all she wanted to do was climb trees and read books. She hated touching; that meant you didn't touch your cute girl. That wasn't gonna go over well. Maybe someday maturity would strike her, but by the time it did the Ice Queen would be too old for it to matter.

Ashton was unequivocally not an unfortunate anymore! She had curves where real girls had them. And where had all that hair come from? Were her eyes blue? Or gray? He stood feasting his eyes on her until her level of exasperation met its mark. She turned sustinctly on a heel to make her way to the car.

Steve took a brief second to gloat, chuckling at Bucky as he patted his back, "Way to go! Made your second best friend mad without a word. Don't worry though. I won't tell anyone you embarrassed yourself with the most eligible bachelorette in Manhattan. Your reputation with the ladies is safe with me." Steve took another moment to laugh.

Bucky kept his face neutral as his stomach twisted inside. He knew why he preferred and rejected blondes. He thought as he watched her flee. I know why he favors British girls...It's the closest to a dream girl. THE dream girl. Our dream girl...is going to go home if we don't stop her. He bolted out the door after her. He reached the car before she'd closed the door. 

"Ash, wait. I'm sorry, it's just...you don't look like you anymore. I was shocked. I took it bad. Please, come back upstairs. If you leave like this, Steve'll never let me live it down." he explained, leaning on the open door.

"You promise not to stare at me rather than mind your manners and invite me into the house?" she answered, a bit of pique remaining in her voice.

"Is that was this about? I didn't invite you inside?" he wet his lips before smirking down at her. " Kid, I'll carry you into the house if you'll stop bein' mad at me."

"Thank you but a hand out of the car will suffice." 

"So what is this special job you have for me?" he asked before he kissed the back of her hand.

She blushed, " I would like you all to spend the week with me."

"A week of shopping." he groaned as they climbed the stairs. Steve and Sarah had returned to their breakfasts. Ashton poured a cup of coffee for herself and gave Bucky a chance to resume his meal. 

"Not exactly." She paused and considered them over the rim of her cup. "I've made several decisions over the course of the summer and I'm moving to Manhattan."

"What?" all three of them asked in unison.

"Dear heavens. Did the three of you form a trio in my absence?" she joked lamely.

"What do you mean 'moving to Manhattan'?" Bucky demanded.

"When do you start?" Sarah asked.

"What exactly-", Steve began, then looked at his mother, "You knew about this?" his brows meeting in question.

Ashton held up her hands,"Sarah has been assisting me with my medical education. I'm sure she's kept you up to date about my doings academically. Planning developers have conveyed an interest in the property and have offered a substantial amount of money for it. Knowing what they wish to do, I've decided to take them up on it. School, for those of us still attending, is in Manhattan. So, I will need to buy another home, and I'd like all of you to help me."

Bucky was angry and hurt. He left the table in silence. Sarah reached over and took Ash's hand, "Oh Sweetheart! I'm so proud of you! I would love to help you, but ..."

"No buts, Mrs. Rogers. I'm going to pay you for your time. I need you all more than you will ever know. It represents so much more to me than just a silly trip. If you don't come with me I'm not sure I'll have the strength to go." Ash's eyes were thick with unshed tears.

"What about us, Ash? That's our home too! You're selling it without even telling us it was happening. What about Becca and George? And Columbia. Ash, that's a male-only university! You'll be bullied terribly and we won't be there to protect you. You'll be alone." Steve said brokenly.

"No, I won't! I'll visit weekends and Sasha says we can find a house on the west side big enough for all of us. I need all of you to help me so you know where I am. It's just as much your home as it is mine. I won't leave you. You're my family." she whispered the words, no longer able to withhold the tears.

"Okay." Steve said, "Okay." He rose from the table leaving his mother to comfort his girl best friend while he went to persuade his boy best friend this was the right idea. He joined Bucky in their shared bedroom.

"Buck, go back to the kitchen. We are going to help her find a house."

"The hell I will!" Bucky retorted hotly. "She's trying to leave us behind. I'm not giving her a buy on this. 'Cause isn't okay. What the hell does she need to leave Brooklyn for anyway? So what they have a plan for her house, it ain't like she needs any more fucking money!"

"Bucky, you need to listen to me."

"Why, huh? So she's read too many damned books. She still learned how to climb trees at that house. So she can graduate early. Doesn't mean she gets the right to tell us where we can or can't live. That's our house! That's her home. Jesus, Steve! What about Becca and Dad? What about her horses? No. No, she has no right to do this to us. She has no reason to do this to herself. I'm not going to fucking let her." Bucky was practically shouting in Steve's face.

"Buck, she wants us to live with her. She wants it to be our home too."

"That's just great. " Bucky spat harshly.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah."

"What'd I say?"

"You said she wants us to live with her."

"So why not help her pick it out? You're mad she didn't involve you, but that's exactly what she's trying to do." Steve asked taking a seat on the other bed to face his friend.

"Do you know when this is happening?" Bucky demanded.

"No."

"She won't give us any details, so why bother? She could fall in love with Manhattan, buy an entire fucking block, put a wall around it and we'd never see her again." Bucky hissed.

Steve's shoulders drooped in acknowledgment. "Yeah, that's possible, but-" he straightened, moved to sit beside Bucky. " It's only possible if we don't help her. If we don't do this, I promise she'll have no reason to come back. We are all the family she has, Buck. She's a kid, just like you and me. Only she's heading off to a male only school with no friends to protect her from harm. We need to help her do this so she feels loved and safe. If we don't do this we will have failed the girl who has helped our families when we needed it most. She needs to know she has a family to run to if she needs it, no matter what. She would do that and more if the situation were reversed."

Bucky scoffed," Why does she need us to tell her that? Ash is a smart girl. Smarter than you and I put together. She don't need a couple of poor boys from Brooklyn helpin' her buy a house. She's proven she can do that on her own. If she ain't figured out we care, she's a damn stupid girl." 

"I've always needed a couple of boys from Brooklyn to make sure I stayed humble. I've always needed my friends beside me. I think we can also safely acknowledge, I'm not a damn, stupid girl. Don't you want to know where I am? In case I forget to write or visit? If you don't come you won't know where to go to break my fingers for making you worry? Or what happens when the bullying starts? Don't you want to have the address so I can be your alibi when you give him the beating?" Ashton moved from the doorway to stand behind Bucky. She wavered hardly at all before twining her fingers in his hair. She had seen Winifred and Sarah do this to both boys when they were upset. She knew he loved and hated it, but it helped calm him. 

"Look, Manhattan is going to be lonely and hard, but I've got to do this. I have to know my two best friends are with me , no matter how much they don't like it. Please, Buck?" Ashton moved to kneel in front of him giving him puppy dog eyes.

"I hate it when you do that." Bucky groaned

Ashton's smile was radiant," Brilliant! I knew you'd come around! We leave in an hour!" she skipped back to the table to tell Sarah.

"Ya know, sometimes I just want to choke her. She knew all along, didn't she?" Bucky pouted.

"Probably," Steve answered with a knowing half-smile.

"Do you think I'm on the right or left?" Bucky asked trudging back to the table.

"What do you mean?"

"She's got us wrapped around her little fingers, so I just wondered which one I'm on." Steve laughed in reply. Bucky stopped it quickly with another question, "So 'loved' , huh?"

Coney Island amusement parks were not Ash's idea of fun. Too many people , for one. Then there was the screaming and the tittering. It had also not been well maintained during the recession those few years previous. Safety had not been kept to standard. None of this deterred the boys from launching themselves at everything like death wasn't an option. She didn't, however, allow herself to fall too far behind. She was getting 'looks' from boys that she wasn't used to getting when in their company. She was so distracted, trying to pretend she was invisible, she failed to see the disaster waiting. It started with such an innocent suggestion, "Let's try these!" she heard as they ran off to obtain funnel cakes.

Ash fell in love with the carousels. She rode every one they had. She didn't mind the bumper cars or the water rides. The fun houses lived up to their names, and she enjoyed competing with the boys at the games. She wasn't consuming any of the food offered. It smelled too much of grease. Her nose wrinkled every time Bucky would shove a fried confection under her nose. They just laughed and ate with more gusto.

The Ferris wheels were alright. The Loop-a-Plane left her shaky, but unharmed. It was then decided roller coasters were next! The first few weren't bad. She took them well. The last one, The Cyclone, beckoned and Bucky was eager to accept the call! They lined up, Bucky extolling the entertainment value of the ride when a hand tugged at his sleeve. He turned to find Dot smiling coquettishly up at him.

"Hi." he said pleasantly surprised.

"Hi." she purred.

They stood gazing at each other until Ashton lost all patience. She cleared her throat, "Well, since you have clearly found someone else to entertain you, I shall be going." Her eyebrow crooked in irritation.

"Not so fast, Stanton. You promised. 'Sides I'd like you to meet Dot. Dot, this is Ash and Steve." 

Steve blushed and addressed her shoes, "Hi. Steve. Nice to meet you."

Dot turned slowly to Ashton, attempting to establish the hierarchy, taunted "Ash, is it? Do you clean for Mr. Barnes?" she snickered.

Ashton accepted her challenge, "As amusing as that would be, no I do not. It's an abbreviation of Ashton. Allow me to extend true courtesy to you, Dot. I am Lady Halsford Ashton Nahvalia Stanton, at your service. A pleasure, I'm sure. Would you care to join us?"

"I'd love to." she answered, snaking her arm through Bucky's.

Ashton really didn't want to be there anymore. She had missed an entire day of work, which would have been fine, except now she was trading barbs with another woman over her friend. It was petty, and this woman deserved better of her. She resolved to set aside such paltry attitudes and resume enjoyment of the outing. They were barely off the ride when the ill-advised contents of Steve's stomach demanded exit. His missing of Ash's shoes a near thing. They opted to spend the following day allowing Steve's abused stomach an opportunity to recover by resting on the beach. 

The week spent in Manhattan was amazing for each of them. There was shopping, fine dining, and a luxury hotel. Ashton took Sarah to do whatever she wanted while they waited for Sasha to provide them with a list of houses in the chosen neighborhood. The boys found cabarets and speakeasies Sarah would not have approved of, but they enjoyed. Each of them was out of sorts when the week concluded.

It took the remainder of the summer for the house to be ready. While they waited, it was decided that Sarah would move in with Ash and Becca as it was closer to Mercy General Hospital. Steve transferred back to the school in Brooklyn so Bucky wouldn't be alone. George would alternate places visiting his children.

Bucky and Steve got a letter every day from Ash after she started school as they waited for the telephone to be installed. She wrote about her studies, fellow students, and the relief from the heat as the seasons began to change. She invited them all to join her in Vermont for Christmas holidays. It was early September but she wanted everyone there so she gave early warning. She had been at the school for six weeks before she received a letter from either boy and when it came it broke her heart. George Barnes had died. 

Ashton mourned beside her friends. Becca was almost inconsolable with grief. Bucky internalized everything. She and Sasha had organized the funeral quietly on their behalf. Another matter loomed in the immediate future: custody of Rebecca. Neither wanted to broach the subject with Bucky yet, but it could not be delayed for long. Ida would, of course, be consulted as well.

"Are you two coming home?" she asked Steve after the funeral. 

"No, he wants to go home. Be quiet for a bit. Try to process what needs doing next." Steve told her in hushed tones.

"Alright. We're leaving a car, in case you change your minds. Or need anything." she assured him before pulling him into a hug. He returned it and let her go. She went to Bucky and said nothing, just held him against her until he wanted to be let go. She led them to the car and admonished them once more not to hesitate to come home for anything.

Steve drove. Bucky maintained his silence. Steve opened the door. He sent a mute prayer of gratitude to Sasha and Ash. George's few belongings had been carefully packed away. Steve knew Bucky would have been completely wrecked seeing them. 

"Can I get you anything?" Steve offered kindly.

"I - I think I'm just going to go lie down." Bucky's answer muted.

"I'm here if you need me." Steve entreated. Bucky merely nodded, retreating to the comfort of their shared room.

Steve settled into a chair by the window with his sketchbook. He hadn't wanted to get his mother's or Ash's hopes up too high, but he was contemplating art school after graduation. He wanted to be sure he had plenty to show should he resolve himself to it. He got comfortable and set about rendering the skyline from the living room window onto paper. Steve was almost instantly absorbed by his drawing and lost track of time. He was jerked out of his artistic focus by the screaming coming from his bedroom. He rushed to Bucky's aid.

Whatever terrors held Bucky prisoner seemed loath to relinquish him readily. Steve tried to shake him awake to no avail. "Bucky. Bucky!" Steve's voice becoming increasingly anxious. Bucky's arms wrapped around him tightly pulling him to the bed. Bucky snuggled into him, calming the second Steve rested beside him. Their noses almost touching, Steve tried again to rouse him, "Bucky. Bucky."called to his friend in quiescent tones.

Bucky stirred as if to wake, he nuzzled closer, his mouth closing over Steve's. Steve felt the initial shock and relaxed into it. He'd never been particularly attracted to men, but this was Bucky. This felt natural. Bucky hummed against his lips and deepened the kiss. Steve held him closer for a moment more before pulling away. As pleasant as kissing Bucky was, he was also asleep. He needed Bucky to be awake if this were to continue. "Bucky," Steve said one more time.

Steel blue eyes looked into cerulean in recognition. "Bucky , you jus-" Steve tried but was interrupted by Bucky's mouth on his once more. Bucky held eye contact until Steve got the point, when Steve's lips yielded beneath the tender kiss, he allowed his own to drift shut. As if possessed of the same mind their hands began the exploration of the physical topography before them. Each revealing in the sensation of touch of the other, a slow burn building within. Inexperienced yet eager for more, clothes becoming a hindrance needing disposal. Bucky's hands moved with agonizing indolence up Steve's stomach to capture his topmost button. He gazed into his eyes before trailing small, soft kisses along Steve's jaw and down the soft skin of his neck. 

Steve's hands clenched in pleasure under Bucky's tender ministrations. As the button opened Bucky's mouth moved to taste it. The second received the same reward. The third button elicited a growl from him.

Bucky's eyes met Steve's again, this time, a sensual frustration, "Why must you wear so damned many clothes?" Steve blinked in amused confusion before recalling the undershirt, the source of his partner's vexation. He pushed off the bed and removed his own shirt. Bucky's motion arrested by the view. Steve's hands moved to the hem of the offending garment when he noticed Bucky staring. Wordlessly, he gestured for the other to start removing his own. Bucky's smile was shy and sheepish as he followed Steve's encouragement. Shy wasn't a look Buck wore ever, it moved something sweet inside Steve's chest. Down to just their boxers, Steve caught Bucky's hands as he stopped him. 

"Let me." he requested. 

Those two words from those two lips were almost Bucky's undoing. His eyes fluttered closed as Steve's mouth moved in a caress over his collarbone. His tongue moving over his chest drew shivers from Bucky. Kisses mingled with teeth scraping down the stretch of his lower torso. Steve's fingers captured the waistband of his undershorts. Desire, anticipation, and longing had Bucky's length rigid in pure want. Steve's eyes glinted with a light Bucky was unable to readily identify. Steve dropped to his knees holding eye contact. His hands moved from waistband to brush his fingertips over the flesh at the back of Bucky's knees. Bucky hissed his pleasure through his teeth. Steve smiled up at him continuing upward progression, filing that bit of knowledge away for future use. Hands grazed the inner thighs on their relentless pursuit upward , brushing against the turgid member. It twitched in response, Bucky moaned a wanton sound. Steve quickly dispensed with their undergarments, that noise driving him mad with avidity. 

Bucky was now impatient with need. He had wanted to glorify Steve's body with almost religious fervor. He wanted Steve in this same state of aching salacity, he should not have worried. Steve was breathless with passion. Bucky's mouth found Steve's once again and pulled him to the bed. Steve's legs wrapped around his hips causing tumescent organs to slide against each other, the friction almost enough to allow orgasmic release. It just wouldn't be enough. Not now. Lubrication was applied to Steve's rear entrance and Bucky's dripping cock. He gently inserted a finger, Steve's mouth opened with a gasp. Bucky seized his lower lip between his teeth and sucked it as he readied the puckered hole for invasion. He added a second, moving in and out gently. This he refused to rush. He had to make sure Steve was ready. 

Steve couldn't take much more waiting, his hands grasped Bucky's head , refusing to look away. "Do it, please. I want you too much." Needing no more of an invitation, Bucky slid inch by cautious inch into the tight, kneading orifice. Steve's body almost fixed with pleasure. The intrusion so welcomed, the desire so complete, the moment itself one of perfection. Bucky's strokes were well-timed and even. It felt as if the pleasure could continue for days. His own cock throbbed in time with the thrusting and yearned for release. Again, it seemed as if they shared one mind as Bucky's thrusting grew harder, deeper. He was careful to take note of each of Steve's expressions and sounds. 

The moans that came out of Steve were driving Bucky nearly mad with lust. His soft panting breaths. His mewling cries. The words, "Oh yes. More. More . More" begging for exactly what he needed. The thrill of orgasm looming ever nearer on the horizon. He longed for sweet release.

He looked down, "Are you ready?" he gasped, Steve nodded, in too much pleasure to speak. Bucky rocked into him harder. Steve's eyes shuttered tight as the ecstasy arrived. It didn't wash over them in gentle waves, it struck with blinding frenzy, tearing harsh cries of relief from each of them. Followed by tingling delirium that ebbed slowly. Finally, in a collapse of sweat and limbs, they lay enraptured, sated.

Bucky felt his eyes drift closed, Steve's finger idly drawing circles on his skin. He sighed his contentment and made ready for sleep. 

"Bucky?" Steve's voice betrayed the barest hesitation.

"Hmmm?" he hummed in response.

"T-This is okay, right?" 

"What do you mean?" his voice becoming rougher as he drifted into unconsciousness.

"What we did. What we have. This is okay, right?"

"Sure, it is. I mean it's us, yeah? You and me. You're like the other side of me. You wouldn't do this with anyone else, right?" Bucky asked without opening his eyes. 

" Another guy? Of course not!" Steve answered.

"All right then. Just keep between us, okay?"

"You and I." he felt Steve nod.

"You can tell Ash. She'll be okay knowing." Bucky kissed the top of his head.

"Ash?" Steve queried, he got no answer. Bucky was asleep.


	10. Supplication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Death, grieving, language. Some drinking.

New York 1939

Some things about Nahvalia could not be concealed no matter what name or guise she wore. She was forthright to a point bordering rudeness. She was almost unfalteringly overprepared. Her drive to achieve security overrode every other desire. She would forget to limit conversations in respect to her outward youth. Above all else, though, she was blindingly oblivious and unnervingly observant by turns. It had been proven before with Constance. Because she'd learned nothing from the experience, she was living it again with their combined household of Stanton, Rogers, and Barnes.

Ashton's days started much the same. Dressing, grooming, making the bed and eating breakfast. She read the paper avidly, the growing crisis in Europe weighed heavily on her mind. She would have to have a discussion with Sasha to ensure her business affairs overseas were handled. College occupied her daytime hours and , increasingly, her nights. She had just over a year left and wanted to be sure she was properly prepared. Today she had the opportunity to follow Nurse Rogers during her rotation. Ashton could not have been more pleased.

Sarah Rogers was one of the best nurses Ashton had ever worked with. She was compassionate, observant, and dedicated. Her attention to detail had caught illnesses that doctors had overlooked and prevented illnesses before they grew into something worse. Sarah had worked in a tuberculosis ward for the last ten months. She had sat beside countless people as they drew their final breaths.

She trailed after Sarah, taking careful notes and documenting care. Ashton barely caught Steve's mother as she fell. Taught behavior took over. Pulse, no. Starting C.P.R. Ashton allowed herself no time to consider the consequences of failure. This was her friend's mother. This was her friend. Hands grasped her shoulders. She attempted to fight, then thought came back. She was in the way. She had a conflict of interest. She was screaming. She stopped fighting and followed as they took Sarah away.

Ashton watched the medical staff as they struggled to keep Sarah alive. Ashton began the denigration of her own character as she explored Sarah's condition. Her lungs weren't working, the fluid in them ensured that. Ashton diagnosed her before the doctor had. "Tuberculosis," she announced her conclusion causing every head, to turn, staring at her.

"Your reasons?" the doctor asked looking down at her in superiority.

"She hasn't been cooking recently. I'm sure this was a result of her fever. She's lost weight, hasn't wanted to eat and she's been exhausted. If I hadn't spent so much time reading to be a doctor, I would have seen it." she felt the numbing dread rise. She bit her lower lip," Excuse me. I need to call the family."

The doctor, brimming with impotent anger, stepped in front of her," Oh? I fail to see how that's your job, young lady. How do you even know who she is?"

The imperious gaze of a queen looked back at him. He felt naked and judged by it." I know because this woman was like a mother to me. I know where her son is. Do yourself the favor of moving out of my way. Given my current state of mind, should you not move, I may take a great deal of pleasure in your bodily relocation."

Ash knew she wouldn't be able to hold it together if she told him why he needed to come. This was her fault. She would not impose her selfishness once again on her friends. She had barely given him enough time to say hello. "Get here. Now." Steve heard in the insistence in her voice. He heard her sorrow. He delayed long enough to get Bucky. He sensed Bucky would be needed. He wasn't wrong.

"What is it?" Bucky asked.

"I don't know. Ash called. We need to be at Mercy General." Time became his enemy. He had no idea why Ash had been so insistent, but this could not end well. Bucky asked no questions on the way.

Asgard

Loki woke in pain. Not the physical kind. It felt as if his heart bled. A part of his mind cried in the loss. He longed for comfort. No, he longed to comfort what was hurting. For reasons he could not put words to tears rolled down his face. Impotent, useless tears.

"Loki. What is wrong, my Heart?" Frigga asked, pulling him gently to her.

"I know not Mother. My heart feels as if it's breaking and I have no reason for it."

Frigga blinked her own tears away. She could offer her child no comfort. Doing so would have given him more pain. She knew. So very far from the one who loved her and would harm her, Nahvalia was losing something precious. She offered what comfort she could.

New York

Bucky asked the questions to expedite the search. They found Ash in a chair, staring at a door. Her eyes were sightless in pain. Bucky called her name many times before recognition hit her. She looked hopelessly into his eyes, her own almost white with pain. She looked for Steve. Bucky kept her close until some color had returned. Deep down, Bucky knew what happened.

"Steve?"

"I'm here."

"Sit down." her voice trembled.

"Ash.."

"Your mother is in that room." She told him. Steve's mouth opened and no words came out. Ash would have told him. But he didn't ask. She wouldn't say. She held him as their souls wept and their hearts broke. They didn't need the doctor to tell them what they already knew. They wanted no details. They wanted no part of the pity-filled half smiles. The sick truth was hard enough. They clung to each other. Eyes dry. Knowing if the dam burst, it would never stop. Hours later, Steve and Ashton were by nature quiet people: now they were mute. It seemed they shared a silent language of pain.

Sasha organized the funeral. She arranged for all of Steve's things to be moved into the house. She asked him no questions. Sasha waited, her questions were for Ash anyway. She found her teenage employer hiding in the library. Ashton's face was drawn, the weight of the world resting on her shoulders. Sasha didn't want to hurt her. Things needed settling, though, and Ash was the one signing the checks.

"What do we do now?" Sasha asked.

"What do you mean?" Ash asked in reflex. She wouldn't meet Sasha's eyes.

"What are we going to do about the business? About Becca? Do any of them have trust funds yet? No. You don't have a will. You need to fix this." Sasha let her exasperation show.

"So fix it," Ashton answered. Sasha nictated, rejecting Ashton's response.

"Excuse me?" she asked for clarity.

"Sasha, you've told me for years that I pay you to look out for my business interests. Now I'm asking you to do so. I am not trusting myself to do what is best right now. I trust you. Fix this. Do what must be done. Bring me the forms and I'll sign them. Thank you." Sasha nodded and took her leave. She left shaken, this was the first time Ashton had ever displayed an inability to cope. Ashton had never looked weak.

Steve maintained his silence during the funeral. He dropped the flower on her casket. He spread the handful of dirt with solemnity and wet eyes. He did not allow them to fall. He allowed Bucky to take him home, one last time before the apartment became a sanctuary to someone else. Bucky let him stay alone that night.

Steve took refuge in Ashton. She didn't try to cheer him up or cajole him into talking. Instead, they walked together in silence, read for hours not speaking. He drew and she wrote, each allowing the other their solitude.

She was the only one who did this for him, as she always had. Ashton kept quiet companionship. Would listen when he wanted to speak. She offered no advice or opinion, she just listened. Steve knew it was a trait learned from loneliness. One learned to listen well when they had no one to speak to.

He had no idea what she wrote about in that thick, black, leather-bound journal. He did know she had filled three of them. She always wrote beside a large window, the book opened on her leg. Periodically, she would turn her eyes to the window and stare sightlessly, lost in thought. She often looked so sorrowful, Steve knew she wasn't just thinking about his mother. His only regret was he could provide no comfort for the longing and sorrow etched on her face.

He learned he loved to catch her in these unguarded moments. She looked different when she thought herself alone and unobserved. Steve didn't mind she forgot him. He was witness to her veneer falling away. It was as if she cloaked herself in ordinary-ness. In those brief shining moments that slipped away and he could see the otherworldly luminescence of her. He sketched her in those moments. He noticed the way her eyes changed color and how she bit the side of her lower lip. He noticed how her left eyebrow betrayed her thoughts first. He didn't notice he was falling in love with her.

1940

Ashton graduated without friend or family to witness it. She wanted no fight or harbored a reason for discord. It was going to happen. She was going to join the war. Everyone in her household was ignorant of her plans. There were secrets kept.

Bucky found her contemplating a piece of paper in her hand. He took it with a smile that faded quickly as he read the contents. "What about the kids?"

"I have ensured all of you will be cared for in my absence. Life will continue here as it always has." She answered in a detached way. Blandly, without feeling. Bucky felt his temper rise.

"I don't see why you don't stay here.I'll go if someone needs to."

"You are not a duel citizen, Barnes. You'll be hard pressed joining anyone else's war."gazes meeting, he found hers flat, accepting her fate.

"Why do you think you need to this?" he asked.

"You've read the papers. You've heard what they've done. You know me well enough to understand I will not sit while those atrocities happen. I requested this."

Ah, he thought watching the fire flare in her eyes. Not accepting, sickened by tragedy. Weighed down by guilt."Ya know, Ash, you aren't the only person on this planet. There are a bunch of us that know right from wrong."

"I am aware of that."

Bucky watched the door behind them open revealing Steve, curious about the noise. Bucky met Ashton's eyes without revealing his friend's presence. "Are you? I'm not sure. You run around like it's your job to save us all. You've done a damn good job, Stanton. Giving all the orphans a great big house, a bunch of money, and people to clean up after us. You don't have to be a martyr, Ash. You are allowed to be happy in your big fucking house. You don't need to go to war!"

"Ash? Is it true?" Steve looked into each face and read the truth. "Ash. You didn't tell me." His face expressing his feelings more eloquently than words.

She closed her eyes, her hand made a quick pass down her face as she strove to find the words to explain."I am needed there. The lack of surgeons is crippling their efforts. This is my chance to do something with real meaning."

"You are a girl. Your job is to stay here and make sure we have a home to return to." Bucky fired back.

She was on her feet and jabbing him in the chest, "I am a grown woman with the rights and responsibilities of a human being, James. I will do as my heart instructs, not listen to a boy tell me I'm not worthy to serve." She would have been terrifying had she not been Ash. It was hard to feel threatened by someone smaller than Steve, even if her finger was bony.

"She's right, Buck. She has a right to fight if she wants." Steve joined in the argument.

"You stay out of this, Punk," Bucky growled in warning.

"You don't tell him what to do, Barnes." Ashton hissed, closing distance.

"What is going on here?" Ida asked with Becca in tow.

"Tell them, Stanton. You owe them that much. They have rights too." Bucky challenged.

"Tell us what? For God's sake, James, are the two of you fighting?" Ida's incredulity rising exponentially.

"She has enlisted in the British army for service in the war. She leaves in a week. Our dear Doctor Stanton was going to leave us a letter. Hell, that's not even the worst of it. Did any of you know she graduated today? No? Not surprised, none of us were invited. That's why we are arguing. Because I'm not going to let her leave. I haven't before and I'm not starting today."

Ashton glared up at him as she heard Ida and Becca gasp. She watched the muscle work, his teeth grinding in vexation. "Ashton, honey, is this true," Ida asked, her voice wavering.

Ashton continued the glaring contest for a heartbeat longer before turning. She stroked her forehead as she spoke," yes. It's true. I didn't want a fuss of a fight, but it seems I've got them anyway. Graduation was something we knew was coming, no need for a fuss. My enlistment is a subject I addressed with Sasha months ago. It is only a matter of time before it comes here. I just had no patience for delaying my contribution. I cannot justify waiting, allowing more people to die, while I can do something now." she fell silent waiting for the recriminations.

A breath of silence, then two. Becca's voice was small and tremulous, "What if you die?"

"You all have trust funds. Sasha is a capable steward. You shall all remain here. Nothing will have changed." Ashton was blunt. She had addressed the floor with her answer, she didn't see the tears in Becca's eyes. Or the horror in Ida's at her ready acceptance of death. She didn't see the fresh wash of pain in Steve's as he contemplated yet another loss os someone dear.

Bucky spun her to face him. Rancor manifested on both faces, "You could have the decency to pretend to care, Stanton. We are your friends. We are supposed to be a family. That's what you've always told us. Look me in the eye and tell me that's changed."

Steve took Bucky's arm and pulled it from hers. "That's enough. The two of you need to stop. You aren't making this any better by hurting each other. Talk. You are both adults, and well-educated ones too. Don't let fear and pain create something that can't be undone. Not over something like this. You are better than this." he took Ida's hand and led her back inside.

"You shoulda said something." his voice terse.

She gave it a second. "You're right. I should have." she conceded.

"It should be me, ya know." he continued.

She scoffed, "It shouldn't be anyone. When it comes, I know what you'll do."

He joined her in talking to the floor, "Do you mean it? You gave us all trust funds?"

She nodded then realized her couldn't see her head rattle, "Yeah. Yeah, I did. Sasha has the paperwork for you to sign. She was instructed to give it to you after I'd left."

He snorted," Did you think that was going to enough? That leaving without a word would be easier if you gave us money? Come on, Stanton. You're smarter than that. Why were you leaving without sayin' something?"

"I'm not good with farewells. You...WE have all lost so much. We have recovered so much here, it seems stupid to change that. I cannot read the papers and see the body count rise anymore. I can't live with that level of cruelty in the world. I can't abide myself knowing I did nothing to stop it."

"So you'll leave the children with me and scamper off to war. That's a terrible idea!" he pulled he to his chest and buried his nose in her hair. He knew she hated it, but he needed reassurance. He needed to know she was alive and here. She could suffer a hug just this once because he would suffer for months without her.

They stood at the dock smiling and waving to her. They held back tears, she endured all of their hugs and kisses. The letters started almost immediately. She'd asked Sasha to leave them for everyone while she departed. Becca found solace with her friends. Ida found hers in the kitchen, meatloaf the order of the day. Bucky took Steve out for a drink. They staggered home at one o'clock the following morning.

1941

Ashton's letters came regularly with stories of lumpy mattresses and terrible food. There was no word of the privation endured or the gore of battle. Their own letters to her were sparse and full of boring details. Bucky had written shortly after the US joined to tell her he'd enlisted. His letters following that told her of training and equally lumpy mattresses. Steve's letters became quite vague. She knew he'd joined the effort, traveling with Captain America selling bonds. Ashton had seen no pictures of the Captain and his exploits were not shown in her nearest cinema.

1945 Nuremberg

Casualties had been high. The loss of President Roosevelt still stung, perhaps engendering a greater level of force than necessary. Ashton was elbows deep in surgeries. She had been for days now. The incoming wounded seemed endless and Dr. Carlson was still in triage. The nursing core had been taxed almost to breaking and communications had gone done earlier that day. Relief did not appear to be coming in a foreseeable future. She closed her patient and moved to the tent flap. She needed a cigarette and what passed for coffee. The nurses smiled sympathetically to her as the readied to next patient.

Peggy Carter tried to mentally prepare herself for the news she had for Dr. Ash Stanton. Neither Steve nor Bucky willing offered details. Most of what Peggy had been told of him was 'Oh, Ash? Great kid.'. Or ' Ash woulda figured that out ages ago.'. Peggy straightened her uniform and went in search of Major Stanton.

An American sergeant with a wry smirked stopped in front of where Ash sat. He saluted smartly, "Major Stanton, an Agent Carter for you." He stepped aside and smiled wider at Peggy's small look of surprise. Ash rubbed circles at her temples, she could feel a migraine growing she didn't have time for.

"Please excuse me if I don't rise Agent Carter. We've had a rough day." Peggy inhaled slowly. Her trepidation sparked something in Ashton, she did something she hadn't done in decades: She read Peggy Carter's mind. She saw it all. The experiment to 'improve' her friend. The captives in Azzano and the subsequent rescue. A final kiss as he boarded the plane. A control panel, static on the line. The news broke Ashton and roused a long dormant Nahvalia. Seething silently, she looked to the heavens in supplication. It was not answered.

"Doctor, I need to speak with you." Peggy's voice quiet with her own sorrow. Peggy did not know Ashton. She could not see her eyes in the dark. She was unable to see the rise of violent amethyst hue rising in the doctor's eyes. "I have some things for you."

Nahvalia could see her pain. She could see Peggy's desire to comfort and find comfort with her. She saw the tears swimming in Agent Carter's eyes. She could see the men waiting for those tears to fall, yearning for it to make them look weak. Nahvalia gathered her cold, uncaring wrath to herself and halted the motion of her pain by unleashing her wrath. Her face devoid of obvious emotions she stood and spoke," Margaret Carter. I am aware of the matter you wish to speak to me about. I implore you to leave now. Leave and do not return." Peggy stared back at her in disbelief.

Nahvalia's voice hissed out at her," He wasn't broken, but you 'fixed' him. He wasn't a god, but you tried to make him one and failed. You allowed him to accept the burden of grief for something, not his fault. You have taken from me all of the humanity that remained of me. You did that, Carter. I give you this word of advice, never let me see you again. If I do, I shall end you."

Peggy was briefly rooted to the spot. Such vehemence had rarely been directed at her. She had wanted to weep by the bucket with the doctor. The she-devil before her didn't even look as if she could feel anything, let alone cry. Peggy returned to the jeep, finding two men to help her unload the foot lockers. She resolved herself to once again brave the hospital site. Steve deserved that much.

Nahvalia took a full minute to make sure she was alone. A lead weight crushed her chest, tears burned the back of her eyelids. Cries of anguish, pain, and denial tore her throat for release. Her hands shook with grief. She lit a cigarette and smoked it in four heavy drags. She was alone. They had died without her. How was she going to tell Ida and Becca? Steve would never leave another flower on Sarah's grave. She lit another cigarette while fighting for control.

Peggy watched her hidden from view. She saw the agony in her every jerky motion. She looked on as Dr. Stanton threw away her trash, washed her hands and returned to surgery. She learned why this girl was so well respected. Major Stanton was twenty-one and ready had a reputation as one of the greatest surgeons the Allied forces had. She had been in the operating theater for almost nineteen hours that day. She had not lost a patient. In spite of her loss, Stanton did not lose professional courtesy. She spoke kindly to everyone. She remembered to ask after communications repair. She was the definition of conduct becoming an officer. Her treatment of Peggy notwithstanding, Dr. Stanton became Agent Carter's hero.

Shortly thereafter the war ended. Nahvalia returned to New York briefly. Becca had married and Ida wished to see the world. Nahvalia sold the house and once again entrusted Sasha to oversee her business interests. Her affairs in order, she did what she'd always done when she was in pain. She followed the wars. It was sixty years after learning Steve and Bucky had died before she finally looked up.


	11. Erstwhile

2001

Asgard

Loki knew no peaceful haven for seventy-five years. Every attempt at finding the snow-covered forest was thwarted by the grimness of death and war. Blood soaked earth, death rattles, and pained screaming. While war, was not unfamiliar to Loki this aspect of it was. Everywhere the eye looked was a mangled human, a by-product of vicious fighting. He didn't want to see this. He'd been looking for the dream girl in white. He never noticed the small figure rushing to save lives and ceasing the screams. Jerking awake, and covered in sweat, Loki would reset his mind to return to the snow. Every night he returned to a war.

India

Nahvalia would have stayed away, posing as a doctor from the Red Cross, when catastrophe drove her home. She had been sitting in a cafe when news cut into the program. She watched in horror as her city suffered. Using her 'family's' massive influence Talis Nahvalia Stanton, who had been abroad at medical school, went back to New York to assist with rebuilding.

May 2011 New York

She stayed far longer than she'd intended, but as ever the city drew her in. Nahvalia marveled at the changes time had wrought and was pleasantly surprised by what had stayed the same. She had purchased a farm after returning to New York. She took her time in quiet reflection. She sat down with a fresh leather-bound journal and commenced writing her thoughts. At first, she wrote information filled pages containing dates and relevant occurrences. Slowly they became something more. She wrote long entries as if she were writing to someone. Constance, Thor, Frigga, Steve, Bucky and even Loki. One journal became four and she'd run through ounces of ink. She sat before the window and lost herself in rumination. So engrossed was she in the endeavor several remarkable things occurred without her notice.

In 2008, Anthony Stark announced he was Iron Man while she was making tea. She was tucking herself into bed as Thor tried unsuccessfully to recover Mjollnir. Not far from her current location Captain Steven Rogers was defrosting.

She had woken with an itch between she shoulder blades. It was a sensation she hadn't felt since her last morning in Asgard. She dismissed the irritant from her thoughts. Today was Wednesday and since she had nothing to do she went to her favorite bookstore.

Loki had felt drawn to New York and he had to know why. He had time to discover the reason before he was missed back home. He allowed the innervation to draw him to a bookstore. He couldn't put a finger to it, but this place harbored a sense of something familiar. He spotted her from the coffee shop and was immediately intrigued.

She betrayed that she was more than what she seemed with an unconscious grace usually lacked by those wearing hoodies and platform combat boots. He watched her browse the classic literature, philosophy and medical sections. She would pick up a selection, skim the cover or smile fondly in memory. It suggested choices made for pleasure, not challenging comfort zones. She'd disguised herself brilliantly down to the minutest detail. The jewelry was fashionable, yet understated. Her hair twisted into a chignon with a decided lack of effort. Her clothing far larger than her petite frame, which was the way younger Midgardians wore those things. Loki smiled in amusement. The elf had glamoured herself nearly perfect. She had not thought about that otherworldly grace, it revealed her when she grew distracted. He silently appreciated her lie, he doubted anyone else would have noticed.

She had collected two large bags of books , which she paid for before entering the coffee shop. She smiled a greeting at the young man behind the counter, inspiring resentment from Loki, and ordered something difficult to pronounce. It smelled of far too much caffeine and sugar. She picked a table beside a large window and began, what appeared to be, the arduous task of selecting a book to read. He had not intended conversation. He watched her and could not resist. She had selected a volume of poetry. She opened it carefully, correctly he noted with a strange feeling of pride. Her eyes, a cool steely gray when she started, had darkened to a stormy gray. A fierce intelligence was held within them, along with pain and loneliness. He knew those feelings intimately. It ignited an impassioned and nameless thing in his chest, the pull of kinship was not helping either. The raw anguish on her beautiful face had him taking the seat across from her awaiting acknowledgment.

Nahvalia's eyes left the page and gray met green. He watched the emotions play across her very expressive features. Surprise. Shock. Anger. Fear. Disappointment. Love...? Finally, they settled into curiosity. She placed a bookmark on a page featuring Byron and closed the book.

"How do you do?" she asked.

"I am wondering that myself." he replied.

"Is that so? May I help you?" she inquired.

"I am certain you can, but I am uncertain that you would." he smirked.

"Hmm. Have you sat here for a reason?"

"Several." he responded.

She gave an irritated sigh,"Why must it always be riddles and innuendo with you?"

His smirk was replaced by a frown,"Indeed? Have we met before? I will admit you do seem familiar."

It was Nahvalia's turn to smirk, "According to some we have all met in some fashion at some time. Are you asking literally, figuratively, metaphysically, esoterically or existentially?"

"I meant what I asked. Please answer accordingly or I may lose my ability to be charming." he snapped sharply.

She sat back in the chair regarding him, an unreadable expression on her face, "Yes."

"In what sense?" he growled.

"All of them, your Grace."

"You know who I am?" confusion and insult in his eyes.

"Obviously." she answered.

"Who are you?" he realized he craved her answer.

Her face softened with a hint of disbelief and sudden sorrow then back to the unreadable one," Such a difficult answer. One I'm never quite sure how to readily answer. Perhaps we'll settle for me with the hope of becoming the greatest version of the same someday." she smiled.

"Mayhap the lady doth indulge in philosophy too much." he suggested irked.

"Mayhap indeed. It bears consideration. Perhaps the gentleman indulges in too little."

Loki grunted. He knew he could not indulge in more time with the infuriating, mysterious fetching elven woman. He sighed and met her gaze once more, "It isn't often I have the pleasure of matching wits with an equal. Will you give me your name?"

"Absolutely not. You have one of your own."

"Will you meet me another time, then?"

"No. In fact, I've probably stayed too long already." She rose, replacing the book and gathering the bags. She brushed a bit of hair behind his ear, absently caressing his cheek before resting it lightly on his shoulder. Loki covered it with one of his own, overcome by the amount of comfort he derived from it.

"Will you tell me why you are so melancholy? It suits you ill,"he asked softly.

Her smile was sad,"I once loved a man with all that I had, but his heart was taken by a lust for power. I live with the knowledge that even though I gave him my all I wasn't enough for him and he drove me away."

"He was a fool," Loki whispered staring at the table, clinging to her hand.

"Possibly. It was wonderful to see you again. Please try to take better care of yourself. You look thin and tired." she impulsively brushed a kiss over his cheek then took her coffee from the table. "Be safe, Loki."

Loki lingered in his chair. She donned sunglasses as she walked confidently to a sleek black car. The stupid bastard, he thought in disdain, who could have been that blind? He left the coffee shop and returned home, no one any wiser he'd been absent.

Nahvalia was shaken by her encounter with Loki. She had been terrified the charm would break and he would remember. It was apparent his charm had been reinforced. She wasn't able to hold still or focus on her books, so she set about establishing her identity. She could not allow her mind time to wander. When it did green eyes were all she saw.


	12. Recrudescence

May 2011

Nahvalia took her encounter with Loki as a sign. Her charm had worked, she was, at great last, safe from his vengeance. She could begin to enjoy life, as it was meant to be. She could truly start tearing down inner walls she'd built for protection. She could return to the meditation forest to sleep. She was filled with enormous joy and great purpose. She had given herself permission to live her own life and allow her heart to move on as Loki had.

Her years of service had shown her the damage wrought on the mind. She had also learned the best way to heal it was to allow it to do so on its own with highly specialized treatment. She took proof of her substantial schooling in the medical field, all of it altered of course, and returned to a very familiar place. Once again she sat before a headmaster with a humble request. "As you can see here, I am a graduate of Chapin, did three years of medical study here and concluded it in England. I returned to assist with the rebuilding and, now that it is finished, I would like to attain my doctorates."

Nahvalia willed herself to stillness. The opening and closing of eyes while silently gawping at her had become sort of a pet peeve to her over the years. She could feel her eyes almost begging to roll in their sockets. Against her will, her traitorous left eyebrow rose showing her impatience. "Miss Stanton, Your qualifications are impressive. You do realize that the course work for two doctorates will be extremely taxing. It will be expensive should you fail, and not just monetarily. Your reputation will suffer."

Her back straightened by slow degrees. "Sir," condescension oozing throughout every word," I believe myself better versed in my capabilities than you. I have thoroughly researched both doctoral programs prior to application. Do be so kind as to give me credit for my intelligence."

The man had the decency to look abashed," I beg your pardon. You are fully qualified for both programs and if you think you can keep up with the course work I'll allow it."

Nahvalia kept the look of victory from her face, "Thank you. If you could e-mail my schedule that would be wonderful." She listened to his remaining words and took her leave. She glanced at her watch, she would even make the meeting with her board of directors on time.

Hours later found Nahvalia frowning intently at a television in her kitchen. The program was instructing the viewer to make eggplant parmesan. Nahvalia had not hired staff for the farm. She had not decided if she'd be staying and now it seemed as if she'd be needing something inside the city. She was cooking for herself one of her favorite meals, but she'd never seen a tool such as she was told to use. She paused the show and went to the car, she'd have to go buy one. As she entered a car Tony Stark wanted and could not get for her trip Steven Rogers walked through Times Square for the first time in seventy years.

Nahvalia volunteered her summer to Mercy General. She reported to the graveyard shift, fewer people. She introduced herself and went to work. She lobbed herself at every case as if life depended on it. Nurse Temple could foresee a problem: This doctor cared too much. She'd burn out. Doctors didn't care like this in Hell's Kitchen and last. She followed the new doctor on rounds. Claire was fascinated by the gentleness of her care and the way she listened. Claire watched her take notes on each patient. Claire's eyes widened as she listened to the care plans. This was going to be way more involved than other doctors' would have advocated. At one point Claire felt moved to ask," Dr. Stanton, this woman is 78 years old. Are you sure you want to give her pool therapy?"

"Nurse Temple, she is 78, not dead. We need to do all we can for all of them. A nurse taught me that. She would have never thought to give someone less care if they needed it and neither will we. Our example is Sarah Rogers." Nahvalia's tone austere but not unkind.

"You aren't as new to this as you look," Claire stated, reappraising the young doctor. "Why are you here?"

"You are far too observant for my own good." Nahvalia replied with a smile," I'm in the process of my doctorates for psychology and surgery."

Claire's eyes widened in respect and surprise, "Wow. That's ambitious. Why here? Where do you go?"

"Columbia. And it isn't Dr. Stanton. Please call me Talis," she answered, then her voice dropped," This was Sarah's hospital. She was....close to my family. I want to honor her memory."

"You aren't what I would have expected, not with your last name." Claire's expression shrewd. Nahvalia tipped her head in silent question. "Stanton. I assume your family makes those donations." Nahvalia nodded in answer. Claire smiled ruefully, "I had expected someone who was afraid to work and you tell me that. Well, you'll get plenty of practice here, Talis."

"Sadly, I'm counting on that."

Four gunshot wounds and several stabbings later Nahvalia returned home. She was tired, yet satisfied. She was reclaiming her life by increments. After her shower, she laid awake, sleep eluding her. There was one last place she had yet to reclaim: her meditation forest. She hesitated briefly before permitting herself to go there.

Nahvalia's father had taught her this technique, knowing the role of leadership would be hard to bear. He had instructed her to pick her favorite place, she picked the woods to the side of the castle grounds. His instructions were simple: build it completely in your mind. "After you have done this, vanimelda hina, walk there until your troubles pass. You will sleep and your phaya restored." He had kissed her forehead and sang her to sleep. She smiled tenderly at the memory.

She started with the terrain. Gently rolling hills behind the thick trees. Snow thick and heavy on the limbs of the trees and the ground. She layered in the sounds. The soft thumping of the snow falling, the wind causing the branches to stir. She felt the cold caress of it on her face, leaning her head back to take in the cold clean air. She allowed the stillness of the forest to soothe the ache in her heart. She had missed this place, she hadn't realized how much.

Asgard

Loki was seated on the throne watching Sif and the warriors three depart when he felt a shift. Something buried deep within his mind fell quiet. It was a part that for as long as he could remember had been frightful and anxious. It was peaceful, tranquil. He closed his eyes, resisting the urge to massage his forehead. How he yearned for that peace and solitude. Maybe that night he could, at last, find the forest in slumber. He sat in envy.

It found him as he fell from Asgard. The irony wasn't lost on him as he plummetted through the vastness of space. For a century he had endured tormented sleep as he sought the refuge of the forest. Now, he could have it. now. Friendless. Alone. He closed his eyes willing himself to sleep. He didn't find the forest, he glimpsed of his past.

The princess had yet to leave her room. She had watched her parents depart with a stoicism befitting royalty. She thanked each of them for their kindness and politely requested Frigga allow her to return to her room. Loki watched her leave ardently hoping she would turn and ask for his company. He failed to notice Thor's approach in the periphery.

"You know she'll never look at you as you do after her. She's meant to be the wife of a king." Thor's chest blew out in insufferable arrogance.

"And you seem quite sure she'll want to be yours. It would take someone small to endure your company with that swollen head." Loki fired back.

"Boys, do try to be nice. She will be here for some time. Make friends with her. She is alone here." Frigga admonished.

Thor followed her retreating form with celerity, Loki trailing at a halting pace. Loki watched their interaction. Thor mumbled words at her. She crossed her arms, tilted her head and an eyebrow rose as Thor spoke. Loki did not know her well but his mind screamed at Thor to stop. She was not pleased with his words. Loki watched it happen as if in slow motion. She smirked up at Thor, said something that caused the color to drain from his face, spun on her heel and slammed the door.

Loki fought the joy and laughter from his face. Never had he seen Thor so embarrassed in the course of two weeks. Now he watched his elder brother stomp away from her door. Loki smiled to himself and then followed. Thor would need someone to yell at.

"She should be mine, yet she rejects me!" Thor predictably yelled as he thrust his training weapon against a dummy.

"She does have several choices before her, Brother. She can choose from the vastness of the Nine Realms if she desires." Loki offered in consolation. He watched Thor beat the dummy a bit more. Sif crept in to sit beside him. Loki's head turned slightly in her direction as he mimicked a gesture he'd seen before his left eyebrow raised in question to her presence.

"Has she met him?" Sif asked. Loki saw her prepare for the question she was building to ask.

"You know she did. You were there."

"D..did she pick?" Sif stuttered at him.

"No. She's been here a week and spent most of it at her parents' side. She..." Loki allowed his thought to go unfinished. Sif wore a look of raw pain. He placed his arm around her, "Sif, she slammed the door in his face. I doubt she shall set her sights on him." he smiled kindly at her.

She sniffed and smiled weakly in gratitude,"I hope she picks you just the same."

Loki laughed and squeezed her gently before releasing, "We can only hope."

Loki was not expecting Nahvalia when he saw her next. He had gone to the library. She was cuddled into a chair with a volume of work he was fond of. He watched as her eyes devoured pages. She chewed on her lower lip absently. He obtained a book of his own taking a chair near her. They were interrupted hours later by one of the kitchen staff wanting to know if they would be dining with the family or in the library. As they left the library Loki received a further shock when reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Thank you. I was very sad and lonely. I am grateful you did not leave me alone." She looked up at him as no one had before: as a hero. He had no words, he settled by offering his arm and escorting her to the dining hall.

When he opened his eyes he was lying on the stony ground with no memory of his dream. He rose stiffly and took in his surroundings. A sound to his left drew his attention, a robed humanoid figure approached him from the shadows, "The Master has spared your life. He has work for you on Midgard. Should you be successful, it shall be your reward. Fail and the rest of your days will be agonizing." the being hissed.

He did not hesitate, "When do we start?"

July 2011 New York City

Nahvalia was rereading notes from the previous day when her phone rang. A nursing facility, annexed by Mercy General and aware of the long history the Stanton family had with the hospital, heard of Dr. Stanton's plans and wondered would she like to get hands-on experience with dementia cases? She accepted immediately. She would start the next day.

She arrived in scrubs, she had never been a physician who flouted her position. She introduced herself to the nursing staff, then requested to meet the doctor who had extended the invitation. Dr. Vendetta Landon towered over Nahvalia as they shook hands. "The pleasure is mine entirely. I was at the hospital a few weeks ago and overheard Nurse Temple talking about you, or rather something you'd said. My grandmother used to tell a story about a Nurse Rogers and a med student named Stanton. My grandfather had required treatment and the hospital staff were refusing to give it to him."

Nahvalia frowned. She did not recall the incident being described. She also saw no reason for treatment to be refused. "Why would they refuse him care?"

Dr. Landon's smile was playful, "Because he was black. Miss Stanton and Nurse Rogers made sure he was cared for. He was treated just as the other patients were. So it's an honor for me to have you here, Dr. Stanton"

Nahvalia smiled," Oh please, no need for formalities. Do call me Talis. The pleasure is all mine. I've rather missed the routine of patient care. Don't have the opportunity in the emergency room." They walked the rooms. Dr. Landon quietly explaining each patients' condition. Dr. Stanton listened carefully, observed and took notes. After an hour and a half, Dr. Landon stopped before the final door.

"This is our resident celebrity, Peggy Carter. She's featured in the Smithsonian's Captain America exhibit. She is in the later stages of Alzheimer's"

"That's tragic," Nahvalia answered, staring at the closed door before her. She recalled their only encounter and fought not to cringe. She felt awful for the hateful things she'd said.

"Peggy is truly the reason I asked you here. I read your paper on neurological disorders and I believe you could do her a lot of good. I agree with you about the tragedy of it. Ms. Carter has probably saved more lives than anyone knows, so I would really like to help her if we can." Dr. Landon's eyes were almost pleading with Nahvalia.

"Of course. I shall endeavor to do all I can." she nodded and opened the door.

Nahvalia's eyes fell on the lady sitting quietly watching television. She strove to keep the sadness from her face as it lodged in her chest. Peggy had once been a vivacious woman with uncommon intelligence and bravery. She had done Nahvalia a true kindness telling her about Steve and Bucky. She had behaved monstrously toward this amazing woman. Could never apologize enough. Now it was time to redress the mistake.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Landon. This is a pleasant surprise." Peggy greeted her.

"Good afternoon, Peggy. I would like to introduce you to Dr. Stanton."

Peggy's eyes widened at Nahvalia," Hello, Peggy. I'm Talis Stanton. I know you met my grandmother Ashton. I've heard the resemblance is uncanny. I have the privilege to be assisting Dr. Landon with you case, in honor of your service to our nations."

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Talis. I look forward to working with you." Peggy smiled kindly. The doctors' helped Peggy to bed discussing the generalities regarding her care. Nahvalia took her leave thanking everyone she'd met. She was extremely cautious on the drive back to the townhouse.

????

Loki was in hell. The Other had drilled the plan at him so often Loki could have done it in his sleep. When he did sleep it was tormented by visions of what would befall him should he fail. The Other walked the corridors of Lokis mind at will. Loki wanted to rest, no dreams. He wanted to get started. He wanted to go back to the coffee shop.

Thanos and The Other sat watching him from a distance. "What do you wish to do with the blocked memories within his head? You know who the girl is. We should use him to destroy her." The Other rasped.

"No," Thanos answered after a long second's thoughts. His smile was cold and cruel," Now we know how to cause him the greatest amount of pain should he fail or betray us."


	13. Concatenation

April 2012

Colonel Nicholas Fury was not a fan of surprises. He actively avoided them when he could. After the recovery of Captain America, Fury pulled every file on him SHEILD had. He learned Peggy Carter was still living, he had her filed pulled too. He needed Rogers and he was fully prepared to use every means at his disposal to get him. Even a retired, heavily decorated Agent Carter. He found Rogers in a boxing gym and tantalized him with further details. Fury hated surprises. It was a shame when one gob-smacked him in the face.

Steve thumbed through the pages again. The dossiers gave him no picture of the lives they'd lived, only the fact they had retired and died. Except for Peggy, himself and Bucky. Killed in action, Steve read. Died because I wasn't strong enough to save him. He'd been reported as missing in action. Peggy was still alive, there was a number. He stared at the phone for days before he worked up enough nerve to use it.

May 2012

Nahvalia had been busy, but happily so. With school, volunteering at Mercy and helping Peggy she was quite focused on very specific things. She had missed messages. Two of them very important. She was unprepared for her own surprise. Nahvalia was sitting with Peggy late in the afternoon when a soft knock sounded at the door.

"Hey, Peggy. I hope you don't mind but..." Steve's voice faltered at the occupants of the room. The color drained from Nahvalia's face.

"Steve, dear, this is Dr. Talis Stanton. She's been asked to advise on my treatment. Talis, I'm sure he needs no introduction. The whole world knows who he is." Peggy teased.

Nahvalia's smile was almost sickly as she extended her hand. Her mind tripping back to the moment of learning this manner of greeting. "The pleasure is all mine. If you'll excuse me I need to see about care plans. Peggy, lovely to see you again." She leaned in to kiss the aged cheek. She nodded at Steve, "Captain." she said before swiftly leaving.

Once they were alone Peggy watched for signs she was right. Steve stared at the door recently closed. He smiled as he watched Peggy's eyes grow shrewd. "I know that look Peg. What are you thinking?"

"I met a woman once. The night I told her your plane had crashed. I couldn't see well but I believe her eyes were purple.You never told me Ash was a girl." her gaze gently scolding. "Dr. Landon told me a Dr. Stanton would be coming to advise. On the day I met her those eyes were so blue, they may as well have been black with her guilt and sorrow. In the days since they are gray, the shade varies with the depth of her thoughts. Do you think they turn brown when she lies?"

"I don't know. Never caught her in one, that would have been Bucky." Steve answered shaking his head. "Peg." Steve paused, considering how to phrase the thoughts. "You think.. that girl is ..Ash?" she nodded and he fell quiet.

"Strange things walk this world, now Steve. Things I'd never dreamed of in my childhood." she scoffed. "You work with Iron Man." she paused, reaching out to stroke his hand," I would bet dollars to doughnuts that 'girl' is older than both of us.

Steve began his reply then watched lucidity fade from her face. Unwilling to add to her suffering or his own Steve left. He hated that he caused her tears. His own mind barely able to deal with what he'd seen. It couldn't be her. She had said something about care plans. He asked a passing nurse if Dr. Stanton was still there. After receiving assurances yes and instructions to her whereabouts Steve walked quickly in that direction.

Nahvalia sat at her desk, the tip of her thumb clamped between her teeth. She was recovering from the shock gradually. She had no idea how to begin processing the knowledge so she went to work. She needed to update her folders with the week's charts, analyze the effectiveness of her care plans and restorative care, reworking as necessary. Steve found her in front of a computer with open files and a pen.

"You have some explaining to do."he spoke softly from the doorway.

Nahvalia jumped at the sound, "I thought you dead." her voice authoritative in its accusation.

"I thought that was my line." he drew himself up to his full height and crossed his arms. She wants to get mad, he thought. That makes two of us.

"We aren't doing this here." she snapped. Her face dropped back to the screen as if to continue working.

Steve crossed the room taking her by the arm," Oh no, Stanton. We are not scheduling an appointment so you can dodge this. You aren't on anyone's payroll. Let's go."

"Fine." she seethed. She gathered her belongings. He followed her to her car. It in no way surprised him when she walked to the door of a black car radiating luxury, speed, and excess. He snorted. "What?" she snapped at him.

"It figures you'd drive something like this." He answered.

She said nothing, entered and started the car. Steve sighed before getting into the car. She drove to the farm rather than the townhouse. She was prepared for there to be raised voices. She didn't say a word. She turned on the music and glared through the windshield. He opened his mouth twice and gave up . There would be much talking and probably sooner than it was wanted.

Nick Fury had come to the hospital to take Rogers back home. He was unhappy to discover he was no longer there. A nurse told him Steve had gone to meet with Peggy then had spoken with Dr. Stanton. The name left a nagging sensation in Fury's mind. He spoke briefly with Peggy who had seemed to be speaking gibberish. He visited Stanton's office finding it scrupulously well maintained. He would curse not following his instincts later.

The gravel flew as she hauled the car to a quick halt and killed the ignition. She slammed the door and stomped to the front door. Steve counted to fifty trying not to start a fight in her yard. He gave a cursory glance around the interior of the house, checking for motion or noise. He glimpsed her and moved in that direction. She sat on a stool at the island. One hand held her chin the other a shot glass. He stood across from her glaring, she returned his look. She tossed the bourbon back and poured another. He looked from the single glass back at her several times. She snorted, shook her head and retrieved another for him. Putting it down sharply with a mocking smile she went to sit. She downed another drink, repoured and continued returning his silent glare.

"You need to start talking." She said, a low angry sound.

"I need to start talking!" Steve scoffed, "No ma'am. You tell me how you're still here looking like I just left you."

"I am currently providing healthcare to the woman who gave me news of your death. I apologize, but I must insist." her eyes narrowing. They took a shot together unintentionally. Steve refilled his glass.

"Fine. You joined, Bucky joined and I got denied. Repeatedly." He swallowed another glass and gestured for her to refill it. " At the '42 Stark expo, I met a Dr. Erskine. He gave me a shot because he could see something in me . He and Stark gave me a serum that altered my cells. Made me a super soldier. The doctor was shot and killed in front of me moments after the deed was finished. I was untested in the field, the greatest expert in my field had been killed, so instead of going into combat like my friends did: I went into bond sales. I toured the country with showgirls and filmed propaganda films for the Army.

You know what the worst part was? Walking into a theater and seeing you among the dead or injured. You know what was worse than that? Not seeing you, looking at the casualties from battle front and then reading these letters fuller of superficial details. You scared the shit out of me, Ash.

Then Peggy found me on an oversea tour for morale and told me the 107th had been captured. The Colonel didn't know if Buck was alive or dead. I had no second thoughts, I went after him. I found a lot of other men that day and a lot of enemy weapons. Bucky healed up and together we were going to end the war. Just like we always said we would. We'd hoped we'd find you along the way.

Bucky died falling from a train because I wasn't strong enough to save him. I went to go finish the mission. I saw a lot of things on that mission. Things I could not and cannot explain. My mission ended on a plane carrying bombs set to detonate in every American city without controls to land it. I determined my course based on what I thought I knew: Bucky was dead, I had to save those lives, and Peggy would move on. I downed that plane. What was my life when weighed against the measure of whole cities of people.

I was found in the Arctic. I woke up. Seventy years later, I woke up and went to work for the group that provided the technology to make the serum. I go to visit Peggy shocked shitless by the fact she's alive. And I find you. I find myself sitting across from a girl I know I grew up with and she hasn't aged a day. It's your turn, Ashton." his voice deep. He emptied his glass and waited.

Nahvalia filled it and hers. "You never thought to let me know you were alive." his voice rising at her in disbelief. "What the hell, Ash. You're supposed to be either very old or very dead. Why is Peggy calling you Talis?"

"It's a long fucking story." she growled.

"Well, oddly enough it seems like we have a really long time for you to tell it. Start talking before you piss me off further."

Nahvalia's hands itched struggling against the long forgotten desire to hurt something. Or in this case someone. She emptied her glass, took a deep breath, and had long moments thought. "Nahvalia. My name is Nahvalia. The rest of it and the title that follows are unimportant and meaningless here. I came to New York a very long time ago due to unforeseen circumstances. I arrived shortly after a wreck. I overheard sailors talking about a ship sunken not far from the harbor with no survivors. I assumed the name of the wife, sold a piece of jewelry and set about making a home for myself. I stayed in New York City until a personal tragedy caused me to flee. I returned there as my niece years later."

She waited for Steve to put the pieces together. "Wait. You're not Lady Stanton. You're The Lady Stanton." She nodded wearily and took a drink. He joined her and refilled for both of them.

"I missed the city. Then I met you and Bucky. The Depression. Then the war started. I have always been a healer, so I joined. Less than a year before the war ended I'm told I lost my best friends, my family. I'd been wandering the world since then until September 2001. I would have left when ground clean up was finished but I came back here and started to write. Once I started I couldn't stop. Dr. Landon called to see if I'd help with Peggy. Then I find you.

Only I didn't just find you alive, but a super soldier. I have your letters from the war, Steve. You never mentioned anything about it, though. You never said a word about Erskine, Carter, Stark or Bucky. You know I threatened to kill her when she told me you had died. Yet here you are looking healthier than I've ever seen you. What the fuck, Rogers." her eyes glittered dangerously close to purple.

"You left us behind, Ash! Sorry, Nahvalia. You left. Becca, Buck, and I helped you pack and board. We started getting these letters telling us about beds and around us we were hearing our friends die. So, we enlisted, no- Buck enlisted. He left me to go gather scraps. You treated me like a child. You both went to war but poor little Steve was too weak to go. He could stay behind with Becca.

You have no idea what it was like for me. You, Mom, Buck and Becca had me convinced I could do anything. I never doubted myself in anything other than being your social equal. Then they wouldn't let me go. I was being told to stay behind and let you two leave to die. No. So when Dr. Erskine said there was something I could do, by God I jumped at the chance."

"You know what, Rogers? I'm not able to talk about this with you anymore. I will see you in the morning. Find a room. I'll take you back into town in the morning." Nahvalia staggered to her room and Steve let her go without wanting to help.

He prowled the house looking for a place to sleep. His heart broke when he found the first room. The walls were hung with vintage Dodgers posters. It had lace panels and a set of red plaid curtains over them, just like they'd had with Winifred and Sarah. The footlocker with lock intact read 'Barnes'. Steve went to the next room finding similar decor only in blue. The locked, unopened footlocker looked familiar. It bore the name Rogers. Unable to sort through that many feelings at once Steve Rogers went to sleep under the roof of the new Stanton House.


	14. Ameliorating

May 2012

She said nothing to him when he walked into the living room the next morning. He offered her nothing to begin a conversation. There was no space for what they felt. No words could quite capture both the relief and depth of hurt, so each held their silence. Almost as if the tentative peace was so fragile air would shatter it. They communicated through a series of grunts and gestures. He emptied his coffee cup when he heard the keys rattle and followed the noise. She was ready to go to work, he was ready to leave. He needed to report for duty.

She drove him to his motorcycle. He hesitated before leaving the vehicle. He wore a frown, the result of deep thought. Impulsively, he pulled her into a half hug and kissed the top of her head. "We aren't done talking yet, but I want you to know I'm glad you're here."

She relented then and hugged him back. "Now you know where I live. Don't be a stranger."

Nahvalia went back to her routine: school, hospital, and nursing home. Weeks slipped by without a word from Steve. She didn't concern herself. She knew he was busy, she knew he'd be in touch.

 

Stuttgart, Germany

Fury had asked him to join this mission. Steve had been briefed but it had lacked detail. Standing among the kneeling people attempting to stop the threat with little to no violence his mind fleetingly thought of Nahvalia. He should have called her, she was going to be very upset if she were to find out about this. Together, he and Stark with some assistance from Natasha in the quinjet, they captured the thief and made their way back to the helicarrier.

New York City

It was almost ten in the morning when Nahvalia's class was interrupted to tell all of the students' school had adjourned for the day so everyone could run for their lives. Nahvalia turned her phone on and checked the news. There were aliens flying over New York city and the damage around Columbus Circle was horrendous. She ran to her car, tossing her books in the back and started driving in the direction of the emergency. Years in the field had trained her well. She drove as far as she could, abandoned her car when she could go no further. She grabbed her medical backpacks and ran into the violence to assist the casualties.

Thor took Loki into custody. SHIELD would hold him temporarily. The group gathered to see if there was anything they could do to help. Tony overheard one of the officers tell the emergency medical staff to take some of the injured to Columbia as they had staff ready and the hospitals were overflowing. Tony reported this news to the team. Steve grew instantly concerned and called Nahvalia. 

She answered on the third ring. He could hear wailing and sirens in the background,"Hello?" She sounded tense.

"Where are you?" he demanded.

"Uh...I think we're in a bank right now. Heading over to some store fronts to set some limbs next."

"You're here?" his voice becoming strident.

"Uh yeah. Saw you on the news fighting aliens and opted to assist with collateral damage. Figured you hadn't gone to all this trouble to save them for them to die of shock or bleed out in the streets." her voice was calm, yet sarcastic. 

"What bank?"

"Hang on a sec. Where are we? I need the address. An overgrown Boy Scout wants to lend assistance. " A voice answered her, Steve relayed the address to Stark. "Did you get all of it?"

"Yeah. Do you need anything? Backboards? Bandages? A new brain?" he quipped. 

"Negative on the last item, thank you. Save the vitriol for another time. Anything medical would be great. A couple of ambulances, maybe the National Guard. No, wait, I think they're arriving now. Oh! A Red Bull. Like, bad."

"On it. Be careful," he instructed.

"Sure. Got it. Red Bull." she disconnected the call. He found her ten minutes later.

 

By six o'clock that evening the Avengers needed a break. Tony forced them to join him for shawarma. It was bliss just to sit down. They had defeated aliens, taken down Loki, saved the city from a nuclear missile, and followed it up by helping clean up the mess at the behest of a demon. Nahvalia had been merciless and she was still out there.

Thor, Steve, and Tony had been clearing debris so the emergency vehicles could get through. Clint, Natasha, and Bruce were charged with triage. Nahvalia and the EMT's were stabilizing the injured for transport. For the most part, it was down to cuts and bruises, then it was into the damaged buildings to look for survivors. Steve wanted her out of there before that began if it hadn't already. He sent her a text and minutes later she walked through the door. 

"Is that her?" Tony asked. Steve nodded and moved to embrace her both to ensure she was safe and because of her bravery. Tony rose to order food for her. Natasha wordlessly offered her a bottle of water. Steve grabbed a couple of chairs while she chugged the bottle after which she flopped down and propped her feet up. Thor merely stared dumbfounded. Nahvalia tipped her head up and met his eye. She returned his stare apprehensively, her eyes darting sporadically toward the exit. Tony returned with her food and immediately noticing tension and the staring contest.

"So I'm Tony Stark. You were awesome out there. Rogers told us how you were organizing the cleanup. And this is weird."

"Do you know him?" Steve asked glancing between Nahvalia and Thor.

They stared at each other for several moments more. Thor broke it with an awed whisper,"How did this come to pass? I'd forgotten you completely until you walked through that door. Whose sorcery is this?" he asked his anger rising.

She blinked and answered," My Heart's brother this is not the time, nor venue, for such conversation. Be satisfied in this moment that the sorcery performed was by my own hand. We will need to discuss it, but at a location less conspicuous in nature." 

"As you wish, but you will answer for this," Thor replied frowning.

"Well now that nothing's been answered and we're all confused, I say we call it a night. You're all staying with me. Even, no especially you mystery girl." Tony insisted.

"Nahvalia." Thor, Steve, and Nahvie answered in unison. The rest of the team gaped at them in astonishment and suspicion.

"Oooh-kay. Creepy." Tony said. "Go get clothes. No streaking when Pepper comes home."

Nahvalia grabbed Thor and Steve silently. She was too tired to talk or try to explain. She walked through the doors of Saks Fifth Avenue and deposited her bags on a chair. She tiredly massaged the spot between her eyebrows as she waited for the sales associate. Shortly a store ambassador appeared fully prepared to have them leave the store. "I'm sorry ma'am , but we.."Nahvalia pulled out a credit card bearing the name Talis Stanton and handed it over without opening her eyes. The ambassador gasped, "Miss Stanton, I beg your pardon. You normally aren't so disheveled. What can we do for you?"

"Clothes for the gentlemen to start, please? Do not let either of them argue with you." A skeptical glance was sent at Thor and Steve.

"Right this way, Sirs." A lady instructed as she led them away.

"Make sure they get grooming items as well," Nahvalia called out the afterthought. She leveled her gaze at the young woman selected to help her. "Now lets you and I get started with a drink shall we?" Nahvalia suggested before dragging herself out of the chair to do her own shopping.

An hour and six bags later, they had pajamas, clothes for the following day and the necessaries for a shower and rising preparations. A taxi waited to take them to the tower. Nahvalia rested her exhausted head on Steve's shoulder. She was asleep in seconds only to jolt awake when the car stopped. After collecting their bags from the trunk, they entered the building where they were ushered into an elevator. The doors opened and Tony was there to greet them. 

He eyed the name on the sides of the bags in surprise. A signature smirk appeared on his face. "I know I said get clothes, but Saks? Surely I'm not quite that discriminative no matter what you've heard. I am flattered, however." 

"We had to get several things for the evening and it was one stop. Talis Stanton shops there almost exclusively." Nahvalia intoned exhausted.

"Wait a minute, I recognize you. You attended a fundraiser I did right after I got out of weapons. You are Talis Stanton. I hit on you that night and you turned me down. You wanted me to help sponsor a scholarship to allow high-performing nurses to be able to attend school to become doctors, I asked if you wanted to play doctor with me. What was the other name they gave?" 

"Yes, Mr. Stark you remember correctly. I am also Nahvalia Talis Ja'Darehn. Princess of Alfheim. Right now what is more important than all of that is the need for a shower and sleep. You requested we come here to receive all of that. So please, show us to our accommodations and we can continue this on the morrow. Or allow us to take our leave."

"This way," Tony said quickly.

Nahvalia's room was located between Steve and Thor's though not by design. The bed in that room was just smaller than the others. She showered and threw herself into bed, not allowing herself a chance to think. Sleep claimed her quickly. 

Thor lay in bed organizing his thoughts, framing a timeline. He could track the changes in his family's behavior from the time Nahvalia's memories were taken. He recalled Frigga's sudden sadness, Loki's aloof avoidance, and Odin's closed mindedness. Thor's own narcissism. All coincided with the withdrawal of her quiet nature to call out the best in them. He could see now what had happened. Speculated on Frigga's involvement and subsequent pain. He could forgive his mother, maybe after they had spoken he could even forgive Nahvalia, if on;y he could understand her reasons for leaving.

Steve lay awake as well, his motivations the same as Thor's. He knew she had left a great deal out when she had told him who she was. He wasn't angry with her about that, well not entirely. He was proud to know she would rush into danger to help another without hesitation. Honestly, he should have anticipated it. Yet he found he was frustrated with her for that reason. No, that wasn't the truth either. He was upset because she'd done it and hadn't called to tell him. He knew it was unreasonable as he thought it. She'd seen him on the news. She knew he was busy, she also knew people were in danger. It wasn't even really about the lack of a phone call. She had rushed into a perilous situation without him knowing. The same as he had. He wanted her safe. He wanted to know he could go home and she would be there. That was why he tossed in the bed.

Loki didn't sleep. Didn't try. He was afraid to. He had failed. The torment promised was forthcoming with alacrity and he refused to give it assistance. Now he would never know who the girl was, how she knew him or what being king of Midgard would be like. He refused to give in to the 'what-if's' of his mind. They were dangerous. They could lull him to sleep, they often had in the past. No, he wanted no part of sleep and yet if he could have walked the snowy forest, he would have been happy.

 

Nahvalia rose, showered again and dressed for the day. She knew she would face a lot of questions today and she always felt better prepared in a dress. It was a pale gray, she'd bought shoes to match. She tidied the room, gathered her things and double checked to make sure she had everything before heading to the kitchen area. A disembodied voice had provided directions. 

Yesterday, the team had encountered the college student. Albeit a grime and blood covered bossy doctoral student, but a student nonetheless. Today, they would meet the savvy business woman who had amassed a fortune from not but the shrewd sale of a link of a bracelet. She settled the bags beside the kitchen door giving the room's occupants a calculating glance. Stark had yet to make an appearance. Thor and Steve were blessedly absent as well. The spies were giving her the same gauging stare in return. They all traded smiles with each other. Nahvalia shifted her eyes at their cups Then back to their faces. Clint picked up his coffee, indicating the cabinet behind her. She turned precisely on heel moving to get a cup and turning back in the same fluid manner to offer refills. They nodded in response. Nahvalia slightly inclined her head after returning the pot. As if in a rehearsed routine, they all leaned against the counter. Silence reigned among them like a test. 

As observant, as she was Nahvalia was in the presence of a team with a lengthy history. They had established a thousand non-verbal cues and a series of tells for a million scenarios. She missed it when Nat ran her tongue over her right incisor, Clint hadn't.

"So I'm Clint. This is Natasha and you are Nahvalia, right?" 

"Yes. I am also known as Talis Nahvalia Stanton," she spoke smiling.

"Good. Glad we got that out of the way." the gentleman with the dirty blond hair said with a sardonic smile.

"Anything else we need to know?" the redhead asked abrasively from her vantage point. Ah, Nahvalia thought, my bad cop. 

"Oh yeah." Nahvalia purred caustically, "I've been around for almost five hundred years." she straightened from the counter. "But that's second date material, Darling." she winked at the redhead. 

Natasha's smile was genuine at last. " A second date? I think we'll keep you." 

"I look forward to it," Nahvalia smiled matching Natasha's sincerity of expression, raising her coffee in salute.

"Don't anyone get up and rush to greet me, but I am here," Tony announced straightening his jacket. "No breakfast will be served due to the panic caused by yesterday's festivities. So now, if you don't mind, we get a criminal out of SHIELD's basement and a god off my forty-first floor. Sound good? Let's move people. Chop chop."

Thor's disappointment was plainly written on his face. "No morning feast? No, send off party."

"No Point Break, you get to take Goat Boy home and collect accolades there," Tony said patting his shoulder.

Thor turned suddenly cold eyes on Nahvalia, "What of you? Surely you will be coming with me to give an accounting of your actions?"

"Nay, dear friend. I have no accounting to offer. Your memories of me have reawakened while Loki's have not. Whatever fate lies in store for him, I can be no part of. It would only cause us more pain." Nahvalia answered sadly.

"Asgard's Halls will always be and should have always been your home. You were raised with us. Surely that must mean something. Do not forget that again." Thor intoned gravely.

"Thor, I will not be the further cause of his pain and suffering. Better he does not have the added burden of memory as well." Nahvalia countered stiffly before bowing her head.

Thor relented slightly," Dearest Sister, always thinking of others. I shall honor your wishes. I make but one request. That you not forget there are others in our family that have missed you and do not deserve the pain of your loss because of Loki."

She smiled up at him bravely,"I shall not forget."

"Let's get this over with," Steve said leaning against the door frame. He frowned from Thor to Nahvalia and back again.

Everyone readied themselves to leave. Nahvalia bent to retrieve her things when steve's hand on her arm stopped her. She looked at him in question. "I am sure you won't have school today and you worked hard enough yesterday. Are you going home?" he asked plainly.

"I am." she answered her eyebrow creeping up her forehead as she straightened.

"Alright." he sighed. "I am going to finish this and I will meet you there."

"Of course." came her professional response. She took up her bags and headed for the door. Happy waited to drive her to her car.

Steve's voice halted her,"Nahvie?"

"Yes?" she asked over her shoulder.

"Do you mind making breakfast? I'm starving."

She smiled brightly," Call me when you're ten minutes out. I want the eggs to be warm." Steve smiled in answer.


	15. Adumbration

Nahvalia had bacon and toast ready and was finishing his omelet when he entered. This wasn't a conversation either of them was looking forward to. They had managed to avoid it for almost a month since the last they'd had it in this same room. Procrastination had never been something either of them excelled at.

"So I didn't tell you everything and for that, I apologize. I think my reasons are a bit clearer now."

Steve set down his fork and placed his face in his hand rubbing at this forehead. "Damn Nahvie, just as delicate with a hard subject as ever I see." He picked up his fork and attacked his omelet, finishing it before he spoke again. He took a sip of coffee as he puzzled over her. "I think that you should add a few more details next time we have another 'I'm not what you think I am' talks. In fact, I think you owe me every last damned detail you left out last time."

She gave him the irritatingly familiar expression of one offended and judgementally raised eyebrow. He closed his eyes as he resisted the urge to shake the look from her face. "You , Sir, have spent altogether too much time with Anthony Stark. His penchant for sarcasm is apparently contagious and you are losing your charmingly innocent demeanor."

Steve stood sharply from his chair and marched straight down to her face, noses barely an inch apart, and he began walking her backward. "What all have you not told me, Stanton. 'Cause you've no reason to hide from me."

Her back smacked up against a wall halting her retreat, forcing her to stand straighter and for the first time acknowledge the newly glaring size difference. Her mouth went dry and her breath became thready. She chewed her lip swollen before she answered him."Let's start with the full name and title, shall we? I am Princess Royal Nahvalia Ja'Darehn. Keeper of the Sacred Peace. Light of the Nine Realms. Or would you rather hear about the betrothal to Loki that caused me to flee here?"

Steve fell back and sat down hard in his chair. He watched her suck her lower lip back between her teeth, her eyes darting everywhere that wasn't him. He finished his coffee in deep thought. "Dear God, Nahvalia. How much more are you leaving out?"

"Well," she wavered indecisively, "About three hundred- fifty years give or take a couple." she sighed.

"Nahvie-"

"Alright. It just sounds like a pity party when I tell the story. I get lost in memories and retrospect. It's not a flattering tale."

"Nahvalia, you knew Thor. None of us knew Thor. I need to know what you know. What if something like this were to happen again? We could help save a lot of people. You could help us save a lot of people. Please, just let it out. You're my best friend."

"I am a light elf of Alfheim. There aren't many of us left, which is good because as a whole we are perceived as a threat." She started slowly.

"Why would your people be considered a threat? To who? Thor?" Steve asked incredulously.

"We are considered a threat to the Nine Realms. My people are powerful sorcerers and natural healers. We aren't a war-like people, but with the wrong monarch the results would be devastating. My grandfather, the Watchers, and Odin's father reviewed the consequences of possible corruption that such power could cause that we as a people are no longer allowed to intermarry. Should we choose to marry it would be best if our allegiances are spread throughout the Realms. Should they choose not to marry they were still free to live to completion on Alfheim. Some opted to live among the Watchers, others with the Shi'arn people. My family, being the reigning monarchs, are sent abroad to continue the line of Keepers of the Sacred Peace. I was sent to Asgard because of the relationship my parents had with the royal family.

"What is a Keeper of the Sacred Peace?" Steve queried with unfeigned interest.

"We are protectors of Universal essences. Should these tools be used in an improper or war-like manner we can and will call to war all peoples against those who refuse to honor the Cosmic peace."

Steve had to know more, " What does the Light of the Nine Realms mean?"

He watched her wrestle with words, worrying her lip as she did so." The Light of the Nine Realms is taught the magic to stop the essences should the entity that gains use of them prove too daunting an enemy to be defeated. For eons, those have simply served as titles.

My father had a vision early in his childhood that the bearer of these titles would have to learn the skills necessary to have earned them. It was demanded of me that I am capable to function in both capacities. My mother told him he was being fatalistic. Several disagreements sprang up between them as a result. After a time, Mother said my time at their sides had long passed. She sent me to Frigga for proper royal training and to pick an Asgardian prince to wed." She paused allowing Steve to process what she'd told him.

"How old were you when you were sent away?"

"Almost one hundred. That would have made me the equivalent to four or five among humans."

"Geez." Steve sighed. " How - no- Why would you pick Loki?"

"He understood my loneliness. We could discuss magic. Both of us were quiet, bookish children, boisterousness not something we were inclined to. It made sense really. I was very timid when I arrived in Asgard. I gave Loki someone to protect. I'm sure our parents were thrilled at first." Steve snorted. Nahvalia frowned.

"Think about it thusly: You have astronomical power in the form of a young girl, who must wed. If she and her partner are allowed to choose with love, he will desire to protect her as a result of his feelings. It was ideal really until he discovered what I just told you."

"So what happened?"

"I was overcome with reservations. He no longer looked at me the same. The closer the date came the more I caught him appraising me as if I were a weapon or a tool. I had a contingency plan to make my escape. I came here knowing this would be the last place he would look for me."

Steve considered this for a moment, considered her. Nahvalia looked forlorn and small. He could picture her, younger, with scant possessions. Foreign, scared and very hurt standing in rough old, New York City. It was a testament to her character she had done so well with such meager tools and experiences at her disposal.

Nahvalia continued her narrative," I told you about how I hid when I arrived. Constance was an absolute treasure to me. I couldn't have accomplished any of it without her. There was your mother, the Barnes', Sasha and, of course, you. On Asgard with the exception of Thor's family, I was not well liked. Here it was as if I'd truly come home. For a time it did anyway." she concluded with a bittersweet smile.

Steve surveyed the table before him as he collected his thoughts. He chose business over emotion. "I assume Loki isn't the only reason you kept changing your name. If you are a natural healer why do you keep going to medical school?"

"So that I don't arouse suspicion. I don't want to be known as a miracle healer. It draws attention. In our current time, the last thing I want is to be trapped in a lab, so I can be classified. If I know what is plausible to heal I can fix it and no one is any wiser." she responded reflexively.

"Well I doubt we can keep you off of SHIELD's radar now." he mumbled under his breath.

She stared sightlessly, "That is true."

Steve looked at her sharply," How do you - Peggy." he expelled his breath. "Fury will want to know everything you do about the dangers in the larger universe."

She continued on as before,"He would be foolish not to."

"You haven't scared me away Nahvalia. I'm still here. You're still my best friend." He told her offering a half smile.

That jolted her from her thoughts,"What?"

"I said: I'm still here. You're still my best friend. You haven't scared me away."

"Oh yeah? I have one more thing to tell you," she said to the floor.

"What?" Steve said rising to get another cup of coffee. He blew at the steam needing to comfort of the warmth and caffeine after this little chat.

"I can read your mind." She told him. "I don't because I think it's rude and I hate it when it's done to me. I just wanted you to know."

"Thank you."

Asgard

Loki was less than repentant as he was forced to his cell. He didn't attempt to hide the disgust from his face as he was subjected to endure his punishment among the dregs Asgard had to offer. His visage haughty, disdainful of his surroundings. They would suffice. For now. A cold smirk worked its way across features known for their ambiguity. This was the perfect environment to allow the ideas to fester, fuel the hatred in his heart for Odin, and perhaps discover why the only time he felt warm and complete was in an icy forest in someone else's mind.

Thor waited until Loki had been drawn away, outdistanced from even a sorcerer's hearing. Thor knew Odin needed to speak with him urgently , yet his own need must have satisfaction first. 'Father,if I may have a moment with Mother?" his voice tempered by reason. Odin frowned at Frigga, offering no hindrance to their conversation by leaving the room.

Frigga smiled with affection at Thor,"My s-."

"Mother . Stop." Thor's chest heaving with the emotional upheaval. "Mother I found Nahvalia on Midgard." Thor was not as well acquainted with Frigga as Loki but he knew his mother. He watched her weigh his words, watched her reaction to them.

"I had hoped she would remain better hidden. Did Loki see her?"

Thor frowned,"No. She tended to the casualties."

Frigga nodded satisfied at his words. "Good."

"Mother, you know somewhat about this. You must tell me. I was tempted to force her return and you tell me you hoped she'd be better hidden. What is the meaning of this?"

Frigga sighed. "Pour some wine and sit. The telling will take more than a moment."

New York City

Nick Fury had done his research. Things of this nature drew his interest. Since the Civil War, a doctor Stanton had always stepped forward to defend the country in some capacity. All of them had made the mistake of being photographed. Never as the subject or even directly, but as the field doctor in the background. Each of them had a reputation for admirable poise under stress and an unexplainable track record for saving lives. He admitted whoever she was, she was good.

She would have passed Fury's scrutiny had it not been for Stark's report of the Chitauri incident. That and the name signing each of Carter's prescriptions. Stark had also mentioned an apparent connection to both Rogers and Thor. Fury hoped she was close to both. These friendships and her massive fortune could prove vital. He felt no remorse when he asked Hill to get her phone number.

Nahvalia had finished loading the dishwasher when an unfamiliar number sent her a text message. Steve had left to file his report on the previous day's calamity. She read the message her head shaking in lamentation. It had taken less time than she'd expected. She went up the stairs to freshen up before heading out for her meeting.

Fury's eye widened in surprise looking at the car she'd pulled up in, it was supposed to have been a prototype only. He found himself mildly impressed. She dressed well, better than most people in general not to mention a med student. She wore a light wool tailored suit in charcoal gray, not black. Her shoes were as practical as they were fashionable. Nothing flashy to draw attention, but without question expensive. This girl knew how to hide, he acknowledged with respect.

"Colonel Fury." she extended her hand. "Nahvalia Stanton."

"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice." he took her hand. She had a nice firm handshake.

"What may I do for you, Colonel?"

"That's an interesting question, Doctor. I asked you here to thank you for your one hundred- fifty plus years of service to this country." he waited for her reaction.

"I assure you to was my honor to do so." came her collected reply.

"So you aren't going to try to deny my implication?" Fury found her honesty refreshing.

"I'm not in the habit of equivocating, Colonel."

"Please call me Fury Dr. Stanton."

"Then you must call me Nahvalia. I'm afraid only two people in my life have ever referred to me by my last name only and it was never a good thing. Besides, I believe we both acknowledge Dr. Stanton to be my alias."

"You say you aren't in the practice of perjury , so tell me why you are here."

Nahvalia assessed him, "You'll want something to drink, as this is quite a lengthy story and I believe you know some of the players. There's a coffee shop near here where I like to go."

"Sounds good. Lead the way." A few hours and several cups of coffee later Fury had a new physician. He watched her leave silently cursing surprises.

Nahvalia texted Steve telling him to return to the tower after work and she would pick him up. She went to the townhouse and readied her guest room. She had to tell him she had met with Fury. This was the first time her identity was known to someone who had no loyalty to her. It had rattled her, but she saw no way to avoid it. She didn't want to be alone. She recognized and admitted the childish nature of such a thing, but that would not stop her from asking Steve to stay. She left to purchase clothing for him.

Steve agreed and she met him outside at six o'clock that night. He had criticized her direction when she pulled away from the tower. She only smirked and continued to the townhouse. She pulled into the garage and killed the engine. She turned to find him shaking his head, shoulders quaking from silent laughter. "What the hell?"

"You are unbelievable, you know that?"

"What?" she demanded.

"You realize what neighborhood your townhouse is in, don't you?"

She blushed, prettily he thought. "Of course, I do. He was so upset when I sold the other house, I had to buy one near it. It was a way to keep.....Get out of the car please."

"Sure." he couldn't disguise the lingering amusement in his voice.

She snorted at him and unlocked the door, turning the lights on as she moved. Steve looked around, this was clearly the house she worked out of. The calendar here was covered in notes and highlighter. Her desk in the office off from the kitchen was piled with books.

"Your room is this way," she said moving down a hallway to the left. He followed the footsteps growing more distant. He stood in the doorway looking at the clothes folded neatly on the bed. He glanced askance at her, pleased to see her cheeks color again.

"You have too much time and money, Stanton."

"You are ... are..." she trailed off, lacking words she turned on a heel and left back the way they'd come.

Steve followed her laughing all the while. He caught her and spun her around. "What am I Nahvie?"

"You are impossible."

"What is the matter with you?"

"Nothing is the matter with me. I have just had a trying couple of days. I met your boss today. When were you going to tell me about SHIELD? Really tell me about it? The part where you work for them? You should have come clean about that this morning." she accused.

"Nahvalia, your revelations this morning were rather jolting to me. Excuse me if my job slipped my mind." He said, his voice dropping an octave.

"It's fine, Steve. I just...You didn't..." she growled in exasperation and continued to move into the kitchen. Steve followed her.

"Nahvalia. Nahvalia. Nahvalia!" he called as she continued through the kitchen toward the garage. He grabbed her arm once again. "What is the matter with you?"

"You were perfect just the way you were. Now here you are....," her voice hitched in her throat, "Now you are here. You are too tall." She wrapped him in her arms, head barely reaching the middle of his chest where she rested her cheek as she tried not to cry.

Steve returned her hug. It felt better than he thought it would holding her close like this. He kissed the top of her head smiling, "You feel so small and fragile."

"No one offered me anything to grow a foot, develop the body of a god, and keep my sparkling personality." her voice was muffled from speaking into him.

"Body of a god, huh?" he teased.

Nahvalia choked on the words she had been about to say, going for" I have known a few." instead."Don't let the compliment go to your head."

He chuckled at her. "So, you met with Fury?"

"Yup." she answered before resuming the gnawing of her lip.

"I take it you had no time to cook, then."

She rolled her eyes,"I'll order pizza."


	16. Predestinate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Boy on boy intercourse, profanity. NSFW

They had settled on the couch for dinner. Nahvalia had told Steve she believed television rotted one's mind. He was determined to prove otherwise. He looked through the library of movies and settled on 'The Shootist', a movie he had seen several times. He watched Nahvalia's face, she was enraptured by the story flinching as each of the story's conflicts occurred. At the movie's completion, she sat at the very edge of the couch tears falling silently down her cheek.

He reached over to swipe it away, gently chiding "Nahvie, it's just a movie."

She smiled embarrassed," I know, but it was such good story telling I got sucked right in." He chuckled quietly as he pulled her back to his chest. When she felt she had recovered enough of her composure she slid from his arms and stood. "Thank you." she scratched her head with nervous energy. " I think I'm going to bed now." He nodded and rose as well.

She stood as if rooted, her mind running options. She settled for hugging him again, her face pressed to his chest, he looked down at her confused. Nahvalia didn't like to be touched. What was going on? Her voice indistinct," I'm happy you are here. Good night. Sweet dreams." she lifted her head from his chest and pulled his face down to her kissing his cheek. She disappeared upstairs to her room.

The spot she had kissed burned as if he'd been branded. He turned off the television and walked to his room. After setting aside the pile of clothes she'd left for him he grabbed a pair of cotton pajama pants and moved to the bathroom. She had arrayed toiletries of a mind- boggling variety for him on the counter. Too much time and money, he thought, shaking his head. Once finished he climbed into the bed, grateful for its brick-like firmness. His eyes drifted to the ceiling absorbing the quiet and calm he felt here. It was a kindness given the restless nature of his thoughts.

Nahvalia showered, dressed and lay down to sleep, warm tears sliding down her face. After all this time it was strange not to be alone anymore. To have a friend. Someone she could be completely honest with. She could share her fear with Steve. It was a relief, a blessing. Nahvie whispered her thanks to Constance and Frigga as she allowed sleep to claim her.

Asgard

Loki's mother had assured him the Other could not penetrate the walls of his prison. He was satisfied with that at least. He lay on the undersized cot that served as his bed and tried to stop his loathing of the place. Here he could, at last, walk unmolested in the snowy forest. He oscillated with the idea of trying. He could not endure another battlefield. The library where the girl had spent almost ten years would not have been so bad had she but once turned from the window. He sighed, resigned to whatever dream would take him.

His dream took him to a stone cottage. The lights were out meaning she wasn't here but he felt her peace though he knew they were very distant from each other. He walked through pastures and trees that were unfamiliar. Animals would come to live here, he could feel her intention. He looked around her home and had decided to cease haunting her dreams when he heard the echo of her laughter which was joined by a man's. Loki cast about for the source but all he could catch were the echoes. The tingling sound of her joyousness was a jagged knife in Loki's heart. Her mirth was not for him, with him. Irritated he fled the dream. Upon waking, the plotting commenced. If he were to be denied happiness he saw no reason for anyone else to have it.

New York City

Nahvalia rose and headed down to the kitchen to start her coffee. She stood in front of her refrigerator looking at its dismal contents. Grabbing her phone she called the grocery store and gave them a list of items to deliver. She poured a cup and tried to remember breakfast recipes, recalling where she had learned them and found herself smiling. Her mind begged the obvious question of how often had she made breakfast for another. The answer to the question was once and never on this scale. Grinning manically she opened the door accepting the bags of food. She was going to create a feast or at least that was the hope.

Steve's nose was lying to him. It told him of bacon, eggs, coffee and his mother's hashbrowns. The bed was equal parts hard and soft. It was warm like a summer cloud. His eyes revealed the unfamiliar room with an equally unfamiliar yet beautiful view. Feeling like he was trapped in a fantastic dream he got up to follow the smells. He stared in disbelief at the scene in the kitchen.

The island was covered in a dazzling array of dishes. plates of bacon,ham, minute steaks, and sausage. Biscuits and gravy, hashbrowns, pancakes and a bowl of fruit. Adding the final touch to his plate was Nahvalia in a dress that would have once passed as a slip. Louis Armstrong was singing about smiling in the background and she looked like something worth smiling for. Steve cleared his throat.

"Good morning! I was going to bring you breakfast in bed. I hope you're hungry." She beamed at him. They talked about the war. Steve told her about Peggy. She told him about her time serving in the various wars. Not the gory bits and definitely not the rougher aspects of the fighting. She told him of their strategies and down time with the few friends she'd made. They reminisced about their shared life in New York, agreed in astonishment over what had remained the same and the changes.

Steve told her everything about SHIELD and his job. He told her about Fury, Romanov, and Barton. He told her how Peggy had helped found the organization, had been its first director. He was excited to be a part of the team. together they cleaned up breakfast and Nahvie offered to drive him out to the farm and show him around. Steve retired to his room, donning clothes she'd purchased while she went up to change. Habit had him making his bed, afterward, he went upstairs to find her doing the same thing. He watched and was struck by a sad thought. What had she done with the house they'd lived in before they'd gone to war? He recalled the room he'd found at the farmhouse, Nahvalia had remade spaces to remind her of those she'd made for them at Stanton house. Unwilling to bring her pain her didn't ask as she drove. She kept her music just a tad too loud for a conversation to be easy. He caught her eye with a knowing smile and let her drive.

Steve was falling in love with her farm. There were a peace and calm that one could not find in the city. The air was substantially cleaner, allowing a person to truly get a breath of fresh air. She had a garden, a barn, and an orchard. It took him back to the Stanton House of old with the benefit of more space. She had a crew to tend the grounds and they performed their duty with skill. They enjoyed a walk through the orchard as she inspected her fruit trees.

They returned to the house to cook dinner together. Nahvalia tended to the house herself as she was the only one who stayed her here and that occurred only on weekends. The conversation entered new territory for them: dream trips. Nahvalia admitted to all of the places she wanted to see and never had. Steve simply could not believe she hadn't seen them already. She offered a small shame-faced smile with the explanation of 'being too busy' before she asked him for his list of destinations.

Steve wandered into his room after dinner. He found two boxes situated on the bed. Curious, he removed the lid and was blown away to discover his World War II sketchbooks and several unmailed letters. He thumbed through the topmost sketchbook shaking his head in warm memory. He picked up the box and returned to the kitchen where Nahvie was indulging in another glass of wine. He gauged her level of inebriation. Since she was a vegan and normally refrained from imbibing she was inclined to get drunk with celerity.

"Did you look at any of this?" he asked, looking at a drawing he'd done of her after his mother had died.

"Of course not." her lips quirked up in a small smile. "It wasn't mine. I always told myself I'd get around to it, never did. The other is Bucky's."

"How did you get these?" he asked her almost afraid to think of Bucky's box lying undisturbed over all those years. "Why would they send them to you?"

"I was the last person on your list of contacts," she whispered. "I think Peggy did it and I've never thanked her for it. It occurs to me how awful I've been to that lovely woman. She deserved so much more from me."

"You're doing the right thing now." Steve's attention was drawn back to the contents of the box. He pulled out letters from Bucky and started to read:

Hey Punk,

It's my first day in Italy and all I'm thinking about is home. As I got on the train a bunch of girls from an academy got on in these great little dresses and all I could think about was Ash. Which, of course, has me thinking about you and how we left things.

Steve quickly folded the letter and set the box on the floor. "Peggy is one of a kind. Kinda like you in a way. I...I think you may have had an influence on girls I was attracted to." Steve stopped abruptly.

"What?" Nahvalia asked giggling.

Steve was so taken aback by the noise he blushed and lowered his head. "It's nothing. I-I'll tell you another time."

She offered him a lop-sided grin."Is it something in the letters?"

Steve smiled. "Well you know. It was just me and Buck talking about me and Buck stuff."

His mind called to memory a specific night. Nahvalia was just days from leaving and Bucky had taken him to a bar to drink away their mutual frustration. Steve was angry at the warlike rhetoric Bucky was spouting.Steve had already been denied entry once and with war looming and Nahvie leaving he felt discounted and unimportant. Bucky knew they'd take him. He stood at the bar declaring how he would give the Nazis one look at him before they ran screaming for their bunkers. As the sycophants cheered Bucky on Steve's disgust grew until he stormed from the bar. He was prepared to allow his anger to propel him the distance back to the house. A hand on his arm roughly spun him in place. He glared into Bucky's angry face.

"Where do ya think you're going?" Bucky demanded, words just barely slurred.

"Away from people who don't care enough about you to stop you from believing a load of shit." Steve spat.

"Oh, so now it's a load of shit, huh? I know what this is about and it ain't gonna work." Bucky's whistle pierced the night and a cab rounded the corner. He shoved Steve inside.

"Where too?" asked the gentleman.

"The nearest hotel. I've got to sleep this off before I go home to the little woman." Bucky smirked.

"Do you care which one?" the driver asked cautiously.

"Nah. As long as it ain't the Ritz, pal. Then I'd have a lot of explaining to do." The driver nodded knowingly and drove them to a hotel a couple blocks away.

Bucky handed him money for the fair and a generous tip before exiting the vehicle. Steve took his place under Bucky's arm to steady him, inwardly fuming at the current situation. Bucky took a room and handed Steve the key trusting his friend to the remember the number as Bucky's mind was growing fuzzy. Steve opened the door and immediately allowed Bucky's arm to drop meaning Bucky fell to the floor when Steve embarked on his tirade.

Bucky watched Steve's eyes flash fire at him from the floor. Somewhere inside of him he knew he should have been listening but couldn't resist the lust rising within at the passion in his friend's eyes. He recalled Steve writhing beneath him. He wanted more. He silently cursed the fact that he'd failed to prepare for this properly as he rose and took Steve's mouth with his own. Steve stiffened briefly and then fought for dominance. This was a first! Bucky allowed it, his lips and tongue softened letting Steve set the pace. Steve was brutal in his anger. His teeth chewing at Bucky's lip and sucking at his tongue.

Steve used his diminutive size to march Bucky back to the bed. He watched Bucky fall. He watched the breath catch in his throat. Bucky watched those sky blue eyes darken with unbridled desire. He tore at the shirt that separated him from Steve. Buttons flew as a result of his haste. Never in his life had Bucky wanted something so much as he did Steve in this moment. Steve glared in anger yet as Bucky fumbled with his belt and button. He flung his pants across the room in such haste, hair blew back on Steve's brow. Still, Steve wore a look of disproval. Bucky stripped further until he lay naked and prone before Steve on the bed. Bucky's breath came shallow with desire and anticipation. Steve took his finger in his mouth and approached the bed.

Bucky splayed his legs, inviting entry. Steve merely toyed with his fingers in his own mouth as he gently cupped Bucky's balls. Steve worked his fingers in and out while stroking Bucky's sack in time with the motion. Bucky was reaching a frenzied state just imagining what his own fingers between those lips would feel like. Then Steve released them to gently circle around the puckered skin the concluded Bucky's spine. Bucky felt it in spasms of expectation and excitement. He felt the folds part at the gentle prodding of slightly callused fingertips. As the pressure pulsed against him, he tried in vain not to thrust himself onto those fingers. He gasped his pleasure and cooed Steve's name in delight.

Steve was not dissuaded from his pleasure by this sordid display of wantonness. He demanded satisfaction. He moved Bucky onto the bed face up. He dangled the glorious length of his cock over Bucky's face. He moved his fingers inside of Bucky, causing Bucky to gasp. Mouth open Steve took full advantage. Bucky welcomed the smooth, angry length inside his mouth. His hips pumped with every angry stroke of Steve's fingers and mouth. They didn't try to hold back and came with wordless cries of pleasure around each other. Steve had laid down afterward. Too weak to try for indignation.

His eyes settle on Nahvalia standing half drunk in the kitchen. His pupils blown unashamedly. She smiled knowingly. "He came to me the next day, telling me everything.." She walked around the island to hold him.

"Bucky always said you had us wrapped around your fingers," Steve confessed, holding her near. The smell of her enveloping him as always.

Nahvalia blushed, her face heating against him. "He did, did he."

"Come on now. It's just us. Now I know what you know. Out with it. Just from your reaction, this is gonna be good." Steve smiled a bit triumphantly.

She took a bracing sip of wine and covered her mouth with a hand,"Bucky was always on the right."

"Go on." Steve prompted. "There's more. Spill it."

She took another drink,"Do you remember Dot?"

"Yeah," Steve answered derisively. "She's the one that crashed the party at Coney. What about her?"

"She and I went to school together before you all joined me."

"Yeah?"

"She used to ask us all to play a sort of choosing game," Nahvalia confessed before another sip.

Steve laughed,"Okay, Nahvalia, your name may have changed but your delaying tactics haven't. Get on with it."

"I have had a crush on you since I was ten." she had started slowly and ended in a rush. She lowered her head allowing her hair to become a curtain between them.

Steve sat down hard in a chair, stunned. He and Bucky used to argue over which of them should marry her and here she was confessing a crush on him. Steve had silently prayed Bucky would meet a girl who could accept what they shared and she'd been there all along.

"Nahvalia,....I.." he started.

"My dearest Steve, I was ready to accept both of you. I...I..." she left the words unsaid.

"Nahvie, I..." he held up a hand to forestall her. " I -we felt the same when we met you. I just wasn't expecting you to say that. I'm sorry if I'm embarrassing you or making you uncomfortable. We have both been dealing with a lot. There's a lot to go through. I'm still trying to deal with Peggy. We...should keep our heads and sort this as we go along."

Nahvalia looked down at the floor. "You are right. I 'm sorry I shouldn't have spoken so."

"Nahvie." he stopped her. Tilting her head up to look at him. "We need time. We need to adjust, talk and get reacquainted."

Her smile was unguarded for the first time. "Thank you, Steve."

He quirked a grin at her," Just don't expect me to forget you think I have the body of a god. If or rather when the time comes I won't let you forget it either."

Nahvalia's eyes widened in a challenge, "You won't, really?"he shook his head. "Thanks for the warning, Rogers."

"You are most welcome ma'am."

She laughed softly, "Ma'am?"

"Yup. It seemed to fit in context."

"So are you going to tell me what's in those letters?"

"Oh you know, existentialism and holistic remedies." he laughed lightly and pulled her into his chest. Realized that for once he could."It was me and Buck missing our best girl. Would you turn the music back on?"

She pulled back to look at him in suspicion,"Why?"

He placed a hand on her waist and took her left in his. "I endured too many garden parties not to have danced with you. Now you tell me why you don't dance."


	17. Twitterpated

January 2013

Nahvalia had gotten to know the group at the tower fairly well. She wasn't dialing them up to chill on Fridays, but well enough that Tony had asked her for a consultation. He had been absent and reported dead for a time. She was forming the basis for her surgical sciences and psychiatric theses when Stark threw himself into the chair across from her blueberries at the ready. He watched her work briefly before clearing his throat to gain her attention.

"I see the reports of your death were greatly exaggerated. Welcome home Mr. Stark." She told him continuing to write.

" Never 'Mr. Stark' me. It's creepy and weird. I'm Tony. Doc, I need your help." He began. "What are you working on?"

Her eyes never moved from her work,"My thesis for a psychological doctorate."

His body jerked in surprise. "I thought you were a surgeon."

"I am." Tony believed he detected a hint of annoyance from her. He pressed on anyway.

"You're getting a doctorate in psychology and surgery?"

"Yes, Anthony I am. I am most assuredly not performing this amount of work and research for my health. Or for shits and giggles. That would be a waste of my very valuable time." she answered dryly. Tony nodded in answer before remembering she wasn't looking at him.

"Not Anthony either. You aren't my mom. Tony, please. You know, I may have some questions for you." he told her in that tone of voice he used to get people to do what he wanted. He leaned closer attempting to read her work.

"Well, I applaud your courage. That's the hardest part. I'll send my recommendations tomorrow." her pen ceaselessly scratched over the writing surface as they spoke.

Tony frowned at her in confusion, then replayed the last few minutes in his head. "Oh no. That wasn't what I meant. I meant I wanted you to have a look at the shrapnel in my chest and remove it. You and your healing gift will keep me alive." Tony smiled broadly at her as if he'd just given her the best present ever.

Nahvalia's head rose from the page and turned slowly in Tony's direction. "You want me to remove it?"

"Uh, yeah. Cause it's kind of like killing me." Tony replied.

"I could make you my master surgical thesis." She answered, a bit of awe in her tone.

"Wait. Are you going to turn me into a guinea pig?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"No. Not at all." Her gaze drifted to the glowing ring at the center of his chest. "I have been struggling with an idea for it. This would be perfect! Do you have any 3-D scans of your heart? I would love to present this to my professors as soon as possible."

"You promise I won't be a guinea pig," Tony said without humor.

"I swear and it will be filmed so you can see the whole procedure afterward." her eyes were gleaming at the prospect. Tony spat into his hand and offered it to her. He was flabbergasted when she spat into her own and shook his. "Done," she announced.

"I'll go get those for you," Tony spoke haltingly. He passed Steve on his way to the lab.

"Hey, Tony. Have you seen Nahvie anywhere? I asked her to meet me..."

"Yeah, she's in the common living room. Did you know she spits shakes?"

Steve broke into a grin,"Of course. It was one of the first things Bucky and I taught her." he said proudly.

"Gross. You should not have done that. Billionaires should not spit shake." Tony wiped his hand unconsciously down the side of his jeans.

Steve gave Tony a knowing look, "She doesn't initiate those, Stark. If billionaires aren't supposed to do that why did you?"

"Cap I think you've been spending entirely too much time with her. Your command of sarcasm is growing and I hate competition. I say you stop this now before it gets out of control."

"I'll see you later Tony. Glad to see you're feeling better." Steve had been worried about Stark and his mental health after the suits had been destroyed. He looked, at last, like he was making peace with the decision Steve was relieved to see. He continued on his way to locating Nahvalia.

He found her shortly after. He settled himself at her side and waited for her to stop working. He was rewarded with a radiant smile. "Hi." she chirped at him. Head shaking he smiled back.

"Why are you always working? I don't think I've ever seen you just sit and be still. You're always doing something."

She bit her lip in thought. "Time is precious."

He took her hand and helped her collect her things. "What are we doing tonight?" he asked.

"I think we'll be staying in. I found a movie." She answered elusively. Steve chuckled, thinking he had created a monster.

The following month was filled with frantic activity to prepare for Tony's surgery. The faculty didn't have Nahvalia's vision but Tony insisted she was the only surgeon he'd allow to do the procedure. After the final review of the plan for Stark's surgery, Nahvie found herself unable to hold still or focus her attention on her books. She went to go see Peggy. She entered the building and greeted the nurses. She found herself instantly inundated with information. The restorative aide had notes and Dr. Landon reported complications with her illness. Nahvalia felt her heart fall at the news but readied a smile when she opened the door.

"Hello, Peggy."

"Hello, Sweetheart. How are you?" Peggy smiled weakly.

"I'm fantastic. How are you, Honey?"

Peggy's eyes narrowed, "You are not fine. Talk to me."

"I'm afraid there is either too much or not enough to tell. Why don't you tell me a story." Nahvalia rubbed her eyes. She poured a glass of water for Peggy and pulled a chair closer to the bed.

"Alright. I met a young man and he was just slightly bigger than you. I saw such qualities in him as had been described to me in stories. Those of knights in shining armor and maidens fair. Knights are supposed to be English, but I had to go to New York to meet one. I had recently left my family and a fiancee with no explanation after my brother died to join the S.S.R. I was terribly lonely, it was the first time I'd been away from home let alone across an ocean. And here was a handsome man about the same age as myself, just as lonely as I was. His future in the military totally uncertain and yet he threw himself into everything which such rigor and determination.

I remember in the car on the way to his procedure he told me that was the longest conversation he'd ever had with a dame. Needless to say, I fell completely in love with him and berate the intelligence of American women everywhere. How could they not see what I saw?

After Steve rescued James the two of them would sit around and talk about New York and a jolly sounding chap named Ash. Oh, the adventures the three of them went on as children! They sounded quite embellished, rather they would have if it had been anyone other than Steve telling them. When James died, I found Steven in a bar alone. I followed him to be sure he was going to be okay. We talked. He told me that night he was concerned about telling Halsford about James. He said he knew it would break her heart to know the man she'd known she was going to wed had died. And that Steven failed to save him. He was afraid she would hate him.

I was very confused and maybe a bit angry. Steve had never lied to me before. Why had he told me he'd never talked with a dame when clearly Halsford had been one! Then he told me the most beautiful thing I've ever heard a man say about a woman. He said,'Halsford isn't like a real girl, she's like a dream. She's got tons of money, but she works in a hospital and takes care of the poor with her own hands. She plays hard, works harder. Cusses like a sailor and drinks like a priest. She likes getting dirty but cleans up as well as a movie star. She is smarter than any ten people I know put together and she's a Lady. She's always been a dream girl.' I was always a bit haunted by that. That she was his dream girl.

Then Steve downed his plane. I knew Ash was fighting here and he would have to be told in person. I imagined Halsford surrounded by a loving family and comforted when she received the letter. Major Ashton Stanton was a field surgeon and had been burdened with telling God only knew how many families their loved ones had died. So I had Major Stanton's duty station looked up, no other details. I loaded up James and Steve's belongings to bring to him. I had hoped it would offer some small measure of comfort.

I drove for six hours to speak to the Major who had been in surgery for hours that day. I asked where he was only to be introduced to the smallest doctor I'd ever met who turned out to be a woman. On her first break in hours, I told this woman that her family had died. I could see the tears swimming in her eyes, the sobs stuck in her throat. I could see her mind screaming in denial. But she didn't do any of that. Instead, she looked at me, saw I was about to do all of those things and more. She looked at my uniform and my surroundings, knowing how damning that would be to my career if I got emotional in that moment. Ashton Stanton did me the greatest kindness in the world by threatening me. She galvanized me into action by reminding me of my job, my mission and that the war still needed to be won. She made me remember that if I didn't go forward Steve and James and countless others had died for naught. Then she turned, washed her hands and went back to saving lives.

In the time since, I realized what Steve meant when he called her a dream girl. She wasn't just Steve's dream girl, she's every man's dream wife. She's the dream girl every girl wants to be when she grows up and who in their right mind ever truly believes they have a chance to be with that dream? No one." Peggy coughed. Nahvalia passed her the glass of water.

"I thought that was the kindest thing and yet here you are trying to heal me because Steve loves me. Don't try to deny it. I've seen much in my life that should have been impossible. I wanted to thank you while we are alone and I'm lucid. I also want to ask you to take care of him. He's been so lost lately." Peggy reached for Nahvalia's hand.

She took it as sat at the edge of Peggy's bed. Her face was very sober. "Thank you, Peggy Carter. For your strength, compassion and understanding. I apologize for that night and my reaction. I have regretted it every day since. As for Steve, I shall try to take care of him. I'll do my best."

"I know your best will be amazing." Peggy's voice grew indistinct was her eyes drifted shut. Nahvalia pulled a couple of light blankets over her and turned down the television. She left the nursing home with her mind awash in thought. The drive home brought no release. She wrote for several hours that night, sharing her thoughts with Constance. Finally, mentally exhausted she went to bed for a dreamless sleep.

In the months that followed Tony's very successful surgery, Nahvalia threw herself into work and school. Steve would grow tired of staring at gym bags, haunted by images of the past and go visit Peggy. Nahvalia had no idea if Peggy had revealed that she knew the truth, but at the end of the day, it didn't matter. Each of Steve's visits with Peggy ended with him leaving for Nahvalia's house. He tried telling himself it was to ask after Peggy's care, but he had trouble lying even to himself.

His increasingly regular visits had encouraged Nahvalia to take in more cinema. He would drag her away from her laptop and phone, making her watch movies with him instead. He drug her through a catalog of Westerns as she subjected him to foreign films. She became a fan of Wayne and Eastwood and he became fascinated by bushido lore. Then came the cartoons!

"Why are you crying?" He asked bewildered as held her shaking shoulders.

"It's just so sad! Poor little Copper is all alone now!" she wailed heartbrokenly.

"Nahvie, it's just a cartoon. They aren't even real people."he reasoned.

"I know! But my feelings are real!" she wailed again.


	18. Anamensis

Tony had healed and was throwing a party for his successful surgery. He wanted his doctor to attend and had texted her. That had been hours ago and she hadn't responded. He caught Steve getting ready to leave. "Are you going to the Doctor's? I mean my Doctor."

"A wise word of warning, Stark. Never say things like that to her. She may kill you." 

"I doubt I need to worry about that. I didn't know girl hobbits wore shoes. Are her feet hairy? Nevermind, don't answer that. If it's yes I'd rather not know." Steve's forehead creased and he opened his mouth to respond. Tony cut him off. "Are you going to see her? Just ask her to come to the party?"

"Why?" Steve asked.

"Just do it, okay," Tony instructed walking away.

Steve shook his head and left. He built the argument in his mind as he drove. A party would be the perfect place to dance with her. She knew most of the people there so the crowds would be less of an issue. He felt it was a compelling argument. He parked his motorcycle and walked into the house. She had earbuds in, as usual, and was typing at the desk. He seated himself in front of her, taking out his phone. He had learned to come prepared for a lengthy wait, it could be hours before she looked up.

"Hey." she smiled.

"Hey back. Tony wants to know if you're coming to the party. I am here to argue the case that you come as my date."

Her skepticism was evident," Your date, huh?"

"Yes and before you tell me no, I want to know why you don't dance."

"I..." She started with the stock answer, but he knew her secret now. He knew her eyes turned green when she lied. She rubbed at her forehead and sighed. "It started like this...."

 

Asgard Three hundred years ago....

Frigga insisted the boys know how to dance, so by default Nahvalia also learned to dance. She had an elf's natural grace so it came quite naturally to her. She found a joy in dancing she hadn't found elsewhere. Loki had an aptitude as well. They were almost exclusively paired with each other. Nahvie's tinkling laughter was something that had never echoed through Asgard's halls, as a result, it brought much joy when it became a regular occurrence. 

Thor took little joy in dancing, preferring to be training for war. Sif, ever his little shadow, attended the classes as well. She was thrilled to be Thor's customary partner. This made her happy, the instructor's criticism of their performances did not.

"How many times must I say this, Lady Sif. Your back is to be straight and fluid. You are meant to flow. Look at the Princess for an example. Prince Thor, you are not to force your partner. It is a gentle thing I teach. Look at how well your brother dances." Thor and Sif had silent murderous thoughts toward the instructor, Loki, and Nahvalia. The order of death depended on who was doing the thinking. 

As the royal children grew there were many parties to attend. Many dances were had. As Nahvalia edged closer to a marriageable age her dance card was filling up faster and her partners were getting nearer while dancing. Loki noticed this with increasing dismay and despair. He sought his mother's counsel.

"Why doesn't she simply tell them no?" Loki groused.

"My son she cannot tell them no forever. If you want her hand exclusory your own, you must step forward and claim it."Frigga reasoned. Loki growled and stormed back to his room. He passed Nahvalia in the hall, she reached out, taking his hand in hers and started to run. Nahvalia was not naturally the paragon of stately manners everyone else knew her to be. She had a playful wildness that Loki found endearing. She would stare at things with a bright sense of wonder that Loki knew he would never get enough of seeing.

"I apologize for abducting you. I was simply unable to take another moment of the history of Asgard. That man believes me to be an ignorant savage. I desire him to spend the day in the company of Queen Octavia and carry that opinion away. Surely, he knows I am not from some uneducated backwater. He is just wholly insufferable. He walked me passed my own room making the announcement that is was the quarters of Asgard's future queen. As if I could tolerate Thor's beloved Sif and her perpetual death threats." She heaved herself to the ground, landing with an 'oof' followed by her laughter.

Loki smiled. It brought him a joy to see her like this. Her mother had berated her for this childlike wonder. Beat her for it. She was supposed to act a proper elven monarch. They would live years spanning eons. They must learn to control their enthusiasm. Nahvalia had untapped reserves of ebullience. A boundless joy was caged by her mother's expectations. As the girl struggled with the weight of her mother's desires, it was slowly killing the simple joy within the girl.

"You are here because I am in need of a friend sweet Prince, not to disparage my mother." She squinted up at him.

"I am here to stave off your instructor little Princess. Not because you are famished for some company."

She held her hand out to him. "Sit. I need a pillow."

"You grow more demanding by the day. Are you positive you aren't receiving lessons?" He asked as he settled himself behind her head. He pulled her hair from under her and started picking debris from the silken strands.

She snorted. "I simply mimic the behavior of my peers sweet Prince. Does my marital status matter so very much to you that you haunt your mother's chamber? You know what must be done, yet you say naught to alleviate your suffering. I believe you are a masochist."

Loki looked down at her, " You are to wed a first son. I recall your mother's instructions."

"Then I am sure you will remember my father's as well." She said twining her fingers with his. "It is my choice, but you will have to provide a measure of interest. Unless I've misread your mind?"

He pulled his hand from hers. "You know you haven't. Just as you know why I have delayed. You must tell me what it is you hide from me."He looked into eyes as blue as Asgard's seas. It was her turn to move away from him. She rose growling under her breath. He didn't need to hear the words, he read them in her mind. "Nahvalia, your mother wants you with Thor and your father has you keeping secrets from your future husband. If I cannot have all of you I will never be satisfied."

He knew she would leave. He wasn't ready for the look of anger she shot him before she did. Afraid he had pushed her too far, this time, he went after her. She could hear the footfalls behind her and knew she was about to say something cruel. She broke into a run knowing Loki detested the activity. He didn't try, he teleported in front of her. He took her in his arms, stroking her hair. He felt her fists at his chest. His heart ached as it did every time they had this fight. She refused to accept his comfort this time. She shoved him away and ran back to her rooms.

Standing in the ballroom in fancy dress was not what Loki wanted. Less than that, however, he did not want to be watching Nahvalia shun him so completely he had yet to dance with her once. She had accepted Thor over him and it galled him. She twirled in Fandral's arms. He glared daggers at them as they passed. She threw her head back with merriment, it was the final straw. Loki strode to them and grabbed her arm snatching him from Fandral's embrace.

"This stops now." Loki hissed at her. "You are never to dance with another. I will allow you to keep your hateful secret from me, but you will swear to me now you will never dance with anyone when propriety has been served. Do you understand?"

Nahvalia grabbed the first two fingers and shoved them over the back of his hand forcing him to release her arm. The music stopped as every eye found the argument taking place on the dance floor. Odin moved to rise but Frigga stilled him with a restraining hand.

"You dare assault me, Loki? You are lucky I find myself in a charitable mood. I would be well within my rights to request your head for such an offense to my person." The domineering training overtaking the playfulness of her true self.

"I am claiming what is mine," Loki told her in a low voice. He watched her eyes grow wide. He felt her move within his mind to garner his intentions. She saw the truth. He was willing to allow her to abide her father's request. He wished to marry her. She broke into a relieved smile and hugged him.

 

New York City

 

"You don't dance because you made Loki a promise? How does that even matter after all this time? I think you've just said no so often it's reflex." Steve told her quietly.Nahvie's arms were crossed over her chest and she wouldn't look at him. He gave her obstinate form a very level look. "Nahvalia, you are going to have to stop defending him. He threatened you. That isn't someone who cares for you."

"Steven, you have no idea what happened between him and me in our years together. Do not presume to tell me about our love for each other. Or how I need to proceed with my life."

Steve counted to ten while taking deep breaths. This was one of the most irritating aspects of her personality. "I'm trying to tell you to move one because I want to move forward with you."

"What the fuck does that mean?" She demanded her brows knitted in a frown.

"I love you, Nahvalia. I want to know what we could be together. And watch your mouth." 

"What did you just say?" astonishment clearly evident in her tone.

Steve laughed at her, "I said I love you, you silly infuriating girl." He watched her search and fail to say something, do something. Being a proper gentleman, he helped her out. He went to her and took her hand with one of his and took her chin in the other. He held it until she looked him in the eye. "Nahvalia, this will be difficult. But we've survived too much together to not give this a fighting chance."

Her vulnerable gaze maintained contact with his resolved one. "I'm not sure I could handle it if things went badly."

"Nahvie, if you promise to try things will not go badly."

A tentative tender smile worked it's way over previously worried lips. Steve found himself unable to stay quiet about that any longer. "I would much rather see your lips swollen from kissing than the result of your chewing on them."

Nahvalia sat back reeling from his boldness. "My goodness, Rogers! I didn't think you had it in you."

"Baby girl, you ain't seen nothin yet. Come to this party with me."

"Done." she giggled. She went upstairs to change. When she returned she blew his mind. It wasn't anything but a girl's little black dress. Hers screamed latent sensuality. He knew it was probably cotton, but it flared and flowed. It covered as it enticed. Her hair was up accentuating the graceful neck. He also noticed she'd lost the glamor. When she came down the stairs she was for the first time since she'd fled the Princess Royal of Alfheim.

"You know, you're going to get a lot of attention," Steve said scratching the back of his neck.

"No point in hiding," she answered ruefully. "It isn't like I have to hide from SHIELD anymore, in a manner of speaking I work for them as well now." She twirled in front of him. "Will this suffice for Tony's little get-together?"

"I think you may have a problem keeping Stark off of you," he told her his voice dropping an octave as he did. 

"Darling, keeping men away from me has never been my issue," she said dryly. Her eyebrow perched in the middle of her forehead.

"Oh, I know that far too well." he blew air at of puffed cheeks. She cocked her head as if insulted. "Navie, you have walls. Very thick ones. I know I've put up with them for the better part of my rather long life. Doesn't change your my best friend and I love you with all of your peculiarities." 

She frowned in curiosity, "Is that your version of an apology?" 

"No, Baby girl, just the truth. Sometimes that hurts. You'll be fine."

She shook her head and looked at him adoringly, "Ah! Such manners you have, Steve. Insulting your date before we've even left the house."

He laughed at her as he took her in his arms. She could feel the rumble of it in his chest. "You are fantastic and you know it." He kissed the top of her head and offered his arm, "Shall we?" She nodded. In the garage, he waited for her to hand him the keys. She looked at him as if he were mad.

"The gentleman is supposed to be doing the driving." he told her reasonably.

"When the gentleman has his own car. This is my baby."

His eyes narrowed,"I could make you ride the motorcycle."

"I would be happy to stay here." She threatened in return.

"Fine." He sighed in frustration watching her walk to the other side of the car. She thought she heard him say something about obstinate.

"I heard that."


	19. Abhorrence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a/n: Yes, I have to do another one. Rape, violence, language. 18+ NSFW Thank you, your humble author

June 2013 New York City

Steve and Nahvalia were touring the city of their childhood in the rare moments they got to spend together. Museums, art galleries, and the zoo. They went boating, something Steve hadn't been healthy enough to attempt when he was ten. Today, as usually happened, late afternoon had turned to evening and they'd lost track of time. She had excused herself to use the restroom and he made a call. She returned to him skipping.

"What's next?" she asked smiling and breathless.

"You have two choices, Baby Girl." He answered her exuberance was contagious.

"Hmmm." She hummed delightedly.

"First, we do something here in the city?"

"Or?" She countered quickly.

"Or we take your beautiful car that you won't let me drive back to your house in the country and we watch a movie over dinner."

She bit her lip as she thought. Steve caught himself memorizing the tiny bit of flesh between bright white teeth. That gesture would be his undoing. "Depends on the movie," she said. It took several seconds for her words to infiltrate his thoughts. Her raised knowing eyebrow gave him cause to blush. "My sweet Captain, whatever were you thinking?" Her smile was coy and catlike.

"I was thinking that you need to stop drawing attention to your mouth. The licking, biting and tongue sticking out all the time make me want to kiss you. You are making me crazy, Stanton. I'm trying to be a gentleman and woo you properly."

"Then it's decided." She said authoritatively.

"It is?"

"Indeed." Her smile grew wicked in glee. "We shall go home. We shall make dinner. We shall watch a movie," she paused dramatically, "We shall drink and we shall dance. And as we feast know in your heart I am yours."

He blinked, then slowly, realization arrived. "You mean you're willing to give this a real shot?"His smile could have lit cities.

"You were right. I've waited so long and here we are again. Yes, I'm willing to try." Steve caught her in a hug and twirled her around in unadulterated joy. She laughed, happier than decades had seen her.

He put her back down refusing to relinquish her yet."Say it again."

"I'm yours?" she giggled.

"No. Say that I was right. Just one more time. It sounds so good coming from someone whose never said that before." He laughed as he jogged tauntingly away from her.

The drive home was filled with music ranging from big bands, hair bands, punk bands, blues bands, and everything between. A brief stop was made as Steve collected the bags he'd called ahead for earlier. She opened the door putting the music on through the speaker while he carried in the surprise.

"Close your eyes." He told her. He gave her an exasperated look when she rolled her eyes at him. She gave a deeply put-upon sigh but complied. He handed her a cold bottle and let her open them. Her mouth dropped open at the Samuel Adams and the Maine lobsters on the counter.

"You remembered!" When Sarah, Steve, and Bucky had helped her find the new house she'd taken them to Boston down to the waterfront for just such a meal. Sarah and Bucky had been the only ones old enough to drink and it galled both Nahvie and Steve they had been denied even a small sip. Samuel Adams remained one of Nahvalia's favorite brand of beers to this very day. She clasped him in a hug only to look up and see him frowning.

"I am making dinner, plying you with alcohol, and I see no dancing. Where's my show?"

Nahvie took a moment to make sure he'd said what she'd thought he had. She tossed him a predatory grin. "Did you just tell me I'm your floor show?"

"For the moment. Yes, Ma'am." Steve smiled in challenge'

"Oooo, Rogers. You're going to have to watch saying things like that." She warned ominously.

"Yeah? Why?" he asked. His attention elsewhere as he rolled up his sleeves to wash his hands.

He missed her rolling her neck to stretch. He didn't see her swipe her thumb under her nose and nod. "Challenge accepted." She told him in a low voice.

They had been listening to a song Steve could not have placed. They had yet to watch 'The Blues Brothers' so the strains of 'Sweet Home Chicago' were lost on him. The change in tune didn't garner his attention, it was the dimming of the lights, and the first words of the haunting music sung by the girl standing on the kitchen table. She now had his undivided attention with a song he'd never heard before. It was a song he could easily translate to speakeasies Bucky and he had dreamed of going to. Nahvie's voice was coming at him in a breathless falsetto.

She gave him a sensuous smile as she sang the pseudo- blues swing song into a fork. He recognized the ridiculousness, comedy, and attempted seduction. He gave her his total focus. In Bucky's stories, all of the singers in the mob ran clubs looked like her. They dressed in dresses that glittered. They were always dolled up and looking for a copper to save them from their big, bad mafia boyfriends. That was always the way it happened when they played the game as kids. They could never get Nahvie to play the girl. She was always the mob boss, shot down in the street.

Now, in a scenario Steve could never have conjured, she was singing about how he was the only one. He needed a drink he knew wouldn't work because the girl with the fork was hot! I have been around, Stark for too long, he thought. He poured them each a drink. In his mind's eye, he could see the life they should have had. Her dancing with Bucky while he cooked. The two of them offering him the best bits of their dinner. His head in her lap kissing Bucky.

"Alright. You've proven your point. I need to cook and you need to drink. I need a drink after that."He laughed and looked down at what he was making. "Shit," he whispered.

"What?" She asked.

"I forgot. Meat and you." he rubbed his chin regretfully. He wasn't sure how'd he'd forgotten. She just never made a big deal about it.

"Look! Right here." she pulled a bag of salad mix from the fridge."It's fine. You can toss my salad!"

Dinner was prepared and they were seated on the couch. "What looks good?" He asked flipping through movie choices. He gave her a very serious look, "And do not say cartoons. Can't have you crying all over my lobster, you'll ruin it." He teased.

"No rom- coms. I hate those things." She growled over her salad.

"Not all of them."

"Whatever. I say cartoons, though. You haven't watched FMA yet!"Her eyes took on a manic gleam. She seized the remote and started at the beginning. They binge watched for four hours. Nahvalia had seen some of them so often she'd memorized dialog. It was decided it was time to stop when her eyelids began drifting closed.

Steve helped her off the couch. He held her fingers and kissed the back of her hand. "Goodnight, Sweet Princess." He teased before raising his hands before him in a defensive posture.

"You remember what happened to Bucky when he did that."

"I do. Now I know why. Just the same, though. Goodnight, Sweet Princess."

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" her eyes narrowed devilishly.

"Oh yeah. That's how it's gonna be," he smirked.

He never saw it coming. Nahvalia jumped at him wrapping her legs around both his arms and torso, her hands resting on his shoulders. Her lips brushed a soft caress over his. "Good night, my dear Captain." she purred. Steve recovered and tried to free his arms. She dropped gracefully back to the floor, landing lightly, retreating from him a few steps. Steve's breath was heavy and wasn't helped when she wet her lips. He tore his gaze from them to hers. A curiosity was satisfied. He noted her eyes turned a hypnotic blue-purple hue when she'd been kissed.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" His voice was quiet.

"That's how it's gonna be." Came the breathy reply. She turned and went to her room before she did something more.

Asgard

Loki's cell was just as infuriating today as it had been the day before. His mother had come to check on him, hoping that he'd see the error of his ways and beg Odin for forgiveness. Enraged at his circumstances, Loki found he couldn't concentrate enough to read. He lay on his bed tossing his drinking vessel, contemplating sleep or further plotting. A commotion drew his attention. Setting the glass aside he rose to discover the reason. A long line of escapees run passed his cell, their liberator walking behind them. He stopped before Loki's cell. After a brief staring contest, the being decides to leave Loki where he is.

"You may want to take the stairs on the left," Loki called after him. He watches the creature heed his suggestion.

July 2013 New York

Nahvalia was at home having a rare, quiet day off. She was researching support for her psychology dissertation when thunder crashed outside.She looked to her window and saw no rain. Heaving a weary sigh she dropped her face into her hands. Her fingers rubbed her forehead in a failed attempt to soothe. She stood and went to get the door. "This is a surprise, Prince Thor. Welcome to my home."

Thor's disapproval was great. "This place should never have been your home. I have news for you, but before we get to that I need your side of the tale." Nahvie gestured him in and closed the door behind him. He followed her through the house to the kitchen where she wordlessly served him a beer and selected a bottle of water for herself. He followed her back the game room where she pointed to the couch and she settled cross-legged in a chair.

"It's been over a year Thor. Your temper hasn't cooled in all that time?"

"Do you have any idea where I've been or what I've had to do?"

"No, Thor I don't. What I can tell you is I am not the person you need to be directing your rage at!" She spat hotly.

Thor closed the distance between them staring down at her coldly. "If you wish to disparage my brother, cease. He laid down his life for help save my beloved. Whatever your quarrel with him was, consider it closed. Loki died on Vanaheim."

Nahvalia heard the words, but could not believe them. Thor sat down heavily in a chair and drained half of his drink. He looked at her with contempt. Loki had been a great many things, but he was to have been her husband. The least she could do was react.

She was stunned by Thor's vehemence and the news. She wanted to run to Thor and hug him, they had once been like siblings. Now he glared at her as though she'd done him an injustice. She wanted to call Steve, share her sorrow. She did none of these things. She swallowed her hurt and squared her shoulders. "What must I do to remove the odium from your face when you look at me?"

"Make reparation with my heart. You were to be my sister. You fled and took my retentiveness of you with you. You need to tell me why." He growled at her. Her lips thinned. She rose to get him another beer. When she returned she sat as before and told him everything. It took hours, night had fallen and they now sat in darkness as she fell silent. She heard Thor expelled a breath. Knowing he couldn't see her she hugged herself. She reached over and turned on a lamp. Thor's eyes were filled with a sympathy that bordered pity. She felt the bile rising and looked away.

"Nahvalia-"He began, she cut him off.

"Thor, there are things you aren't understanding. I know you have experienced two great losses. I feel them both as well, but you will not subject me to your pity. I made my peace with my lot long ago. I will share your sorrow and a drink with you, but you will not burden me with a widow's grief. He denied me that title with his treachery long ago." She stood and walked to him. She extended her hand to him, he took it and rose. She clasped his arm in the traditional Asgardian manner then hugged him. Thor was at a loss for a moment.

Long ago Nahvalia would have done this, but as she had aged she grew more into behavior becoming a queen. Thor had preferred the Nahvie that ran and played. His friend was the one that threw mud pies when the elders were away, only to sneak back into the palace to clean up before they were caught. Thor remembered a girl who had bribed servants to keep their secrets. He remembered her mother's letters tear that girl apart to leave a Princess in their wake. Before him now was the queen of proper bearing torment had made of her. A heart hidden by several layers of steel.

She handed him two shot glasses and a fresh beer taking one of the bottles for herself. They would toast Frigga and Loki with him knowing they were in Valhalla. As they drank Thor told her of his trials during the past year. Cleaning up after Loki's attempted planetary takeover, they other realms' reaction to this open declaration of war, Jane and the Aether. He noticed her attention sharpened at the mention of the substance.

"I've declined succession to the throne." He waited for her response.

"Do you do this for Jane."

"In part. During my time here I've learned much about myself that has led me to believe I am not yet worthy to rule."

"That is wise of you. Better to learn your limits not seated in such a position of power." She nodded. Thor took his leave grateful she had a forgiving heart and had spared him her tears.

Nahvalia favored long nightgowns. She wore her favorite to bed to ease her sorrow. She'd often wondered how much help Frigga had lent her, now she would never know. It would never happen again. She thanked Constance's God that Frigga had been a part of her life. She thanked Frigga for her kindness. Sh crawled into bed and cried in her pillow for Loki. She would have hotly denied it had it been suggested but she had still loved Loki. It hurt knowing he'd died without forgiving her. She cried herself to sleep.

Loki walked in the snow covered forest carelessly now. Since seizing Gugnir he knew where he walked, knew who she was. He knew the depth of her betrayal. He would wander her dreams when he wished to and tonight he was going to see her. He found her weeping on a fallen tree. At last, she was dressed properly.

Her gown was ivory and pale blue. Her cloak, white and fur-lined. Her circlet encrusted with sapphires and diamonds. She was finally the pale sparkling Light of the Nine Realms. Loki hated her as much as he desired her. He approached her crumpled figure in Odin's form. He wanted to savor the exquisite taste of her fear.

"Long have you haunted this forest in your dreams, child. Tell me why you weep."

She curtseyed after she had risen. "My King, I weep for your wife and son."

Loki shuddered when she called him 'My King'. "You know that boy was not my son. Why weep for Frigga now? You did naught to save her. She reared you better than your own mother."

"My King, why must you be so cruel? She helped me to leave. Surely, she told you." Nahvalia was struggling with the tears swimming in her eyes.

Loki hadn't known about Frigga's involvement, but he could plainly see her hand in it now. "No, she did not tell me. Why would she? It would have only drawn my wrath."He began pacing around her, letting the illusion slip away slowly. A flash of green here, a flicker of black there, the smooth cheeks from the corner of her eyes.

Her breath grew shallow and thready as her fear grew. "My King?" Her voice quavered. Loki loved the sound. He quickly decided it should always sound like that.

"Silence." he snapped. "This ruse grows thin. Kneel before your rightful King." He almost sighed in pleasure when she complied. He walked behind her, pulling the hood back to reveal the intricate plaits binding the silver-white hair. "From there I demand you apologize for your betrayal. I demand you beg me to find a reason to let you live after your vile assassination of my character one what should have been the proudest day of your life. I demand to hear you speak words of love to me like you whispered when trying to entrap me with your wiles." He walked around to see her face. "Do it now," he demanded implacably.

Her tear-streaked face aroused him, as did her horror. "Loki?" her voice a fearful whisper.

Disinterestedly, he sighed,"The one and only. Now, do as you are told."

Nahvalia rose from the ground, duty conquering her dread. "You have no idea the destruction and devastation you could cause. You are bereft of true knowledge of the relics you brought to Midgard. Your thoughtlessness could still bring ruination to the whole Nine Realms, yet here you are still caught up in such concepts as revenge and power. How can you have been so intelligent and lack the wit to see that?"

Carefully concealed rage burned hot within him. " I have come here often since you departed. I've watched you hoping, at times barely stopping myself from begging, for you to speak. You walked here, knowing who I am, what we were to each other and denied to even acknowledge me. How you must have laughed at my expense when you woke. Loki of Asgard's mind tampered with by a silly little charm. You speak at last with words of disparagement and disappointment. As opposed to the words your King and master have commanded you too! Your arrogance will be punished. For soon I shall come find you and teach you your proper place. You shall rue the day you did not fall at the feet of the one you will marry with words of devotion and fealty." Loki hissed mere inches from her face, his hand circling her dainty throat squeezing.

He shoves her against a tree."You left me, deprived my of my memories of you, haunted my sleep.WE could have ruled all Nine Realms together. Relish your royal indignation while you can, my Love. For when I find you I shall make my earlier promise to you so very real." He released her throat. Watching her body sag as she tried to recover.

Cold disdain was all he could see reflected in her eyes as she glared up at him. "I am the Keeper of the Sacred Peace. This is why I left you that day. You who do not possess the wisdom to see what is plain;y before you. Give me the relics. Surrender them now and you'll receive leniency. Force me to take them from you and you'll regret that choice forever."

He laughed in her face. A few gestures and Nahvalia was unable to move. Loki allowed his hands to roam freely. He jerked her arm sharply to move her away from the tree. He could see her mind straining for the counter-curse to free her from his magic. He ground his arousal into her backside, his enjoyment increased by her inability to stop him. His hands caressed breasts bound to overflowing by her corset. "You have no idea where I've been, what I've been through or who I've become. I am the King of Asgard and soon the wretched little world you hide on. And you, my Love, will take your sworn place beside me." He hissed against her neck.

Nahvalia closed her eyes in sorrow. He could feel the revulsion rolling from her in waves. She could not stop the tears from falling. She allowed him to hear her thoughts. "Such cruelty and hatred. Such sadism and selfishness. You aren't even a shadow of who you could have been."

"You condemned me to the shadows. You were supposed to stand beside me. The light to my darkness, but you fled. Do not fear, my Love, because you shall shine. The only light in the darkness after I've extinguished all others and the people will see it and quake in fear. They shall fear your dreadful light above all else for I will walk beside you. I will see the hatred you bear me fade from your eyes before I allow light to once again be a comfort to those dull, pathetic creatures. And you, my Darling, must choose your fate. Will it be as my wife or my whore?"

Unarticulated loathing shone in her eyes. He placed her hand down his trousers and ground himself against it and her. He gathered her skirt slowly up her leg until he could get under them. He placed a finger against her nether lips and stroked them. His lips went to her ear, licking it. He'd never done anything intimate with her. She'd demanded marriage before. Now he tasted her skin, it was sweet and tart, addictive. His fingers moved against the tender bud of flesh between her legs. She whimpered in shame as she grew hot and wet.

"I never stopped loving you. This is a form of torture as well. The best part is you will begin to crave my touch, what I do to you. You will crawl to me begging me to do this to you. You'll grow to despise your weakness, but you'll return for it. I know you'll make the right choice. After all, you love me." He lower his other hand to join in the torment of her. The fingers of one stroking in and out, the other making circles around her clit.

He ground himself to completion coating her hand in the sticky fluid. He growled at the back of her neck. "If I take you anywhere but your mouth I want you to scream my name. I want you to scream it loud enough everyone in the Nine Realms knows who is inside of you." He doubled his efforts at her intimate place. "More than that I want you to know whom you belong to. Do you understand?"

"Say my name," he said. She shook her head, struggling to control her reaction to what he was doing.

He inserted another finger, drawing a cry of pain from her. "Say my name." He demanded louder.

He added more pressure. "Say my name!" He yelled.

"Loki." She gasped losing her fight as the orgasm tore through her. She fell to the ground sobbing quietly. Loki smirked down at her. He knew she would wake and take herself from this place, not likely to return. It mattered not. 

"I am looking for you, Princess. When I find you do not make me wait again. You will do as your master tells." He disappeared. She woke in a fright, her nightgown twisted around her legs, trapping them together. She cast desperately around her room to ensure she was truly alone. Unable to go back to sleep she rose, made tea, and spent the night writing to Frigga.

Nahvalia had difficulty shaking her dream and sleeping at all for weeks after the incident. She said nothing about it to anyone. She wrote it off as too much stress and grief at the news Loki had died. It had been her greatest fear he would do such a thing and she was possessed of an overactive imagination. Loki was dead and she was finally free.


	20. Disconcertion

Siberia April 2014

There was a flurry of activity and a sense of excitement outside the holding bay. It had been twenty-three years since this had last been done. Few of the handful of agents involved in the procedure had been there when last it occurred. Doctors were on stand-by to receive the patient when he emerged from cryostasis, guards were on hand to subdue him if necessary. They carried his inert body to the treatment room and settled him into a chair. They took their leave after strapping him in and connecting all monitoring diodes to their various machines. The senior technician staying behind in the sound proof room.

The Winter Soldier had a storied reputation in HYDRA. He was the most efficient lethal killing machine at HYDRA's disposal. Agents had viciously jockeyed for a position on Rumlow's Strike team hoping for an opportunity to watch him at work. Only the best had been selected.

The Strike team members were trained specifically to handle the Winter Soldier when he was awake. He was to be given a wide berth. He was not to enter New York City or the surrounding cities at any cost. He was known to be unstable and volatile, turning on his team with the barest of triggers. The team was to maintain eye contact with him and carefully document anytime his programming seemed to falter as few of his triggers were known. According to Zola's hint of notes no one named Steven or Rogers could ever be a member of the Winter Soldier's team of handlers. Following the Stark situation, he was not longer given blond female targets. He had killed half of his team that night and mumbled about ash or ashes for a solid hour before making his report. He'd been wiped twice before the nonsense stopped. They put him back on ice to save trouble. There was no record in his file about fires or arson. They had no explanation for that. 

He was only sent to eliminate the greatest of HYDRA's threats. The experiment at the Triskelion was reaching its conclusion; it was becoming increasingly evident to Alexander Pierce what needed to be done. He had an agenda and someone was in his way. Pierce considered the irony of his current situation. HYDRA was on the brink of world domination aided by none other than Captain America. He would have cackled maniacally had he been the type. He finished his morning orange juice and called for an update on the asset. Pierce smiled hearing the awakening process had been the easiest of all this time. He was pleased it was going so well given that his target, this time, was the most difficult and resourceful to date: Colonel Nicholas James Fury. 

Nahvalia jerked awake in a cold sweat. She palmed her forehead with the heels of her hands. Her dream had been an awful one that had haunted her intermittently throughout the years. James was burning in an ice cold lake of blue flames. Strangely he wasn't trying to leave the lake, he clutched his head as he screamed for her or Steve to help him out of his torment.

This time, she had reached out to his mind in her sleep. The last vestige of her mind's barriers broken down by Loki's intrusion. Just as she had reached him, however, his figure blew apart like ashes scattered in a breeze. In his place stood a menacing man fully capable of keeping her out of his mind. She had been jolted awake by the feeling of dread. She forced the haunting vision from her mind, as well as herself out of bed, denying the possible implications it held.

New York City April 2014

Nahvalia slumped over her tablet in Peggy's room. Her doctorate paper stared at her sleeping face unsaved. Peggy had watched the exhaustion claim her as they had started the day's recount of Peggy's well-being. Peggy had smiled tenderly at the girl and had turned on the television for some quiet background noise. Steve opened the door and smiled at Peggy before frowning as Nahvalia. Peggy beckoned him in, "Steve, take the poor thing home. She's worked far too hard."

Steve smiled and kissed Peggy's forehead before carrying Nahvie out. "I'll see you tomorrow." he had whispered to her before taking his leave. She had stirred by the time they'd reached her car. "Keys." He'd said, brooking no arguments with his tone. She fished them from a pocket and handed them over wordlessly. He opened the passenger door, shutting it after he'd buckled her in. Nahvie was sound asleep before they'd cleared the facility's parking lot.

Nahvalia had indeed accomplished much over the last year. She was down to her final argument in her psychiatric medicine doctorate. Her surgical doctorate earned by successful completion of Tony's surgery. She was now on rotation at Mercy General, no longer a volunteer. Peggy's condition had no significant degradation and her new business venture had been successful. She had yet to hire an assistant, so she had done it on her own. She was very tired. 

Steve carried her up to her room. He'd seen very little of her lately. Between their schedules, they were lucky to get together once a month. He slid her jacket and shoes off then settled down beside her covering them both with a spare quilt. He'd only meant to stay until he was sure she wouldn't wake. She snuggled in against him. Her cheek pillowed over a hand resting on his chest. Both of his arms were wrapped around her. He began to feel a bit anxious about how she'd feel waking up beside him and contemplated leaving.

He was unable to bring himself to do so looking at her peaceful face. He remembered watching her sleep in the tree. Her face had always been twisted in a frown. Knowing what he did now he could see how the pain of leaving her home and the perpetual deception had weighed on her. Steve didn't judge her choices, he applauded her actions. 

Now he looked at her and truly considered waking up to that face for the rest of a potentially extremely long life. She murmured, he smiled. It would be amazing to see such a life through with the woman in his arms, he decided. She smiled in her sleep and snuggled still closer. Steve closed his eyes and waited for her to move.

He had no idea how she'd done it. The smell of bacon woke him. She had slipped out of bed without waking him. Nahvalia hadn't been cooking long and had to have realized both her absence and the aroma would have woke him. He glanced out the window noting early morning sun. He's stayed with her the whole night, he thought with color rising in his cheeks. He left her room entering the kitchen. He smiled as he remembered his mother's words and did what she had always admonished him to do. He brushed his lips over Nahvie's cheek.

"How did you do it?" the question was light and followed by a plate of eggs being placed in front of him. 

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific, Babe."She answered bluntly.

"Sneak out of bed with a highly trained super soldier." He clarified.

"I didn't leave with one, I left one there." She smirked in a challenge.

"Oooh." He shook his head, "So that's how it's gonna be, huh?"

Her rebuttal came with alacrity,"Not gonna be, Babe. That's how it is."

"Keep it up, Stanton. Keep it up." Steve said darkly.

"Or?" She asked, her eyebrow raised is dismissiveness at the implied threat.

"I remember a certain person being highly susceptible to the application of tickling." He replied seriously.

He watched Nahvalia consider her next words with caution. After a long pause, she answered,"I only left to make you breakfast."

"That's what I thought." Steve countered with authority.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" Her expression one of indignation.

"No, Baby Girl. That's how it is." He drawled at her dramatically.

"You ain't big enough." She scoffed, then her eyes widened. She took a hesitant step away from the counter hoping his breakfast would be enough to keep him in place. She ran from the room just in case. 

He had a wicked gleam in his eye as he vaulted the island giving chase. He caught her and took her to the floor in the living room. She was helpless under the onslaught of his fingers. She squealed in helpless laughter and futile struggle for long minutes before he relented. She tried to get her breath back, "Are you going to let me up?" She panted from the floor.

"I like watching you squirm beneath me." He said, watching her shudder in response. He stood up and offered her a hand up before returning to breakfast. "What do you want to do today? I'm sure I'll be spending another day sketching while you work." He said, disappointment in his voice.

"No. You are the sole focus of my attention today. It's all about what you want to do." She answered with a smile.

"Really?" He tried to keep from sounding too happy about this turn of events. He didn't dismiss how important her work was to her. The fact she'd set that aside for him made something funny happen in his stomach that hadn't for years.

"Really, really." She replied.

"I understood that reference."He told her proudly.

Nahvalia frowned, "Who watched Shrek with you? That is one of my favorite movies. No fair. Foul play." She hissed.

"Nat and Clint thought-," he started.

She stopped him,"Not right. I shall endeavor to spoil everything for them going forward."

"Baby Girl..."Steve tried.

"No matter. That is revenge to be served on another day. Today I'm all yours." She said definitively. Steve wisely said naught.

 

Thor, as every other member of the team, had no idea of the nature of Nahvie and Steve's relationship. Tony suspected, but kept those thoughts to himself. Thor had begun to visit Nahvie, for several reasons. They had never been as close as she and Loki, but she was like a sister to him. They had both lost people whom they were close to. They could share stories and pain. They were engaged in drinking coffee and swapping memories. Neither heard the motorcycle outside. Steve entered the kitchen with a smile already speaking, "Hey Baby Girl! I thought tonight we could-," He halted mid-sentence seeing she wasn't alone. "Hey, Thor. What brings you here?" Steve asked , settling his arm around Nahvie's waist and a hand on her hip.

Thor noted the gently possessive gesture. It made him happy to know she'd finally found a man worthy of her. Thor had loved his brother, but Loki had a darkness within Nahvalia did not. "I came to tell my friend what happened on Asgard. She and my mother were close. I wanted to share what had occurred from someone who witnessed it first hand." 

"You should stay for dinner," Steve suggested.

Thor looked at Nahvalia, who smiled and shrugged. "I would be honored to join you. Thank you."

"Why don't you show Thor around the house while I get dinner started?" she offered.

"How about I show him the house, you fix something that needs time without supervision and we all go for a ride while we wait?" Steve countered.

"Deal. Thank you." Nahvalia stood on tiptoe and kissed his chin. She had acquired horses not long after she'd performed Tony's surgery. She had needed the calm companionship the horses provided as well as a reason to leave the house. They rode the grounds. She showed Thor everything she thought would interest him. He took all of it in, mostly the peace she had found in her long exile. It gave him a feeling of happiness and pride seeing her more happy and content than she had even been on Asgard. After returning to the house Thor set the table, while Steve finished dinner. Nahvie had gone upstairs for a shower.

Dinner was a wonderful time for everyone until Thor and Steve started trading Nahvalia stories. "She was always following us admonishing us of our inadequate level of caution. Bringing back orphaned or wounded creatures. At one time each of us had a canine companion because of her rescue efforts. Father's was a small fluffy white thing with an awful disposition." Thor laughed.

"She wasn't like that with Buck and I. She was often mistaken for one of the boys. She might never have started anything, but she always knew how to get it done. And scrappy. Nahvie would walk into a fight or start one with words anytime someone was being bullied. It only went really badly once." Steve smiled at her affectionately.

Nahvie led them to the family room after she'd cleaned up after their meal, where her torment continued. Thor sat in an armchair. Nahvie attempted to take one of the chairs for herself but Steve settled his arm around her shoulders and led her to the couch. Her red tinted cheeks and shaking head betrayed her embarrassment at their stories. She was handling it with a stoic silence.

"That is one of many things unchanged about her. The Princess Royal has ever been a champion of justice." Thor verified.

"She managed to keep that whole thing a secret from me until very recently. Although I have to admit now that I know what the backstory is. It explains why Buck got the bloody nose."Steve smirked at her.

"She has never been easy to anger, but once riled she demands blood. Another of the things I've always treasured about her: her humility. I must hear this tale, Steve." Thor's voice boomed with excitement.

"Bucky and I had gone over to her house because she'd asked. I think she wanted us to help with something. Anyway, neither of us really wanted to go. It was scorching outside and we wanted to go to the beach. What you also have to understand is Nahvie and Buck are too much alike. They also fight like an old married couple, it was hilarious to watch. So he's annoyed when we get to her house and knock on the door. She answers and Buck says,' Here we are Princess. Now what?'. 

Her face turned all red and she told him never to call her that again. And Bucky says,' Whatever you say, Princess.' She moved faster than anything! She punched Bucky so quick, we couldn't have stopped her. We never even found out why we were there 'cause as soon as she was done, she locked the door. If it hadn't been for Buck's Aunt Ida being outside hanging clothes, he'd o' been covered in blood the whole way home."

Thor roared with laughter, it rumbled throughout the room. "when she first arrived in Asgard, Nahvalia wasn't given the warmest of receptions. She was always very regal, refined, like a true royal at such a tender age. My friends and I tormented her relentlessly, but none as bad as Sif." Nahvalia's eyes rolled and she tried to escape the merciless embarrassment, Steve's gentle yet firm grip did not allow it.

Thor continued,"Nahvalia never stooped to our level. Ever the mystery and paragon of restraint, this one is. Sif was jealous of her the moment they were introduced."

"She had no reason to be," Nahvalia growled quietly.

Steve's brow furrowed in amazed confusion."What was the problem?"

Nahvalia replied before Thor could, "Sif has worshiped Thor since birth. She was terrified I would set my attentions on him, stealing Odin's heir from her with my feminine wiles."

Thor laughed, "Be that as it may, Nahvalia was everything Sif was not. Sif could not have acted a lady at that age if her life had depended on it. Sif trained with us, fighting in the dirt. Sif never wore dresses. Nahvalia was proficient in arms because her position demanded it, otherwise she preferred magic. When she rode, her skirts were properly divided as a ladies should be.

On this day in question, Nahvalia was leaving the palace with Loki and Sif was leaving the training grounds with the Warriors Three and myself. Sif overheard Fandral and Volstagg telling me about the beauty of our foreign princess and how her company was lost on one such as Loki. Sif stood there in her mismatched armor looking at Nahvalia in her silken gown and lost her temper. She stated loudly enough for all to hear that due to such ladylike airs Nahvalia was unable to dress alone, nevermind fight. Sif said she preferred to be able to defend her country with a weapon than be trotted out simpering to win a husband like a common whore.

Nahvalia's celerity was astonishing. She pulled Fandral's practice sword from his hand, struck Sif in the nose with the hilt and swept Sif's feet from under her ; leaving Sif on her back in the dirt blood covering her face. Nahvalia stood over her the end of the sword pointed at Sif's throat while we looked on in amazement. She told Sif that she was only going to be capable of wedding a troll as a troll wouldn't mind the smell. No true Asgardian male wanted such a heathen to wife. Then Nahvalia handed Fandral back his weapon and continued on her way as if nothing has occurred."

Stev's eyes widened with surprise and respect. Nahvalia was hoping for a mild catastrophe to end the conversation thus putting a halt to her mortification. Thor smiled at the two of them, admiring how well they got on together. How happy they looked. It was a beautiful couple they made in his mind.

"As wonderful as this has been, it has made me long for the company of my Lady Jane. Captain, She has a mild gentle nature. A beautiful face and the heart of a warrior queen. Love her well. She has long deserved to be loved. I am grateful she finally found someone worthy to give it to.

My dear little sister. I have long missed your smile. I am happy to see it recovered at long last. Take care of my brother, Steve. He's a good man. Good night." Thor hugged her and kissed the top of her head.

"Good night." She smiled into his chest. 

"He's right. You are beautiful. Steve spoke into her ear, holding her after Thor had gone. He felt the shiver run through her body as she rested her hands over his at her waist.

"He's right about something else too."

"And what is that?" He asked his lips caressing the shell of her ear. He smiled when she shivered again.

"I love you." She said quietly.

Steve blinked at the back of her head,"Excuse me? What?"

She turned in his arms, placing her hands behind his neck. "I said, I love you."

He pulled her hands down and kissed them. "Isn't he like your older brother?"

"He is." she smiled up at him kissing his hands.

"He's one of my co-workers,"Steve said seriously.

"He is." Nahvalia nodded.

"I really enjoy working with him. So I like it when he's happy."

"I like it when you're both happy."She tilted her head looking at him.

A strange look came over Steve's face as he captured her left hand. "You know you're going t keep this up and you'll have to upgrade my finger." His eyes drifted down to her lower lip caught in her teeth. "You may also look into not doing that too."

That small wicked smile that was all her was back as she looked up at him through her eyelashes, "My darling Captain, why in the world would I stop? You've already warned me about it. Why would I cease doing something that will get me everything I want?"She stepped away from him and closed the door. "You should probably go to bed or you'll be waking up beside me tomorrow."

Steve groaned, "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Oh no, but give you a reason to sleep in late or miss work? Yes."

Steve started to reply but her upraised hand forestalled him. "I want this to be right for both of us. I am willing to continue to try. I would just like to point out that too many more nights like this and the decision will be made for us."

"I am going to be requesting that upgrade very soon." He gazed lovingly at her.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, Rogers." She said in warning.

"Not a threat, Baby Girl. A promise."He said kissing her again.

"Then you need to let me go right now, 'cause I know you don't start what you can't finish. I have some very old fashioned ideas about that sort of thing. As do you." She stepped back again.

"Wait. You mean you're.."

"Yes. This surprises you?" Her eyebrow wryly raised.

Steve blushed furiously, "I-I mean...I just....You and Loki , so I..."

She laughed and placed a finger over his lips, "I can be very patient. I wanted to be married first. I still do. I can be quite persuasive when it comes to getting what I want."

He kissed her finger, "That makes me happier than you'll ever know."

"Why is that?"

He pulled her to him tightly, "Because I'm not fond of sharing."

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" She whispered staring at his lips.

"No, Baby Girl." He whispered back, slowly leaning down. "That's how it is." He kissed her passionately before going to their separate bedrooms.

 

Washington D.C. April 2014

Alexander Pierce had ensured the line was encrypted and secured before making this phone call. "Pierce. To what do I owe the privilege of this call?"

"Malick, I need to know that if this goes wrong, you remember what to do." Alexander in a serious tone.

"Of course. We recover the asset. Then send Ross after the Avengers." Malick answered instantly.

"Good."

"Anything else?" The World Councilman asked. 

"Yeah. Hail HYDRA." Pierce disconnected the call.


	21. Redolence

After the incident in New York, SHIELD had moved its headquarters to Washington DC. Steve wasn't happy about the change of location , but they made it work as best they could. Nahvalia had traveled to see him as he had her when the time was afforded. He worked, tried to stay safe and called as often as he could. Nahvalia took the time she'd normally have spent with him and divided it between Peggy, her dissertation, and various tasks for Director Fury.

She had consulted on a formula for a project in French Polynesia for Fury. She had assisted in testing formula Dr. Banner had created for stress control. Nahvalia was a bit unnerved by the chemical's intensity. It would have knocked out a fully grown male elephant in the prime of health and in a must. She texted Steve throughout the day. Telling him the trivial details, safe in the knowledge this wasn't a phone he carried unless he was off. He had once returned to one hundred seventy-four texts after being gone a week. 

It pained him to be away from her this long. He cleared his head with his morning run. His thoughts on if he should ask her to move down. Should he wait? Was it too soon to ask her? Each question only dragging more with it until his thoughts were keeping pace with his strides. "On your left." He called absently to another jogger. He didn't want to explain to anyone, let alone Nahvie, that he'd struck a pedestrian. He could hear her taunts in his head now. He smiled as he wished she were here to deliver them. 

He recalled the one they'd had the day before. "Hello, Baby Girl. Have you taken over the world yet?"

"Nope. You want me to? I can have an army here in five days." She'd replied in a deadpan voice. 

"Please tell me you're joking." He had said. 

"Yeah. I wouldn't take over the world with an army. I've seen how that works out. There are more subtle ways."

He had chuckled not entirely sure how much, if any of that, were a joke. "How was your day?" He had laid back on the mattress in his apartment. This one was lumpy. The apartment didn't feel like his. Why did everything look like a hotel or a show apartment ? Why wasn't he at her house? He cradled the phone to his ear and closed his eyes. 

She would be sitting in her little office in the townhouse. Her feet would be bare and her legs crossed under her as she delicately cradled her chin on her fingers, palm up. Her tongue would be poking between her lips and a crease would form just slightly too much to the left to be the exact center. The wealth of her hair would be up and out of her way. She hadn't moved in hours. She would look down at the phone and see his name and she would smile. She would turn away from the laptop, uncoil her legs, and stretch. She would rub her eyes and let her hair fall from the clip. She would check the time and realize that she had again forgotten to eat. She would walk out onto the patio, only to forget again. She would lie down on the overstuffed patio couch and stretch out before asking him a question she knew the answer to so she could mute the phone and light a cigarette.

He missed a vital detail: she got a drink. He heard her steps before a sigh," I miss you."

"I miss you more, Baby Girl." He said. She could hear his tiredness in his voice. She could see him, lying on a crap mattress, mind stretched too far. Working himself to distraction for a weekend off. His hair would be just a tad mussed. He would roll his neck needing it rubbed. He would finger tired from his eyes as he fought sleep for this conversation. 

"Now it's going to be a contest? Not like you to be so competitive." She laughed. They were quiet for a moment leaving the next words unsaid. Neither of them spoke of Bucky often, it hurt too much.

"Seriously, what did you do today?" He moved the conversation forward. He wasn't there to wipe the sadness from her face. She wasn't here to kiss the guilt from his eyes.

"I rode. I ran. I lifted. I wrote. I drew. I invested. I talked to you." Nahvie retraced every step of her day in barest terms. Too much detail and he would find something he disapproved of.

"You didn't mention food, Nahvalia." He said at almost the same time she thought she'd gotten off free. "Go at least fix a smoothie. Tell me what you're putting in it." She rolled her eyes. "And don't roll your eyes at me. Go. Now. I need to hear the blender before I go to sleep."

"Aye, Captain." She huffed as she went back inside. "Now, you tell me what you've done today. I'm sure you've rescued at least nine kittens from trees, helped fourteen old ladies cross the street, and caused hordes of DC's young women to swoon." 

He laughed at her, "No kittens today, Baby Girl. And only one elderly lady."

"What's going on with you, Rogers? The Boy Scout off his game today? Bananas, apple, protein powder because I don't want any trouble, strawberries, and water. Oh, and ice." She turned on the blender knowing she'd missed an ingredient.

"Yogurt, Nahvie. You forgot the..." He sighed knowing damn good and well she'd heard him. She did not like yogurt. He waited for the blender to stop. "You need to take as good of care of yourself as you do others. How many times did you eat yesterday?"He knew the answer.

"Uh..." Her pause betrayed her guilt.

"And the day before?"

"Umm......"

"Nahvie, I can't do this and worry about you too. We've had this talk more than I want to acknowledge. You know what I do. Do you want me hurt because I'm thinking about how many times you've eaten that day or if you're working too hard?" He tried guilt. He'd never done it before and had high hopes for the rate of its success.

"Of course not! How could you even.....Oh. I see what you're doing." Her chuckle echoed in the glass at her mouth.

"Is it working?" He smirked at the phone.

"Ugh. That protein powder you bought is awful. Next time try a trial size before committing. Ack." She grumped. "I see your point. It is fair. I have caused you much undue stress, strain, and worry. I shall put an alarm on the phone to remind me of my dietary needs. Is that sufficiently compliant to subdue your concerns?" 

"It will have to do for now. It's not ideal, but it will work until I can come up with something more sustainable." He heard the dishwasher open and close followed by a return to the porch. He heard a sharp exhale, she'd flopped on the couch because she was pouting. Her lip was in her mouth. "Nahvie..." He warned. She huffed again. 

"How do you know?" She whined dramatically. 

"Baby Girl, the years haven't changed you as much as you might like to think. You and Buck got to play while I got to watch. I'm a talented watcher." He smiled.

"More like stalker." She growled. He looked at the time as the background noise went silent. "I'm sure you had much better things to do with your time than stare at me."

"Yeah, I stared at him." He scoffed. "One of these days we are going to go through my sketchbooks together and you'll see. Besides, I wasn't the only one watching you. I'll tell you that story another day. Right now, it's after midnight and you need to be in bed." He ran his hand through his hair hating this part most of all.

"Yeah." She sighed. He heard the porch door open, close, and lock. She heard her feet on the steps knowing she was taking them three at a time. He heard a door close and then a rustle. Then her breath heavily expelled. "Alright, I'm in bed. Good night."

"Good night. Sweet dreams." He whispered.

"Sweet dreams." She made a kissing noise on the phone before she hung up. He watched her picture fade from the screen.

"On your left." He warned the same jogger from before.

"Come on, man!" He heard from behind him causing him to smile. He came back around and introduced himself. 

"Trouble man soundtrack." He was told. He added it to his list.It drew a smile from him. Nahvie hated disco, she had told him heatedly 'That shit will not be played while I am in earshot.'. She hated outer space movies, 'Seriously? You know now and you're asking me why?'. Maybe this would be a recommendation she would approve of. His phone conveyed two messages. The first from Nahvie: As per your request I have just been alerted to eat. I have a surgery waiting. But I have the reminder. Mwah! The second from Natasha. She must have thought his new acquaintance was attractive because she began with the sass the moment she stopped. 

"Can't run everywhere." His new friend, Sam had said. Big gray eyes appeared in his head. "No, you can't." He answered.

Nahvalia was at home when she received the call from Fury. She was in the hotel when Hill called her. Nahvalia was scrubbing out from stabilizing the Director when Nat and Steve looked in the window. She finished changing and checked her phone. Steve hadn't messaged or called. She dialed the number she'd been given to request extraction. It broke her heart that they were hiding things from each other again.

Nahvalia was teaching classes when Steve became SHIELD's most wanted for the death of a man who wasn't. He had texted her to tell her not to believe what she saw on television and that he was safe. She didn't respond. For the first time since Constance had died, she drank herself to sleep. She didn't seek peace in the forest. There was no peace to be found there anymore. Instead, she walked the battlefields from her past as Bucky screamed for her in the fire.

The next day she was back on a plane to see to the treatment of Fury. She had checked all of the charts assuring herself he was clear for surgery. She was finishing him up and readying herself to leave when Maria was called away for an incident on the bridge. She left after the other surgeon told her he was capable of a GSW by himself. Then SHIELD fell.

The news was full of vitriol for the organization. No one knew what had happened to Captain Rogers. Some news reporters had speculated about his death. Nahvalia couldn't watch the news, it made her sick. No one called to tell her he'd been recovered, they called to tell her they had an emergency. She left the house and boarded a quinjet. She was handed a chart listing various serious injuries.

"How is this person still alive with all of this?" She asked in revolted astonishment.

"It's Captain Rogers, ma'am. They called you because you're the best." The young agent said with a small amount of pride.

Nahvalia's step betrayed the slightest hesitation before she strode onward. She changed her clothes and scrubbed in, setting bones and repairing tortured organs. After three hours of surgery, Steve was out of the woods and stable. She scrubbed out after she'd done all of his stitches. Stretching her back she asked a nurse where she might go to finish her notes. The nurse looked at her in awe.

"Are you Dr. Stanton?" The girl asked in a reverent whisper.

Nahvalia's eyebrow crept toward the surgical cap she still wore, the disposable one that had covered it during the procedure had been disposed of. "Yes, I am. How may I assist you?" She answered the girl cautiously. She knew this would be the prime opportunity for someone to do Steve great harm. Finish the job. 

"I read about the procedure you did on Mr. Stark. I just wanted to say, I was with you in the OR just now and you were amazing!" The girl gushed her praise over an embarrassed Nahvie.

"Umm....thank you." She returned, unsure what to do. This hadn't happened to her before. "I..umm...need an office so I can..." she gestured helplessly at the paperwork in her hands.

"Oh sure! This way!" The nurse led her to a quiet office with security monitoring screens off Steve's room. "An Agent Hill had this space set up for you. Cameras and everything! I guess that's a job perk, getting to stare at that all day. Damn, he's beautiful." The nurse sighed. Nahvie looked at the girl in question. "Oh well, I'm sure you have work to do. I've got to get back to mine. An honor to meet you, Doctor." She rushed from the room leaving Nahvie to survey her surroundings. 

Her new 'office' was a security room. Hill had a cot placed in here so Nahvie could rest, monitor her patient, and no one would be the wiser she was there. She was provided a badge by the hospital staff. Major Stanton's rank had been restored and she was serving as military personal physician to the patient no one could know was there. No one questioned her as she left and entered the building. She watched people visit Steve. There was audio but she had no desire to spy on his guests. He still hadn't woken. She hadn't gone to introduce herself to his newest guests but had an inkling who they were based on the registry the nurses had provided. 

Sam had rarely left his side since he'd been moved from ICU. That instantly endeared him to Nahvalia. Natasha had stopped in to see if he was awake and to let Sam know about the hearing. A blonde had stopped in once, Nahvie carefully avoided her. This was S. Carter and Nahvie didn't want to know any more. 

She tried to sleep. She tossed and turned on the cot. She cursed the cramped space, but she knew it wasn't that. She fell fitfully to sleep, exhaustion finally winning out. She dreamed of the kitchen at her farm. Steve dreamed the same. 

Asgard

Loki could feel her sleeping. The pathway to thoughts though was still difficult. He saw her dancing in her kitchen. Her arms around the neck of the soldier and beautiful on her face. He could not hear their conversation, he didn't need to. Their faces plainly showed how they felt about each other. Loki's heart twisted at her smile. It was the same smile she had once saved for him. Loki left the dream plotting revenge on both of them. 

 

Washington DC

Once Steve had regained consciousness, Nahvalia readied herself to leave DC. She walked down the hall to Steve's room. Sam was leaving, headed to the cafeteria. They met outside Steve's closed door.

"Hello, Beautiful. We haven't met before. I'm Sam." He smiled charmingly at her.

"Nice to meet you, Sam. I'm Nahvalia." Her face politely professional.

"That's a beautiful name. May I ask what you're doing here?" Sam still hadn't lost the charm, he's merely added defensive.

"Thank you. I came to check on the Captain before I returned home."

"Ah. A friend of Steve's. He does seem to surround himself with the most lovely women I've seen. May I get you a cup of coffee?"

"No, thank you. I'm more of a consulting physician. I helped with Captain Roger's surgery. I just wanted to be sure he's not in any pain before I left." 

"If you were my doctor and I could keep you here because I was in pain? I'd be in absolute agony." He teased. She laughed lightly.

"He isn't the type. Besides, he knows better than to lie to me. He's never developed the talent." 

Sam's eyes narrowed momentarily, knowing there was more in that statement than he had guessed. "Well, I'll leave you to it. Hope to see you around, Nahvalia."

"You as well, Sam. Nice to have met you." She opened the door. She wasn't sure if he was awake or asleep. She went to his bedside and brushed the hair from his forehead. Her eyes sad at the mess someone had made of his face and form. She took several deep breaths as she realized how close she had come to losing him.

Without opening his eyes, Steve said,"I knew you'd come. How long was I out?" He took her hand.

"One hundred forty-two hours and never do that to me again."

"It wouldn't have happened at all, but it was Bucky."

"What?" She whispered in disbelief.

"The Winter Soldier. Baby Girl, Bucky isn't dead. I don't know how or why but HYDRA picked him up, gave him a bionic arm and brainwashed him. He attacked us on the bridge and then at the helicarriers. I have to find him, Nahvie. Together we can help him."

"We'll talk about that somewhere else, okay? I'm going home. You need to concentrate on getting better."

"Nahvie, you can't leave now. I need you here." Steve pulled her to sit on the bed.

"Babe, you have a super spy almost camped outside with a trained soldier. You don't need me for anything. I have really enjoyed the anonymity with your team. I don't want to create targets or complications for you."

Steve quirked a grin at her, "You are here as my doctor. Besides, if Natasha knew about us she'd stop trying to hook me up with other people. Have you met Sharon by the way?"

"That isn't why I'm leaving and you know it. You could have died. I understand why you feel you need to do this. I understand the reasons we stay quiet. I just worry about you." She told him seriously.

"Then don't worry and just stay." He pleaded.

"That conference was a joke." Natasha started and abruptly stopped. She eyed Nahvalia seated on Steve's bed, their hands joined. "Sorry, I should have knocked." She began. Nahvalia shook her head and stood up. "I should go." Natasha tried again, turning for the door.

"No. I have a flight to catch. The two of you have much to discuss." She leaned over and kissed Steve's cheek, whispering, "I'll see you at home." She smiled at Natasha as she took her leave.

"Isn't that the doctor from New York?" Nat asked lightly.

"On the list of things you need to know about in my life, she is non-existent," Steve answered in a commanding tone shifting in his bed.

"She looked pretty existent to me." Nat teased.

"Nahvalia is my business. My advice is to stay the hell out of my personal life and stop trying to set me up." Steve gave the spot she had sat a lop-sided smile.

"What?" Natasha asked.

"I don't think I've ever seen her jealous. I was wondering what it would look like. Given what I do and do not know about that woman, if I were you I would really stop trying to set me up."

For once Natasha let the matter go.

 

Nahvalia made it back to New York City, her destination the townhouse. She made tea and sat outside. The events and news too much to handle with a crowd. She wasn't ready for the questions to start. Her mind assailed by enough questions of her own. The dreams, that Bucky would have tried to kill Steve, all of it boiled down to one glaring question : why? She determined to answer that question when she felt herself being watched. Not hunted, just watched. She reached out to the minds around her feeling for intention. The pull of one mind indicated she had found her target. She turned slowly, carefully giving him time to run, hide or step forward. In the shadow of the vacant house across from hers and made eye contact with him. 

She would have known him anywhere with that face. She was angered by the fear, loss, and confusion in his eyes. He had no idea why he'd been drawn here and was uneasy she had located him. But she seemed as familiar as the man from the river had. His eyes were slowly breaking her heart. She held eye contact until he'd disappeared. She had work to do and it needed to be done quickly.

One did not live in New York City long before learning about people with certain skill sets. She located a PI who had a reputation for keeping quiet. Nahvalia hired her to take pictures and make sure she didn't scare her target. Nahvie then called the barristers in London for James Buchanan Barnes had lost his passport and would be needing it soon. She then called the bank to be sure his account was still active and requested new documentation. Nahvalia then drove to Brooklyn to see someone she rarely checked in with: Rebecca Barnes Proctor. 

Becca had married had children, outlived them and was raising her grandkids. She had grown into a stereotypical Brooklyn grandmother. She sat on the stoop and made sure the children were safe. She walked to the market and back. No one would have dared to have mugged this woman. She knew everyone. Nahvalia parked on the street in front of her house. She took a deep breath and left the car.

"Hey, Becca." She called softly to the elderly woman.

"Huh." Becca snorted. "Been a while since you bothered to come and visit. Need to set up a trust fund for my grandbabies. Case something happens to me. Get over here, girl. My knees ain't what they used to be." Nahvalia shook her head and went to go help. "You know some trick to not getting old? I'd let you take my trust fund if you gave me some of what you got."

"Try not being human, Becca. It does wonders for the no aging process." Nahvie smiled wryly.

"I noticed something had changed. That's it. " She opened the door and sat down in the kitchen while Nahvalia poured coffee and sat down. "So. Why are you here? You don't come visit as often as you should, ya know. I get lonely."

Nahvalia looked guilty, "I know Becca. I apologize. I will try to do better and maybe bring Steve next time. This visit isn't a pleasantries visit, Becks. This is about Bucky. " Nahvie watched the old pain cross her face.

"What about him?" The elderly woman asked about her big brother.

"He's alive. I've seen him. And he isn't himself." Nahvalia told her with all of her customary tact and delicacy.

"Okay. What are you doing to help?" Becca knew Nahvie. She knew this woman would not leave any of their family to struggle alone. She might not visit. She probably wouldn't tell you the slightest hint of her own problems, but she was guaranteed to each of her family's issues. She would move heaven and earth to fix this one.

"I've gotten identification and money for him. I'm sure He'll come back again. He needs time, Becks. I am not sure what is going on, but he needs space. He isn't sure who I am and he tried to kill Steve. If anyone asks, you make up a story. His name is James Buchanan Barnes, he is your family."

"I can do that. Same as I do for you around here." Becca told her bluntly.

Nahvalia frowned in surprise, "Wait. You have a story for me? I am my niece. I don't need a fabrication."

Becca scoffed, " Darlin' I know you have no time for mirrors and public opinion, but a girl who looks like your 'family' always has attracted far too much attention never being seen with men. You are my niece the by-product of a tragic love affair between your grandmother Ashton and my brother James."

Nahvalia's nose wrinkled in dismay."Becks! Are you kidding me? That's...that's just.....wrong!"

"Think what you want to think, Stanton. What is truly wrong is you thinking being alone as long as you have been is okay. Come visit more often. Take care of my Steve. Find my brother." Becca called after her as she took her leave. "Oh, Bucky." She whispered quietly into the stillness of her home.

Nahvalia took the paperwork and put it in a backpack. She had carefully written instructions and passcodes so he wouldn't have any major issues. She went into Steve's room and found their boxes. She selected photos and letters cautiously. If what she suspected were true, he would need to come back to himself slowly and on his own. If forced he could shatter completely. She put the backpack in her closet and waited for him to return. 

She felt him outside the next day. She took the bag from the closet and made her way across the street slowly. She had added items: pens, notebooks, and several energy bars. She watched him sulk deeper into the small breezeway between the buildings. She stopped half way, not breaking eye contact and set the bag down. She walked backward in the direction she'd come. 

He approached the bag warily. He picked it up as if it would explode. She turned then and crossed the street. Knowing he had tools that would keep him alive. She made coffee and checked her phone. There was a message from Steve. She poured herself a cup and walked outside. She had been preparing to call when she felt that watched sensation again. She turned to look down the alley. Bucky stood at the edge of the shadow, a ghost of a smile there. She raised her hand in a tiny wave. His head moved in the barest of nods. Then he was gone.

She blinked quick tears from her eyes and drew a quivering breath. She cleared her throat several times before trying to call again. He answered on the second ring, "Hey, Baby Girl. I miss you."

Bucky found a flight to Bucharest. He had a little difficulty with TSA. "Sir, would you remove your jacket?" He complied. The agents gasped in astonishment over his arm. They checked through the identifying documents.

"It says here you lost your arm in combat. Stark Industries gave you the prosthetic for your exemplary service to our country." One of the agents said.

Bucky nodded mutely before speaking, "Feels like I've been in combat forever." His voice sounded rough even to his own ears.

"Thank you for your service, Sir. Welcome home." The agent said with a kind smile.

Bucky smiled himself at the old joke. "I'm enlisted. Not a 'sir'. I work for a living." The agent laughed as well, having heard his uncle say something similar. They waved him through.

He sat in the terminal indicated on his ticket and began looking through the contents of the bag. Blank pages waited for his words and thoughts. Pictures of people he knew he should remember were tucked into the cover of a book. Pens sat behind plastic waiting for use. He thought of that blonde hair catching the light and the shadows of the alley. He remembered...

"Ash?.....You had a.....frail....moment....at the school the other day. I need to know why."

He remembered those eyes going wide and turning from gray to green. He didn't remember the words, but he knew she was lying. "Halsford Ashton Stanton, do not lie to me."

"Bucky, I can't tell you this."

"Why?"

"I will not give you secrets to keep from Steve. Someday, I will have reason t tell you the truth. I know I cannot stop them from coming for me eventually. Until then, please, allow me to harbor my secret." He remembered she had shimmered a bit in the light. She looked then like she looked today. 

He had wanted to ask her questions but had settled for her promise. She had hugged him after. He tore the pens open and began to write:

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes 

Captain Steve Rogers (Friend?): Not my mission. Captain America. He knows me. With you til the end of the line

Ash: friend. Not my mission. I don't kill blondes. She takes care of us.


	22. Conviviality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a/n: This bit was written during Christmas 2015. If you aren't feeling the Christmas spirit feel free to wait until then. Have a wonderful day. Thank you for reading. -Your Humble Author

December 2014

Hunting HYDRA became the Avengers full-time job following the fall of SHIELD. Fury had moved their base of operations back to New York albeit not New York City. Nahvie was finished with her final argument and awaiting the university's decision on her doctorate. She had confidence that her paper would be enough. She had documented several cases of PTSD thanks to Tony and Sam. She continued working with Peggy and collateral damage by helping with crowd control at more populated areas. She had become quite the little assistant to Dr. Banner and his research. Tony admired her medical genius while trying to determine the nature of her relationship with Steve. They maintained a quiet professionalism but it was no secret he stayed at her house on the weekends.

"Private therapy sessions." Natasha had explained to Stark.

"Yeah, I bet. Where do I sign up for those?" Tony asked.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "I will never understand how Pepper puts up with you."

"Me either." Tony agreed.

In addition to helping veterans with their recovery, Nahvalia found herself counseling various team members with random issues. Clint and his trouble dealing with his double life. Bruce and Hulk and their mutual fear of the other. Nat and the damage that was done to her during her time in the Red Room. Nahvie listened, rarely offering advice. They didn't come to her as a therapist, they came to her as a friend.

As Steve visited frequently there were now fewer places in New York they had not been together. Some nights they spent dinner with maps between them guessing at locations HYDRA had hidden Bucky. Other nights they spent cuddled on the couch catching up on cinematic history. Steve slept in his room and Nahvie in hers. 

Christmas was fast approaching. The team was going one last mission before taking a break (barring catastrophe) for the holidays. Steve found Nahvalia with a tape recorder and a book. He had news for her. He brushed a kiss onto her cheek. "Good morning, Baby Girl."

"Good morning. Sleep well?" She asked distractedly.

"Yeah. And how about you?" He asked gauging her level of attention.

"Hmmm." She grunted in answer.

"We're going to Europe."

"Hmmm." She grunted again.

"It's one of the locations on the map."He waited.

"Hmmm." She repeated with no change in her attention.

"I might find Bucky."

"Hmmm." She answered again.

"I could be gone for a couple weeks."

"Hmmm."

"I may have to go undercover." He crossed his arms as he watched her ignore him.

"Hmmm." Her grunting had yet to even change the tone.

"I'll be wearing a dress."

"Hmmm." She grunted again.

"Baby Girl." He leaned into her face and waited for eye contact.

"Yeah?" She met his eyes. Finally tearing her gaze from the page. She blinked several times.

"We are going to one of the locations Bucky may be held. I could be gone for two weeks."He repeated.

"Oh. Be careful and dress warm." She settled her chin on her fingers.

"When we get back Tony is throwing a Christmas party. We are encouraged to bring a plus one." Steve told her meaningfully.

"Sam will be so happy to go. He loves attending Stark's parties." She smiled at him. He sighed and hung his head in frustration. She can be so oblivious, he thought, heaving a sigh.

"I am asking you to be my plus one." He spoke very plainly and patiently.

Nahvalia looked at Steve as she debated. She wasn't sure a party was a good idea. So far they had managed to keep a certain amount of personal distance between her and the team. This had the possibility of changing that. Steve though had his heart in his eyes and she had never been able to say no to that face. "I'll go with you if you really want me to and you think it wise."

"It would mean a lot to me if you did. He said sincerely.

"Is it formal?"

Of course, she'd ask that, he thought. "I'm not sure but I'll find out."

"Okay." She smiled.

"Okay." He said excitedly. He kissed her passionately before taking his leave. Two weeks was a damned long time, he thought as he grabbed his gear and headed out to meet up with the team.

Nahvalia blinked and tried to remember the whole conversation. She had been researching counteractive measures for mental conditioning. She'd had an idea and now she was having trouble with both that and what Steve had said. A Christmas party. She looked at the date on her laptop hoping it was months away. Nope. Days. She was struck by the differences between her Christmases with Steve then versus the one facing her in days. 

Sasha, Ida, and Sarah would have come and decorated the house. It would have been brimming with festivity and heavy with the scent of cookies. Now there was no sign of the Yuletide season. Nahvalia Googled made phone calls and saved many pictures.

While Steve was away she'd had the outside strung in white lights. Every door in the house had a wreath. Small Christmas trees sat on the vanity in every bathroom. Poinsettias were in each bedroom and on every stair. Evergreen garlands wrapped with lights and velvet ribbons were settled over the stair rails. The dining room table sported bowls of ornaments and candles. The foyer had a six-foot tree with rustic hand- carved ornaments. The tree in the living room was almost three times that size and limned in elegance. However, her favorite was the tree in the family room. It was twelve feet tall wrapped with garland and lights. The ornaments on this tree were those she had collected over the years. When the last touches were finished she sighed in satisfaction. She tidied the house, took a shower, lit the outside lights and went to bed. 

When she woke the next morning she clapped her hands in pure joy. A thick blanket of snow had fallen. She had decorated right on time. One of the things she had missed on Asgard was snow. Alfheim had the regular seasons, colorful ones at that. Her favorite had always been winter. She loved New York. She loved it more under snow. She called the snow removal service and proceeded to ready herself for work.

Steve had been gone for ten days. The mission had been more tedious than dangerous but he now had a clearer view of where Bucky could be found. They touched down and he disembarked. He walked to the conference room anxious to have the debriefing finished. He hadn't had pilot duties and the hanger had no windows he was passing the large windows of the compound when he noticed the snow. He smiled as he continued to walk. Natasha caught up to him.

"Looking forward to cuddling with someone?" She asked quietly, a knowing half-smile on her lips.

"Not with that one. She'll have me out building snowmen or sledding. God only knows if she's taken up extreme winter sports."

"You don't sound happy about that so why are you smiling?" She asked in consternation.

"Because for once, I'm going to be able to do those things with her. I used to have to stay indoors and watch from the window. I'll actually be able to have a snowball fight with her." He chuckled quietly.

"Why is that funny? She's got a deadly aim." Natasha was really frowning now.

"With a gun, yeah. With a snowball no. Her arm is crap. Mainly because she's always laughing too hard." Steve smiled at Natasha. He had a little extra spring in his step. She couldn't help but be happy for him.

Steve stood staring in wonderment. He had been reunited with Nahvalia for two years. In all that time she'd never decorated for anything. Now here he stood in front of a scene fit for a Christmas card. He opened the door quietly and took in the sights there. The smells of vanilla, cinnamon, and pine permeated the air. The interior was a beautiful, breathtaking sight. It reminded him tenderly of the past. 

Smiling he went up the stairs and peeked in on her. Her hands pillowed her face and she was curled into a ball. She looked peaceful. He back out of the door closing it softly and went to his room. He was greeted by new pajamas on his bed. He showered and chuckled to himself as he donned his new Big Daddy Clause pj's and went to sleep.

He woke to the smell of cookies and Bing Crosby. Grabbing his bathrobe he entered the kitchen and encountered a sight that melted his heart. Nahvalia had plates upon plates stacked with fresh cookies. She was in the middle of an apparently delicate operation. The end of her tongue peeked from between her lips signifying her intense concentration. It seemed each cookie was to receive the benefit of her incredibly focused attention. Silver and gold covered balls served as buttons, the center of bows or decorations on a skirt were placed with precision by her steady surgeon's hands and a pair of tweezers. Her unwavering attention to decorating failed to notice Steve working his way to the coffeepot.

He eyed her handiwork while she endured the intense cookie decorating. She had made sugar cookies that glittered iridescently. Bells gleamed silver and gold with ribbons of holly. Santas' beards were fully curled in cream cheese spun with whipped cream. The reindeer wore elaborate harnesses complete with gold bells. Steve lifted a Santa from the plate and carried it to his mouth hoping she wouldn't notice.

"Let me know if it tastes alright."

"If it tastes half as good as it looks it will be perfection."He smiled. He bit into Santa's foot, a wash of vanilla and delicate almond flooded his taste buds. He sighed in happiness. Nahvalia gave him a half-smile and continued decorating what Steve now knew to be a gingerbread girl.

"What's all this for?" Steve mumbled around his mouthful of cookie.

"Christmas presents for your teammates."

Bewildered, Steve simply nictated at her. It took several seconds for what she had said to penetrate. "My team? You made these for me?"

"Yeah. If you go in the living room you'll see the rest of it." Steve rushed to the living room to see. Various knitted things set alongside jars of homemade cocoa mixes. On the couch sat an array of small puzzles, games and paperback books. For Clint, there were archery gloves. For Tony, a monogrammed sunglasses case. For Natasha , a designer clutch. For Bruce, an engraved pen set. Thor had a new pair of boots. Sam got a new iPod and a thousand dollars worth of iTunes. Off to the side sat a box half-packed with a leather trench coat, knitted beanie, and a multi-tool belt kit. Steve hurried back to the kitchen.

"Where's my stuff?"

She scoffed, "Aren't you missing the point, Boy Scout?"

"Wait, what? No. That was amazing of you. Thank you. I just didn't see anything for me in there." He tried not to seem overzealous.

"Babe, I haven't purchased your gifts yet. That's why they aren't out there. I remember how you can be this time of year, so I removed the temptation."

"Oh." His dejection was evident. Four seconds later the reality of what she had said penetrated his mind and anxiety kicked in. "Oh. So we're at the gift giving stage now?"

She stopped her precision decorating to give him her full attention. Her face wore a confused expression. "Yes, Babe. We are at the gift giving stage of our relationship. At least I am. You do you."

A low-level panic started in his throat. Innuendo. Girl-speak. What had she meant by 'You do you'? Ice cold dread ran from his heart to his toes. He hadn't even thought of what he'd like to get her, let alone what she would want! Pepper! his brain screamed. Must call Pepper. "Excuse me. I have to go find out about the dress codes." Nahvalia watched in stunned silence as Steve ran to the garage. His motorcycle tearing down the driveway in haste. 

Pepper was immediately helpful. Tony had been infinitely less so. Pepper calmed him. She had taken him aside and asked a ton of questions. Together he and Pepper had purchased a scarf, a pair of driving gloves, and a new journal. All of which was beautifully wrapped and on it's way to Nahvie's house by car now. It had been over the nature of dress for the party that Tony had proven to be difficult.

"Who are you bringing?" Tony demanded.

"A friend." Steve eluded.

"People are going to start talking if they haven't already if you keep bringing Wilson as your date," Tony replied.

"It isn't Sam. It's a lady. Now is it formal or not?" Steve asked in a level tone.

"Is it that delightful little doctor you and Fury found?" Tony guessed. Steve's blush was enough of a reply for Tony. "She isn't the sort I'd have pegged you for, Cap."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Steve asked beginning to get defensive. Aware that the team didn't know about the true nature of their acquaintance. 

"Don't get me wrong. She's a ten. Just don't you think she wants someone who can text?"

Steve sucked at his teeth before he smiled. "You mean someone more modern. Technologically proficient. Someone more her age?"

"Yeah," Tony concluded, happy this conversation had gone so well. 

"Believe me. I know how she looks, but I promise you not very far deep down she's an old-fashioned girl." Steve said.

"Alright. It's your rejection, pal. Party starts at eight and it's informal but look pretty."Tony answered.

"No doubt about that," Steve commented to himself.

 

Steve returned to Nahvalia's house to change, help her load the car and drive over. It had been an extra special treat when she handed him the keys to her car so he could drive. He had noted her lack of a driver. The nature along with the price tag of the beasts she drove spoke volumes about her. One of them being Nahvalia had become a closet racing car fanatic. 

It had taken three trips to empty the car of gifts. They had it all in the elevator with them. Steve was still astonished she had done so much in ten days. Where had she found the energy? He smiled at her unwitting self with love and pride. They were bombarded the moment the door opened. 

She was happy everyone enjoyed their gifts. She liked meeting Jane and Pepper. She was grateful to learn the Avengers were taking the holiday off. She shared a dance with everyone. But she was most grateful when she got to go home and crawl into bed knowing there wasn't anything she needed to do tomorrow. Steve would have the memory of her in the Captain America onesie she was proudly wearing to bed. A gift, of course, from Natasha.

December 25th, 2014

Nahvalia had prepared as much as she could. It was now just a matter of letting it cook. Carols were playing quietly throughout the house. She sat down for the first time in hours with a cup of hot cocoa watching the snow fall from the window. It reminded her of past holidays, the sensation of nostalgia was thick.

Steve wandered into the room and sat quietly beside her. Nahvie smiled at him sadly and sighed. "I apologize we haven't found him yet, Darlin'. It hurts to know he's out there."

Steve nodded. "Won't be for much longer. With you and Sam helping, we'll have him home soon."

"That's when the real work begins."

"You up for the challenge, Baby Girl?"Steve was half teasing , half serious.

"For you? Anytime." She stood and wrapped her arms around him.

He pulled away from her, catching her hands in his. "It will be fine. We'll figure it out as we need to. We' will find him and you'll fix him and all will be right in our world. Right now, though, I need you to go get bundled up. I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?" She jumped from the chair, expectation clearly written on her face.

"Not telling. Go and make sure you're dressed warm. We're going out."

"But what about dinner?" She argued.

"Not going to work, Stanton. We both know dinner is going to be at three this afternoon like it always is on Christmas. We're going out for maybe an hour. Tops. Dress warm and do it now." Steve crossed his arms and gave her his most authoritative look.

She opened her mouth to speak then thought better of it. Five minutes later Nahvie was ready to go. He opened the door to a horse-drawn carriage. She looked at him in absolute speechless adoration. He smiled and took her hand.

They were snuggled into quilts and warmed by apple cider. The light snow made the ride even more enchanting as they passed through the historic district with its wrought iron fences and lamp posts. Steve watched her gasp in happiness and wonder.

"I think we need to have a conversation." He spoke softly.

"You do? Right now?" She blinked at him startled.

"It's one that's been a long time in the making, Stanton."He continued as she frowned at him.

"I love you. I have loved you since you were mistaken for a boy. I have loved you even though you struck me out in baseball."

"That is because you don't keep your eye on the ball." She said.

"I loved you when you left me in DC. because you were upset but you still got Nat a Christmas present. I loved you when you poured over maps with me to look for my best friend."

"I'm your best friend." Her eyebrow rose in another familiar gesture. Steve smiled softly. Oblivious, he thought.

"I will love you always, Steven Grant Rogers. Since I was ten and you still thought girls were icky." She confessed quietly. She decided this was the worst way ever to get dumped.

"I never ex[ected things to work out the way they have, but I'm grateful because it brought me back to you. I always want to come back to you. So I need to know if you'll upgrade my finger?" He reached into his pocket for the box he carried. He handed it to her.

Nahvalia opened it to find a diamond sparkling in white gold. Her mouth slacked open in a soundless 'o' as she looked from ring to his face.

Steve lifted her left hand and took the ring from the box. "I'm never sure when you are understanding me. Nahvalia Ja'Darehn, will you marry me?"

"Yes." She whispered. He took the glove from her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. She threw herself at him, kissing him soundly as the driver laughed. He congratulated them, offering a bottle of champagne. He toasted a long life and a happy marriage to the beautiful couple.

 

Asgard

 

Nahvalia's dreams were joyous and filled with thoughts of the damned soldier. Loki seethed in vexation. How dare she forget her King and master? Did she think him a fool to be trifled with? She belonged to him! By what right did she think she could promise herself to another? Loki thumped the table beside him. A serving girl jumped drawing Loki's attention to her. She had elven blood to be sure. She was blonde, she was scared. She would do nicely. She looked at him with wide, terrified eyes over a wine pitcher. 

"You. Go to my bed and stay there." He dismissed the staff outside his room and placed spells of silence outside the door.

Loki had a number of attendants to help support his disguise. He had to continue the ruse until he'd found a way to escape it. The attendants were just a necessary evil. Until now. Tonight this one would serve another purpose, If he could not yet punish his queen , this one would serve in her place. 

The body was disposed of in the morning. No one asked any questions.

 

December 31st, 2014 

New Year's Eve dawned in unfamiliar surroundings for Steve Rogers. For one there were too damn many pillows. He felt as if he were drowning in marshmallows. There were pillows everywhere and a ton of them. The blankets were all feathers or faux fur. He felt at the mountain of fluff atop him and encountered the reason why he was there. He smiled in memory. He had fallen asleep with Nahvie watching Fullmetal Alchemist last night.

She had a tradition of watching the entire show before the first of the year. They had two seasons left, but as he had never seen it, she refused to let him miss anything. He had wanted to continue, but her head lolled onto his chest followed by the leg draped over his. Followed shortly by her head on his chest and he was done. He had sensibly joined her.

Nothing had changed he still served as a pillow, only now he had her back. He curled around her, pleased when she sighed and moved deeper into his arms and chest. He watched the light catch the ring on her finger. Mine, he thought with pleasure as he drifted back to sleep.

 

Asgard

 

Loki's sleep left him angrier by the day. Nahvalia would no longer even think of the forest,let alone visit. She dreamt of the damn soldier instead. Her dreams were now unavailable to his mind. Her guards had gotten that strong. 

As if that weren't enough the Other had come back to show him how the Midgardian mortals were doing better work than he. Loki flung himself from bed in a rage. Wearing Odin's face day after day. His wife in the arms of another. That thing attempting to pretend to be his equal! How dare they? Did they not recall he had at hand a means to end it all? 

Oh, he had not forgotten. And they would all kneel if they forced him to use it.


	23. Misconstrued

New York May 2015

"We should be back within a week, Radio silence, of course."

"Of course."

"None of your sass, please. I need you to listen." He gave her a level look.

"Oh aye, aye, Captain. No sass. All ears. Duly noted." She saluted him smartly, oozing sarcasm.

"I'm not playing, Stanton. I could not forgive myself if something were to happen to you. I want you to check all the windows and doors. If something feels off, call Hill. She'll let me know." He closed the zipper on the bag he'd been packing.

"What the hell, Rogers? I'm not infiltrating an enemy base or getting shot at. Something is going to happen to me. I'll get stuck traffic, have to talk to people." She sighed wearily, "It's going to be hard. I don't know how I'll survive."

"Nahvalia." His voice had dropped an octave in warning, a frown appearing on his forehead.

"You put a ring on it and now you're in dad mode? Don't forget, Captain. I outrank you." She crossed her arms over her chest and met his eyes with her smug expression.

"Oooh. Is that how it is now? Watch out, Stanton. Saying things like that is just begging for some trouble you don't want." He threatened with a laugh.

She lifted an eyebrow. "Don't make idle threats, Steven. It's unbecoming. Your mere words do not meet with the knowledge I have of your strict adherence to schedules and timelines. Combined with your obsession with duty, I am assured of my personal safety in this matter."

"You know what..." He left the threat hanging in the air. He sighed as he looked at her. "You have absolutely no room to talk, my personal favorite workaholic. I am warning you now, I do expect that to change once you are Mrs. Rogers. I should be your first priority then."

Her eyebrow crawled further up her forehead. "That will happen as soon as someone finds the time to make themselves available to be of some assistance in the matter." Her tone aloof.

"Ouch. The first time you ask for my help and it's something girls are supposed to handle? Are you going sentimental on me? What happened to the strong, capable girl I fell in love with?" He teased closing the distance between them.

"She got lost between here and checking all the locks on the windows."

"Haha. Oh, and use the alarm, please? Like actually, arm it. I would feel better knowing you were putting it to use." He scolded as he pulled her resisting form into his arms.

"Oh. Now we're back to dirty tricks and guilt trips. I see your game, Sir, and I raise you several hundred years of life capably and safety lived. Oh, and logic. A shitton of logic. Did I mention intelligence? No? Oh, yeah. There's that too." She looked up at him arms still crossed.

"Okay, okay. You are right." He looked askance at her 'always' murmured under her breath. "I heard that. "I worry, alright. Not my fault you are the most valuable thing in the world to me."He rested his chin on her head when she finally relented and returned his hug. "Promise me you'll be okay."

"I promise. You promise me something?"

"Anything."

"You come back to me in one whole not bleeding piece."

"I promise."

"I'll be here when you get back."

"I love you, Baby Girl."

 

 

Steve secured Von Strucker until agents from NATO had arrived to take him into custody. Tony put the scepter into holding. Steve and Thor stood by in relief that it had been recovered. Natasha was speaking quietly in the corner with Bruce. Steve heard Thor's attempt to reassure Bruce had done well that day. "...sprained deltoids...and...gout." Thor finished.

"How did Nahvalia put up with you?" Steve asked quietly.

"As I've said before, she has a rare gift for tolerance. Evidenced by her engagement to my brother."

They landed and Hill briefed him on the statistics of the Maximoff twins. Steve tried not to dwell on her implication that those children were anything other than pawns trapped by their situation. He entered the elevator grateful he was alone. He texted Nahvie. "I'll be home tonight."

"Good. You've been missed." She returned.

"Why do people feel an obligation to dumb things down for me?"

"Babe, people tend to forget the serum worked on everything and they have no idea you were smart before. Cut them some slack. They are trying to deal with the perfection that is you. You being super intelligent on top of everything else is just too intimidating."

"Why do I feel like you are teasing me?"

"Hmmm...maybe you know me too well?"

"Not well enough, Stanton. Not well enough."

Steve was given three days off. Nahvalia was not. He distracted himself during her absence trying to ignore the growing need to have her home. He'd seen the amount of zeros in her bank account, she didn't have to do any of the work she put herself through. He had a difficult time figuring out why she worked so damn hard. It was six o'clock that evening when he heard her car park in the garage.

He let her settle her bag in her office before pulling her in for a hug. She hummed into his chest. "I could get used to this."

"That's the idea, Baby Girl. Good day?" He asked not letting her go.

"Sure. And how was yours?"

"Boring." He told her, hoping she caught the hint.

"I'm sorry. Maybe you should try a video game. I get lost for hours in Elder Scrolls." She advised.

"Umm...no. Maybe the owner of this lovely home should spend more time in it. It's rude to leave your guests unattended for such a duration of time." He chided.

Her eyes narrowed, "Since when have you ever been a 'guest' in my home, Rogers. Especially given the circumstances. You are almost the home's co-owner. Maybe you should consider spending more time in it as well."

"Tony is throwing a party in a couple of days." He tried.

"That's wonderful for him. I have papers to grade. Ask Sam." She pulled away from him.

Ha caught her hand and kissed it noticing for the first time she wasn't wearing his ring. She'd gotten a tattoo instead. "First, why are you always making me go with Sam? Two, What happened to the ring I gave you?"

"Because I am not going to make myself a target for your enemies. It will only give you more to worry about. The last name is kind of well known and synonymous with lots of money. I don't want to be kidnapped for either reason. Two, I'm a surgeon so no rings. I got a tattoo so even when I can't wear it people will still know I'm yours." She held her hand out for closer inspection. Her finger read: Steve in her flowing script beneath it was patterned S.G.R. He smiled. 

 

He tried to enjoy the party without her. He played a couple rounds of pool with Sam before they excused themselves to have a quieter conversation. Honestly, it was more for Sam's sake. Since returning from the war Wilson needed occasional breaks from large gatherings.

"Have you found a place in Brooklyn yet?" Sam asked.

"I don't think I can afford a place in Brooklyn," Steve answered. He had priced apartments in Bay Ridge for the same reason Nahvalia had bought her place in Brooklyn Heights: in memory of Bucky. He couldn't afford the rent, let alone buy anything.

"Well, home is home,"Sam replied, hoping Steve would tell him more about the doctor he'd been spending so much time with.

Steve considered Sam's words. Brooklyn was still home. Sure, he loved the townhouse, but home was beginning to feel like the farm where she allowed nothing to interrupt their time. When she relaxed and laughed. Where they had snowball fights, sat in a hammock and read.

Nahvie graded her papers and checked Bucky's bank account. The last transaction had been three days ago for four hundred dollars. She sighed in relief knowing that he was safe and being cautious.

Thor had promised Steve a drink and Steve was in severe need of one. He was going to remind him of the promise. His thoughts had taken a dark and unpleasant turn. He found Thor swapping stories with veterans of World War II. Thor poured Steve a drink, it smelled potent, floral, and like honey. The assembled elderly gentlemen clamored for a sample. Thor attempted to dissuade them, an act Steve knew was pointless, to no avail.Following the drink, those who were still mobile were incoherent and had to be helped away.

"Did Nahvie drink this?" Steve asked.

"Of course,"Thor answered. "Her people taught ours the recipe."

Nahvie curled up on the couch. Her eyes burning from exhaustion. Twenty undergraduate papers lay graded and critiqued. Forty- three more waited. She'd made herself a Boilermaker, and had gone a little heavy on the whiskey. She was watching one of her favorite movies. Her eyelids began to drift close as she mouthed the words along with the movie: "what victims aren't we all?"

"As maybe the world's leading authority on waiting too long: don't." Steve smiled at Banner. He debated texting her, knowing he couldn't yet excuse himself from the party. But Sam had just left and he was in no mood for further teasing.

Nahvie woke to the sound of Shelly screaming. Once this scene had only made her sad, now it brought memories of a terrible dream. She dared not go to bed with such Horrible imagery. So she finished her drink, filled it again and watched the film to its conclusion.

 

 

He left for the townhouse. Ultron's attack had left him slightly rattled. If it could come at them from within the tower and had spread so far and so quickly, he needed to know she was okay. He parked the bike and studied the house. There were no signs of forced entry. He sighed in relief grateful not for the first time that night she had been at home. Not with him. He started questioning the wisdom of asking her to be his wife. She'd been completely correct when she'd said it would make her a target. He was about to leave when Thor landed beside him.

"You look like a man in need of a drink and a sounding board. The Lady within is equipped for both I assure you." Thor's hand landed heavily on Steve's shoulder. "Let's go inside and tell her what has happened."

He climbed the stairs and opened the door, unsurprised she hadn't engaged the alarm. He heard her crying, then the music. His head shaking, he and Thor went into the living room. She hurriedly wiped at her face while Thor stood awkwardly at Steve's side. She turned the movie off.

"Sister, I am both happy and vexed you did not accompany Steve to our revel. I am happy because you weren't there to be injured by the fracas. I am vexed because you subject him to the ridicule of others with your absence. Your magic would have been welcomed in keeping Loki's scepter from once again falling into enemy hands. " He rumbled at her.

"Wait. What happened? You were attacked?" She was off the couch and by Steve's side checking for injuries.

"Nahvie, I'm fine," Steve told her.

"Peace, Sister. Fetch the good stuff and we shall tell you all." Thor instructed.

"Fine." She huffed as she headed for the basement.

 

She tried not to let her imagination run away with her as she went on with her day. Steve and Thor were capable of handling the situation without her obsessing over them. She graded her papers. She washed her laundry. She allowed her disquiet to become absorbed by the minutiae of daily life.

"Fortunately, I am mighty,"Thor said before walking into the midst of debauchery. He knew he must have been mistaken but he swore he could feel both Loki and Nahvalia here.

A dance hall. The flash of a camera reminding him far too much of a flash grenade or similar weapon of war. Peggy. He held her close. They were dancing. She looked radiant. "The war's over. We can go home."

He stood alone. Was he right? Could he not live without a war? He had not seen Bucky or Nahvie. Were they safe? Were they alive? Were they looking for him or had they moved on without him?

No. Nahvie was at home or at work. Bucky was lost and alone. Peggy was safe and sound in her nursing home. No. This was something else. Something more. He was confronting the reality of Ultron's words. Was this the truth?

They gathered on the plane after collecting Bruce. Clint had put them in the air almost immediately. They couldn't be tracked in stealth mode. They broke off to isolate themselves. Each had been dealt a vision or a nightmare that was damned hard to shake. Only Clint had escaped Wanda's chicanery.

Nahvalia controlled her vexation. They had promised there would be no more secrets. No more lies. Ruefully, she thought of her own. Steve knew nothing of this Bucky. Neither did she. Bucky's mind had begged for time and she was determined he'd have it. She knew Steve had gone into danger, it was his job. Still, it hurt her heart he hadn't shared his departure with her.

 

He slept briefly as they flew to the safe house. He was at Nahvalia's stone cottage, but now it had swings and a tree house. Two boys and a girl, all with white- blond hair and laughing blue-grey eyes, ran from the back of the yard to the front. As they moved closer, Steve could see the beautiful marriage of his and Nahvalia's features in each of them. The front door opened and Nahvalia stepped out in a blue sundress, accentuating her lovely form and gorgeous eyes. She stared lovingly at the children.

Steve tried to call to them, without gratification. He watched helplessly as arms grabbed Nahvalia from behind. Steve's futile enraged screams did nothing to stop the arms from dragging her forcefully into the house or stop his children from being murdered in the yard.

He woke with a start moments before the plane touched down. Within ten minutes of arriving, Thor had left leaving Steve bereft of someone to talk to. He hesitated at the entryway to the Barton home. Clint had to hide his wife and children so covertly the team had not known they existed. How could he accomplish such a feat married to the Princess Royal of a planet? Lacking answers he sought a means to keep himself occupied.

 

"Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people get hurt. Every time." In his head, Steve saw his family. The one he had and the one he hoped for. He saw the Maximoff twins manipulated into their circumstance by half-truths and outright lies. He was infuriated by Tony's attempt as moral superiority and by Ultron's haunting observation. Steve wanted for himself what Clint had here. He was simply unable to sell himself the glorious fantasy Tony had. Ultron was Tony's mistake. How could Tony know all of what they had done, all of the cruelty and injustice in the world and pretend it could all be something they could walk away from?

Nahvalia finished grading yet more papers in the hospital break room."You know you aren't on the schedule. You haven't been for the last two days." Claire pointed out.

Nahvie smiled sheepishly," I know, but the house gets lonely when it's just me sometimes."

Claire's eyes widened in surprise, "Honey, if you don't have a man, I'll be happy to hook you up. If you can't get one, there's no hope for the rest of us." Nahvie just smiled.

Thor emerged from the pool with a clarity of action. First, Selvig needed to be seen safely back. Then he had to go see Nahvalia. He had glimpsed her role in coming events and it made his heart heavy with sorrow. Lastly, he needed to ensure the team were alright and hadn't made things worse.

 

Nahvalia had been called to the break room. Claire could not believe her eyes. Nahvie read the banner at the bottom of the screen: Seoul, Korea. He was on a truck in Seoul fighting Ultron. Her face must have betrayed some of what she was thinking because Claire asked if she was alright. "Oh sure. Just ducky." Nahvalia replied.

 

"I'm going to say this once." Steve started with Tony. He tried appealing to Bruce with common sense. In a strange twist of fate Banner was not inclined to listen. Bruce looked at Wanda as the reason he would be on the receiving end of a visit from General Ross. Bruce had kept this truth from the team and was not going to take this opportunity to be forthcoming.

Steve looked at the twins as people who had been badly used. No one deserved to be treated as they had. He refused to hold them responsible for what was clearly the fault of Stark and HYDRA.

The itching between her shoulder blades was driving her insane! One of them had to be here in New York. It had only been this bad once before. Her suspicion was confirmed when Thor landed in her backyard telling her of his vision. She listened, a feeling of foreboding growing in the pit of her stomach. Then he asked for permission which she reluctantly gave with a caveat. He hurried from her to the tower, hoping he'd get there before Rogers and Stark killed each other.

Steve looked at the man who his fiancee considered as dear as a brother with violence in his eyes. He contemplated telling her that they'd had a fight. He concluded it wasn't worth it and contented himself with giving the man a dirty look, as the being floated before the large window.

Thor carefully edited what he had seen of the Infinity stones. He looked at Steve trying to convey his need for Steve to talk with Nahvalia. He wasn't sure if he's understood or not.

"I got no plans tomorrow night." Steve realized how that sounded to Thor and Nat who knew. It hit him how it sounded to himself. Maybe Ultron was right. And if he was then it was just as Thor had said. Nahvalia deserved someone worthy. That darkness did not lurk within her.

He looked at his phone. He considered calling her and thought better of it. He had to know if he was the war monger-er they were accusing him of being. He had to know if he was a monster or not before he let her know he was safe.

 

 

Steve watched the ground slip away. I should have called. I should have texted. I should have married her. I should have told her goodbye. He berated himself. He stilled those voices in his head. no, he would make it off of this damned rock. He would make it home to her. "You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed, walk it off." 

 

"Family. Stability. I think the guy that wanted all that went into the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out." Steve told Tony in a rare moment of sharing. Oh well, Tony's retiring after a fashion, Steve thought.

"You gonna be alright?" Tony asked.

"I'm home," Steve answered.

Saturday morning found Nahvalia being shaken awake. "Baby Girl, wake up."Steve smiled softly at her.

Her eyes fluttered open as she focused on his face. His smile faded and he had to move quickly, his hands raised in defense. Holy crap! She was quick! Her eyes burn with violet fire. He'd only seen her this angry once and she had wanted blood. She and Thor both had warned him that Nahvalia had trained, he just hadn't put thought into the amount of time she must have done it or that she'd be good at it. He had also never expected to be defending against it.

"Baby Girl, I need you to hear me out."

"I needed to know you were safe. How does it feel to need and not receive, Rogers?" She hissed as she continued her advance.

"I had very good reasons for that."He responded quietly.

"I have five very good reasons not to listen."

He dropped his stance. "I thought I was a monster." She stopped her advance immediately. "Can we talk now?"

She snapped into motion almost faster than he could track. She hung from him in tears. He wrapped his arms around her and began to explain.


	24. Indocile

The days following the team's return were not pleasant for anyone. Nahvie had listened to Steve's argument about what he feared was a dark nature. She had not confessed her own darker side knowing it would only cause him to ask more questions. Questions she was no longer sure she had answers to. He had kissed her when he left, concerned about her trembling.

"Nahvie, I can't help you if I don't know what is wrong. Are you angry with me?"

She shook her head no as she hugged herself. "This isn't about you, Babe. This is me and my world. I am afraid the end approaches." She couldn't stop the tears. Steve had tried to hold her, comfort her. She denied him even that. The muscles along his jaw worked hard as he watched her suffer.

"Fine. You figure out when you want to talk and I'll be there to listen. I'm only a phone call away. I'll give this one time. Don't making this a habit, Nahvalia Talis Ja'Darehn. You shut me out like this and it hurts. We don't have him to dig it out of you."

He started to leave when a delicate hand on his wrist stopped him. "Don't. Not like this. Sit. I just need a minute." A frown fixed itself on his face as he sat in the chair. She sat on the floor in front of him hugging her knees. He often forgot how small she was, in moments like these though she looked fragile. He hated seeing her hurt like this, powerless to stop it.

" I love you. There are parts of my life that I can't tell you about because I don't know how. I am not shutting you out, I'm trying to find a way to talk with you about it. I can't explain my job any better than I already have because no one has ever done it. I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know how much if any of me will be left when it's over." She swallowed hard and then continued. "I don't know why but I feel like a huge thing is looming in my future and that is why I'm shaking. There isn't anything you can do about it and I know it hurts you, so I am not going to ask you to stay."

"Nahvie, I-.."

"No. This isn't how you and I work. You and I are romance and flowers. You don't get the other side. You can't. I won't let you look at me in disgust or hatred. We need to find Bucky. We need him healthy and we need him home."

Steve placed a gentle hand over her mouth. "I heard you out now you hear me. I love you. I'm not afraid of you. There is no part of you that I could not love. Yes, we are romance and flowers. We are also warriors, Nahvalia. Don't forget that again. I will never look at you with anything less than love. That is the way it is, Baby Girl. Now, I'm going back to the compound. You have some tea and take some time to think. Think, Nahvalia. Not work. I'll be waiting." He cupped her chin in his hand, kissed her and left.

Nahvie collapsed into heart-wrenching sobs. She cried herself to sleep on her living room floor. When she woke it was with a quiet determination that her life was her own and someone was in for one hell of a fight to take it from her. Then she turned on the television.

"We see here in the footage that Tony Stark's Iron Man is clearly trying to save the citizens."

"We can also see that there is no assistance from NATO or the UN to aid in rescuing the population. We see a helicarrier, obviously from SHIELD, and no other support. Did they even bother to let the EU know there was a world-negating threat? No. This cannot be allowed to continue." She was glaring at the reporters on the screen.

She read the ticker on the bottom of the screen. There had been rioting and looting because of the Sokovia disaster. There was been a protest in London to ban the Avengers from England. A fight had started in Boston over allowing the Avengers to stay in the US that had resulted in thirty-seven injured and twenty- three dead. She sat down hard as she looked on in horror.

Tony and Steve bore the brunt of the media smear campaign because everyone knew who they were. Fury had locked the compound down No one allowed in or out. Fury had also stopped accepting phone calls from reporters. Hill had contacted attorneys and the PR department at Stark Industries. This situation called for immediate decisive intervention.

The news speculated about the whereabouts of Thor and Dr. Banner. Clint quietly went into retirement. Natasha threw herself into recruit training and Sam tried to adjust to life as an Avenger. Tony was dealing with the notoriety as he always had with charisma, dash, and aplomb. Steve waited for Nahvalia when in his heart all he wanted to do was go home, eat some meatloaf and hold his fiancee. He was tired and demoralized. He had to be the one who read the statements SHIELD issued to the press.

They didn't want to deal with this now. They had just averted a global disaster, they needed to rebuild the team. They had to nurse their wounds and miss some teammates. Not listen to repeated warnings to stay off of social media and not comment to the press unless they were told otherwise by the PR rep. How did everything become so complicated so quickly? None of it mattered. They were all fodder for the politically motivated media machine.The team held their collective breaths knowing it could not go on forever.

Reporters camped outside of the compound, Stark Tower, and Tony's private residence. Pepper dealt with the harassment as well as she could. She declined to comment every time she left their home, but she was becoming increasingly concerned about the brazen behavior of people around the property. Jane had been so harassed, she had moved in with an old boyfriend and married him within the week.

Cap ended up becoming the bridge to peace. He stood uncomfortably before the seemingly endless camera crews explaining the mission being one to stop a terrorist and HYDRA, using Chitauri hardware, on unsuspecting citizens and a matter of world security. HYDRA had gone too far and began experimenting on humans. The Avenger Initiative had an on-going campaign to end human suffering and the intelligence leaked to the press had not been accurate. Yes, there had been casualties, it remained that it had been stopped before the situation had reached an extinction level event. He was quickly growing to despise that phrase as well as radio silence.

Nahvalia had not seen her fiancee in six weeks. She had mailed him a letter with a key inside. The letter contained only an address to an apartment in Bay Ridge. She had purchased the entire floor for him and decorated it as well. Her doctorate psychology paper was up for a Nobel prize in medicine. She attended her doctoral acceptance alone. The itching sensation still hadn't stopped and when she allowed her mind to wander at her desk she found herself mapping locations to the stones. She was no longer lying to herself about these happenings. She wanted as much normal as she could get before things went south.

To add to her increasing frustration she was visited by none other than Agent Sharon Carter n her office at the nursing home. Peggy's good days were becoming infrequent. Sharon was being transferred to Belgium, she wanted Peggy closer to her family so that when the time came...She left the sentence hanging in the air.

For years Nahvalia had tried to find a way to help Peggy, just as she had Constance so long ago. She was left with the same options heal her to perfection or let nature take its course. This issue with this circumstance was Steve. Nahvie refused to let Peggy go because Steve loved her, simple as that. If Steve had asked her to heal Peggy to perfection, Nahvalia would have done so without a moment's hesitation. Consequences be damned. But Steve would never have asked that and her own heart told her Peggy wouldn't want it either.

She crossed her arms on the desk before her. "What facility would you like your aunt transferred to, Miss Carter?"

"That is Agent Carter, Dr. Stanton. I am aware you now work for SHIELD. I am attached to the CIA. We have a chain of command as well." Nahvalia ran her tongue over her teeth. She had rarely enjoyed female company for this reason. She wasn't in competition over anything with Sharon. Sharon had no reason to be catty with her.

She sighed, "Agent Carter, where would you like Director Carter transferred?" She entered the name of the facility into her system. It was very well rated and staff seemed capable. She drew up the paperwork. "Let's go tell Peggy, shall we?"

Nahvalia was not looking forward to saying goodbye to her patient. They made the announcement and Peggy did not seem as happy as Sharon had hoped. Nahvalia did all she could to ease the elder Carter's mind about the trip. They said their goodbyes and Nahvie left to give them time to talk. She found Dr. Landon and gave her the news.

"Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time. I am going to miss her."

"As will I," Nahvalia answered smiling sadly.

"You will be staying on, I hope." Dr. Landon asked hopefully.

"We shall see. In the meantime, you can expect to see me. Today, however, I am going home." Dr. Landon nodded in understanding as Nahvie left to tidy her office and leave for the day.

Nahvalia had been training, honing her gifts since she arrived without giving much thought to what she was doing. The glamours, blocking her thoughts, inadvertently changing the perceptions of other had strengthened her capabilities. She had no idea how strong she had gotten until it was tested.

She had gone to the farm. She wanted peace and quiet. She needed to think her way through saying goodbye to someone she counted as a friend. She missed Steve so badly it was an almost physical pain and the tingle in her spine grew worse the closer to the farm she got. She knew that the compound was near and they were still on lockdown. She parked her car and went inside.

The house looked lonely without him in it. She changed into a dress and tried to read. It wasn't that the book was badly written that caused her attention to stray. It was the mounting frustration of being here alone. It had been fine before she'd brought him here, now it practically screamed with emptiness without him. Growling, she stood from the couch grabbed her keys and drove to the compound.

She had barely parked the car when she felt the probe in her mind. She immediately locked down her thoughts and focused on the source. The mind stone. She locked its power down before another attempted to stop her. She locked that one down to without breaking stride. Nahvalia asked an agent for the location of Captain Rogers, after receiving directions she headed that way. The training bay for Avengers was near the helicarrier hanger. She was in no hurry to get there and was only mildly curious to discover that both the mind's she held captive and the location of Rogers was one and the same. She entered the vast room to the bewildered expressions of Sam, Steve, Rhodes, and Natasha. They were staring at a being in a cape and a girl, her eyes rolling wildly in fear, neither of whom could move or speak.

"Who the fuck are they?" Nahvalia asked, her voice cold and quiet. Instantly, every eye was on her still, violet-eyed, form.

"What is going on?" Steve asked in confusion.

"My mind is not a place you go. Do you understand?"Her eyes bored into each immobile set.

"Nahvalia, what is going on?" Steve asked cautiously moving closer. "Is...are you doing that to them?" His voice sounded awed and shocked.

"I came here to see you. Without reason or warning that one," She pointed at the girl," Attempted to read my mind. That one attempted to halt my self-defense.

Steve took in the body language of the elf. Her heartbeat had dropped, her breathing was slowed. Nahvalia wanted blood. Her eyes were such a dark purple they could have been black. Steve had to get her attention before something awful happened. He looked From Wanda to Vision and back to Nahvalia,"Let them go. I want an explanation." He made it an order. She broke eye contact with Wanda to look at him. He met the cold, imperious stare of the elf princess with a steely, cold one of his own. She still had yet to release them. "Now, Major. These are trainees."

Vision offered Wanda a hand then turned to Steve. "I must apologize for my part in this unfortunate incident. I felt her enter the compound. I did not ascertain Miss Maximoff's intentions until it was too late. I was unsure of the Light's purpose with Wanda when she incapacitated her, so I attempted to defend Wanda."

Steve's eyes moved to Wanda, "Why?" He asked, his tone only fractionally warmer.

"I have not encountered this one before. I read everyone I meet. She did not seem powerful or gifted. I did not think she'd know. Then her mind became locked and I could not move." Wanda turned to Nahvalia, "Can you enter my thoughts?"

Nahvalia did not answer. She had entered the girl's mind and was viewing each memory. She pulled forward the memory of Wanda's manipulation of Tony. The elf's voice resounding in the girl's mind. "Every action bears consequence." She pulled her parents' faces to the forefront as the girl had forgotten what they looked like. Nahvie heard Wanda's sharp intake of breath and felt Vision's mind move to stop hers once again. She stopped him again. Vision marveled at the ease with which she'd done it. Her voice spoke in his mind, "Do not move against me again. You know of me. Do not force me to move against you."

Nahvalia knew all of the origins of Vision, thanks to Thor and, in part, to her relationship with the stones. She released him and left Wanda's mind. Vision eyed her with consternation. "He's right, you may keep it. Understand it is a massive responsibility and there will be powerful beings that will try and take it from you. If you dare misuse it, I will be forced to take it from you."

"Utterly, Mother." Vision responded fervently.

"Who are you?" Wanda asked reverentially.

"That's complicated," Nahvalia answered. "I need to go. I'll be back tomorrow. We'll begin your training. The three of us." She nodded at them and turned to Steve. He was relieved to see her familiar, beloved gray had returned. She said nothing as she passed him to leave.

He and Sam watched her go. "Is that some weird elf stuff?" Wilson asked. Steve had filled him in while they'd been on lock down.

"Not sure yet, but probably."

"Well, Cap, go get your girl. It's never good when they leave like that." Steve hurried after her.

"Baby Girl," Steve called right before he caught her arm. "We need to talk."

"Nope. We needed to talk weeks ago. You didn't say anything to me about them. Now I know and we are still okay. So, I guess the only thing left to say is that Peggy is being transferred to England tomorrow at her family's request. That's why I came. Oh, and to tell you I missed you. I miss you. Good talk. Bye." She turned to leave. He didn't let her. He used her arm to spin her around to him and met her angry lips with his.

"You came here to tell me about Peggy?" He asked, a weird little boy smile on his face.

"Yeah." She told him.

"And that you miss me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes. And to ask if you got the key."

"Yeah. What is that ?" He asked truly curious.

"That is your apartment. You should go check it out when you're allowed to leave."

"Speaking of which, how did you get in here?" He asked puzzled.

"What are you talking about? The guard at the gate hasn't seen a thing."

"Nahvalia.." he trailed off with a sigh.

"My Love," she was reticent calling him that. He heard the hesitancy. She shook her head. Her hand touched his chest over his heart. "I'll see you tomorrow. Go. Look at your apartment."

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked knowing why she was leaving this way.

She nodded. Her mouth a thin tired line of a lie. Her eyes were green. They both knew it. "I will be okay."Her lips softened into a smile. He watched the green fade to blue. "It's only my heart that breaks in the wait. But I would wait forever for you." She opened the door to her car without breaking eye contact. He knew he wouldn't forget the way she looked in that moment, knew he would spend the rest of his life capturing her face then.

Her eyes were so large, filled with each hurt. Her hair blew in tendrils of white. But it was when she looked away. He saw her looking out for each of them. The warrior queen. she settled behind the wheel and pulled away. She waved goodbye. that was the moment he should have known trouble was coming. Instead, he'd taken it as a token of her affection.

Both were right.


	25. Recalculating

July 2015

Steve walked into his townhouse. The neighborhood had changed, the original building had been torn down, but his memory had not. He was, in essence, standing in the apartment he and his mother had shared. It was now a spacious kitchen. Bucky's apartment was an open space she'd allocated for his art. 

He walked through each spacious room of his home. He knew where apartments had been and saw what she had transformed them into. There were few walls, most of those disguised by bookcases. He smiled at the sheer amount of blank sketchbooks she'd placed. He touched framed pictures of himself and his mom. Others of him and Bucky. He'd walked through every room in the place and had not found one picture of Nahvalia. Typical, he thought.

He couldn't actually recall seeing a photo of her. All of the films he'd seen of her on the front before he'd left had never resurfaced. He had a gnawing sensation that it never would. He took a dogeared sketchbook from the shelf. Steve flipped through pages filled with nothing but her and Bucky. He smiled as he shook his head. Poor little Nahvie, she'd had no idea how much he loved them both. His eyes on a picture he'd drawn. Maybe she still didn't. He found that a very sobering thought.

Rockefeller Center December 1934

Bucky was missing her. In truth, they both did. He had asked Steve to make the call. It took a little encouragement. She had answered, his eyes had closed at the sound of her voice. Ash sounded tired which worked to their benefit. She would come skating. The car had come to get them. It dropped them at the door. Aunt Ida had asked them in, gently begging them to be quiet. Ash was sleeping for the first time in days. Apparently, without sleep, she was a monster.

Bucky and Steve both knew Ashton to be a person who could sleep anywhere. They were not prepared to hear she hadn't slept for days. They walked back out from the kitchen to look at her. She had folded in on herself with a frown.

"Alright. I'll go in and get her. You make sure the car is ready, yeah?"

The plan worked like this, Ash could be known to be violent upon waking. She was smaller than Steve but not by enough for Bucky to take the chance. He would wake her, sneak a kiss if he could and then they were going skating. That had been the plan. 

Steve stood outside for a full five minutes knowing Ash had killed Bucky. He steeled himself to view the scene of Bucky's murder only to find Bucky lying on a divan wrapped in tiny arms.

"What are you doing?" Steve questioned in a loud whisper.

"She did this." Bucky gestured at the arms.

"As if she could really keep you there," Steve responded in disbelief.

"Could you please come help me? She has a decent grip." Bucky said, truly needing help. Steve tugged, surprised Bucky had not been teasing. They had both stilled as her frown grew. They started brainstorming, but...what was the point? Steve grabbed her arm and shook her to waking. She blinked at both of them unsure why they were there or where she was. She frowned at the back of Bucky's head before sitting up sharply knocking him to the floor. 

"What are you doing?" She asked pointedly as Buck picked himself off of the floor.

"I was resolving the hostage situation," Steve answered with a smile. She frowned in question so he continued. "Bucky was trying to carry you out to the car and you decided he needed a nap with you." She shot Bucky a very skeptical look.

"Come on. We are going skating. Steve can't skate and I don't want to go alone. We are going." Bucky offered her a hand. 

"I don't..."She started only to end up squealing from Bucky's shoulder. 

"We got her Aunt Ida. See ya later!" He turned to Steve and nodded toward the door. "Let's go. Grab her hat and gloves, would ya?"

Steve had taken a sketchbook to keep him entertained while they skated beneath the massive Christmas tree. He watched them gliding gracefully side by side, faces alight with wide smiles. Ash's nose wrinkling with her laughter. She was skating backward and Bucky had a hold on her hands. He had tried to make her fall earlier and Steve wondered if he was at it again. No, instead he had pulled her to him and she was trying to get away. Bucky wanted to try ice dancing and Ash was having none of it. Steve watched her escape and skate to the vendor. 

She purchased each of them a cocoa. She carried them over to the railing handing one to Steve. Bucky joined them and took one for himself. Steve blew at the steam coming from his, happy just looking at the two of them. Ash's hair had begun to escape the neat bun at the back of her head, long silver-white strands blew around her face. She was smiling up at Bucky, eyes warm with affection. The same was reflected down to her from Bucky. Steve took the mental picture and proceeded to recreate it on paper when they had skated off. He hadn't shown it to either of them.

July 2015

He texted Nahvie, "It's too much."

"It's a little bigger than a ring, but it's yours."

"Did you do all of this yourself?"

"Uh...yeah. I had to. Didn't feel right giving Captain America's address to random people."

"Have I told you lately how wonderfully stubborn you are?"

"Nope! How about you don't."

"I love you."

"Turn around and say it like you mean it." He frowned at his phone and turned. She was sliding her phone into her back pocket when he did just that.

"It really is too much." He told her after they had stopped kissing.

She touched a finger to his mouth. "Hush. I get to say what's too much and this isn't it. You are going to need this when you bring him home."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "When we bring him home he may not want to be with me. He may need you. He will need you."

"Nonsense. He will want you and I'll be nearby. You have always and will always be first in his heart, Steve." He read her honesty in her eyes.

He held her close and just held her. He was damned tired of missing her. The job and the missions were important, but how did it matter when no one got to live. His thoughts weren't just on Bucky. He had asked her to marry him and then went out of his way, it seemed, to give her every reason to take back her yes. 

She felt him tense," You have to stop doing that." She looked up at him, her pointy chin jabbing him in the sternum.

"Doing what?" He looked down at her.

"Your growing need to overthink something that is really not important. Your job, you duty isn't going to change the way I feel about you. It isn't going to send me screaming for cover. I don't need protecting. I have that under control. What I do need is for you to calm down and enjoy your life for maybe an hour. Cause I want to spend time with you, not the Steve shaped worry wort bent on saving the world single-handedly."

He scoffed at her, "I don't do that." She gave him a look. "I have the team. And you. I'm not doing this alone." She had not altered her expression. "What?" He asked as she pulled away, shaking her head. "What?" He settled the book on the top of a table and followed her retreating form.

 

October 2015

Nahvalia sat in front of her computer staring at the email on the screen. Fury had sent her a warning of sorts. The body of the letter was composed of the growing global concerns regarding the enhanced citizens of the world. To Nahvie, it looked like something worse. The nation's of the world had just become aware of what they had: potential soldiers. Human weapons of mass destruction.

The email contained a link to an early proposal. One could read the five hundred plus page document online or mail a money order for ten dollars to receive the printed format. She scrolled through the comments. By the time she had reached the end Nahvie was angry. She was on the phone calling for meetings with her attorneys in both London and New York.

The proposal had been part of the year's previous ballot. Most of the voting populace hadn't heard of it let alone read it. Most of those shelling out ten dollars for the printed version were those the laws would affect the most. Enhanced, who wished to remain anonymous. People like Nahvalia.

What she had hoped would become a comfortable routine was interrupted to host parties with various government officials. She wanted to sway them to the idea that the proposal was a violation of Constitutional rights. The good doctor was now beginning to wish she'd gotten a law degree instead. Her temperament had begun to suffer.

Steve had seen her driven with purpose before. It was a quality that he both found admirable and endearing. Now she was always working. Her smiles were non-existent, she had to be cajoled to leave the compound and spoke only about injustice. Steve didn't fully understand what had her so distressed as she wouldn't talk to him about it. She was convinced she was protecting him from it. He caught that she was upset about the restriction of freedom, thought maybe that was why she was so upset. Then she took him to a school.

It was a private institution much like the one they had attended in Manhattan. The children were all dressed in uniforms and played outside . Without preamble, Nahvalia began talking. It was the most she'd said to anyone in days. It warmed Steve's heart and reassured him that her words were to him, even as her words chilled him with implication.

"At least one child on that playground is enhanced, whether they know it yet or not. Some of them pretend to be superheroes. There a couple that wishes they could grow up and be you. Some of them want to be firemen, police officers, lawyers or doctors. Not one child before you wants to be a weapon. Not one child wants to be ostracized. But that is what the world will do with them. That's what this proposal is about."

"This is about Stark privatizing world security?" He asked her.

"After we are married we stand a high likelihood of becoming parents very quickly. Because it'll be your child the government, SHIELD, other countries will be very interested to see what that child is capable of. They will test our baby like no child before. That is why I cannot allow this proposal to pass." 

"You think they would do that to our children?" Internally Steve tried to deny it to himself. He realized sadly he couldn't.

"I've run countless scenarios, Babe. I am unable to find one where they don't. It isn't just us either. It will happen to every enhanced person that comes forward. I'm more concerned with the those who don't want to register. I know of at least two New Yorkers with abilities that would rather be left alone. Should those people be arrested for being born with abilities because they wanted normal lives?

Let's not forget that there are criminals out there with abilities too. They won't suddenly have a change of heart and decide to come forward and do the right thing because a law was passed. They won't step up and announce themselves." She sighed, her hanging, eyes closed. She wasn't sure this was a fight she was going to win. That would not stop her efforts, though.

Steve looked at her. He put an arm around her pulling her close. "I understand why you've been fighting so hard now." She sighed sadly and rested her cheek and a hand on his chest. He smiled into her sun-warmed hair. "So kids, huh?"

She giggled shyly against him, "I said, kid. You said plural." She looked up at him, "With the serum you were treated with no one is sure, but one has to expect that it improved everything."

"Been thinking about that a lot have you?" He asked, watching her flush further in embarrassment.

"Nope. I always thought you were perfect just the way you were."

"And now?" He could have laughed at how anxious her answer was making him.

"Now? You're just taller." She grinned up at him.


	26. Overtures

July 2015  
Nahvalia sat in her office responding to an email to all outside appearances. The actual facts of the matter were quite a bit more involved. She was monitoring the activities of each of the Avengers and guarding the presence of a mail clerk from Wanda and Viz. They were supposed to keep track of each of the Avengers actions while trying to locate the mail clerk Nahvalia was hiding. All of that while learning hand to hand combat. Nahvalia felt training the body was equally important as the mind.

She was putting the final touches on a speech she was giving to the UN. She understood the difficulty she would have getting them to listen to her argument but she had to try. "Come in Nat." She said as the assassin turned Avenger raised her hand to knock on the door. Nahvalia had not spoken aloud.

"Dear God. You're all doing it now." Natasha sighed in mock irritation as she sat. Nahvalia smiled. "About your meeting..." She stopped until the elf had made eye contact. Nahvie looked up. "I don't think you should go alone. Steve agrees." Nat smiled triumphantly.

Nahvie rolled her eyes and settled her hands on the desk. "Is that the new go to for everything now? Run quickly to the team captain to override every decision I make?"

"That's his job. He gives the orders." Her smile was smug.

"I have Fury's approval on this to go alone." Nahvie countered.

"You'll be in danger. I was told by the team captain to try to talk some sense into you before he comes down here and takes the matter to Fury."

"Let's save some time and frustration for the good Captain, shall we?" Nahvalia stood and walked to the door. She waved at Wanda and Viz. They had been chatting since their trainer had been tasked with another detail.

"Is there something I can do to ease your mind, Mother?"

"Viz, we've talked about this. I am more like your aunt. I can handle this. Continue with your exercises."

"As you wish."

"I think you should not protest this too much, his likening you as a mother figure. Maybe he needs the comfort of that in his life." Wanda suggested. Nahvie could hear the amusement in her voice.

"Don't make it weird, Wanda."

Nat and Nahvie walked into Fury's office. They waited patiently for the Director's attention. "What's the matter? Are mommy and daddy fighting again?" He asked. Nat sniggered and Nahvie gave him a look of exasperated warning.

"That joke has worn thin, Director. It's past time to find some fresh material." Nahvie said in a bored tone.

"Okay, but tell me that this isn't exactly what you are here for. Rogers wants you to take backup and you have determined you don't need it. Am I right?" Nahvalia rolled her eyes, her hands rising only to fall back to her sides in frustration. Fury's face lit up with wicked glee. "So Mommy and Daddy are fighting."

"And Mommy ran to Grandpa to fix it." Nat piped up. Nahvalia and Fury both turned astonished faces in her direction. "What? It was the natural progression of the joke."

Fury narrowed his eye at Nat and turned back to Nahvalia. "Do you think yo can do this without backup?"   
"Nick, it's the United Nations. No one is going to attack and if they did I would feel the intention and be able to stop them. Give me a modicum of respect."

"Alright. Mommy goes in alone. Tell Dad to stand down." Fury told Natasha, who deflated a bit at the news. she had been assigned the task and had been looking forward to seeing Nahvie fight with Secretary Ross.

Fury waited until he was sure she'd gone. "Why don't you want backup? You're basically on retainer for your medical skills regardless of titles and the training you are doing with Vision and Maximoff. Romanov and Rogers are right. A backup would be a good idea."

Nahvie sucked at her teeth before she answered. "The team knows nothing of the situation between Ross and Banner. I don't want a tribunal to be the way the team finds out."

Fury narrowed his eye at her. "how do you know about that, Doctor?" She gave him a look in an answer. Fury's eye widened in surprise. "Didn't know the two of you were that well acquainted."

"Well, he did toss my ex-boyfriend around the tower. I had to give him my gratitude." She raised an eyebrow in acknowledgment.

"You will be flown there and straight back. Cap would kill me if something happened to you." Fury teased. She snorted and took her leave.

 

She went down to check on her trainees. They had been able to accurately report all of the Avengers movements with the brief exception of Natasha and, of course, Nahvie all day. They had not been able to pinpoint the mail clerk though not for lack of trying.

"We searched for blank spaces. Others seeing someone we could not. We scanned full areas for a general confusion. How did you do it?" Wanda asked.

"It's a combination of all of those things. First, you make someone bland, not invisible. Then you blur them in the minds of those they pass. Essentially you make a person a mobile house plant."

"We need to know this for infiltration. We can move large groups in or out by knowing how to blur people." Wanda answered.

"It also makes impersonation easier to complete successfully," Viz answered.

"Most importantly it is a subtle work in the mind. Your powers will manifest themselves in a million tiny ways that are easily as powerful as a large explosion. Less collateral damage.."

Wanda opened her mouth to ask a question and snapped it shut. Nahvie smiled, she knew those angry footsteps. "Go ahead, Wanda. Your training is my first priority. Besides, my report would not be complete for the day if I left your questions unanswered."

Wanda smiled, "So the more subtle we can get the larger we can go?"

"Think of it like this, you know how easy it is to move something, yes?" They nodded. "Moving yourself requires you to keep track of and negotiate your mass. When you learn how to manipulate the smaller elemental stuff, moving a mountain becomes minuscule." She turned to face her fiancee. "Hi. May we take this conversation to my sound proof office?" She questioned a very angry Captain Rogers. 

"After you Major Stanton."He said shortly. She wisely held her tongue until they were alone.

Their conversation at the school yard had several unexpected ramifications for Steve. It increased his sense of paranoia. Between HYDRA's constant presence and what they'd done to Bucky, Steve couldn't rest until every last one had been destroyed. He'd also become preoccupied with the idea of his upcoming nuptials.

Previously, he'd allowed Nahvalia to set the pace, figuring she'd get around to it eventually. Now, though he could understand her reticence, he'd begun to notice the amount of male attention Major Stanton received from the agents. Only the team was aware they had a relationship for professional reasons. He could see and comprehend her need for the time to be right. It didn't stop the feeling he could only claim to be jealous. He knew that world peace was a distant dream at best. Conditions might never be perfect. And they had waited long enough.

He watched her close the blinds. "You went to Fury despite my order."  
He made it a statement, not a question.

She wet her lips."I did what I thought was best, Captain Rogers. I can protect myself from a room full of bureaucrats. They need the time in the field with you. Not watching verbal debates with me."

He advanced on her. In three angry strides, he was very much uncomfortably in her personal space. "You are a team member just like everyone outside that door. You need to learn to act like one and do the missions assigned to you as you are ordered to do them, Major Stanton. Your personal agenda needs to be handled on your own time." 

She backed away from him, needing distance from the indignant man in front of her. "You are well aware, Captain, that this meeting concerns your team. It is hardly a personal agenda."

"I. Do. Not. Recall. Giving. You. An. Order. To. Do. This." He punctuated each word with a step toward her until her back was to the wall and his arms blocked her escape. She looked at his hands at both of her shoulders. He watched her calculate the possibility of escape and come back to none. He saw her weighing her odds in a fight and get zero unless she was willing to fight dirty. Her tongue licked her lips in nervousness. Good, he thought, maybe he could intimidate her into taking backup.

"Who do you want me to take?" She asked quietly.

"Romanov." He told her evenly.

"If I can beat her in a fair fight will you let me go alone?" She asked in a rush of words.

"Damn it, Nahvalia." He thumped the wall beside her before grabbing her upper arms. He resisted the urge to shake her. "The point of a backup is two pairs of eyes. It isn't a punishment. I want you safe. I want you to come home to me. I want you to make it to our wedding. I want you to make it to the damn date I set up for us." He looked down into those large gray eyes and couldn't resist anymore. His mouth was rough on hers. His teeth harsh on tender beautiful lips and he didn't care. She needed to know how much he needed her and all of his gentleness and tenderness had failed. He kissed her until she kissed him back with the same desperation. He kissed her until she was short of breath.

"You are to be at your farmhouse by 2030 the night of your meeting. You will report to the porch by 2100. Do you understand your orders?" She mutely nodded her assent. "I will see you then. Good night." She blinked at her closed door in disbelief. She really hadn't thought he had THAT in him. She sat at her computer. It was several moments before her mind was back on her speech and not his mouth.

 

Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross was not amused by the tribunal request of Major Stanton. Or her subsequent choice of attorney. He also found no humor in her demand for a press conference to follow, but she could make his life complicated very quickly.

"State your name for the record." One of the officers of the court requested.

"Nahvalia Talis Ja'Darehn- Stanton." She answered.

"And your title, please?"

"Major in the United States Army. Princess Royal of Alfheim. Keeper of the Sacred Peace. Light of the Nine Realms."

"Thank you, ma'am. Please be seated." The officer walked away in awe of the elf.Sure, he had seen he on television. She was the world's most eligible bachelorette. He'd just thought it was makeup and photoshop. He could now assure everyone he knew not only was she prettier in person, she smelled sinfully good.

"So you are, in fact, an alien?" Ross began.

"If you want to be crass about it, yes," Nahvalia answered evenly.

"Why are you here ?"

"I believe our government is about to make a grievous mistake and as a citizen, I feel it is my duty to advise against it." She answered in the same tone.

"But you just informed us you are an alien." Ross charged again. 

"I came as a political refugee. Given the length of time I've been a resident of the United States forgive me if I feel the need to contribute." She didn't disguise her patronizing tone.

"So what is it you feel so compelled to advise us against ?"

"The proposal requiring the registration of enhanced people, Secretary Ross." 

"Why would anything you have to say be of merit on this subject?"

"As stated earlier I am a Major in this nation's military. I am a member of my people's reigning family. As such I would advise caution alienating so much of a country's population with such divisive legislation. I also wonder if the lack of open communication about the proposal was the idea of the whole or simply one. In particular you, Secretary. It is known that you have a personal grievance with Dr. Bruce Banner. Knowing your personal involvement with his case and a prejudice against enhanced people leads me to question the wisdom of appointing you to oversee this project."

"I assume you believe yourself better suited?" He asked disdainfully.

"I am not offering to lead the program. I am far too expensive and would recommend hiring someone better qualified. I lack the diplomacy and eloquence to address such matters correctly.

I merely wanted this tribunal to be aware that a substantial amount of the citizens to be affected by this proposed legislation aren't even cognizant this is happening. If I have read these documents correctly, and my lawyer assures me I have, you would have all enhanced people registered or in jail. Am I correct ?"

"You still haven't answered my question to my satisfaction, Miss Stanton." Ross continued.

"Secretary Ross, given your lack of an ASL interpreter and that we have discoursed so far without miscommunication I am certain you are not deaf. I am either Princess Royal Ja'Darehn or Major Stanton. Your clear use of 'Miss' shows nothing more than your dismissiveness and disrespect on this issue. Indicative of a decided lack of objectivity in this matter." She turned from the enraged face of Ross to address the tribunal directly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I came here today as nothing more than a concerned citizen. I have tried to share my stance on this matter with you so that a conversation of a middle ground could be reached. As you can clearly see, that is not what happened. I will continue to lobby against the proposal as it stands now.

It is my continued hope that by finding common ground all people can co-exist. I will remain and shall encourage like-minded individuals to welcome questions and dialog to enable said peace. Have a wonderful day. I thank you for your time." she nodded and took her leave.

"Is it going to be like this every time?" Her lawyer asked as he took her offered arm.

"No, Matty. It's probably going to get much worse." They caught their flight back to New York. It took half an hour. She made sure Matty was driven back to his apartment while she caught up on some paperwork. An alert on her phone told her she needed to be driving home. It was now 8:15, she'd be cutting it close. The tires threw gravel as she stomped the brakes and killed the ignition at 8:30. She was in and out of the shower by 8:40. By 8:53 she had just picked out her dress.

Steve had been leaning on the porch rail when she'd flashed by oblivious to his presence. He took his time opening the wine so it could breathe. He lit candles and waited to the right of the door, knowing she always looked to the left first. He was correct, she did.

He watched her unobserved. She was short of breath from running. Her eyes went wide at the candles and the romantic setting. Her hands rose to her mouth as she recognized her favorite meal. He had FRIDAY's assurances of no distractions tonight. He smiled at her back. Her hair was loose flowing freely around her. She wore his favorite cotton sundress and she had forgotten her shoes in her haste. He wished he could keep her like this always. He committed the image to memory. He'd draw her like this later.

"I've been thinking about what you said about government interference and future uncertainty." He spoke in a low soft voice. His hands taking her waist from behind. He smiled when she'd jumped a bit in surprise. He led her to the table, pulling her chair out and then seating himself. "I've decided we can't wait anymore. I need you to help me set a date." He said.

"A date?" The question in her voice and on her face.

"Yeah. For our wedding. See, I was thinking..." He started.

"November 11th." She said.

"What?"

"November 11th." She repeated.

"You mean you weren't going to delay or anything?"

"Nope. The invitations go out Friday. I would imagine you'll have yours by Tuesday." She smiled.

He stared at her a moment," You little minx!" He laughed.

"Oh, come on now. You haven't called me that in ages."

"What's left to do?" He asked.

"Nothing." She shrugged.

"Nothing? What am I wearing? Who's my best man? What about the rings? You did it all by yourself?"

"Yeah. You asked I delivered."

"You are amazing." He stared at her lovingly.

"Yes, I am. And you are going to look amazing in your turkey suit." She told him in adoring tones.

"What?" He asked sharply.

"I wanted a theme wedding." She made it five whole strides before he caught her. He tickled her for ten torturous minutes.

 

They held the engagement party at Nahvalia's farm. Everyone offered fond wished and deep congratulations. Sam told Nahvie he had known she had been much more than just Steve's doctor from the beginning. Natasha said she wouldn't have tried so hard to play matchmaker had she known Rogers would do so well on his own.

Tony showed up fashionably late with Pepper, telling Steve this was one of the greatest things Steve could have done. Steve smiled and asked Tony to be his best man.

"If it hadn't been for your father, I wouldn't be here for this moment. It would mean a lot to me if you would." Steve said sincerely.

"This isn't some twisted joke where you wait until I say yes and then tell me no you picked Wilson, is it?"

"No, Tony." Steve gave a small smile, "I'm being very real here. Be my best man. It would be my honor."

"O-okay, Cap. But just this once. You can never ask me to do it again."

Steve's eyes sought for and found Nahvalia showing the ladies her ring and regaling them with the story of how he had asked and subsequently the date to set the date. He watched her charm them, make them laugh and feel at ease. "No, Tony. I promise it's just going to be the one time."

Tony looked from Nahvie to Pepper. Pep made eye contact with him. She smiled shyly, a blush rising to color her cheeks, and looked back to the group of women.

"You know, between you and Barton, I just might become an honest man yet." He moved toward Pepper only to turn back midway. "Bachelor party! I get to plan it. Make sure future little Mrs. isn't the jealous type. I hear she has a temper." He spun back to continue toward his date.

"Tell me again why it had to be Stark and not say me?" Sam teased from his side.

"I owe Howard. So by extension I owe Tony. Besides, he's the one paying for the bachelor party." Steve grinned. "But to compensate you get to be the godfather."

Sam paused, "Do you mean she's..." He left the sentence unfinished unsure he wanted the accompanying visual.

"No. Of course not." Steve said quickly. "I'm just saying he gets this and you'll get that. Seems fair."

"As long as there is no diaper duty involved, I'm in." Sam laughed. He followed Steve's love smitten gaze. "So how long have you been sure she was the one?"

"Since 2012. But I've thought about it since 1931. I was always so sure it was gonna be Bucky." Steve said in an awed voice.

"What happens if we find him before November?" Sam asked.

"Depends on what we find," Steve said rushing back from cloud nine. "Depends on what we find." His mind now whirling with worst case scenarios.

 

Asgard

Thor was unprepared for what he found. Loki was seated on the throne and his father nowhere to be found. He would have throttled Loki then and there had Banner not been there to restrain him. That was a story all of its own.

"There is a greater threat than I looming on the horizon." Loki had reasoned with him.

"Oh, how well I know, Brother,would do much to stop them before the become a problem. I have had a vision" Thor answered with a growl.

"Will you help me?" It galled Loki to ask but he could see no other way.

"I believe I shall have to. I have learned of the Infinity stones and I would do much to stop them before the present a greater problem. I have had a vision. I would save Nahvalia from this fate I have seen."

"Oh?" Loki asked, attempting not to look too interested at the merest mention of his bride's name.

"Indeed." Thor's brow furrowed in memory. " I would see her happily wed instead."

"A point on which we agree." Loki smiled.

"To the Captain. Steven Rogers." Thor clarified.

Loki's smile grew icy. "We shall see, Brother. But first, we must find the stones."


	27. Lamentation

New York City April 2016

They watched her sleep with mounting concern. Loki haunted her dreams as closely as Steve tracked her night. Steve watched her toss, kick, and thrash so badly he wished to wake her. Steve wondered if she got any rest at all. He despaired at her lack of sleep. In her dreams, Loki watched as she stalked battlefields. She wasn't looking to save survivors. She looked for victims. Steve's heart broke for her when she woke screaming and in tears. Loki's heart rejoiced.

"Where were you this time?" He asked. Her screams had woke him. He had climbed in beside her pulling her to him. He hugged her to him as she tried to roll away and hide her face in shame.

"Charleston." She finally relinquished. She heeled the tears from her eyes. She knew a battle was coming. Hell, the battle was here. She turned on her other side, pressing her face into his warm, broad chest and caught her breath. She accepted the comfort he offered knowing she'd be missing it while they were apart. She had another liaison gig for Fury and he was taking the team to Lagos in the morning.

"Come on. Try to get some rest. I'll stay until you're asleep." He pulled the blankets over himself and snuggled down to get comfortable.

She smiled for the first time."You mean you're going to fall asleep with me."

"If you weren't so comfortable I wouldn't" He teased back.

"Did you just call me comfortable?" She asked, a frown on her face. She hadn't opened her eyes, neither had he. He could hear the frown in her voice.

"That's how it is, Baby Girl. Good night." He said through a yawn, smiling when he heard her growl. 

It was going to be Wanda's first official mission. Nahvalia had long argued the girl's readiness in the field, but this time, Steve had found no reason to delay. He and Nahvie stood in front Fury arguing over whether or not she'd be going. Fury was taking Steve's side. "If the Captain thinks she's ready, she's going. This is what you've been training her for. She's an Avenger."

Nahvie halted the words she had been ready to say. "Good luck on your mission, Captain." She had turned and left the room. Steve went to follow her but Fury put a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Eyes on the prize, Cap. Prep your team. She has a mission of her own."

"She isn't coming with us? It's Rumlow, Fury. We should have all hands on deck. We could use her help." Steve tried to explain.

"You said you didn't want her in the field. Every mission you've gone on she could have assisted with. She isn't in the field, she's going to continue in the liaison capacity as per your orders. Her identity is as protected as we can keep it. Besides, you have Maximoff. How much more firepower do you need?" As Fury spoke Steve watched his fiancee walk to her office, collect her bags and head for the elevator. He hated knowing they had been arguing before she left.

Lagos, Nigeria

He was regretting telling Fury he didn't want Nahvie in the field. He picked himself up from the ground and went in pursuit of Rumlow. Sam and Natasha were after the biological weapon. Rumlow found him first. While he and Brock fought Nat retrieved the weapon with a little help from Sam and Redwing. "He remembered you," Brock said taking Steve by surprise. Suddenly all thoughts of the mission flew from his mind. Was Bucky still with HYDRA? What had happened after he'd pulled him from the water? Questions he'd been going to demand answers to when the man triggered the incendiary device he'd strapped to himself. Steve watched in impotent horror as Wanda tossed him aside. Into an occupied building. Hands flew to her mouth as Steve quickly assessed the damage.

"Sam, we need fire and rescue on the south side of the building."

Wakanda, Africa

The news the following day told Nahvalia why she'd woken without a text or a call. She turned it off as quickly as she'd turned it on. She made her coffee, sitting hard on a stool in the apartment she had been given to stay in. Her thoughts with Wanda who was bearing the brunt of the media's attacks and attempts to place blame for the accident. She texted the girl quickly promising a phone call that night. She typed a message of encouragement and love to Steve. She wore a sad smile when she sent it. 

She poured her coffee and sat studying U.S. laws and Geneva Convention statutes that would help, at least, get the proposal amended. She grew sick to her stomach every time she thought of Ross' face. No, it would be better to stop this nonsense now before it had an opportunity to create long-term damage. 

Miles away from her, Steve watched the news Nahvie had just turned off. His concern with his team. And of course, Bucky.

Boston, Massachusetts

Tony breathed through the tightness in his throat as he concluded his B.A.R.F. presentation. "Go break some eggs." He didn't want to accept Pepper's demand for a break. He wasn't ready to let her go. It hurt to know she and Happy had gone on a date. He deserved a win, right? Tony tried to sneak from the building. He had lied in order to achieve his desired goal : the exit. He stood at the threshold of escape, it was just close enough to touch. That's when he met her. 

Someone he had not known existed but was terrified to meet. Charles Spencer's mother. When his nightmares found him that night they wore her face and used her words. "Who's going to avenge my son, Stark? He's dead and I blame you."

New York City

Nahvalia was surprised Steve was there to greet her when she stepped off the plane. He pulled her to him and crushed her lips with his own. She tasted of juice and vodka. Nahvalia hated to fly. "I am taking you home. We have a date tonight." He told her in a tone brooking no arguments.

She'd been ready for their date to be anything but this. She stood at the amusement park. "Steve, what are we doing here?"

"I'm giving you the date we should have had." He smiled tenderly down at her.

"What are you talking about? We go on dates all the time?"

"Not this one. You forgot?" He asked in astonishment. He watched her cheeks turn pink. "You did! Wow. This was my first date. I went on it with Bucky and you. It just didn't quite end how I wanted it to." Her eyes widened but she said nothing.

He remembered every ride they had gone on, every game they'd played. He remembered how much she'd hated the smells of the food so they stayed as far from them as they could. He took her through every fun house and water ride. Even the Tunnel of Love. He made sure she rode every carousel twice. They rode the Ferris wheel and she kissed him. They rode each of the roller coasters, saving the Cyclone for last.

After exiting the ride he pulled her to him. His hands dangerously placed on her hips. "This was how that night should have ended." He kissed her with all the love eighty-eight years had built for her in his heart. She returned it happily. He leaned away from her reluctantly. Her eyes burned cerulean and violet as she looked at him in question. "Seven months, Baby Girl. We have to wait another seven months."

A pale eyebrow began its rise, "You started it, Rogers. Not me."

"I was kinda hoping you would talk me out of it." He smiled suggestively.

She ran a hand through her hair,"Seven months and now you want to tempt me?"

"Haven't I been a temptation all along?" He gave her a lop-sided smile.

"We wait. It's only seven more months and we've already waited decades. Let's do this right."

He sighed and rested his forehead against hers. "You are going to be the death of me, Stanton. I'll wait because it's you. Just know that I would have you tonight. Right here if you'd let me."

She settled a hand on his chest as she suppressed a sigh and the desire to just say yes. "Soon, Babe. Very soon and for all the time we have left in life."

 

"Eleven Wakandans were killed in Lagos, Nigeria last month." Steve sighed. As if the constant coverage hadn't explained that already, he thought. He listened to King T'Chaka's statement and thought of Nahvie. She was trying to be the bridge. The king appreciated the Avengers acknowledgment of respect by sending a princess to be his liaison. Steve was proud of her work but he needed her home. Daddy is rather useless when Mommy isn't around, he thought, laughing silently at the joke. He turned off the television only to hear a similar broadcast from another room. This one more verbally abusive about the only person on the team who needed Nahvie more than he. 

He was never sure what to say to her. Between the parental jokes and the fact she and Viz looked to Nahvie like, well like a mom, he wasn't sure what tone to strike. When Nahvie wasn't around to stop her, Wanda dove head first into self-recrimination. This wasn't her fault, despite what the news reported. This was on him and the guilt of failure was not hers to bear. Now, he needed to convince her of that. Time to go 'dad' her out of her funk because 'mom' is at work.

He listened to the reasons she felt like she did. He didn't dismiss them. He shared his own insecurities. It had all gone south because Rumlow said, Bucky. He shouldered the blame.

"It's on both of us."

"This job...We try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes that doesn't mean everyone." He tried to say what he thought Nahvie would have said. He concluded by telling her they saved more lives by trying to do the right thing than they had lost. He hoped he was making some headway when Vision came through the wall. As requested, Steve was alerted that Tony was back in the compound and he'd brought company, Secretary of State Ross.For the first time in days, Steve was happy Nahvalia wasn't there. She and Ross despised each other.

Wakanda, Africa

Nahvalia disconnected the call with her attorney when a knock sounded at her door. She answered it herself as she had declined a serving person. The tall dark woman informed her she had been summoned. She requested the messenger stand by while she freshened herself to be seen.

She closed her eyes and splashed water on her face. Thoughts drifting to a hammock and random naps. Fancy led her to thoughts of becoming a lady of leisure far removed from the troubles of world security as Steve's wife and mother of his children. Her mind froze at the thought of children. Keepers of the Sacred Peace. Lights of the Nine Realms. She knew her duty to her parents, her people. Could she truly condemn her own child to such a fate?

New York City

The team listened to his speech. Steve was still surprised Stark would be here for this. For a year or so now he'd been solely interested in the tech development for the team, not regular missions. His supposition was confirmed when Secretary Ross started his Powerpoint. He listed each major conflict, never acknowledging once how their intervention saved lives. Steve readied himself to listen to arguments, debate, hints of misconduct with a composed open mind. Instead, Ross started tossing accusations of criminal almost terrorist like activities around. Cap's stoicism was sorely tested.

Steve could now see why Nahvalia had argued with words like the reprehensible irresponsibility of the decision to place control in the hands of its most monstrous perpetrator. It did not matter that the fatalities and casualties list was greatly reduced. Ross didn't mention the launch of a nuclear weapon over New York City that they had been forced to dispose of. It failed to be noticed that a bomb had gone off and there were survivors. This conversation only went to prove that the focus was on the incendiary device being allowed to go off at all. No consideration for the fact they had kept a bio-weapon out of HYDRA's hands. Or that the world's governments lacked the capability to have dealt with the threat without them. As though their lives had no value.

Ross set a book down in front of Wanda. It was titled the Sokovia Accords. Steve knew with a sinking feeling in his chest this was the mission Nahvie had been ordered to liaison for. Tony had given Ross the opportunity to sway the team into signing because Nahvalia wasn't there to refute him. Ross had requested this knowing she would not be there to eloquently tell him to leave and Ross could bully the team with official sounding terms and a promise of this being the middle ground. They were being told they had no rights and they were believing him.

"Three days from now in Vienna the Accords will be ratified," Ross announced.

Wakanda, Africa

Nahvalia was seated before her computer reading the last of her speech for the summit meeting. Another knock had her on her feet, King T'Chaka required her presence.

"Your Majesty." She bowed, as curtseying no longer seemed natural.

King T'Chaka smiled at what was with he was becoming familiar with as her form of respect. "You will not be coming with us tomorrow I have been informed."

Nahvalia processed the news quickly. She was grateful for the amount of warning she'd received. It wasn't often Fury gave her any. "I apologize for any inconvenience this causes you."

"It will not. However, I have grown fond of your company. You remind me in many ways of my daughter."

She smiled,"I have grown fond of yours, as well. You remind me of my father. I miss him more than I have words for."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost two hundred years. I have longed to share conversations with him. Hear his thoughts about my life. Tell him how I've missed him."

"What keeps you from going home?"

"In truth, I believe it was my fear. Now I cannot leave because of my work and those I love here. I do not believe I could look upon the face of my father and see disappointment. Of all the many things I have seen in my life, I know that would be the thing that would break me."

T'Chaka stopped her and lifted a hand to her chin. "I shall tell you a secret. No father is ever disappointed by his child. Your father would look upon your face with much pride. Go. See him. He has missed you as much as you have missed him. I asked you here so I could say goodbye to you. Also to thank you. You have argued well for enhanced people. I implore you to never stop."

She considered his words before she spoke. "I have been honored to be in your presence, Your Majesty. It has been over long since I have been in the company of such eloquence. I look forward to future conversations with you." She bowed again and took her leave.

New York City

Steve flipped through pages Nahvie had long since memorized. His frustrated thoughts took him down dark twisted roads. She had seen this coming. She had warned him. She had told him about the dangers of governmental interference and he had argued with her about her involvement. Had fought with her about these missions. Assigned Romanov as her backup, never once had he realized he was undermining her success. His desire for her safety had guaranteed her failure. All the while Tony was leveling his guilt at them.

He wished she were here. Tony needed a sharp wit to tell him how this was something he needed to take a deeper look at. He needed to cease his endorsement of this. This wasn't aliens. Not dark elves and how had Ross dismissed that calamity? Did no one notice how London had been destroyed or was it because Ross harbored a man crush for Thor? He'd noticed his absence quickly enough. He needed a clearer view, they all did. He felt like the poster child for the opposite.

Wakanda, Africa

Nahvalia packed and made ready to meet her plane. Her mother's voice echoing without reason in her mind. "Be not so fast to get others to see your side. You are no dictator. Look instead to those that already are."

She knew the team needed her. Knew Steve was feeling assailed. She also knew it was long passed time and she had made a promise. "Take me to Bucharest." The pilot nodded and changed course.

New York City

Steve had mentally prepared himself to argue. Had rebuttals for their words. Then he got the message. He excused himself. He took a moment alone on the stairs. He texted Nahvie then returned to tell the team he was leaving.

He carried her. He thought of the thousands of ways he would have carried each of them. Peggy. Bucky. Nahvalia. He tried to contain his tears, silently praying this would be the one and only time he carried one of them to say goodbye. He hoped Nahvie would come, then he wouldn't feel so alone.

Bucharest

Nahvalia had spotted him on the street. It wasn't that he hadn't been careful, she knew who she was looking for. She dressed to blend in. Platform combat boots. Skinny jeans. A band t-shirt. A hoodie. She waited for him on the sidewalk.

Bucky enfolded her in his arms. She felt the tension thrumming through him. He breathed in her hair, hummed happiness at her being there. Being real. He heard her say they needed to leave the street. He nodded but he didn't let her go. His arm rested on her shoulders. Bucky led her back to his apartment and heaved himself into a chair.

"I dreamed of your face. I didn't think you could still be real. I mean here, alive. They could erase me. Destroy my mind. They almost took Steve, but they could never take you. My quiet angel."

She sat on the floor and held his hands. A pale brow lifting, "Quiet angel, huh? They did take me, Buck, if that's the way you remember me. What's going on in there?" She asked in hushed tones.

"I'm putting myself back together. I'm not who I used to be. I don't think I'll ever get back to that. Not after the things I've done. But I'm not the Winter Soldier either. I'm...I'm just Bucky, I think." His words were halting and barely more than a whisper. He touched her hair then her cheek. "What's your name?"

"Nahvalia. My name is Nahvalia." She smiled softly, a bit sadly.

"That...that isn't what we called you. We called you..." He searched his abused mind for memory. "Ash." He smiled down at her. "We used to climb trees. You took books to baseball games." His hand moved to her chin, his thumb ghosting over her lower lip. "You don't like to be touched. You don't like to dance. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I love you."

She had no words. She moved from the floor and caught him up in a hug. "Damn you. You should have just come home. We missed you. We needed you."

He hugged her back. Unable to articulate how those words felt. 'We needed you', she'd said. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. She had missed him. She needed him. They needed him. Someone, no they wanted him in their lives. In that moment, that was all he needed to hear.

London, England

Steve looked at the speaker when Sam nudged him. Sharon had taken this moment to confess to being Peggy's niece. She spoke words of Peggy's he needed to hear. Even now, she was giving him the strength to move ahead.

Over the years he had picked up much from Nahvie involving ways to get information that didn't include intimidation. He used one now. He flirted with Sharon and was surprised at how readily she responded. He wanted - no, he needed to know one thing. Had she known? Sharon gave him a response that surprised him. She hadn't wanted Peggy to have any secrets from him. Eerily the same reason Nahvalia had never told Bucky any of hers. Sam called to him pulling him from his reverie. Steve followed. He mused to himself : why did those around him believe they had to shelter him. Bucky and Nahvie had started it, had always protected him. They did it out of love.

Bucharest

Nahvalia told Bucky everything with the exception of her engagement. She answered all of his questions. She told him the whole story, sometimes with her eyes closed in painful memory. So she missed the way his eyes drank in her face. She didn't notice the sweet smile curling at his mouth. They walked to the market. They were buying fruit unaware that a bomb was going off in Vienna. 

Her phone lit up an hour after the explosion alerting her to the news Bucky was being blamed for the attack. She waited until he'd gone to add memories to his notebook. He was thoroughly consumed when she went to the roof and called Steve.

"Hey, Baby Girl. Have you made it home yet?" He asked. He sounded tense. She imagined she knew why and a part of her was upset she was about to make it worse. It was a small part compared to the relief of being an alibi for Bucky.

"Not quite. I saw the news. It wasn't him. I know where he is."

"You gonna tell me?"

"Yeah. You're going to keep him and the two of you safe, right?"

"As safe as I can. Got an important date in November I need to be at." She heard the smile in his voice. She gave him the address.

Steve called Natasha next. She didn't hesitate to answer the phone. The team had been through a lot together and it was disheartening that politics was tearing it to shreds. Nat could see Tony's side clearer than Steve's. She knew the weight of the guilt that follows the choosing of a fight. It would be much easier to let the government shoulder the blame for the actions of the team. Steve wouldn't - no, couldn't,- understand those feelings because of his moral standards. He didn't lose sleep wondering if his decisions had been the right ones. Steve had no moral dilemmas. Apparently, his fiancee was the same.

Nat all but begged Steve to come in. She promised they would take care of Barnes, unsure if she were lying or not. She listened as Steve spoke words that dropped her heart to her toes. "I'm the one least likely to die trying." She stared at the phone when he disconnected the call.

"She tell you to stay out of it?" Sam asked. Their conversation continued quietly. Steve needed information first. He had to know if anyone was aware Nahvalia had been with Bucky. Sharon slipped him a folder. He glanced down in relief. SHIELD knew nothing about her whereabouts in correlation to Bucky's. His reprieve was short lived. 

"We have orders to shoot on sight," Sharon told him gravely before leaving. 

One of the perks of having a ridiculously wealthy fiancee was the speed at which things could be done. He and Sam were on a plane to Bucharest within the hour. 

Bucharest

Bucky wanted to give her a surprise and went for fresh fruit. He had listened to her stories, believed her when she'd said he'd known her and Steve well. He had seen her face a thousand times in his dreams, same with Steve. Bucky had watched her sleep, his fingers tangling in her hair when her breathing had become soft and regular.

He found he knew almost everything there was to know about her. She slept in a tight ball wrapped around a pillow when she was alone. She talked in her sleep. She didn't like to be touched by those she didn't know well. She had to trust a person before they could make contact without causing her stress. He knew he loved her. Her face had haunted his dreams far longer than he wanted to admit. He knew he didn't want to love her, she was Steve's. He had always wanted them to be together, only the best for his Steve. He wasn't sure if his erotic memories of Steve were real but he suspected they were due to their detailed nature. He knew his dreams of her were no more than that. She and Steve, his beautiful blonds.

It hurt when he returned to find her gone. She'd left a note on the table telling him Steve would be there soon and She'd gone to find a car. He guessed Steve must have noticed it when he'd come in. At least he knew the man flipping through his notebook, his memories, hadn't come as a threat.

Steve hadn't seen his girlfriend in weeks. The scent of her perfume was a welcomed surprise. He had asked her to find a car, he wanted her gone in case Bucky didn't take his arrival well. Steve explained the situation as succinctly as possible. "They aren't planning on taking you alive."

"Smart. Good strategy." Bucky answered with a bit of respect for his enemies. Steve tried to reason further when they heard men on the stairs.

"This doesn't have to end in a fight, Buck."

"It always ends in a fight," Bucky added wearily. The police broke down the apartment door. As Bucky had predicted there was a fight. Together they fought through the building. Bucky made his exit from a window only to be immediately attacked by a man in a black cat suit. Steve was right behind them. The amount of force the United Nations was tossing at Bucky's capture had Steve concerned. Then Rhodes arrived to congratulate him for becoming a criminal. Again.

Vision was having difficulty understanding Nahvalia's decision to side with the Captain. She did not make choices based on emotions so her relationship with him was not the cause. Surely she saw the same reasons he did for the Accords. Wanda had taken Nahvie's absence and isolation badly. Viz hoped food would help. He was becoming very attached to Wanda. 

Sharon introduced them to Everett Ross. He was less cordial than the Secretary of State. Steve watched Bucky hauled off in the containment unit. He and Sam watched their gear disappear, Tony assuring them that the current state of affairs could be much worse. Steve was in no mood for Tony's brand of humor at the moment.

While Tony argued with Ross on the phone, Steve's own lit up with a message from Nahvie. He smiled.

"That's some girl you got there, Cap," Sam said.

Steve sighed, "Yeah she is. She's always tried to keep us out of trouble. I'm getting tired of bringing it home to her."

"You mean you're breaking up with her? Man, I'm telling you right now, I'm going after her." Sam smiled.

Steve scoffed," No, that's not what I mean. I love her too much. Besides, who in their right mind leaves the ruler of a planet?"

"Alright then. You had me worried for a minute." Sam taunted.

"You just jumped at my girl like she was a steak. You sure you got my back?" Steve teased in return.

"You know I do. We both do. Seriously though what do we do now? What's the plan?" Steve shook his head. Right now they were playing a waiting game.

 

Everett Ross came asking questions Steve didn't want to answer. "Your fiancee didn't join us in Vienna. Do you know where she is?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Steve answered trying to keep anger from his voice. His jaw clenched with the strain of it.

"Dr. Nahvalia Stanton. That must be quite the prize, Captain. As wealthy as Mr. Stark, Nobel prize winner, a doctor, and a looker to boot. I'd be worried if I misplaced a girl like that. Especially one so vocally against the Accords. Where could she be?"

"As you said she's got a lot of money and causes to fight for. I'm sure she'll turn up eventually."

"Well, I hope she turns up soon," Ross said patronizingly.

"I'll be sure I pass along your concern when I call her to tell her I won't be home tonight because of the Accords. I'll make sure she knows your name. I hear for a doctor she can get very creative when devising revenge and ways to kill people."

Ross smirked at Steve. " She looks like an absolute pussycat on tv."

"My fiancee is a deceptive looking girl." Steve smiled coldly as Ross took his leave.

"Did you really just threaten him with Nahvie? She's about as threatening as a Christmas puppy." 

Steve raised an eyebrow at Sam. "You find a six-hundred-year-old woman, who is a veteran of war, as defenseless as a puppy? You saw what she did to Viz and Wanda. We need to have a very serious talk about your powers of observation."

"True, but Ross has a gun." Sam pointed out.

"Nahvie can bench press Thor in her sleep without hands."

"But she isn't here right now." Sam retorted.

"True." Steve mused.

 

"Wanna see something cool?" Tony asked attempting to draw him into the conversation. His thoughts were not on the Accords or Tony's relentless pursuit to get him to see his side. Tony even went so far as to incorporate them into their talk about Tony's personal life. Steve wondered how Pepper felt about the Accords. She was a criminal too if she hadn't signed. "God, I hated you." It was about that time Steve stopped listening.

 

They watched Bucky's interrogation on the screen. Nahvalia had once told him people dumbed things down for him because he was physically intimidating and his age. He worked his mind to the problem at hand. Coming to the conclusion just as the Winter Soldier made his appearance. Steve made his way to Bucky texting Nahvie along the way.

Nahvalia stood in the remains of an auto body shop. It had everything she needed. It was for sale. Had no squatters. The plumbing worked and now it had a bed. They could lay low for a minute give them some time to figure out what had happened and make a plan. Sam watching Bucky while Steve cleaned up. She had healed all of their injuries. She had picked Sam up first, needing him there in case Steve needed help loading Bucky into the back of the SUV. He joined her handing over a cup of coffee. She smiled gratefully.

"So you get to play knight in shining armor for Captain America. Got to feel pretty badass to be a princess saving your superhero boyfriend." He smiled at her.

She smiled wider and snorted a laugh." Sometimes it feels badass. Mostly it feels like a lot of worries." She looked him over. "There's cot over in the corner. You should get some rest."

"What about you?" He asked.

"I gotta make sure the screaming doesn't start."


	28. Consumation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> b/b sex NSFW +18 language absolute smut not of much relevance to the story but it did happen. Explicit content

Sam and Nahvie were making phone calls, collecting and arranging things needed to leave. Steve released Bucky from the vice. Bucky rose from the floor stiffly. "Here," Steve said taking his hand. Bucky's eyes were glued to the front of his shirt. He wouldn't have sworn to it but it looked like he'd kept growing after becoming a super soldier. Bucky wasn't entirely sure he hadn't either. His eyes met those of Steve recalcitrant. The sky blue met steel blue with a softness Bucky wasn't expecting. He couldn't help himself, one of his blond dolls would have to be his.

His lips caressed Steve's tentatively, afraid of rejection. Steve pulled Bucky into his chest, a hand grabbing at his ass, the other fisted in his hair. Steve's mouth sucked greedily at his lips, teasing Bucky's mouth open for tasting, devouring. Bucky's hands were on Steve's hips pulling him closer still. The friction between them caused slight discomfort to already forming erections.

Bucky knew someone had been teaching Steve the techniques of kissing. Whoever she was had done a fabulous job. Bucky made a mental note to thank whoever she was later. Steve's lips were soft, yet demanding, his tongue made brief forays of exploration into the cavern of his mouth. Open-mouthed kisses of mingled breath. He pulled back slightly to stop their lips from touching. It was almost too much at once. Bucky had to catch his breath.

"Are you okay?" Steve panted quietly. Bucky swallowed but it wasn't enough to wet his throat even as the thoughts of Steve's mouth on his made his mouth water. He nodded silently. Steve's hand brushed Bucky's left shoulder, Bucky trembled. Steve hadn't seen the scars, he didn't know. What if he was disgusted by them? Steve took in the details: eyes darting side to side, nostrils flared, jaw clenched. His breathing and heart rate were elevated. Bucky was about to have a panic attack. Because he had touched Bucky's arm.

"Bucky, look at me." Steve used his other hand to tip Bucky's head up. "I will love you no matter what. You've tried to kill me three times and I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. Steve read the body language: eyes blinking, breath steadying. He wet his lips. Crisis averted.

Steve removed his own shirt first, toeing off his shoes as he did. His hands moved to the hem of Bucky's henley. Bucky shrugged out of it and hugged himself. Steve pulled him close, hands ran over his back, Steve dropped kisses on Bucky's forehead and eyelids. "It's okay, Buck. It's me and you." Steve reassured him quietly. Bucky dropped his head to Steve's shoulder, his arms wrapping around his waist.

A sad moan escaped before Steve could stop it. His hand moved to pet Bucky's hair. His heart broke at the wetness felt at his shoulder. "They did awful things to you, Buck. They made you do horrible things but all of that is over now. We'll keep you safe. You are with me." Steve felt the nod and sensed the change within him. Bucky wiped his face on his left shoulder. 

"Are we?" Bucky asked in a rough voice. Steve imagined Bucky had only sounded like that once before. His first time.

Steve took a deep breath and calmed all of the rough thoughts in his head. "If you want to. " He answered calmly. He watched Bucky decide. He knew now how Nahvalia knew so much and betrayed so little of herself. He quietly admired her rigid self-control. He battled images of the three of them down in his mind and focused on the present. He took Bucky's hand and led them to the room she had prepared. He looked around it at the spartan accommodations, thankful yet again to his fiancee and her foresight. The bed was new as were the sheets. He remembered her admonishment to him. 'Be tender. He believes he dreamt it. Don't give him any more painful memories.'

Steve was silently grateful to Heimdal for placing her in New York City. He was grateful that she loved them enough to give them this. Let them be this. That she protects their secret. His heart overflowed with love for both of them as he knelt to remove Bucky's shoes. The steel toes were heavy and landed with a thud that captured Bucky's attention.

Bucky took in the room with exacting clarity. His eyes took in the view of Steve's back. Steve straightened from the floor. "It's okay, Buck. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. But you do need some rest." He said soothingly. Bucky looked into his friend's eyes seeing only love reflected in them. When he wet his lips he closed his eyes and kissed Steve.

The kiss was sweet until Bucky moved his hand to the top of Steve's jeans. Bucky felt the skin beneath his finger jerk in response and heard the hitch in his breath. The nature of the kiss changed, became more demanding and hungry. Their mouths met with teeth bumping and lip swelling kisses. They held each other so tight they felt the other's chest heave for breath.

Bucky undid his own jeans not wanting to give Steve the chance to misinterpret or over think himself out of it. He shoved denim and cotton boxers from his body, kicking himself free. Again he heard Steve's breath catch in his throat, it drew a needy growl from Bucky. Steve ratched the sexual tension almost through the roof when he made the removal of his own pants and boxer briefs a slow sensual show. Bucky swallowed hard to relieve the aridness of his mouth Steve's erection had caused. He watched the small, slow, knowing smile creep up Steve's face and suddenly he couldn't wait anymore.

He crushed Steve in his arms allowing force and gravity to carry them down to the bed. His mouth moved over Steve's neck in a mix of bites, nips, licks and open-mouthed kisses. It drew his name from Steve's mouth in a needy whimper.

Steve's name was pulled from his own by the hand at his manhood. It fisted the girth in a firm grip. As he cried out in pleasure Steve bit down on his shoulder so sharply it almost broke the skin. Bucky was in so much pleasure he left crescent-shaped indents in the skin over Steve's shoulders. Heavy erections brushed together only heightened the glorious agony of foreplay. He resisted the temptation to return to his lover's mouth. Instead, he embarked on the slow journey down his torso. He worshiped Steve's nipples before moving slowly lower. Steve's hands fisted tightly in the blankets covering the bed. Nahvie's words stopped him from rushing the mouth that moved over his body. The polished metal was cool as it took a nipple between finger and thumb rolling the small nub.

Bucky had passed Steve's navel. The erection even more impressive that close up. He wet his lips at the sight of moisture beaded at the slit at the tip of his member. He encircled the base of that hardness before lapping at the tip. Steve's pleasured shudder only spurred Bucky on. His tongue moved over the blond's engorged length coating it completely with saliva. " Come if you need to." He told Steve in a rasp. He didn't trust himself with more words.

He took as much of Steve's length as he could in his mouth. He can't name what Steve tastes like as anything other than Steve. His right hand moved down to gently caress his lovers' balls, the hated metal one, to please the length Bucky could not fit in his mouth. Hands tangled in his hair as breath exited from above him in a deep moan and shudders. He focused his attention on the head of his lover's member, lapping and sucking where he knew Steve liked it best. He moaned when the hands pulled on his hair. He swirled his tongue around his lover's tip on last time before engulfing it in an attempt to fit the whole of Steve in his mouth. Bucky failed but not for lack of trying. His left hand moved over what didn't fit in tandem with Bucky's bobbing head. He had set a slow pace at first wanting to forestall their pleasure but those thoughts had been quickly dismissed as foolish, enhanced as they both were. His speed and pressure had gradually increased. He had added the occasional random scrap of teeth.

Bucky was not prepared for Steve to grab his head and extract himself. He wondered fleetingly if he'd done something wrong when Steve rose from the bed. His trepidation was replaced with erotic excitement when he'd laid back down. Steve's cock was then positioned directly in his face. Bucky's cock jerked in response as Steve's warm breath wafted over him.

The first lap of Steve's tongue was almost Bucky's undoing. The brunette's hips thrust forward into the wet warmth of Steve's mouth. The moan he had been rewarded with thrummed from his cock up his spine and into his brain like an electric shock. Steve's mouth on his swollen head caused Bucky's eyes to drift closed in complete ecstasy. Then Steve sucked his manhood into his warm orifice. It was a galvanizing call to action for him. He worked his mouth over Steve. He was determined he would satisfy his lover before allowing himself the gift of release but Steve had offered him a gift. He couldn't, wouldn't disappoint Steve because he thought he needed to torture himself. "You can move too. If you need to." He'd said before taking him back into his eager mouth. 

Bucky felt his body flush with the pleasure of Steve's mouth on him. He felt the blood collect in his dick. He sensed his release on a fast approaching horizon when Steve undid him with sucking on the tip of Bucky's cock and a probing tongue to his slit. Ribbons of sticky fluid were swallowed quickly as Steve sucked him dry. His own work on Steve's member was all but forgotten in the euphoric bliss of orgasm. Steve was cautious not to over stimulate him. He filed that away for later consideration.

Once cognizant thought had returned to his brain he sucked at Steve as if starved. He was humming with pleasure when hips began moving the delicious length of Steve in and out of his mouth. The gasps and moans that came from his lover's mouth enthralled him. Praises, curses, desperate pleas and inarticulate words came to him as favorite music. He felt it when Steve went rigid and his pleasure painted the walls of his mouth and throat. He swallowed quickly as he was able unwilling to lose a single drop of Steve's release. He sucked it from him until Steve shuddered, cock throbbing. He waited until his lover's hands have fallen to his side in weak relief. Bucky cradled him into his arms and placed him right side up in the bed under the blankets. Bucky crawled in next to him into arms held open waiting for him. Steve pressed a wordless kiss to his forehead and together they found sleep.


	29. Malfeasance

"So you're a criminal again." Nahvalia taunted him as he ate breakfast. "Who knew Captain America would turn out to be such a bad boy." She attempted unsuccessfully to hide a smile behind her coffee cup. Sam and Bucky were both still sleeping or Steve knew they would be joining in.

"If that's what is going to help you sleep at night." He teased back. "I know they are looking for us. We need to be on our way to Siberia and you need to be on a plane far away before they find out you were helping us." Steve said unhappily.

"I wish I were more disappointed and surprised Tony is being obtuse. The man needed to work on his brain, not his heart. He's three-quarters of Dorothy's entourage all on his onesie." She closed her eyes and massaged her forehead.

"Things are going to get worse before they get better. It's only a matter of time before we're found. We're trying to hide from Tony. It won't work forever. I also want to make sure you are kept out of it." He sighed knowing the monumental scale of such goals.

Nahvalia scoffed, "My dearest Captain. I am fully capable of handling myself. I am surrendering to them. That's your cover." She forestalled what she knew was going to become a heated argument at the deep frown on his face and the set of his jaw. "How do you think the public is going to respond to the accusations? Secretary Ross arresting a decorated soldier with nothing more than suspicion. I'm sure government and SHIELD representatives dragging a Nobel prize winning physician on vacation back to America without a warrant, a reason for extradition or due cause is not going to go over well. It's a campaign year and both the senator and the President are huge fans of yours. News crews will be on the tarmac before my plane has even taken flight."

"What about you?" He asked quietly with so much unsaid feeling behind those words her heart almost broke.

"What about me? I can handle this, Steve. So they find out about me? Tell everyone what I am? They will have escalated the situation from an unlawful arrest of a private citizen to the arrest of an interplanetary royal to capture Captain America. I almost want this to happen." Her eyes narrowed in challenge.

"Nahvie, what are you...? No! You absolutely cannot do this." She took a moment to appreciate the nostrils flaring and the clenching of his jaw.

"Steve, you've seen how much force they are willing to send after you. This is the least I can do to help you. They have nothing to hold me on. Accept this and go with them to Siberia before it's too late. I'll handle this. You need to be on your way to meet the team."

He gave her a lopsided smile and a shake of the head. "You've got it all figured out haven't you?" He asked her rhetorically. She smiled proudly. I'm just glad you are on my side." He pulled her to him in a hug. He didn't have to hide the worry on his face. She couldn't see it when her own was pressed to his chest trying to hide her own fears.

That was how Bucky found his beautiful blond dolls, hugging. It warmed his heart to see them thusly together. He wished it were under other circumstances. Bucky had a hard time missing the helpless worry obvious in Steve's eyes. "Hey. What are we doing?" Nahvalia told him the plan to aid their escape. He hated it, they both did. They told her so.

"You don't need to be involved, Nahvie. If this goes terribly wrong..." Bucky shook his head unwilling to give his thoughts words. As if speaking them would make them real.

"Stop. Big girl over here." They both scoffed at her and received the angry eyebrow. "Go. Let me know when you're safe. I'll try to meet you before your plane leaves." She smiled.

"Stay safe, Stanton. I'm serious." Bucky scolded quietly. His hands tenderly caught her jaw, tipping her head up to look at him. Those hauntingly gray eyes, almost as intoxicating as the sky blue of Steve's. Her eyes knew the darker secrets, his fear. He watched the nervous flick of her tongue and couldn't help himself. A wash of warm vanilla and cinnamon permeated his nose from the perfume at her throat as he pressed his lips to hers. He felt her stiffen beneath his hands, her lips immobile with shock. His arm met her lower back and pulled her closer before her mind had registered what was happening. Her lips began to move with his when his hand caught at the back of her head. It was a gentle press of longing, all of the years he had wanted to do this with her. Warm soft lips meeting tenderly. Her arms wrapped around his neck, hands grasping at forearms to stop them from grabbing anything else. Sharp tears stung her eyes. She lowered her head and blinked quickly to clear them before she lifted her head. She lowered her arms from him as if in an afterthought.

"Damn it, Barnes. You ever leave us for seventy years again and I'm not sure I'll wait around next time." She smiled. The joke didn't take the sorrow from her eyes. He nodded to Steve, giving them time to say whatever they needed to say.

"What is it, Baby Girl?" Steve asked once they were alone. He hadn't missed any of the complicated emotions that had played over her features.

She swallowed hard, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened her eyes and began cataloging details. The soft wash of denim, how his shirt clung to his large frame. That he wore one in her favorite color. The way he smelled, a combination of laundry detergent, soap, after shave and deodorant. The way his arms felt around her as he pulled her to him. The way his chest felt under her cheek. The sound of his sure steady heartbeat. She breathed past the lump that had formed in her throat and leaned back to take in his face. The strength of his jaw, his beautiful lips curved now in a soft smile. The crystalline blue of his eyes. The soft strands of blond hair. She smiled back, nothing in her expression betraying her fear of loss. That this was goodbye. "Go. Now. I'll be fine."

His fingers tipped her head back and kissed her softly. Their lips moving together in an increasingly familiar dance she would never get tired of doing and he would never tire of adding new steps to. He let her go reluctantly, afraid if he didn't go now he'd demand she came along before they'd properly prepared. Nahvie knocked at the door to make sure they took Sam too. She had to be sure they were clear of this place within ten minutes. 

"Stay safe. Look out for my boys." She told him, fighting the urge to start gnawing on her lip.

"Will do." Sam's eyes glittered with a smile.

"Remember, though, you're one of my boys now too." She smiled in return. She waved goodbye as the Beetle passed her. She leaned on a low concrete wall and had a cigarette. For the first time in a year, the itching had stopped. She dreaded to guess at the cause. She had finished smoking by the time they had arrived to arrest her.

"Can you move your seat up?" Bucky asked politely from the back seat. 

"No," Sam answered tersely. He was not fond of Bucky right now. It was because of him they were in this mess in the first place. It was because of him Cap was losing his team and lying.

Sam hadn't known Steve and Nahvie had not wanted Bucky to know about their relationship until they'd found out how stable he was mentally. So when Sam had asked Steve about what 'his girl' was doing about all of this he hadn't expected Bucky to ask who she was or for Steve to lie. His wings were in that trunk. They needed to get this fixed so things could get sorted and life could get back to some kind of normal. But first Steve had to follow through with his part of this. They watched as Steve kissed Agent Carter. Sam smiled and nodded, taking a small amount of pride in the work Steve had done. Also, now he had something to tease him with.

Bucky looked on with a bittersweet smile. Of course, she was going to be a blonde. He couldn't help but think how much better it would have been if Steve would have just picked Nahvie. Sharon didn't look like the type who would accept him nor the type to share. Nahvie had done both.

New York City

Secretary Ross was not amused she had demanded her trial be televised. He was also unamused she had requested and received the House's attention. Her tribunal was no longer a military hearing. It looked like a Cabinet meeting, a UN summit with a dash of a rock concert. Nahvalia Ja'Darehn had just made Secretary Ross' life very complicated.

"Why are we here, Miss Stanton?" Ross attempted to feign boredom to hide his growing vexation with the small woman.

"That would be Princess Ja'Darehn to you, Secretary Ross. I am here because I was detained by your men, in a foreign country, and brought here." She answered, the imperious gaze of the queen settled on Ross. He felt uncomfortable under the weight of it. This was an entirely different side of her than they had seen last time they had met.

"Why were you in Bucharest?"

"I was looking to expand my business interests. I was purchasing real estate."

"Looking for real estate? I doubt that. I believe you were aiding and abetting a known war criminal." Ross challenged.

"Indeed?" She frowned at him. Her attorney rested a hand over hers and whispered to her. "Well, that's quite the interpretation of how I was found, Sir. Given that I was found alone in a building I very recently purchased." She clarified in glacial tones.

Matt leaned in closer. "Once again, Nahvie, please don't bait him too much." She nodded almost imperceptively.

"So you weren't harboring a war criminal and a fugitive vigilante?" Ross questioned further, a hint of a smile at his mouth. "You were in no violation of the Sokovian Accords?"

Nahvalia's voice grew steadily colder. "I have no idea who you believe me to be aiding, Secretary. You have yet to provide me with the names of the individuals you believe me to be assisting as you stand there tossing the accusations. Knowing how staunchly opposed to the Accords I am, I would know if they'd been ratified. As this has not happened, how could I possibly be in violation of them?" Her smile lacked warmth and did not reach her eyes.

"We are aware of your feeling toward this legislation. We are also aware that is the reason you requested, or rather demanded, a televised hearing of a relatively minor military matter." Ross spat.

"I requested a televised tribunal for a plethora of reasons, beginning with the extradition of a private citizen without reasonable cause. As you so kindly pointed out when last we spoke, I am not, in fact, a United States citizen. Although it has been my home of over one-hundred-fifty years and served its military in some capacity for all of its major conflicts since the Civil War. I would also be remiss if I failed to state for the general assembly that I surrendered as I was requested at the time, Secretary Ross, and you still have yet to name them. Now, I have a question for you."

"Yes?" Ross asked surprised by her words.

"Why are you persecuting us? We've done nothing but help people. Why are you trying to give credence to and harbor anti-enhanced ideology? How can you fill the position of Secretary of State when you stand in direct opposition to the Constitution?" The gathered assembly erupted into a divisive cacophony of cheers or cries of outrage. Ross' face reddened with anger at her charges. She sat in motionless silence awaiting his response. The attorney beside her whispered something else with the slightest hint of a head shake. The officers of the tribunal called for quiet and order.

"Is this why you asked for this?" He repeated his earlier question "To inflame your supporters with your baseless accusations?" Ross snarled at her.

"How is it baseless? You had myself arrested on a suspicion so weak you won't even put it to word." She retorted.

"We are done here." Ross snapped. "Don't plan on going anywhere." He stabbed the air in front of her with a finger.

A pale eyebrow rose in challenge. "I'm in no violation of any laws. You no longer possess any military authority over me. I am a reigning monarch of an entire planet. You have no reason nor ability to detain me. Any attempt at such will be regarded by myself and my allies as an act of war. I would question the wisdom of said decision."

"You dare threaten me?" Ross exclaimed walking into Nahvalia's personal space staring down at her.

"I do not threaten, ross. I am telling you that you are on the verge of creating an interplanetary military crisis. I know you lack the authority and governmental support to do so. Do not continue to play in a political arena you have no place in." Her words were cold, logical.

The tribunal assembly watched the confrontation in stunned silence as the tableau between Ross and Ja'Darehn escalated quickly. The tension already thick, ratcheted further when Tony Stark was announced. "I hear my Captain's fiancee has come out of the enhanced closet. Nice to see you, Princess. I am here to formally charge James Buchana Barnes for the bombing of the UN."

"Mr. Stark," Nahvalia's tone dropped by several degrees."Unless you have received an upgrade in title since last I saw you those charges are ludicrous. Mr. Barnes will not be charged with any of it. You will find he has an alibi for the bombing. As for the label of war criminal, I feel it is my duty as his personal physician to state that Mr. Barnes was not operating of his own free will." Ross and Stark attacked her verbally at the same time.

"So you know where Barnes is," Ross demanded.

"One has to wonder how you find your patients, Doc?" Tony asked hotly.

"Sergent Barnes, Captain Rogers and I became acquainted long ago. Therefore, I am the most qualified to be the doctor treating him and evaluating his care. I am no longer aware of Mr. Barnes' whereabouts but I can assure you he will be the recipient of the best mental healthcare and a proper attorney when he resurfaces. Perhaps you need reminding he has been a prisoner of war for the last seventy years, tortured and forced by HYDRA to perform these horrific acts. The same organization that infiltrated SHIELD and caused the carnage in Washington DC."

She faced Tony directly, "If those are the actions of a war criminal then you need to surrender yourself, Stark. It was you who created Ultron. You are no more blameless than HYDRA." She spat with frozen fury.

She turned on Ross, "Given your previous treatment of Dr. Banner, you couldn't possibly be less suited to view Sergent Barnes' case with any level of objectivity, as I previously stated."

"My qualifications are not the question here!"Ross practically screamed in her face. Another collective gasp was drawn from the assembly, followed by dead silence. Tony's eyes shifted between the Secretary and the princess. 

Nahvalia took a deep breath. "The Avengers have made mistakes, I'll grant you that. However, the lives they saved should be considered as well. They placed themselves in harm's way at great personal risk to prevent further damage from threats the governments were unprepared and frankly unequipped to handle. All of those individuals will carry that weight for the rest of their lives. James Barnes has been tortured, brainwashed, and subjected to do things I know to be far beyond his character. He wasn't allowed a choice it was made for him yet he has to bear that weight. Not those that put it there.

By proposing actions that grant the governments of the world control of enhanced individuals is handing them weapons of mass destruction. The Accords are designed to subjugate enhanced people to do the will of governmental control, depriving them of freedom and free choice. Slavery. Which is illegal worldwide. The Geneva Convention and the UN itself were designed to stop these atrocities before they start. To label someone as a criminal because they don't want to be a registered weapon for the government is a crime of its own. 

I am also supposed to be tried by a jury of my peers. You have stood and defended these Accords. Made Anthony Stark the poster child for them. Neither of you is enhanced. You have no authority to judge me. Or those like me. You aren't a peer."

She turned to the assembly. "This is why this proposal shouldn't pass without many amendments to the document as it stands now. I fail to see many enhanced among those of you here. I have ever served this country to my utmost capability. I perceive it my duty and honor to serve my fellow veterans. Sergent James Barnes is a hero. His mind was almost destroyed by the enemies of this nation while in service to it. He is entitled, as a citizen, to the right to medical care and a fair trial."

"Did you just accuse me of being normal and ordinary?" Tony snarked at her. "I'm offended, Nahvalia. Surely you recall my brilliance."

She gave Stark and level look and turned back to Ross. "He won't receive either of those things from you, Secretary Ross. I will not allow myself or those allied with me to be surrendered to your care. You have no idea what I'm capable of." She left the chair and attempted to leave the room.

"Is that why you fight so hard? Because you're like them?" Ross hissed venomously.

"It should be considered my birthright. Would you care for a demonstration?" She answered without turning. Ross and Tony found themselves unable to speak or move. They watched helpless and mute as the small woman and her lawyer took their leave. She held them like that for the fifteen minutes it took for her to exit the building. Once clear Ross and Stark heard her deathly calm voice in their minds. "This is a mere fraction of what I am capable of. I am the sovereign ruler of people who can do this and more. I have allies that make the Chitauri seem weak and insignificant. Do. Not. Test. Me." 

Tony was on the phone the moment he could move. "Nat, have you found Rogers?"

"No. I take it the tribunal didn't go well? I hate to be the one to say I told you so but I did." She taunted dryly.

"About as well as a train wreck. Call Fury. See if he knows anything about Cap's future Mrs."

"Why? What happened?"

"She just voodoo'd me and Ross into place and silent before pulling an Elvis. I need to know everything there is to know about her."

"On it. Anything else?"

"Yeah. Find out what Ross did to Banner."

"Did to Bruce? Is He..," Nat started.

"I don't know. Something Nahvalia said in the assembly has got me thinking I don't know enough about either of them. We could be getting duped." Stark sighed in frustration.

"Am I going after Cap when I find him?" Natasha asked.

"No. Nahvalia had a good point about that too. We're just ordinary people who can do extraordinary things. They have super human powers. We've got to go together. This time, I'll bring a different suit."

Tony was not expecting the call to come from Fury himself or for it to be so close to his house. The biggest surprise was Stephen Strange himself.

"Mr. Stark, " The tall man greeted him before Tony had even knocked. "A pleasure to meet you. Do come in."

Tony entered the cavernous space and tried to be distracted by the objects within. He succeeded but only just. As he paced listening with half an ear to the good doctor's words of pleasantry he spied things in cabinets he would have to know the purpose for. Focus, Tony thought, must learn...Oooo! Shiny! It was several moments before he realized Strange had fallen silent and stood regarding him with an amused expression.

"Mr. Stark, before you again become distracted I would ask you to state your purpose for being here today." The request was mildly made.

"I'm told you can tell me about Nahvalia Ja'Darehn," Tony answered appreciating the man's desire to save time. He still had another meeting to make in Queens. 

"Why do you need to know? I believe she expressed herself rather succinctly in your presence earlier today."

"I need to know what I'm up against. Let's just say I can't take a hint." Tony retorted.

"I met her...Well, suffice it to say I met her. Through others channels, I know of her. She is not someone to be trifled with Mr. Stark. She is a gentle person whose sole purpose seems to be to create and keep the peace."

"You said 'seems'. Are you uncertain about that? She all but declared war on us if we pursued her. Not my idea of peace. I came here for answers and I'm kind of on a clock. So if you could speed things up a bit? Awesome." Tony gave him a thumbs-up.

"I saw the tribunal, Mr. Stark. I am also aware of who she is and you need not press her for her very valuable time." 

Confusion wore itself on Tony's face proudly. "What does that mean?"

"She told you to leave her alone, Mr. Stark. You should take her at her word. She came to this planet because she's a powerful weapon and did not want to be used as such. Do not force her to become one."

"A weapon?" Stark asked.

"She is the Keeper and the Light. One of the most magically gifted individuals in the Nine Realms."

"Who would be stupid enough to let her get away?" Tony asked.

Strange's eyes went wide, "They didn't let her get away. They allowed her to escape. If she were still there..." He left the sentence unfinished.

"So what is she supposed to do? Tony asked.

"That is where it grows unclear for me. The records of the Alfheimir are not meant for our purview. I would imagine given the nature of the title, it would be to save the Nine Realms from the darkness."

"Is there anything you can add to that? Maybe clear up some of the murk?"

"Only this, Mr. Stark: Let us hope we never need her Light." Strange answered enigmatically.

Asgard

Bruce Banner would never have conceived he'd be visiting Asgard. Or that he'd find himself in the royal library. He'd have laughed if someone had suggested he'd be there in the company of Thor and Loki, joined in an effort to find stones. Yet that's exactly where he was. Thor claimed there were six of them. They knew the locations of three of them. To his right, he heard Loki's growl of frustration. "What? Have you found something?" He asked.

"No, I have not. We aren't likely to either. I'm positive any mention of them she would have concealed from me." Loki spat with annoyance.

"Who would have hidden this from you?" Bruce question confused.

"Nahvalia. She had doubts about my ability to allow them to remain dormant." Vexation oozed from Loki's every syllable.

"It would appear she was correct in thinking so." Came Thor's gloating reply. It seemed unnecessary to Bruce.

"Indeed." Loki's tone had grown cold and he'd become motionless as he glared at Thor.

Bruce found himself positioned between them. He'd seen Loki and Thor fight over the smallest of things. This simply was not the time. "W-why would Nahvie know about the stones?" Bruce questioned diverting Loki's attention from his brother.

"It is her duty to protect them. Rather more precisely she protects the Realms from them." Loki answered to Bruce's relief.

"Why don't we just ask her to help us?" Bruce felt the question to be a reasonable one. He liked Nahvalia. She didn't ask pointless questions.

"Because Loki threatened her with unspeakable torture should he ever lay eyes upon her again." Thor's smile was mirthless and brittle as he looked at Loki. Bruce started to ask why when Thor's next words drove the little remaining color from Loki's pale face. "Do tell Dr. Banner. Tell him the story of how you drove the love of your life to another realm because you could not cease your scheming." Thor was almost merry now, taunting the king of Asgard. "Do not be ashamed now. Boast of your glorious achievement. You hounded the only woman who would have wed you willingly from your side. You chased the safeguard of the Alfheimir to Earth rather than simply love her back. And now as we stand threatened you see her reason. I shall enjoy standing beside you and watch your face when she weds my comrade. A man worthy of her love."

"She should have been mine!" Loki hissed in harsh angry quiet tones.

"Woah, woah, woah. Let's all just calm down here. We need to deal with one problem at a time." Bruce held a hand out at each of them. Over the course of the conversation, the gap between them had closed drastically. Bruce looked at both angry faces. "Why don't we ask her to help?" Bruce was unprepared for the reaction to his query. Loki had stopped moving to stare at him. Bruce couldn't have sworn to it but he thought he saw fear and longing chase each other over Loki's face before he disappeared.

"Brother, no!" Thor yelled at the vanishing form.

"Heimdal, fetch the Light of the Nine and bring her here. Now." Loki spat appearing in the dome containing the Bi-Frost.

Nahvalia's plane had touched down and she was on her way to the rendezvous point. She didn't want to stand between the team and argue why they shouldn't do this. She could hear voices both external and internal, both overwhelming her mind. Steve stood ready to fight, Tony and Rhodey before him. We don't need to do this, her mind screamed as she ran toward them. Her heart dropped knowing how it was going to end. As she prepared herself to stop them all Nahvalia felt something she'd not felt in almost two hundred years. The inexorable pull of the Bi-Frost allowing only for the brief glimpse of Steve as she shouted his name. She vanished in a brilliant flash of white.

The gathered men cast about for the girl or better yet the god whose presence that normally announced. Failing at finding either Tony spoke first, "Hand him over, Cap and we'll go look for her together."

Steve tensed, "Not gonna happen, Stark. Why would I need your help? You'd just want to stick her in a cage like Bucky."

"Steve, she didn't want us to fight," Rhodey said hoping for a peaceful resolution by using Nahvie's argument.

"I need her best friend to find her. Not those who want her prosecuted." Steve's voice was low and angry.

Asgard

Nahvalia looked around the room. Heimdal greeted her kindly, his eyes sad. "Welcome back, your Majesty. Long has Asgard missed your light."

"Nonononono." She whispered. "Heimdal, you must return me to Midgard." She would have continued but her mind was seized.

Loki emerged from the shadows behind her. "I'm afraid I cannot allow him to do that, Darling. We have need of you here." He chucked a finger to her chin. "Walk with me, my Queen." Her body turned and walked beside him.

"Your Majesty, you know I wouldn't have brought you here had I any other choice," Heimdal called after their retreating forms in explanation and apology.

Nahvalia allowed herself a brief moment of melancholy. Her team was fighting a bloody pointless battle. More than anything she wanted to be with them. She had a cold, dark suspicion she knew why Heimdal had brought her here. The stones. A larger more dangerous fight loomed in the future and none of them knew. She took stock of her current situation. Loki was in her mind and she had to get him out. She needed to get back to save Steve and Bucky from their current situation. Then prepare them all for the battle on the horizon. She swallowed her sorrow and resolved herself to the course of action. They made their way to the library.

"Greetings, Thor." Loki allowed her to use her own words to greet him politely. She nodded at Bruce, "Good to see you. We have been worried."

Thor pulled her in for a hug. "You seem unsurprised to be here, Nahvalia." He said softly.

"I am not surprised, merely disheartened." She spoke softly in turn.  
Thor frowned in question but she simply shook her head. No point in telling them. Not until she learned more about the current state of things. 

"Enough with the pleasantries, let us find the stones," Loki suggested with a smirk.

"Of course. Then Nahvalia can return to Midgard. Where she belongs." Thor answered shooting a suspicious look at Loki.

"We shall see my brother. We shall see" Loki said, again the smirk never leaving his face. In her mind, he answered, " You'll not be returning , my Darling. Your home is here. Bound by the agreement to be my queen."  
Her thoughts shots back at him, "I'm told the man to your left tossed you about like a peasant's rag doll when you made your foolhardy attempt to rule Midgard. I'm sure not very deep down he'd love to do it again."

"Cease you vile words, my Queen. By which I mean the Queen of Alfheim. Of course, you will also be the queen of Asgard once we are wed. That is my title now if you'd not guessed. The mad titan attacked your home realm first looking for the stones. Killed your parents for spite when they told him the truth. He doesn't know about you, though. Your parents hid that to the last. I know." He stepped very close to her his fingers grazing the full length of her arm and leaned into her ear to whisper in barely audible tones. "I know because I was there. Slit your mother's throat myself. I promised you I'd shut her up for you one day. I am a man of my word."

Nahvalia felt all sensation leave her body. If what he'd said was true Thanos had all but exterminated the Alfheimir. She had no control over her body to tell Thor or Bruce about their friends on Earth. Nor was she even sure Heimdal could send them to help. She couldn't mourn the loss of her parents right now. She shelved that for later. Stopping Thanos was priority number two. First, she had to get Loki out of her mind. That and avoiding his promise of torture.

"Finally thought your way around to that? I wonder which frightens you more, the beatings I could give you? Or the pleasure I can wring from your body?" His voice was back in her head and he'd stepped away. He allowed her head to turn so their eyes could meet. "Fear not, Darling. I am a man of my word." He reiterated. 

'Since you are here let us show you what we've learned." Thor said oblivious to the silent conversation they were having.

Somewhere over Europe

Steve knew the fight was far from over, it was just beginning. He set the autopilot and an alarm. He shifted carefully in the seat uncomfortably aware of injuries healing from the fight. He closed his eyes whispering a silent prayer for Nahvalia's safety. He knew he had an hour, yet sleep evaded him. A groan issued forth from the man in the seat to his right. Bucky considered Steve a long time before he spoke, "Look, Punk worrying about her isn't gonna bring her back sooner."

"Sure. And losing sleep over it isn't hurting anything. Maybe we've both had enough sleep."

"Maybe, but we need to stay focused. We've got enough to worry about without taking on what we can't help." Bucky's tone was compassionate.

"It would be better if she were here." Steve sighed.

"Life ain't ideal, Pal." Bucky scoffed. "If it were neither of us would be here."

Steve nodded. "True. But you are going to need her help getting all of the damage HYDRA did out of your head. It would be nice to have the backup too."

"This wouldn't be the kind of place I'd take our best girl to," Bucky said as the smile slid from his face.

"I"ve never been the kinds of places you take your best girl to, Buck." Steve sighed again trying not to think.

"You take your best girl up a tree in a hammock you've built together. You kiss her until she's almost blind. That never happened for either of you." Steve held himself still and listened. "She was always too..." Bucky groaned. "You guys are the..." He cut himself off mid-thought again.

Steve turned to face his best friend. "Come on, Buck. Spit it out already."

Bucky sighed,"You know for being two of the smartest people I know, you guys are awfully dumb sometimes. You guys have been standing in front of each other all along. You've been in love with each other the whole time. I don't know how serious you are about Carter. I don't know what else the two of you have been through together. But Jesus, Steve! You've known her for seventy years"

"Eighty-eight." Steve corrected him quietly.

"What?" Bucky asked confused.

"Eighty-eight years, Bucky. That's how long we've known her." Steve rubbed his forehead and ran a hand down the length of his face. "We're getting married in November. We decided not to tell you because we weren't sure how you'd take it." He said quietly.

"So you were going to let her go if I wanted her all to myself. She knew that and let you and me..?" He broke off too emotional to continue.

"She did it because she loves us. She's willing to let us be us with her. I love her. You love her. I want to marry her. I think I always have. Right now, you're right I need to focus on what is in Siberia, the others. We worry about that then we move on to the next. One problem at a time."

Buck nodded one piece of the puzzle in his life coming together. "Yeah. One thing at a time."

"But it would make it a whole lot better if she were here." With the face of his fiancee etched on the back of his eyelids Steve found a few minutes of rest.

Asgard

Nahvalia fumed silently locked within the confines of her own body. Loki had her old chambers made ready for her while they had been in the library, leaving her unable to say anything but the words he selected for her while he added spells to keep her pliant and contained to her rooms. Thor and Bruce had retired for the night and Loki had determined that would be best for her as well. He was escorting her there now. She would have told him how pointless all of it was, both the search and his company. She'd lived here before. She recalled the way. A serving girl opened and closed it behind them, leaving them alone. 

Loki receeded to the back of her mind, waiting. She could feel him lurking, searching her thoughts. Had she been focused on what was happening with herself, as opposed to the fight with Steve and Tony, Loki would not have the stranglehold on her mind or her will. He opened the door of her balcony allowing the scents of the flowers from her home world to flood the room.

"This, of course, will remain closed and locked when I am not here with you. For now, I allow you this indulgence. You have grown even more beautiful in your exile my dearest unfaithful bride to be." His voice slid over her like an oil slick.

"How are you here? Thor told me of your death. You could have asked him to tell me of this threat. There was no good cause to bring me here. I no longer wish to walk the halls of Asgard." She kept her poise. Losing her dignity before him would be a mistake. She had not missed this mental game of chess with him.

"You have been returned and I stand before you for a reason of a contract. A matrimonial agreement between you and I. You avoided it once. You shall not again."

"I offered you a choice, Loki. An opportunity to change your path and walk it with me. If things have not occurred according to the manner of your liking you have only yourself to blame. You come here to propose a signing of an agreement I refuse to acquiesce to. I've seemed to be finding a great deal of this in my life at present. If you've chosen to come and renew your threats against me, please leave. Otherwise, state your business and leave me in relative peace."

"Do not be tiresome, Nahvalia. We have been too much to each other for you to be so dismissive of me." He sighed as if weary. "It brings me much pleasure to see you here and well after so long, but I derive no joy in the thought you believe your vow to me null and void. More now so than ever you need to honor your promise to become my wife. I have escorted you here to assure you that your life does not need to be a gilded prison. I will forgive you all that has passed before if you but keep your word to me." He smiled indulgently at her.

Nahvalia stared at him nictating in astonishment. Had she heard him correctly? Was all of this just an added complication in an already intricate scheme? "Do you expect me to believe you? Are you out of your mind? Has the true scope of the damage and wrong you've inflicted on me escaped your notice? Or is it possible you are honestly that delusional? I am engaged to Steven, Loki. That is the reality now." Her words held glacial warmth.

"When you are quite finished with the theatrics I shall continue." He paused. Since she had remained silent he continued. "You are here now. I am the rightful king and given the state of things, it would be in your best interest to honor your promise. You are the queen of Alfheim now, my Darling. Your people will look to you to lead them."

She barked a laugh at him. "Loki, you have been a lot of things but I would never have pegged you for a fool. What you have said to me tonight is beyond foolish. Do you think I would wed a man who would murder my mother? That I could marry a man who threatened me?" Her flared nostrils and the lifted eyebrow were the only outward signs of her internal wrath.

"Mind your tongue woman. I do not take mocking lightly." Loki warned in a tight voice.

"I find your request beyond insulting." She answered in an icy hiss.

"You would be wise to consider the offer." The undertone of a threat unmistakable. "The fate of the Nine Realms falls under your responsibilities, not the fate of a mere one. You have your own realm to rule, in case you'd forgotten. The Nine would be better served by a guardian who remained attentive to her duties, as opposed to a belligerent child chasing after an infatuation." He locked the door to the balcony and left before she could retort.

She sat wearily after watching him make his exit. She acknowledged the truth of his words against the looming cosmic threat. She also appreciated the irony of Loki unbraiding her for the abandonment of sound reasoning and selfishness in the face of duty. Nahvalia drug herself to bed, her mind's burden having been increased dramatically.

 

Siberia

Emotional baggage was exhausting to carry with or without super soldier serum. Steve watched the toll it was taking on all of them. Tony had only come to try to help, Steve recognized that. He didn't deserve the pain of witnessing the death of his parents. Bucky's jaw was clenched, tears standing in his eyes. Bucky had endured torture enough here. He didn't deserve more of the same for something he could not have stopped. The fight that had followed had gained a dangerous momentum.

Tony lay on the ground, armor failing. Broken and bleeding he was still piling guilt on Steve. "My father made that shield." Steve stopped as moments of his life that had led to this moment passed before his eyes, ending with his dream of children on Nahvalia's farm. He dropped the shield silently asking Howard and Peggy for forgiveness. He resumed walking Bucky to the plane.

T'Challa secured Zemo. Seeing the Captain struggling under the burden of injuries and Bucky he moved to help as well. "I will convey you both to Wakanda. Our medical staff will assist with your friend."

"What about Zemo and Stark?" Steve asked as they gingerly settled Bucky into a seat, the latter groaning in pain.

"I will assist Mr. Stark. Your friend was remanded into my custody. I can hold him and no government can argue. I can offer you asylum as well."

"I appreciate that, your Highness," Steve said gratefully.

"I believe we can dispense with some of the formality. You may call me, T'Challa."


	30. Ambuscade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. 18+. Smut.

Asgard May 2016

Nahvalia started to wakefulness. Her eyes darting around the once familiar room. Her heart sinking all over again. She heard the low buzzing sound of whispered conversation. She rose from the bed to listen to their words.

"She's not to leave the rooms until she's properly dressed. He's commissioned an entire wardrobe for her. Said the future queen could not walk around in Midgardian attire. He has set a guard to keep her here until it's complete. He doesn't want anyone other than her maids to come or go. He's also had the preparations for the wedding started. He's coming personally to see her measurements taken."

"I heard she was exiled for madness."

"I heard she was sent away in grief that she wasn't chosen by Prince Thor." Nahvalia rolled her eyes and made her bed. Some things would never change, she thought. Even the gossip apparently. The maids fell silent at the sound of footfalls. She recognized the tread of one as Loki, the other remained a mystery. She tugged a dressing gown over the nightgown as these were the only clothes that she had. The maids had confiscated her hoodie and jeans while she'd been sleeping. Her hair was beginning to fall from the hasty bun she'd made it the day before. She sat in a chair as ready as she could be to face her visitors with dignity.

A fussy, thin man with a pinched face entered behind Loki. Loki looked disappointed she'd not been found in bed. "How long have you been up, my Love? The ladies assigned to you said you were still sleeping. Who tidied your chambers?" Loki used his most charming tone. Once she would have melted in response, now her stomach curled in revulsion.

"I've been awake for almost fifteen minutes. Long enough to hear the rumors, make my bed, and find you've remanded me to my chambers until a wardrobe can be completed." Her tone was even throughout even as the gray of her eyes darkened to purple. He took full possession of her mind again not trusting her words in front of the tailor.

"You really should have taken the night and used it to see reason, my Love." His voice hissed in her mind. All the while he held that indulgent expression her hands itched to slap from his face.

"You want reason? Return me to Midgard." She answered in her thoughts.

"I must beg your pardon for her state of dress. She's known for her reserved docile nature. She would be loathed to be seen in the obscene garments of Midgard. Between the stress of her return after such a long absence and the added worry of our upcoming nuptials, I believe her to be having an attack of nerves. Come here, my Darling." He held a hand out toward her. He compelled her body to rise. Her movement toward his, along with her saddened eyes and curled shoulders suggesting a soul in need of her lover's comfort. "There, there my pretty girl. Soon we'll be wed and you can rest your mind. Safe in the arms that have ever loved you." He had lifted her left hand and spied the tattoo for the first time. The hand that held hers tightened painfully. He allowed the breathy gasp and tears to stand in her eyes but not the grimace of pain. He smiled down at her looking for all the world like a man in love. Nahvalia read the truth in his eyes.

"I was told her eyes were gray, your Majesty. This will change the colors we've chosen for her new clothes." The weasely man spoke, his voice as thin and frail as he looked.

"No. Her Majesty's eyes are violet. Grey was the color of childhood. She is finally feeling for me what I felt for her for many years. She is to be dressed in either blue and ivory or green and black. Those are the colors of her house and mine." The man nodded emphatically.

"I will need her undressed to get the measurements." The man's fingers twined and released in nervousness and anticipation. The was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen and he was going to see her unclad. Loki did not trust the seamstresses. They had been close to his mother and future wife. She could use them to escape. He trusted his tailor. The man had known he wasn't Odin long before Loki had shared that knowledge with the rest of Asgard. Loki obliged the tailor's desires, he lifted the thin straps from her shoulders after removing her dressing gown. Loki pulled the straps along her arms allowing them to fall from his hands. The garment pooled at her feet with her modesty. The tailor's hands ran and measured the whole of her form. Loki looked on, a hungry vulpine expression on his face.

Nahvalia kept her thoughts still unwilling to let Loki use her shame against her. She erected a barrier between his mind and her decency. He tore it apart and smirked at her. She built another between his mind and her thoughts of Thor. He tore it apart almost violently and examined every memory she had of Thor, his eyes sparking with anger. It would be an arduous process and she couldn't afford to waste time. She carefully kept away from thoughts of those on Earth. They would be the first he would try to take from her. She also needed to worm her way into Loki's mind. She had to know what he was thinking in order to outsmart him. Discover what magic he was using against her to build the counter spell. Back to their old games. This was how she distracted herself as a stranger's fingers roamed her body, how she held her humiliation at bay. The first man to see her undressed was to have been her husband. She bit back her anger. Using it instead to fuel the slow process of boring into Loki's mind.

Asgard July 2016

Loki knew Thor and Banner would try to take her back. He knew Thor would try to visit her to see if she wished to remain or return to her beloved Steven. He sneered at the thought. He also knew she did not wish to stay. Whatever love she'd once had for him was withered at best. He could feel her worming her way into his thoughts. Of course, she would, and could. He would have been disappointed if she didn't try. She had never been far from his thoughts. Even when she had taken the knowledge of who she was from him. He loved her. He let her hear his thoughts. Yes, he had schemed for power. Yes, he had committed atrocities for it. He still loved her. Always had.

He left the throne he had longed for to go to the woman he burned for. He entered her apartments to find her reading a book of war. She looked up and for once he was pleased to find her eyes gray rather than the violent purple hue he'd made them. She marked her place and set the book aside with languid grace. She regarded him silently, her gaze unwavering and implacable. It was a test of purpose and resolve. Yet another game he was forcing her to play. He sighed and sat. It was futile to intimidate her physically. She knew he could force her to do as he wished. He longed for the love that once shone from her eyes. He also knew that would not happen should he opt to speak. Should he speak they would fight and her eyes would be back to that beautiful hated shade of amethyst. He could just sit there quietly in her presence under the weight of her stare until she grew disinterested and returned to her book.

"I've come to tell you I intend to woo you back." He watched her face and moved in her mind to gauge her reaction. Both were curiously blank. "I am aware you have feelings of affection for the soldier. Once those feelings were reserved for me. I want them back." He told her quietly.

Nahvalia exhaled wearily, her hands folded carefully in her lap. "Why, Loki? Do you do this for revenge or is it just part of the torment you swore?" Her voice little more than a sigh.

"Why must you always think the worst of me?"

"Not always. Once I was your greatest defender. Loki, there is simply just too much damage between us for things to ever be that way again. You have the chance to change. You can start by letting me leave. Happiness will find you if you'd just allow yourself to be free of the darkness. You do not have to remain in the shadows. You can use the throne and do the right things. Elevate yourself from this place of pain in which you wallow. It lies within you to do this but it starts by setting me free." Neither her tone nor its volume had altered.

"Why must you hold my actions against me? Why can you not find forgiveness for me within you? Why can you not try to love me once more?"

"I once held you in such high esteem I would have forgiven you anything. You spurned my love. Violated me in a place we both know I needed and killed my mother. You force me to stay here when the man I love is in danger. You will force me to marry you and you keep me in a cell. This is an act of war, Loki. Not a demonstration of affection." Still, her voice remained in hushed tones, her face devoid of expression.

"This is not how I wished our lives together to be, Darling. It was to have been filled with love, devotion, and peace." He watched her eyes darken to blue. She pitied him. This woman he controlled, threatened and kidnapped. He searched her mind and found the fragile framework of her love for him. Once, he recalled, it had seemed a sturdy fortress that could have withstood armies of assault. Had in fact. Now it resembled a spiderweb without a spider. Dusty. Weak. Forgotten.

He searched her mind angrily now finding her thoughts and feelings for the soldier. Here was the fortress, a bastion of granite and metal. He knew how much that love could withstand. How much she would do for the man she loved this much. He could throw everything he had at it and it wouldn't fail. Only the man himself could tear it apart. He left in a flurry of anger and pain.

 

Wakanda August 2016

Steve was speaking with T'Challa. Wanda could do much to help repair the damage done to Bucky's mind but her time in the Raft had damaged her as well. Since Nahvie had been taken Wanda had suffered greatly. Added to that was the loss of Viz who still saw the right of government control. Clint was doing all he could for the girl but his family had disappeared after his imprisonment and subsequent disappearance. Fury was trying to keep them in the loop but the added scrutiny of government agents had made this increasingly difficult.

There were other things Steve had reseasoned out as he thought about Nahvie's disappearance. It hadn't been Thor who took her but he would certainly know how to find her. When he came back he was most likely to return to New York and try to get to the compound. Nahvie's house would be his destination. He had to get to Thor before Tony did so Steve could get answers for Nahvie and explain what had happened with the team. "T'Challa, I need to get back home. I will keep a low profile and I'll take the phone so if something changes we can update each other. I just have to be there. I have to know."

T'Challa turned a sympathetic eye on the man he'd not only grown to admire but called a friend. "What if she never returns?"

"That will be an answer of its own."

Asgard August 2016

Nahvalia had been here for three months. She'd marked the days much like a prisoner did. The last week had signaled the confirmation of her worst fears. The maids had been adding things to her baths to polish her skin to flawless perfection. They had been practicing makeup on her face of varying degrees of amount or color. They took hours each morning styling her hair. All while dressed in nothing more than a slip and dressing gown she endured this so Loki could enter as her breakfast was served and tell them what needed to be changed with her appearance. 

They roused her early this morning, succeeding at last to catch her sleeping. She was bathed, shaved and preened. Her hair elaborately plaited and curled. Her beauty rivaling any of Asgard's other queens. She donned the last of her accouterments and was paraded out. She watched the ceremony as if it were happening to someone else. She knelt as she was bid beside Loki. He knew he could not compel her words this day as it would serve only to give her cause to claim the ceremony invalid later. She turned her attention to the man presiding over the ceremony, her lips curling into a small half smile. She couldn't focus on what she intended or Loki would know.

Nahvalia knew this was her chance, her words of the oath in a binding spell. She chose her words carefully, hiding her intentions from him by not thinking of what she was swearing. She wet her lips when her spell had been completed.

Loki's thoughts had been distracted while she spoke. He was silently relieved she had put up such meager resistance. He was overjoyed by the knowledge she had stopped picturing that damned Captain every day. Her thoughts on the battlefield and preparations for war as befitted his queen. When his turn came he swore his oaths to her allowing the ceremony to be completed. "At last, I have you." He thoughts at her triumphantly.

"Don't bet on it." She thought back.

He led her to the floor for a dance. She smiled with effortless joy, moving with unerring elven grace. Loki puzzled over her words and the incomplete feeling of the oath in his chest. He leaned in to kiss her and saw her hesitate briefly. He smirked at her before lowering his mouth to hers gently. He was surprised by her pragmatism, her strength. He underestimated her intelligence. She'd grown on Earth and he'd missed it.

"What was the meaning of the words you used, my Love?" He hissed in her ear.

"I fear what you'll do when I am gone. These people will bear the aftermath of your rage. I do not see Thor or Bruce here. I think you sent them away while you did this. Afraid they would try to stop you. You were never fit to rule." He struck her face with a viper's speed. She worked her jaw as the guards rushed to them.

"Take her-," Loki started and stopped. She was now the queen of Asgard. He couldn't arbitrarily have her imprisoned because she'd upset him. She now had power equal to his own and he had assaulted her in front of all the nobility of Asgard. A woman they remembered as Loki's beloved from long ago. He amended what he had intended to say. "Take her to her chambers, I lost control of my temper. I do not wish to do any further harm to my most treasured queen."

The charming demeanor and concerned words placated the assembled guests with the exception of three: Sif, Heimdal, and the man who had performed the ceremony. The first knew something was off when Nahvalia had returned and not been seen outside of her rooms. Sif knew she wasn't one to stay perpetually indoors. Heimdal knew the new queen had not wanted to wed Loki in the first place and had done something to upset the king's plans. The latter knew something had been amiss at the words the new queen had sworn. He could now see why. As she was being escorted from the room she passed him. "Well played, my Queen. Your mother would have been proud."

Nahvalia looked closely at the man. His hair was pale. He was tall and wiry, much like her father had been. A half-elf. "I look to those already with me," she said quietly as they passed.

She heard his reply before the doors had closed. "Always ready to follow, my Queen." She smiled to herself as they took her back to her rooms. 

She was not surprised when they locked the doors behind her. She was surprised she'd been left with two of her maids. They undressed her from the lavish gown. She asked for it to be laundered and saved, a gesture the maids thought was sweet and endearing. Nahvalia smiled to herself as she climbed into bed. He would want to see the dress she'd married him in.

New York City

Steve hugged her pillow to his face, the barest hint of her perfume remained. He swallowed, attempting to loosen the tightness in his throat. Three months. She'd been gone for three months. He threw himself back on her bed giving himself a moment of weakness. He remembered what it felt like when he'd first woken in New York. The confusion, the hurt, and the guilt. This was worse. Peggy was dead. Bucky was alive but in real need of help. His team had become fugitives. He'd lost his shield and Nahvie was gone. He sighed heavily and sniffed. He stood and went to the liquor cabinet knowing she'd kept a bottle for Thor. He got a glass and settled on the couch to watch her favorite movie.

Shelley was in the graveyard when he woke. It felt as if Nahvie was there. As if Bucky were there. A warm glow emanated from his heart for several long moments. It faded but never left. He turned off the movie and walked the whole house just to be sure she wasn't home. As expected, but still disappointing, she was still absent. He returned to the living room to clean up the remains of his pity party. He readied himself for bed, heart a little lighter than before. He went to her room and took his spot on the left side of the bed. She wasn't home yet but it wasn't for lack of trying. Whatever she'd done tonight was bringing that time closer.

Asgard 

The opening of the door was not a shock to Nahvalia nor was the person stalking angrily toward her. She sat up and waited for the green eyed man to start screaming. His voice was deathly cold when it came. "Your words. They've bound you to him even as the eyes of Asgard view you as my wife and queen. You gave him your vows of eternal love and devotion as you take my kingdom from me." He towered over her.

She set her feet on the floor, her back to him, and rose pulling on a dressing gown over the night dress. She walked to where he stood shaking with rage. "Of course I did. You brought me here against my will. After everything you've done I had to do something to escape marriage to you and stop further damage to this kingdom. You gave me the opportunity to save myself. Yes, Loki, I made my vows to persons other than yourself." She stood before him arms at her sides not inciting violence but expecting it.

Loki looked down to the face he once, no, still loved and saw her view of himself. "You've done it again. You've twisted me around your fingers and I know not how." He glared at her. "You've twisted my heart in circles and you care naught."

"No, Loki. You turned my heart in those same circles long ago. You need to accept that now. You broke my heart many times over. What you feel now pales in comparison to what I felt that day. So do what you have to or leave. I won't betray the people of Asgard. I'll protect them from you with my last breath. As for you, I forgive you." She whispered quietly as she turned to go back to bed. "My Loki died years ago. You are a mere fragment of the one I loved."

His hand shot out grabbing her upper arm and spun her to face him. "I could take you now. Force you to make sounds of enjoyment, my lovely little wife." He hissed mere inches from her face.

She swallowed, her eyes blue once more. "You've already raped my once, Loki. To do it for real would take away any chance of redemption you have left to you."

"You are a spiteful, vengeful woman, Nahvalia. I wish you'd never come here." He spat and left her room. For the first time in a very long time, they agreed on something. She laid back down in bed trying not to cry silently asking Frigga for forgiveness.

For two long months, the queen of Asgard had nothing more to do than writing and thinking. No one recognizing what a dangerous preoccupation that would be. Loki was frequently absent, missions for Thanos consuming much of his time. Nahvalia was left to rule Asgard on her own. She had Sif organizing training for everyone.

"Why are you doing this? You could have fled." The tall dark haired woman had asked when Nahvie suggested training.

Nahvie gave Sif a wry half smile, "War is coming, Sif. These people need to know how to fight. I don't run and someone has to lead these people until the right king returns to take my place."

Sif smiled back, "Perhaps I was much too judgemental of you in the past."

"We all make mistakes, my friend. I apologize for being such a difficult person." Nahvie's smile grew as she spoke.

"As you said, we all make mistakes." Sif had left but there was a slight spring in her step when she did.

Nahvie was walking through the gardens where the flowers of her homeland were planted when she received Heimdal's summons. She had been told to arrive alone so she asked a horse to be saddled and left her escort behind. "Great Heimdal, you asked for me. How may we avert misery?" She asked with a kind smile.

"My Queen, I wish to apologize to you. I should not have brought you back after all these years. You were happy and fulfilled." He lowered his head in shame thinking of the many times he and Frigga had found joy over her new happy life.

"Heimdal, you have nothing to apologize for. You have orders and honor to uphold. Your allegiance with Asgard remains. I do not hold you responsible. This was Loki's doing. You are blameless, guardian. Do not carry the weight of this guilt."

"Yet I do. With the King absent, however, I can make small amends." He told her quietly.

"Yes?" She asked, her whole being concerned with setting the golden eyed man as ease.

"I can give you one night, my Queen. Loki shall return on the morrow and I know why you stay. But this night I can grant you safe passage within two hours and he will never know you've gone."

The words took time for her to process. "You can send me back for tonight?"

"Yes, my Queen. In two hours. If I were you I'd dress for the occasion. It is October and a month early but you should tell him." Heimdal smiled. He watched happily as some of the girl she used to be returned. She clapped her hands and danced in place, face lit with joy. She dared to even kiss his cheek in gratitude as she raced to her horse to make ready. Heimdal watched her go, a bittersweet smile on his face. He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat as he raised a small glass of whiskey. "My gift to you Queen Frigga, for your birthday."

Her maids were surprised with her request. she was bathed, oiled and primped to perfection. They stood back and admired her radiance, she looked better than she had on her wedding day. She glowed with luminescence. A carriage returned her to Heimdal who smiled knowingly with approval. "He will be overjoyed to see you." He said offering her a hand out and escorting her to the Bi-Frost.

"Heimdal, I give you my deepest gratitude." She told him as he readied his sword.

"No, my Queen. I give you mine for your forgiveness."

She raised her hand to her forehead as the dizziness passed. She took in the differences of spring and autumn in the trees. She had missed her home. She lifted her shirts in her hands and made her way inside. The air inside slightly stale. She looked around the interior, clean and dust free. She smiled inwardly, poor guy must be bored. She looked up the stairs knowing he was there. She hesitated, nervous about his reaction. She took the stairs carefully, gracefully as years of training, months of doing and the weight of the garment demanded. She opened the door of her room and watched him sleep. She decided to wait to give him a measure of peace. She returned downstairs and made herself a drink. She would need the extra courage for what she was about to do. 

The liquor wasn't as potent but she had lost weight while she'd been away. It hit her quickly. She tried to ignore the trembling of her hand as her mind lost itself in the details. She swallowed hard in thought. The same thought he found her in.

He had heard a stirring. Caught the hint of perfume in the dream, The light downstairs alerting and confirming someone else was there. Steve was cat-quiet and chary as he made his way down the stairwell to spy on the intruder. He didn't immediately recognize her. How could he? He'd never seen her like this. Her hair had been curled and caught in a net to cascade down her back fetchingly when her husband undressed her. The gown left the length of her back bared to the touch. The nobs of her spine visible through her skin. The sleeves belled from her elbows to her ankles. The skirts wide allowing them to flare from her when dancing yet doing little to conceal the enticing stretch of leg beneath when at rest. The white of her gown was even perfectly her. It was by turns pale shades silver, blue, pink, or lavender in the light. He cleared his throat. She jumped and turned.

She took in the details. He was tired from both lack of sleep and the weight of concern. He had been wary when she first made eye contact. His arms crossed over his chest, he was certainly not happy with her even as the smile spread over his lips. "Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey back," he noticed the drink first knowing she'd been here and let him sleep. The kindness both endearing and infuriating. He grabbed a bottle of water and prepared to wait.

She swallowed audibly. Yes, he was happy to see her. Steve was overjoyed but the Captain wanted answers and the longer she made him wait the more cutting would be the response. She started with all of her usual grace and tact. "Loki kidnapped me because of the stones and my knowledge of them. My family was murdered. There's a really big bad guy making his way to Earth and I married you and Bucky about two months ago on another realm." she closed her mouth and thought about each word and nodded in satisfaction. Yup, she thought, I told him everything. She took a drink and waited for him to say something.

"How long have you been here?" He asked authoritatively.

She took another drink, "About an hour and a half. You were tired. Looked like you could use the rest. I have all of tonight before I have to go back."

"Wait. You're going back?" Steve was incredulous. He couldn't even articulate his feelings at the moment. He was tempted to strangle her as badly as he wanted to kiss her.

"Yeah. I have to go back. I mean yeah Loki knows we aren't married but the people of Asgard don't. They think I'm queen and until I know they are safe from him I have to stay. There's a lot I need to fill you in on and very little time to do it. There's also the matter that you and I are married that I think needs some discussion. You are kind of a king now. You also need to tell me what happened after I was taken and where is Bucky?" Steve didn't give her all of the gory details. He told her about the prison and the break with Tony. He told her about Bucky and Wakanda. He told her about the damage done to Wanda.

She told him about the presence of Loki in her mind and Thanos. She told him about the wedding. "How could you marry us if we weren't there? And Both of us?" He asked finishing the water and thinking she'd had the right idea with the drink.

"My people use words for spells. So an oath sworn is magically bound. We swear to someone very specific things when we wed and are bound by them. It's much more complicated than that but I'm sure I can explain it better once this mess is fixed." She had taken the ornamentation from her hair it flowed around her, curls irritating her for remaining. "This is my wedding gown. Thought you might want to see it." Nahvalia gestured at the length of it.

Steve nodded, "Very pretty. Want to give us a spin?" She stood and twirled once. "Did you dance?" He asked after a long moment. She nodded and held up a single digit, teeth digging into her bottom lip. He ran a hand down the length of his face stopping at his mouth and nodded.

"I know this isn't the way of this was supposed to go. I couldn't marry him, Steve. I couldn't. Not after what he's done. I don't love him. I love you."

"So you married both of us." He said it and made it a statement. Oh, how she hated this tone of voice from him. It conveyed and hid so much. It could have been angry or disappointed or even proud. Now she had to guess what was going on in his head in order to not upset him more or not to upset him at all. Her mind ached from the mental games. She played those with Loki, not the man she loved.

"Because I love you both. It isn't legal here but it is there and now both of you are married as well. Because life isn't fair. Because I love you both too much to make you chose. I refuse to lose either of you again to space or time. You are mine." Nahvie lowered her head, her face was hidden by the curtain fall of silver white hair. She closed her eyes as the breath stuttered in her chest fighting back tears. She swiped at her eyes and found breath. 

He'd had enough. He tossed back the rest of her drink to halt any further excuses and wash the glass setting it aside to dry. He didn't want that damn dress anywhere near her bedroom either. Someone else had stood beside her that day. Someone else had heard her words of promise even if they hadn't been directed at him. It had been another who saw her on a day meant only for them. He dropped the cloth from her body and picked her up. He halted her words with his mouth. He didn't move, effectively communicating if she wanted more she would shut up and accept this. When she stilled he carried her up the stairs. He set her on her feet and removed the rest of her clothes. She stood frozen, a reaction he was unused to. When Bucky was speaking and moving long before they'd reached this point.

He wrapped an arm around her refusing to leave her vulnerable and naked in the center of her room. He undressed while attempting to cradle her to him, making it a slow awkward process. His words were whispered and soothing. He stopped himself every minute to ensure she knew what was going on. She still hadn't actively checked in so he held her to him and prayed her breath would match his in sleep. Lifting her once more he snuggled blankets around her and closed his eyes.

Breath returned to her once more in a heated rush. A frown creasing her forehead. She had come all this way and he was going to sleep, she thought indignantly. She rolled coming up to an elbow and poked him in the chiseled perfection that was his chest. "What the hell are you doing?" She asked hotly.

"Going to sleep. You didn't move or say anything. I wasn't sure what you wanted or which pj's you liked and I damn sure wasn't going to leave you standing there. It's October, Nahvalia. You could get sick." He sounded as if he were explaining something to a child.

"You are not going to sleep." She told him firmly.

"Then what am I going to do?" He asked without opening his eyes. She answered by pressing her lips to his.

"It isn't official until I am no longer a virgin."

"Are you sure?" He asked quietly.

She growled in frustration and raised a palm to her forehead. " Steven Grant Rogers, I swear you can be the most infuriating individual I've ever met. Yes, I am sure. I dressed for just this purpose. Now would you please use your mouth for something other than pissing me off?" She had moved closer to glare down at him. 

He raised an eyebrow at her a wry smirk playing about his lips, his eyes still maddeningly closed. "Well, I could make you tell me exactly what you want. I mean I want your first time to be perfect." He settled his hands behind his head and opened an eye to watch her nostrils flare. "I could also plead a headache. Actually, I'm not sure I'm in the mood to have sex with an angry woman." He carefully fought back the bark of laughter at her angrily glittering eyes.

He lifted his head slowly pressing a kiss to the thin irate line of her mouth, arms enfolding her before rolling her beneath him. "Oh, did you decide you were in the mood to join the party?" She snapped.

"Stanton...," he sighed in warning.

"No. Rogers." She corrected deliberately.  
That drew a smile from him. "Well, like you said not officially." He nuzzled her nose with his own, lips brushing hers and feeling her smile. He kissed her softly feeling her lips moving under his almost shyly like they had the first time they'd done this. He moved his forearms under her to cradle her to him. His mouth exploring her neck and collarbone, reacquainting himself after their long absence. He marked the clarity of her ribs at the top of her chest and made a note to scold her about that later. Her hands traced the broad planes of his back, her small handers a sharp difference from Bucky's far larger stronger hands. He forced those thoughts from his mind, intent now on learning how to draw pleasure from his wife's petite frame. His heart swelled and he fought back all thoughts of urgency. His wife. At long last, Nahvalia Stanton was Nahvalia Rogers, his wife.

Nahvie's mind was awash with sensation. His mouth on her body pulling forth breathy cries of pleasure as it moved lower down her body. Her chest felt heavy as her nipples hardened as his exploratory laps and kisses. He sucked one into the warm recess of his mouth and every question of why she'd been born a girl were immediately answered. Her hips jutted off the bed involuntarily as she moaned his name. She felt him chuckle as her reaction, a salty response readied on the tip of her tongue when his swirled around the taut peak in his mouth driving it from her mind.

He continued down her body, arms still cradling her to him. He wanted her to know how much he loved her. Wanted this to be special, perfect for her. They had waited so damn long. His quickly hardening length found the valley of her legs, his breath hitched at the feeling of her silken thighs. His mouth moved over her stomach, he frowned again at the sight of sharp ribs beneath her skin. He circled her belly button with his tongue, she whispered his name in a plea. He did it again with the same result and a added shiver. He filed that away for future use.

His mouth at her hip drove the air from her lungs. His tongue over the sensitive heated flesh inflaming her to greater desire. His arms cradling her to him held her hips still as his fingers taunted her skin as badly as did his mouth. The weight of him adding to her limited mobility as his mouth mapped her navel. His tongue dipped into the cleft of her thighs. Heat pooled at her entrance. Her breath audible through her teeth. Her hands closing on his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. she no longer exhaled, breath left her with cries of praise or pleas for more.

The smell of her arousal drove him wild. It was impossible for him to catalog. It was simply Nahvie and she was intoxicating. He shifted kneeing her legs apart to settle between her thighs. He couldn't wait much longer. Her body alone had him hard and almost high. The knowledge he was her first brought a fresh wash of blood to throb painfully in his length. He lapped at her lower lips, the taste of her flooding his senses. A needy cry drew his attention from the heat of her core. A delicate sheen of sweat covering her stomach. He gave a brief smile of pride and returned his attention to her folds.

Her wet heat welcomed him with tantalizing tastes and smells. He made sure he tasted each part of the soft intimate skin. A hidden nub waited for his attention, he circled it with his tongue, flicked it, before wrapping his lips around it to suck gently. He watched her skin flush, heard her cries become wordless sounds. Her hands opened and closed on his shoulders signaling him she was ready. He made his way back to her mouth. 

Her lips were hungry on his. No thought in her head but those of him. The finger that entered her had her mouth open for him to plunder. she moved her hips on his digit with abandon, made only worse when the second entered. She separated their mouths long enough to give him a desperate searching look of pleading.

"This is going to hurt. Are you sure?" Her frantic and nodded and subsequent growl was enough. He eased inside of her with a groan. Dear heavens she was tight. Her eyes had flown open as a whimper left her mouth. He stilled inside her. He caught the scent of blood and gave her time to heal the breach. He kissed her shoulders in apology.

"I'm okay," she whispered into his chest after a moment. Her lips there over naked skin combined with the grip and heat of her around him were almost his undoing.

He moved slowly at first each languid thrust making her moan into his mouth. Her eyes had fluttered shut, her mouth fell open as she gasped for breath. She covered his chest with small, wet kisses. He had increased the depth and speed of his movements as the excitement grew. The slapping sound of skin meeting skin and pleasured gasps filled the room. She cried out lustily as she fragmented around him. He groaned into her shoulder when release found him not long after. He pulled himself from her warmth to lay beside her. He held her close her head pillowed on his shoulder both bonelessly relaxed.

"So that's what all the fuss is about." She sighed kissing the wall of his chest.

"I hope it was worth the wait." He said smiling. She rolled closer an arm coming to rest over his midsection. He felt he sigh again. "It was worth it?" He asked looking down at her.

She tipped her head up. "I crossed galaxies for it," she answered softly, kissing his jaw. It was his turn to sigh. She couldn't stay. He could see the logic, felt the correct action of her choices. The team needed to prepare. They had to get Bucky fixed and quickly. Tony had to be told. That wasn't what he wanted. Steve wanted to stay right here and make love to her repeatedly. His teeth clenched in frustration.

"Hey now. That is not the face you should be making after that." She teased from his side. He snaked an arm under her to cup her hip, the other pulling her over him. The soft weight of her settled on him, her legs dropping to the side. Her hair fell from her back tickling both of them. He felt her shiver, a result of the motion and answered with one of his own. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders for more reasons than he could name. To pull her closer, sure but mostly because it was real. He smiled at her noting her arms held tightly as her sides to preserve her modesty. Her thumbs brushed his jaw, her palms hugging his cheeks. Her tongue peeked from her lips, her blue-violet gaze had not wavered from his lips.

"And you need to wipe that sinfully beautiful look off of your face, Rogers before I have to have you again." She giggled, hiding her face in his chest. "Seriously, we need to talk and you need to eat. They don't feed you there?" His voice had dropped an octave and had grown commanding.

"Oh geez, Steve. Yeah, they feed me but I've had other things on my mind." She told him about training and her plan for the Alfheimir. He listened and kept his thoughts from his expression. He hated that she would be leaving, that she would be fighting and he wouldn't be at her side. He watched the eyebrow raise and a knowing look come over her face. 

"I thought you said he'd disrupted your ability to get into my head," he said.

"He did. I just know that look, Rogers. I know you too well." She replied fingers rising from his cheeks to smooth the creases from his brow. He took her hand and kissed the palm, fingers curling around her hand after.

"How much time do we have?" He asked, his tone suggesting so much more than the words he'd chosen.

"Tonight," she answered. They both felt the sorrow of not being able to swear forever. She rested her forehead on his, their eyes closed as they made peace with the truth. After long moments he moved his lips over hers taking her slowly. They rose after. She threw the soiled sheets into the washer before joining him in the shower. He dried and dressed, leaving her under the water to finish. He picked her dress from the floor, considering the fabric. He threw it into a bag and carried it out to the garbage can. Dusting his hands he made her a silent promise. No matter how much longer they had to wait he would marry her properly in the ceremony she wanted. He returned inside and washed his hands. He handed her a bottle of water and a plate of vegetables while he ate a sandwich. They talked forming a plan together. They made love three more times. They took a bath together. He kissed her, a long slow deep kiss to last until he saw her again. She resisted the urge to cry as she called Heimdal. With a brilliant flash of light, he stood in the driveway alone.


	31. Avowal

Steve was roused from sleep by the doorbell. Half of him wanted to ignore it. To shut out the reality where Bucky was back in cryo and Nahvie had gone back to Loki. It rang again. Steve groaned, pulling himself from the warmth of the bed where his and Nahvie's scents mingled to pad barefoot to the door. A strange, dark-haired man stood unsmiling at him on the porch. 

"Hi," Steve rasped with a sleep-roughened voice, "Can I help you?"

"Yes. My name is Stephen Strange, and I am here to help you. Nahvalia asked me to come." The stranger said by way of explanation. Steve stepped aside in a silent invitation to enter. He made a pot of coffee and gave the doctor a cup of tea. He listened to the man's explanation of what needed to happen next. Steve tried not to choke on his coffee.

"You want to pull him out of cryo, bring Wanda back here and break into Stark labs? How are we going to do that without getting arrested?" Steve asked calmly. "Three of the people you are suggesting we do this with are wanted criminals, and Tony is working for the government. You want Captain America. I'm not that guy anymore."

"I have that covered. I just need you to call the king of Wakanda and tell him we'll be there in an hour." Strange answered finishing his tea.

"In an hour?" Steve asked, with more than a hint of disbelief. "Why in an hour?"

"You don't want to do this in your pajamas, do you?" Strange asked reasonably. 

Steve acknowledged Strange was right and returned to take care of the morning's necessaries. He returned to the kitchen to call T'Challa, alerting him of Steve's return and the accompanying guest. T'Challa told him they looked forward to his return.

Steve turned to Strange, "Alright, let's do this," he watched as the doctor gestured and a portal appeared. Steve shook his head. He would never get accustomed to such things. He stepped through with the doctor.

 

January 2017 Asgard

She washed the sick taste from her mouth out in the basin. Her breath shaky, skin clammy. Loki had been absent or avoiding her for days. She needed a second opinion and some damn reassurance. This cannot be. She refused to even give the suspected condition words in her own head. Loki had seen to her gifts being sealed away. She still hadn't found a way to get them back. Loki was maintaining distance to ensure that. 

She had foregone the assistance of maids as soon as Loki started disappearing overnight. Nahvie dressed, silently cursing herself and Loki for not having prepared for such a thing. Admittedly, Loki had only taken her abilities, he hadn't seen this coming. She should have known better and taken precautions. In her defense, it had been with Steve and all they'd ever wanted.

Whatever Loki was up to was big. Nahvie needed her powers back. She needed to be home. She wanted Steve. Nahvie considered her options and went with the one that made the most sense, given the circumstances. With her mouth set in a grim line to ward off tears, Nahvie went in search of Sif. She told Sif where she was going, then she went to Heimdal.

The dizziness of travel passed as she stood in the burnt circle of ground. Nahvie made her way to the palace. The changes both breaking her heart and warming it. Her parents home looked empty as if after their passing the people had made a shrine of it. The small town outside of the palace looked mainly deserted as well compared to the way she remembered it. Her people had never been as plentiful as the Asgardians and paled in comparison to human replication. She counted a bare handful of her own even as she passed through the town.

Her mind recoiled in horror, the responsibilities too long neglected by a people she'd been born to serve. Nahvie walked through the center of the place not noticing the growing crowd behind her. The din of loss and devastation to her people too loud in her head to see. Nahvalia had to force open the heavy doors to the palace with her own hands. It was the mutterings of the crowd when she, at last, got them open that drew her attention to the amassed crowd of terrified elves.

She surveyed them in trepidation. Not knowing how to address them. Nahvie knew she lacked her mother's warmth and her father's gift for a turn of phrase. She had come here for answers and to tell them the war was coming. Demand them fight for her then realized she was as foreign to them as they were to her. Yet another thing to regret, Nahvie thought, ruefully. Adding to the already heavy burden of guilt she carried.

Nahvie felt more than heard the Watcher behind her. In truth, this was why she'd come and yet looking at the people who stood staring at her Nahvie knew she had a greater responsibility. She stilled herself before addressing her people. Her eyes closed then blazed open, clear and gray for her people, "Alfheimir, my people. You may not know me. I am Nahvalia Ja'Darehn, the only child of Roran and Octavia. I was sent to Asgard to wed a prince and thus did not know of the damage to my people." She took in the grousing along with a few nods. She took another breath and prepared an argument.

"Believe what you will of me. I have not given you any cause or reason to refute such thoughts you may have about me. You are correct if you perceive I've failed you in the past." She allowed these conciliatory words to find fertile soil, "I have failed you, in a way my father never did. He knew each of you by name. Asked after your children. He did his duty as your king admirably. He will be remembered for doing so," she didn't stop her voice from cracking at the end. She paused to let them reason that out as she was finding this hard to continue. Thoughts of her father threatened to overwhelm her. She collected herself and moved forward.

"As one of the Alfheimir, I cannot fail to warn you of the dangers we face as a people. What happened here was an act of war. The first step Thanos is taking against the Nine. This is a threat we have promised to help eradicate." She suspected Loki's involvement would be acknowledged as well. "I have lived away from Asgard for over a century in exile. No, I do not know all of your tribulations, how could I? You do not know mine. Today, I come not with a simple warning but to tell you this harbinger of war will come again. He comes to take the universal essences and use them as weapons. I am asking you to help me in this fight. Not demand or order you to follow. The Realms lie in dire need for our people to make good on a promise we made them. I implore you to aid in the coming fight. Then, maybe, allow me to take my place as heir of Alfheim." 

She fell silent, nothing more to say. The Watcher had stepped up beside her and took her hand. The Alfheimir were a quiet people yet they rewarded her humility with loud applauding and cheers. The Watcher led the queen inside the palace and closed the heavy doors before the people saw her collapse on the floor.

"Greetings, Ing," Nahvie bowed respectfully after rising from the floor. This being had counseled her father and grandfather. "I am relieved to find you well following the wrath of the mad titan."

"I merely observe, your Majesty. To kill a Watcher would be madness, even for one such as he."

"I have come with a request to intervene on my behalf. Not in the coming war but on my immediate behalf. I think myself with child," she couldn't keep the tremor from her voice as she readied herself to explain the situation. "I am not able to check for myself as Loki has sealed much of my power away. I only wish to ensure the sex of my child is male. I do not wish to pass this burden onto another female child. It is too much power with far too little control."

She took a deep, steadying breath that failed to provide relief. Her hands ran down the length of her thigh as she dried the sweat from her palms. She cleared her throat,"I fear I allowed the fate of my people, my parents, to happen because I let emotion cloud my judgment. Please tell me this child isn't a girl. That's all I wish to know."

"It is not,"Ing answered, refusing to illuminate further. To do so would be meddling. Ing watched Nahvie's shoulders slump and exhale both in relief and regret. Once, long ago and even more recently, Nahvie had imagined the beautiful daughter she and Steve could have raised together. She squared her shoulders as she struggled with placing this burden on a child of either gender. She reconciled herself with the knowledge it was a boy who would inherit a throne. It gave him more choices and freedom. Ing watched the rare gathering of a queen's tears shed. She swiped them away with hasty disregard.

"All will be as it must then,"Nahvie nodded her satisfaction and called to Heimdal. Ing watched her leave, noting that she hadn't pushed him to give her answers she possibly did not want to know. She had come asking a question she could have gained answers for herself, had she had access to her abilities. He considered her again as she left her realm.

She knows the path that lies before her, Ing thought. She just does chooses to not admit it. Ing acknowledged both her caution and propriety. He watched the night fall, stars twinkling in the heavens. Ing knew a war was on the horizon. He had seen it waged in her eyes.

 

New York January 2017 

Nick Fury once again sat at a table with a recalcitrant Steve Rogers. Only this time it had been at Rogers request and Fury lacked leverage. Nick had no clue where Barnes was or the rest of Cap's team for that matter, and Peggy was gone. Tony remained ambivalent about a reconnection and Stanton had disappeared as completely as Thor and Banner. Frustration wasn't a new emotion for Fury, but right now he was feeling it at an unprecedented level. Most people Fury came into contact with were complacent but Rogers had an irritating habit of being not.

"Just bring the team back from wherever you've stashed them and we'll talk to Stark together," Fury suggested for the third time.

Steve gave yet another exasperated sighed and said shortly, "You know why I can't."

"What I know is why you don't want to," Fury shut his mouth over words he wanted to say. He watched Steve equivocate and refused him the opening. "Steve, I understand what I'm asking here, but if we can't get the band back together everything goes south. It isn't happening on my watch and it damn sure isn't happening on yours." Fury leaned back and let the words sink in.

Steve held his head in his hands. He'd told Fury so he could get the team prepared, not because he was willing to go back. Too many things had happened for him to jump back on the bandwagon. He had lost every reason he had to go back to SHIELD. Nahvie's house was quiet, peaceful. He'd even started the garden they had been discussing before she'd been taken.

"Do you honestly think she'd go to all of that risk to give you that warning and not expect you to help?" Fury growled at him in a last ditch effort to guilt him.

Anger stirred in Steve's chest, "Don't say another word like that. Who else was she going to tell? You? You sent her an email and hung her out to dry with those damn Accords, Nick! That's on you. The Registration Act passed because you chose to lurk in the shadows playing dead. I'm staying right here. She'll know where to find me when she needs my help." Steve stood and left, leaving Fury with the uncomfortable feeling of fear and the unknown.

 

Asgard March 2017

Loki's plans were going terribly awry. He longed to vent his frustration on the very cause of his pain, yet was terrified she'd regain her powers within moments and leave him. It was her fault all of this had happened in the first place, his mind hissed at him repeatedly. He strode to her rooms knowing she was locked in sleep.

He tossed back the curtain surrounding her bed, watching the moonlight play over delicate elven features. Her face in repose bringing a level of calm to his heart, even as it saddened him. She never relaxed anymore. Even now he could see the tension she'd lacked in earlier years and he shouldered the blame for her pain entirely, his fault it marked her beautiful face.

"You could just tell her you love her," an unfamiliar voice suggested kindly in his mind. It was the voice of a child, a very small one at that. 

Loki's eyes drifted closed as his mind pulled to the forefront the kinder, sweeter days of childhood. Before he'd bruised her heart. The open smiles of youth's first kiss etched upon his eyelids in shame. He had betrayed her. She couldn't -shouldn't- forgive him. 

His eyes opened once more as his eyes drank in the sight of her while he could do so at will and unobserved. His gaze faltered at the swell beneath the blankets at her middle. His mind screamed denial even as it searched for confirmation of the truth. The questions that assaulted him from within were almost as daunting as those from without. The children growing inside her had his mind recoiling. They were brilliant! Self-aware and so achingly hers. Their questions were gentle things, interspersed with words of kindness, curiosity, and encouragement. Why couldn't she speak to them? They asked kindly. Followed by what was she like? Who was he?

Loki sat down hard on the bed in shock. These were the questions their children should have been asking that they answered together. Loki opened his mouth to reply, he looked at her and for the first time realized that he didn't know her. He'd banished her. Taken away her life and she'd still managed to create her own destiny, her own life. As much as he hated it, she demanded his respect. Inside of her grew two small boys who were confused, yet fearless. Loki started with guilt once more as he recognized he was taken them from her as well. He locked her within the confines of her own mind. She couldn't even communicate with her children. Something that was the birthright of the Alfheimir.

He swallowed hard before he responded to her children, still torn by the decisions that lay in front of him. "She's beautiful. Kind. Loving. Intelligent. All the things a mother should be," Loki restrained the sorrow he felt from his thoughts as he 'spoke' to Nahvalia's sons. "You will love her when you come to know her. Life has been difficult for her and her job is not an easy one. Yet I know she will think you two will have made every trial worthwhile."

"Tell us about our father," one queried.

Loki longed to tell them about himself, hating the fact that he could not. "I wish I could. I'm not sure who he is." His eyes were soft and sad on her face. 

"Who are you?" The first boy asked gently.

"I'm the one who hurts her and keeps her from you," he told them before abruptly leaving the room. The admission somehow more painful when he confessed his crimes to an innocent.

Wakanda June 2017

Steve didn't know if he was more worried about himself or Bucky. Unsure if the long months spent away from home were worth it. They were, he assured himself, fighting Nahvie's face from the forefront of his mind. Strange and Wanda's work with Bucky had been extraordinary. Sure, he wasn't the Bucky he'd been before the war. That wasn't what Bucky wanted anyway. The words could no longer trigger the Winter Soldier, that had been the goal. Steve waited until everyone was as recovered as they could be before he dropped the news Nahvie had brought.

"We need to start training to be a fully functioning team. With the Doctor's help we'll be ready for whatever may come our way," Clint piped up with the suggestion immediately. "If we're facing something we've never faced before and it threatens the universe, without Nahvie here to help us prepare, Strange is the best source of info we have on whatever this fight is going to be."

Questions started with immediacy and were asked for many hours. Both Rogers and Strange found themselves disquieted by the number of times they'd had to say 'I don't know'. Hours later as the group dispersed with minds ill at ease and crestfallen hearts, Steve found himself held by back by Bucky's hand on his arm. Bucky said they needed a private word.

"Is she alright?" The frown on Bucky's face was deep when he asked the question.

"She's ruling Asgard and Alfheim so I imagine she's overworked and angry. Loki sealed her powers away so she's at a disadvantage," Steve answered as Bucky let go of his arm. "Since he took her and assumed the throne she doesn't trust him, so she won't leave the Asgardians unprotected." He watched the muscles along Bucky's jaw work at the news. "There is something I need to tell you but I have a question first," he waited for Bucky's short nod to continue. "Can you feel us in here?" Steve pointed at his own sternum, a soft look in his eyes as he waited.

Bucky had readied a sharp retort that died on his tongue. Steve was right. If he concentrated on either of them he could feel a warmth in his chest. "What happened?"

Steve swallowed, "She found a loophole on Asgard. It allowed her to marry both of us in some kind of weird elf spell or bond or something. She didn't have a lot of time to explain." Steve gave Bucky a small, sad smile.

"What does that mean? I know she's royalty out there and all but will they recognize that here?" The confusion written on Bucky's face would have been priceless if the situation weren't so tragic.

Steve shrugged, "It means you have a wife and a husband, Mr. Barnes. You managed all of that in your sleep." Steve told him, failing to keep the mirth from his voice.

"Shut it, punk. It really just means I have to worry about both of you that much more," Bucky shot him a dark look that conveyed how much he wanted no more teasing. "You've seen her. How is she? Really." He didn't bother trying to hide the concern from his face when he asked.

"Like I said, she's running two planets. Organizing two armies. She was abducted by a deranged lunatic. She looked thin and tired. When she came she showed up in the dress she'd married us in, stayed the night, explained what few details I gave you and left." Steve kept the other details about that night to himself.

Bucky's frowned had only deepened, his mouth now a thin, grim line. There was one burning question in his mind and he wouldn't ask the answer of Steve, as Steve didn't have the answer. Nahvalia had been totally transparent in Bucharest about everything but their engagement. She'd told him of her meditation forest and the reason she no longer found solace there. If Loki had so much as laid a hand on her Bucky was going to end him. And do it in ways that would make the demi-god scream for mercy. Steve's hand clapping over his shoulder hauled him from his dark thoughts.

"The rest of them know. That's why you and I share a room and no one else does," Steve assured him.

"Well that's just fucking great, Steve," Bucky growled. "I see why you waited to tell me after the deprogramming was a confirmed success. So I couldn't use it as an excuse to kill you."

Asgard June 2017

Nahvie was deeply asleep and had no way of discovering what Loki was about this night, he'd taken extra pains to ensure it. He did, however, run his hand over silver-white strands. His eyes gazed lovingly at her now glowing face. It had taken months of pregnancy and only in sleep for her face to lose that hard, logical expression more suited to a king than a queen. He hadn't realized how much steel ran inside her until he'd watched the softness of her fall away. The news he'd come to bear would only make that expression harden further. So he immersed her in sleep, not knowing how deep her mind would go to speak with her boys: Jory and Joey. George Steven and James Joseph had grown used to be spoken to by Loki since the latter had discovered she carried them months before.

"Greetings, boys. Would you like another story tonight?" Loki asked and waited.

"Yes," the answer came quickly. Both boys took after their mother in telepathy. Loki smiled and laid down beside her, his hand rested over her children as his head leaned at her petite shoulder.

"Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess. Sweet, intelligent and fair. She had been sent forth to be a light amongst the stars and protect people who could not protect themselves. She made life brighter, more beautiful, wherever she went. She fought in many wars and battles. Helped the dying and diseased. This little princess was a fierce protector of life.

She met a man who shared her overwhelming desire to protect and save others. Someone who also matched her in kindness and they fell in love," Loki whispered to the boys.

"Will we meet him?" Joey asked, his voice sweetly curious.

"Ah, dear boy, I daresay you will. Our little princess does not let much stand in the way. You will meet your father and you will be so honored to be the son of such parents as yours. You will love them both deeply," Loki frowned sadly at her swollen belly and the boys within. Knowing he would have to wake her soon, tell her of his folly and this was most likely the last time he would speak to either of them again.

"You gonna give her the powers you stole from her? I'd kinda like to talk to my mom and not the villain of every story," Jory asked. He was more like his father, cautious where his mother's safety was concerned. Loki liked him best.

"As the one who broke her heart and continues to do so, I doubt you would take me at my word. Even as I hold you both from her, she tries to fix me. I am the one who chased her to Midgard and put the hard light in her eyes. I have visited only pain on her her in the past. You have no reason to trust me when I say, yes. Yes, I would restore her mind to her."

A brief flicker of a long-lost dream passed through Loki's mind of the silver-blond son and a raven-tressed daughter. The vision of their children running and playing with other children raced through his mind's eye before the nightmare of what drove him here crashed through. He had seen the soldier, knew well how their features would mingle in these boys. He closed his eyes against the pain.

Dreamscape

Nahvalia stood before her father on a flat, snowy plain,"Vanimelda hina," he held her tear-streaked face in his hands. "You were never meant for the field of battle, though you do well upon it. Your grandfather would be proud. It broke the tenderness of you I prayed your mother would never take and woke the great guardian inside of you. I knew it would even as I hated myself for passing the burden. You were always so much stronger than I." Roran wiped tears from his daughter's face. He touched for the last time the face of his beloved child, cursed her and hated himself for his weakness. He had begged the Watcher for another outcome, another child. Had pleaded for other opinions after his vision, but this was the way it had to be.

"Father, you know what is to come, don't you?" Nahvalia's eyes grew somber, the joy and sorrow leeched from her eyes. "Tell me so I may prepare myself."

Asgard

Loki finally amassed the courage to wake her. He told her what he'd done and readied himself for a sharp rebuking, perhaps even a raised hand. Instead, she listened tiredly. He could see her ticking points off in her head. She massaged her forehead and he'd believed himself free when she asked, "Why were you in here? It doesn't enhance your command of my mind and will."

"I came to tell the boys a story," Loki told her simply.

Nahvalia realized she was back in firm control of her powers. Every instinct in her wanted to maim, rip and hurt him. Instead, she asked, acid in every word she spoke," What did you say to them?"

"I told them that I was the one destroying you," Loki took his leave then.

Nahvalia dressed and waddled down to the dining hall. Her regal bearing tested at the sight of Loki seated in his chair. "My Lord," she greeted his with what passed as a smile to those that did not know her. He regarded her cautiously, even more so when Sif dropped into the chair beside her. It seemed they were in need of a conversation Loki was not privy to hear. He had lost his appetite anyway, looking away from familiar gray eyes.

 

Wakanda July 14, 2017

T'Challa's guards had summoned him immediately when she had appeared on the grounds. Shock and confusion were evident in his expression as he motioned her closer and took one of the children from her. "He is whole again, your Majesty," T'Challa said, speaking quietly on behalf of the surprisingly heavy baby he held. 

"Good. For what is coming, we are going to need everyone." She made it a declaration as she moved through the palace surprising T'Challa further by leading him to her husbands. Astonishment was almost too mild a word to use when Steve and Bucky registered who had walked into their room. She held Jory close as she waited for words and the fallout.

T'Challa looked amused and handed the baby he held to Steve, "I believe this is yours, Captain," he chuckled quietly on his way out.

"I take it the good doctor did as I asked?" She made it a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, we-," Steve started.

"No time," Nahvalia interjected. "Take them home. Tell Stark. Rally the team," she spoke baldly.

"Nahvie," Bucky broke in harshly.

She leveled his words with a look,"The war has started out there. Thor, Odin and they are doing their best but they need my assistance. My army. They need the Light. I cannot lead them and do this too! We are trying to stop him before he gains another stone. Take care of our children."

"Nahvie, Who is coming? Why are you so upset?" Bucky asked, taking the baby from her. He stood like Steve, entranced by the small, squirming infant trying to recapture sleep in his arms. She didn't use words to answer, she showed them in moments, everything they'd missed.

Steve recovered first,"No." It was an order.

"Yes," she responded. Sadness and regret bare on her face. "I can only stay long enough to get you all home and settled with them. Becks will be thrilled to know you're home and may help you with them, but I can't stay."

"Take us with you. We can help," Bucky insisted.

"You will be helping," Nahvie shot back. "Looking after my kids."

Wanda had started running the moment she felt the 'not' that signaled Nahvie's return. She took the small bundle from Bucky as Steve handed his to Sam. The rest of the team had followed suit and watched the uncomfortable stand-off of Stanton, Barnes, and Rogers. Steve had been here before and it never ended well. Nahvie and Bucky had closed the distance and stood to glare at each other.

"Maybe get everyone clear," Steve suggested to Wanda. "Guys," he said reasonably. "This isn't what we need to be doing right now," Steve warned.

"Oh, you got that right. This is her M.O. isn't, Stanton?" Bucky ground out through clenched teeth. "Every fucking time you run off to a fight and leave us behind to worry."

"It's Rogers-," she started.

"The hell it is! Until it's legal and you married him right you can't claim shit," Bucky snapped back.

"What the fuck is your problem, Barnes?" she hissed quietly, "I have to go."

"Sure, and we have to stay here? You're our fucking wife now and you owe us both a shitload more than this," he towered over her.

Her finger jabbed him in the chest,"You don't intimidate me, James Buchanan Barnes and you sure as shit don't get to tell me what to do with my life and my kingdom."

"It's ours too. Just like you and just like...," he gestured in the direction the children had been taken and faltered. "Jesus, Nahvie! You haven't even told us their names. Nothing. You've told us nothing."

She didn't even look back. "Wanda was holding Joseph James and Sam was holding George Steven. Ten days old. I call them Jory and Joey. Happy now?"

"Not hardly," Bucky's shoulders slumped. "So we can keep you until we're home and settled?" He watched her nod. "Good. Stay the hell away from me until the plane lands. I may kill you otherwise."

"The hell I will, Barnes! If this plays out the way I'm afraid it will, I won't be around for you to yell at."

Bucky crossed the room and seized her by the arm, "You are coming with me right now and you are going to tell me everything you don't want him to know." Nahvalia gasped, startled, and struggled to keep up with his long, angry strides. He dragged her into the room he and Steve shared and bolted the door. "Start talking," he demanded.

"There isn't any way for me to come back if I perform the spells to stop him, Buck. If I'm called upon to do the actual job of Light and Keeper it means I take the mantle of death. That's why the boys need to stay here with their fathers."

He couldn't stand the pain in her eyes or in his heart at her words. He pulled her to him and kissed her until kissing became so much more. He wasn't gentle with her like he was with Steve. Nahvie was tough, her broken pieces fit the jagged edges within him. Always had. She had been right when she'd told Steve they were flowers and romance. Nahvie was never soft for Bucky, they were gunpowder and fire.

He rolled toward her when he felt her shift, eyeing a fading bruise on her neck. She was going to take a shower. He asked the question that had nagged at him since he'd found who had taken her. "When you were with Loki, did he..,"

She knew he would ask and had to steel herself for it, "No. Only in my mind, Buck"

He flopped back in relief on the bed, arm covering his eyes, "He should still die for that.." 

 

Alfheim September 2017

Nahvalia couldn't count the number of days she had slept since New York and the comfort of home seemed far away. She missed her sons. She missed her husbands. The constant influx of worry should have been enough without her tired mind borrowing more. That had to be why she was so sick. Gods she was sick! Every day almost like clockwork, she stomach rioted.

Her skin was clammy and her head threatened to burst with pain now as Sif waited to tell her of the battle on Asgard. Nahvie staggered away from the tree and into the tent to rinse her mouth with water. "My most humble apologies," she muttered at Sif with a weak smile while Sif's was amused.

"If I may speak freely," the warrior asked without caring about an answer. "I wasn't aware that the men of Midgard were so potent."

Nahvie frowned then cursed. "They got both of them with it!" She hissed in displeasure.

"I fail to see the problem, my Queen. Your children will be a boon to your people," Sif said, ignoring the hate-filled look Nahvalia shot her.

"I have no time to be with child on a battlefield, Sif. We have difficulties enough."

"The news that I bear is far more disconcerting, I fear. Loki has disappeared and Thor has gone to help your mortals. Odin held Asgard from Hela by the barest to holds and we can send Midgard no further aid." Sif's eyes were heavy with regret at those words.

Nahvalia nodded. When Odin had retaken the throne, his position was not much changed. Loki had taken to avoiding the palace, anyone really, truth be told. He had confessed much to Thor and Banner on Earth but wouldn't talk about it now.

Nahvie had dedicated her time to finding the link between the stones, Hela, and the Light. Now that she understood it, she could see why Hela had encouraged Thanos' affections. It disgusted her but she could understand the logic. She pressed a hand to the tumultuous mess that was her stomach. Battle plans needed her attention and she had no further time for complications.

Activity from her peripheral drew her attention. "Lady Sif, Queen Nahvalia. Loki of Asgard has appeared at our camp and has begged an audience with you." Nahvalia shared a look with Sif and went to meet with him. Loki appeared anxious, eyes shifting in perpetual motion.

"Speak," Nahvalia commanded.

"They have taken the stones on Asgard, with the exception of this one." Loki's hand moved furtively shooting up his sleeve. He reached for Nahvie's hand and dropped the space stone into it. "It was the only one I could get to you and for that, as well as much more, I apologize."

Nahvie contemplated the man she once felt so much for. She was positive he had risked much to bring the stone to her. At a base level, she knew he hoped this would make her find the kindness to forgive him. She acknowledged that to some degree she could, if for nothing more than what they had once meant to each other. Still, she knew there was more to this than just Loki's guilt. "Why?"

"No, this isn't a meager attempt to rekindle your feelings for me," Loki hissed derisively.

"It wouldn't have worked if it were," Nahvalia assured him coldly. Realization of his intentions suddenly became quite clear, "You give me this so I'll show mercy if the Light is called." His expression confirmed her speculation. Her laugh was bitter as Loki hung his head. Sif watched the entire exchange with a frown at dawning awareness.

Nahvie studied him again, "I will show you mercy should occasion present itself but not because of this." She told the flummoxed man staring at her disbelieving. "I will grant you mercy because that is what Steven would counsel me to do. As an example to our children." Her empty hand rose unconsciously to her lower abdomen, grateful the churning had ceased. "Be thankful to him for this. My other husband is not the forgiving type. He would find a way to rend you limb from limb and I have no moral compunction not to give him instruction." She left without another word.


End file.
